Fattylumpkins
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since: 12-11-07, id: 1442906, Profile Updated: 01-02-09
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.

Hey, I'm Sam! I'm a music nerd! I currently living in Iowa, and have a dull life. I am fifteen years old and fairly short...almost 5'1, but i will always be this tall...I have medium length, brown hair, I am quite clumsy, which is not as good as it seems :P ..I read waaay too much for more my own good. Along with my interest in reading, i write (duh!), draw, play the following instruments -piano, guitar, clarinet. That's pretty much my life...Again...music nerd XD

The Dark Side gets all the cool toys. You come to the Dark Side, we can guarantee you a cape. You wanna use your powers to get into the movie theater for free? Cool with us. We provide excellent theme music for stalking through your lair. Oh, and don't forget: black is slimming, and it goes with everything. Power, strength, fashion sense, a great 401k, plus, we offer the ultimate prize -- cookies! Bet you didn't know the Sith Lords were a veritable cadre of Iron Chefs in the kitchen. By harnessing the power of the Dark Side, they've made these cookies well-nigh irresistible. Can't you almost smell the scent of fresh-baked cookies, wafting through the airlock... But no milk. Milk promotes strong bones and a healthy body, and we don't need that crap.

(do you not adore it? I believe it's brill!)

Hillarious Quotes:

-You guys line up alphabetically by height
Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

-I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada
Britney Spears, Pop Singer

-"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

-"Can you get a ticket for running a stop sign that is not
there?"
Driver school applicant

-"The world is more like it is now then it ever has before."
Dwight Eisenhower

-"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
George Bush, U.S. President

-If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
George Gobel

-"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding."
Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons

-"We're going to move left and right at the same time."
Jerry Brown, Governor of California

"I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad."
Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player

He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota.

Pitching is 80 of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding."
Mickey Rivers, baseball player

"I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife."
Mike Greenwell, Baseball player

"If only faces could talk..."
Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl

Solutions are not the answer."
Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

"A bachelor's life is no life for a single man."
Samuel Goldwyn

A repair shop:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Constipated People Don't Give A crap.

If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?

I'm the kinda girl that laughs at things three times. first when the joke is told. then after i have it explained to me. and finally three hours later when i fiiinaly get it.


1. At the Pool » reviews
Bella falls asleep while at the Forks Community Pool, what happens when Alice and Rosalie decide to be mean. ALL HUMAN :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,927 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 1-2-09 - Published: 9-18-08
2. Every Rose Has It's Thorn » reviews
Young Rosalie Hale is a beauty, marrying into a rich family. Then one night, everything goes wrong. What will she do for revenge? What will her new family think of her? THIS ONE'S FOR ROSE..SHE DESERVES SOME LOVE TOO! REVEIW!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Horror - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,614 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 12-31-08 - Published: 3-23-08
3. Making Changes » reviews
Everything seemed to go in slow motion. One moment Ben and I were looking at the sign, and the next a speeding car was coming head on towards us and seemed to take no notice... part of my story so keep reading, involves all twilight characters R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 15,992 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 6-4-08 - Published: 12-16-07 - Complete
4. Distractions » reviews
The Cullen brothers start a band while the girls are away... What will happen in the heat of their stardome! R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,493 - Reviews: 34 - Updated: 3-16-08 - Published: 1-31-08 - Complete