Apparently you guys don't have comedy like this in the US...it's a pitty, Mock The Week. I love this clip, Stewart Francis.

My story, All Aboard is also being translated into German! http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4394519/1/Alle_an_Bord And now...Spanish!! http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4648330/1/All_Aboard

Summary of my stories, because some times the summary box just aint long enough...

Absconder. (Vampires) In Progress.

This something a little different from me. A little darker, but the fun times will roll later on. This is my first Vampire story also. Alice, Bella and Rose have enough of working for the Volturi, being under Aro's control and being his pets. The trio must work out how to leave the coven without being found out and killed first. ExB, EmxR, JxA. ALL VAMPIRES. Absconder-'Runaway' 'Fugitive'

All Aboard.(All Human) Complete.

Rosalie, Alice and Bella are best friends who win a random prize for a Caribbean cruise which includes a personal assistant, a Penthouse Suite room, and coincidentally drop dead goregous neighbours--Edward, Emmett and Jasper who are sent on their annual cruise by their father Carlisle. The six of them go through, flower arragment classes, a drunken escapade to a childrens play area (love this chapter)...basically, there's too much to mention, so just go sneak a peek!

All For Love And Love For All. (All Human) Complete.

When Emmett decides to give Edward a little push into the dating scene, he helps him out with a dating website...which unknown to them, Bella is also on. The two of them arange a date at the mall...coincidently on the same day... Classic 'fate' moment and also, I threw in a cute little girl who falls for Edward and wants to be his girlfriend, just for the 'Awww' factor.

Alter Ego. (All Human) In Progress.

This is something a little new for me, writing Bella a little different from the 'norm'. She's a little more gutsy, and yet more drawn into herself at the same time.I suppose she holds some mystery for those around her, expecially Edward who has always seen her as his friend that need sticking up for and neighbour,

Divine Intervention. (All Human) DELETED. 12th Feb '09//Re-posted 9th of August '09.

I started this story feeling positive after writing chapter one, the car crash, which I loved, but 35 labouring chapters on and I was sick and tired or writing it. I knew where I was going with the story, but I lost my heart, I couldn't care less what happened to he story and its charecters. I felt also that my writing nose dived in this story. I don't know if that's the case, but I couldnt get a grip on it and I found myself dreading the thought of writing the next chapter and expecially finishing the story, therefore, I deleted it.

I only deleted the story minutes ago, but I instantly felt that a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I don't have to keep worrying about writing this story now, because it's gone. I do have every chapter saved. Maybe someday I'll come back and go back over it, give it more care and attention that I did give it and finish it, but it's doubtfull. I can confidently say that I hate this story and I don't even know why I dragged it on for so long. It wont happen again, I'm hoping to take better care of whatever I write from now on.

For some reason, I've decided to give this story another try. Wish me luck folks ;)

I Can Feel It. (All Human) Complete.

Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Rosalie head to the beach on a very hot day and chill out on the beach. Edward, being the odd one out goes for a walk and comes across the new girl Bella. Mike, Lauren, Jessica and the rest have pinched her shoes, leaving her bare footed without any way of crossing the hot road back to the beach until her knight in shining armour turns up! Complete and Utter Fluff.

I Can Feel It Too. (All human) Complete.

This is the same sort of idea as the story above, only that I've focused it on how Emmett and Rosalie first met.

Love Thy Neighbour. (All Human) Complete.

Alice and Rosalie work at Vogue, writing different articles each month on different topics, sometimes fashion, money, politics etc. On this particular month, they get the 'Love' topic. With a new goregous neighbour, who goes by the name of Edward and a single best friend named Bella, who has been given two weeks off work, what else are the two women going to do but play Cupid and matchmake?

Mayday (All Human) In Progress.

A short story, maybe two or three chapters short by the time I finish. Rosalie heads home from visiting her parents in New York. She heads to the same old airport as usual, sits at the same old bar as uaual to pass the time. Emmett, a stranger, soon enter's Rosalie's little story. Pretty much the whole thing will take place on board the plane. Lots will happen, but this isn't one of those 'Mile High Club' stories...no horny lemons thankyou. Just some fluff..gotta love fluff...

Stalker, Stalker Saviours. (All Human) Complete.

My first story. Rosalie, Alice and Bella live together and start getting funny calls and messages from an unknown source. Once it gets too much for them, they call in the cavalry and get Edward ('Alice's brother') Jasper ('Rosalie's Twin') and Emmett (Edward and Jasper's best friend.) Have a read and see how they cope with death threats, a break in and the couples falling in love.

Take Me Drunk I'm Home. (All Human) Complete.

A short 3chapter piece which follow from the first chapter. Emmett, Alice and Bella go out on a night out and get mighty drunk. Find out how the gallant Emmett escorts Alice and Bella...home to their houses...and the consiquences. The first chapter's Emmett's stroy, where he ends up meeting Rosalie. The second is Alice's chapter, where she meets Jasper and the third is obviously Bella's, where she meets Edward. Fluff, comedy, randomness all in one.

The Closed Book Bella. (Vampires/Human) In Progress.

Bella has been traumatised by witnessing something horrific and ends up trying to escape the memory by commiting suicide by gassing herself in her truck. She survives, thanks to Charlie and Dr Carlisle Cullen. She's soon sent to the award winning therapist, Dr Edward Cullen who is famous for his record recovery rates. With Bella he's stumped and she ends up being his longest running client.

Note : This story was supposed to be a one chapter one shot, nothing more. But then I got swamped with more ideas! To clarify the story set-up, Chapter 1- The original chapter. Bella's first session with Edward AND then it cuts to their final with a slight overview of how they progressed between. Chapter 2 + - The inbetween bits. I guess you could call them outtakes. They'll be chapters which will take you through how Bella and Edward progressed from that first session to their last which were mentioned in chapter 1. I hope that all made sense!

The Heist. (All Human) Complete.

Edward, Emmett and Jasper are all bank robbers. (Alice and Rosalie are their beautiful accomplices.) Bella is stuck in a job she hates in a bank, but on the upside, a sexy green eyed man has recently been turning up everytime she works just to cash some checks. But all is not what it seems...poor Bella. Mega Fluff.

Vision Of A Lifetime. (All Human) Complete (For now, I will be adding more at some point

Alice is a daughter to the wealthy Mr&Mrs Brandon, who hire some men in to extend their lavish house. Enter Jasper, who is the man that Alice keeps marrying in her dreams. A tale of forbidden love and drama set back in 1900's-ish. Old Style anyway. Only 8 chapters short.

Some of these might not show up, the pages might have expired by now...sorry!

Dresses for All Aboard, Chapter 2 (Shiver My Timbers)RosalieAliceBella

Dresses for All Aboard, Chapter 9 (Close Quarters.) Rosalie--Alice--Bella

Dresses for All Aboard, Chapter 12 (Brass Monkey.) Rosalie--Alice--Bella

Dresses for All Aboard Chapter 17 (Ship-shape And Bristol Fashion) Rosalie--Alice--Bella

Dresses for All Aboard, Chapter 19 (Hard And Fast) Rosalie--Alice--Bella

Dresses for Love Thy Neighbour, Chapter 7 (Shotgun) Rosalie--Alice--Bella

Engagment rings for Love Thy Neighbour, Chapter 8, (Champagne And Kisses) Alice--Rosalie