cuteknight101

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since	: 12-19-07, id: 1448645, Profile Updated: 06-23-12
country	: Spain

Author has written 22 stories for Teen Titans, Sailor Moon, Cat Returns, Fairy Tail, and Rise of the Guardians.

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About me:I have brown hair and blue eyes. I love to
write even if I am not very good. I am a big teen titan, sailor moon, and of
course doctor who. If you read my stories please give your real opinion (I
don’t mind flames) and maybe a couple of pointers. I’m a bit lost here, so
please give me some advice. I live in Spain, so it would explain my bad
spelling.

age: sixteen

birthday:16th of june

I am a Clueless Uke!

Having a good time is what you're all about. You're satisfied just to have someone to eat hamburgers and play video games with, and are completely oblivious to other's manipulative behavior. You don't expect much, and that can be a good thing. You're perfect prey for the Opportunist Seme, who might take advantage of you, but you probably won't even notice, or really care, as long as you're enjoying yourself.

Most compatible with: Opportunist Seme, Romantic Seme
Least compatible with: Sadistic Seme, Don't Fuck With Me Seme

http://semeuke.com/

"Let's give them some privacy," Charlie urged when Draco started to protest.

"But I want to hear about DNA!" the blond Slytherin complained.

"I'll explain it to you later," Charlie told him. "Let's go down to the Quidditch Pitch and watch the workmen."

That caught the Slytherin's interest. "Can we throw things at them?" he asked hopefully, receiving odd looks from Ron and Ginny.

from the marriage stone snarry

favorite shows: fairy tail, sherlock, bleach, big bang theory, bones, doctor who, sailor moon

Favorite films: Lord of the Rings, Indiana Jones, Howl’s Moving Castle,x-men, vanhelsing, and
Pirates of the Caribbean.

Favorite Books: Hobbit, anything by p.c cast, vampire academy, and any doctor who novels.

Favorite Music: I like Avril, Rihanna, Pat Benitar, and Hilary Duff.

i also love ghibli mainly laputa,cat returns, nausicaa, howls moving castle, kikis delivery servise but i love the others to. im a big doctor who fan and own all of the episodes.

want to read:

hoot by carl hiaasen

Darkest Powers Trilogy

fave's-

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4422817/1/Fighting_Another_War

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5766454/1/Where_The_Sleeper_Waits

Being_a_Veelas_mate by Chereche drarry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5254833/1/Being_a_Veelas_mate

Sleeping Somewhere Cold by Dark Cyan Star voldemort/harry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4323618/1/Sleeping_Somewhere_Cold

Poisonous Kiss by enchanted nightingale Harry/Lucius http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5091880/29/Poisonous_Kiss

growing pains by SensiblyTainted drarry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2388416/29/Growing_Pains

of shadow shine and shades by dra6on snarry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5718423/20/Of_Shadow_Shine_And_Shades

The curse of Artemis by Shortsnout snarry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6415023/1/The_curse_of_Artemis

Inside My Mind bysistersgrimmlover tom/harry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6661694/1/Inside_My_Mind

A Brave New World by Cithara snarry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5653847/1/A_Brave_New_World

In Servitude to the Dark : The Hand that Guides Me byxXxLuckyxXx tom/harryhttp://www.fanfiction.net/s/7642914/1/In_Servitude_to_the_Dark_The_Hand_that_Guides_Me

Death of Today by Epic Solemnity voldemort/harry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5402147/1/Death_of_Today

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1716203/point_of_tears snarry

triqueta by mottlemoth snape/draco/harry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5373867/18/Triquetra

Visionary by bc voldermort/harry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4088429/13/Visionary

Dark Desire by kitmistress drarry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7287928/1/Dark_Desire

The Power of Obsessive Love byZhu Yingtai voldemort/harry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4296783/1/The_Power_of_Obsessive_Love

Liquida Tenebris byDoYouMindIfISlytherin voldemort/harry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7552026/1/Liquida_Tenebris

Bonded One by Stephke23 tom/harry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7145929/1/Bonded_One

Harry Potter and the Descent into Darkness voldermort/harryhttp://www.fanfiction.net/s/6163339/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Descent_into_Darkness

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7560462/1/When_Extended_Family_is_Discovered by Athey drarry

The Marriage Stone by Josephine Darcy snarry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3484954/1/The_Marriage_Stone

Blood Quill Consequences by Acherona snarry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7644894/1/Blood_Quill_Consequences

all storys by http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1596190/Emmylia

voldrmort/harry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3532054/1/Paraselenic

voldermort/harry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5563431/1/Dabbling_With_The_Dark

voldermort/harry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4392860/1/Cant_Break_the_Silence

voldermort/harry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3762636/1/The_Black_Heir

all stories by http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1745367/MidnightEmber

all stories by http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1304480/DebsTheSlytherinSnapefan

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6820239/1/Unforgivable_Mistakes harry/oc

voldermort/harry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6671073/1/Paradise_Lost

drary http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7545750/1/Miles_to_go_Before_I_Sleep

Pantogogue by bc snarry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3823410/32/Pantogogue

Veela Inheritance Problems by sakya drarry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2741164/1/Veela_Inheritance_Problems

InterVivos by Lomonaaeren drarry http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4740583/1/Inter_Vivos

Synthetic Bonds by mypetelephant drarry non magic http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7375641/1/Synthetic_Bonds

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will hand you a Kleenex and ask you “Who do I have to kill?”

An okay friend calls you in jail. A good friend visits you in jail. But only a best friend is sitting on the bench next to you saying, “Man we should’ve run faster!”

baronharu

pamzu-kun

natsulucy

ichigo/oc

sanji/zoro

kanade/Otonashi

ciel/sebastian

harry/oc

oz/alice

usui/misaki

usagiseyia forever

starfirerobin forever

Harry was hardly aware of his own voice. "When I'm a sad old queer bachelor," he sobbed, "can I come live in your attic? I won't scare your children – I p-promise – " triqueta by mottlemoth

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
C. S. Lewis

We are what we believe we are.
C. S. Lewis

With the possible exception of the equator, everything begins somewhere.
C. S. Lewis

Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
J. R. R. Tolkien

Still round the corner there may wait, A new road or a secret gate.
J. R. R. Tolkien

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Jim Carrey

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
Albert Einstein

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
Dr. Seuss

Trust that little voice in your head that says 'Wouldn't it be interesting if...'; And then do it.
Duane Michals

REASON'S WHY GIRLS RULE:

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark

Month one
Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two
Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four
Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven
Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

37 Things to do in an Elevator (DID NOT WRITE. BORROWED ONLY!)

1.) Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask, "Got enough air in there?"
2.) Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3.) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4.) Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5.) Meow occasionally.
6.) Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
7.) Say, "DING!" at each floor.
8.) Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9.) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10.) Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on."
11.) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
12.) Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13.) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."
14.) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15.) As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16.) Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17.) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg! How's your day been?"
18.) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
19.) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20.) Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21.) Swat at flies that don't exist.
22.) Call out, "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23.) Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24.) Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25.) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26.) Walk on with a cooler that says, "human head" on the side.
27.) While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it... quick!" then whistle innocently.
28.) Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29.) Walk in and say, "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30.) Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31.) Ask people which floor they want, then in a 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire' style ask if that is their final answer.
32.) Also in your bellboy act ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33.) Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34.) Tell people that you can see their aura.
35.) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic. They open up again."
36.) Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
37.) Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce, "It is time..."

Stupid Laws that are REAL!!

1. In Rhode Island it is illegal to sell tooth paste and a tooth bruch to the same custermer on Sundays. Sucks for you loser!

2. In New York jumping off buildings is punishable by DEATH! NAH SHIT!!

3. It is illegal to get fish DRUNK in Ohio. HTF do u do that!!

4. It's illegal to drive barefoot in Alabama. Aww, to late!

5. In Alabama it's illegal to maim yourself to get out of your duty. Yes, I'll KILL myself to get out of work...

6. Putting SALT on a railroad track is punishable by DEATH in Alabama. Will it make it rust?

7. It is concisdered OFFENCIVE to push a moose out a moving airplane in Alaska. D: Poor moose!!

8. In Alaska it is illegal to tie your PET dog to the roof of your car. So if I don't own it I can strap it down on my roof!? And what about a pig or Alligator!?

9. In Alaska a person is only allowed to have a concealed SLINGSHOT only with the propper license. ...a slingshot... so if see someone getting mugged I can't help them with my mighty slingshot cuz it MUST be concealed.

10. Owners of flamingos may not let their pet into barber shops in Alaska. What if pinky needs a...'feather' cut? Where do I go?

11. You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time in Alabma. le gasp where else shall I put it!?

12. There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus in Arizona. well my cactus died! it shrivled up and DIED!

13. Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American in Arizona. racist!

14. In Arizona no more than six girls may live in any house. ...well THAT sucks if you only get GIRLS for childern... What'll you do? throw your daughter out saying she should've been a man!?

15. In Arkansas oral sex is considered to be sodomy. Do they WATCH U!?

16. Honking one’s car horn at a sandwich shop after 9 PM is against the law in Arkansas. Y? What'll happen if I do?!

17. No one may “suddenly start or stop" their car at a McDonald’s in Arkansas. They clearly don't have a drive in.

18. Dogs may not bark after 6 PM in Arkansas. What are you gonna do!? Kill my dog cuz it SPOKE to me!?

19. Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses in California. Again... NAH SHIT!!

20. Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship in California. Sucks for them XD

21. Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including drivewaysCalifornia, lol XD

22. You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permitCalifornia, ...wow -_-

23. It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influenceColorado, OMG! how would that work!? Wouldn't they like SERIOUSLY hurt themself!?

24. Throwing missles at cars is illegalColorado, So r MISSLES included in the incurence?

25. Persons may not urinate in public Colorado, I'd HOPE not! DX

26. Town records may not be kept where liquor is sold Connecticut, Y? What are they so afriad of??

27. In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce Connecticut, EW! do they DROP the pickel!?... sounded weird.

28. It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset Connecticut, ...wont ask -_-

29. It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink Delaware, soooo...puddles included riiight?

30. It is illegal to wear pants that are “firm fitting” around the waist Delaware, They sound like a bunch of perverts...

31. Getting married on a dare is grounds for an annulmentDelaware, I read a fanfic when Inuyasha dared Kagome to marry him and she did! o:

32. On Halloween, children may only “trick-or-treat” from 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM, and if Halloween falls on a Sunday, they must “trick-or-treat” on October 30 during this same time interval Delaware, well...it organized...

33. The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages Florida, Whoo! Go Florida! lol XD

34. It is illegal to sell your childrenFlorida, D: What ass wanted to sell his/her own child!?

35. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon ownerFlorida, lol careful fashion freaks lol...heeeey! what about MEN!?

36. law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing Florida, scoffs well!

A Bit About Friends

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

'Never Argue With A Woman'

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.

For all I know you could startat any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad, she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son, John

P.S. - Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had.

In the early days of the telephone, operators would pick up a call and use the phrase, "Well, are you there?". It wasn't until 1895 that someone suggested answering the phone with the phrase "number please?"

The surface area of an average-sized brick is 79 cm squared.

According to suicide statistics, Monday is the favored day for self-destruction. ( I guess nobody believes in "Happy Monday")

Cats sleep 16 to 18 hours per day.

It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear.

Karoke means "empty orchestra" in Japanese.

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

Rhode Island is the smallest state with the longest name. The official name, used on all state documents, is "Rhode Island and Providence Plantations."

When you die your hair still grows for a couple of months. (Well, that's mildly disturbing.)

There are two credit cards for every person in the United States. (Where's mine????)

Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category.

It would take 11 Empire State Buildings, stacked one on top of the other, to measure the Gulf of Mexico at its deepest point.

The first person selected as the Time Magazine Man of the Year - Charles Lindbergh in 1927.

The most money ever paid for a cow in an auction was 1.3 million. (A cow? Really? Its. A. Cow.)

It took Leo Tolstoy six years to write "War & Peace". (And it probably takes even longer to read!)

The Neanderthal's brain was bigger than yours is.

On the new hundred dollar bill the time on the clock tower of Independence Hall is 4:10.

Each of the suits on a deck of cards represents the four major pillars of the economy in the middle ages: heart represented the Church, spades represented the military, clubs represented agriculture, and diamonds represented the merchant class.

The names of the two stone lions in front of the New York Public Library are Patience and Fortitude. They were named by then-mayor Fiorello LaGuardia.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building. (I wonder when it will just disappear...)

The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly. (...Ew.)

1 in 5,000 north Atlantic lobsters are born bright blue.

There are 10 human body parts that are only 3 letters long (eye hip arm leg ear toe jaw rib lip gum).

A skunk's smell can be detected by a human a mile away.

The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

Henry Ford produced the model T only in black because the black paint available at the time was the fastest to dry.

Mario, of Super Mario Bros. fame, appeared in the 1981 arcade game, Donkey Kong. His original name was Jumpman, but was changed to Mario to honor the Nintendo of America's landlord, Mario Segali.

The three best-known western names in China: Jesus Christ, Richard Nixon, and Elvis Presley.

Every year about 98 of the atoms in your body are replaced.

The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.

World Tourist day is observed on September 27.

Women are 37% more likely to go to a psychiatrist than men are.

The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet (9 m).

Diet Coke was only invented in 1982.

There are more than 1,700 references to gems and precious stones in the King James translation of the Bible.

When snakes are born with two heads, they fight each other for food.

There are twice as many kangaroos in Australia as there are people. The kangaroo population is estimated at about 40 million. (For some unknown reason, I find this incredibly funny...)

Police dogs are trained to react to commands in a foreign language; commonly German but more recently Hungarian.

St. Stephen is the patron saint of bricklayers.

The average person makes about 1,140 telephone calls each year.

Stressed is Desserts spelled backwards. (Mmmmm...ice cream...)

If you had enough water to fill one million goldfish bowls, you could fill an entire stadium.

Mary Stuart became Queen of Scotland when she was only six days old.

Charlie Brown's father was a barber.

Flying from London to New York by Concord, due to the time zones crossed, you can arrive 2 hours before you leave.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet (2 m) away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (Guess who's getting a new toothbrush and not putting it anywhere near where it was last time.)

A lion's roar can be heard from five miles away.

The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles. (Wow. Bubbles go up. Astonishing. LOL ;])

Canadian researchers have found that Einstein's brain was 15cm wider than normal.

The average person spends about 2 years on the phone in a lifetime.

The fist product to have a bar code was Wrigleys gum.

The largest number of children born to one woman is recorded at 69. From 1725-1765, a Russian peasant woman gave birth to 16 sets of twins, 7 sets of triplets, and 4 sets of quadruplets. (OoO)

Beatrix Potter created the first of her legendary "Peter Rabbit" children's stories in 1902.

In ancient Rome, it was considered a sign of leadership to be born with a crooked nose.

The word "nerd" was first coined by Dr. Seuss in "If I Ran the Zoo."

A 41-gun salute is the traditional salute to a royal birth in Great Britain.

The bagpipe was originally made from the whole skin of a dead sheep.

The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear. Any cup-shaped object placed over the ear produces the same effect.

Revolvers cannot be silenced because of all the noisy gasses which escape the cylinder gap at the rear of the barrel.

Liberace Museum has a mirror-plated Rolls Royce; jewel-encrusted capes, and the largest rhinestone in the world, weighing 59 pounds and almost a foot in diameter.

A car that shifts manually gets 2 miles more per gallon of gas than a car with automatic shift.

Cats can hear ultrasound.

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used. (Is that good or bad?)

Children grow faster in the springtime. (Can you believe somebody spent money to study that???)

On average, there are 178 sesame seeds on each McDonalds BigMac bun.

Paul Revere rode on a horse that belonged to Deacon Larkin.

The Baby Ruth candy bar was actually named after Grover Cleveland's baby daughter, Ruth.

Minus 40 degrees Celsius is exactly the same as minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit.

Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down -- hence the expression "to get fired".

Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell.

7.5 million toothpicks can be created from a cord of wood.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

The earliest recorded case of a man giving up smoking was on April 5, 1679, when Johan Katsu, Sheriff of Turku, Finland, wrote in his diary "I quit smoking tobacco." He died one month later.

"Goodbye" came from "God bye" which came from "God be with you."

February is Black History Month.

Jane Barbie was the woman who did the voice recordings for the Bell System.

The first drive-in service station in the United States was opened by Gulf Oil Company - on December 1, 1913, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

The elephant is the only animal with 4 knees.

Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to wear tail lights. (PM me if you actually own one or more portable taillights!!!)

If you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have 1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. 5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest random speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Honey is the only food that doesn't spoil.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth. (Do odontophobes fear dentures? How do they eat???)

The king of hearts in a deck of cards is the only king that doesn't have a mustache.

Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump.

The cars in America honk the note F.

Humans burn more calories sleeping than watching TV.

The sentence: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. Uses every letter in the alphabet

Cockroaches can live up to nine days after their head has been chopped off.

You can lead a cow up the stairs, but they won't go down.

The first food to be grown is space were potatoes.

Baby rattlesnakes are born without rattles.

Peanuts are an ingredient in dynamite.

A squid's eye is about the size of a basketball.

The Mona Lisa wasn't painted with eyebrows.

Jellyfish are ninety-five percent water.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

There are no clocks in Las Vegas casinos.

The average chocolate bar has eight insect legs in it.

Forest fires move faster uphill than downhill.

Most lipstick have fish scales in it.

Porcupines can float in water.

Dolphins sleep with one eye open.

Slugs have four noses.

Apples are more efficient than caffeine when you are trying to wake up in the morning.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine.

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

You have strange nicknames and can tell a detailed story about how you got them.

You know most of the keyboard shortcuts so that you don’t have to ‘waste’ your time reaching for the mouse.

You're Too Big a Harry Potter Fan when...

You mutter nonsense Latin words under your breath.

You call your least favorite teacher Snape.

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and you run outside looking for an owl.

You actually ask for a broom for Christmas.

You mutter "lumos" under your breath every time you turn on a flashlight.

You sort everyone you meet into the four Hogwarts houses. (Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin.)

You were burned when you couldn't get through the flames of your fireplace.

You had to go to the hospital after you broke your nose running headfirst into the wall between platforms nine and ten.

You point a normal things like parking meters and say "Look at the things these muggles dream up!"

You try on every piece of silvery fabric your mom has to see if you turn invisible

Before getting up to get something, you always try to summon it first. Accio TV remote!

You were reduced to tears when you finally had book 5, 6, and 7 in your hands.

You refer to your Chemistry class as Potions

You spend hours tapping bricks in special orders hoping that a secret entrance to Diagon Alley will appear.

When playing chess, you yell orders to the chess players and get upset when they don't move.

You yell into the "tellyfone."

You get extraordinarily emotional every time you hear "Hedwig's Theme".

Despite being an American, you use the word "wicked" all the time because Rupert Grint does.

You get thoroughly overexcited every time you see a word somewhere that is distantly linked with HP (ie. Saint Hedwig's).

You name all of your pets after HP characters.

You know that Harry's birthday is July 31, 1980, Hermione's birthday is September 19, 1980 and Ron's birthday is March 3rd, 1980 even though it never said in the books.

You refer to Voldemort as "You-Know-Who", and your friends don't have any idea who you're talking about.

You were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!" over and over again, even for the most trivial differences.

You count the days until you're old enough for your apparating license, and everyone else thinks you're talking about driving

It’s not a comic book, it’s “Manga”.
It’s not a cartoon, it’s “Anime”.
It’s not homosexual, it’s “Yaoi”.
It’s not lesbian, it’s “Yuri”.
It’s not porn, it’s “Hentai”.
It’s not erotic, it’s “Ecchi”.
It’s not pedophile, it’s “Lolicon”.
It’s not gay, it’s “Shonen-ai”.
It’s not slutty, it’s “Fan Service”.
It’s not costume, it’s “Cosplay”.
It’s not a dating show, it’s “Harem”.
It’s not a fetish, it’s “Moe”.
It’s not a bipolar girl, it’s “Tsundere”.
It’s not a drawing, it’s “Doujinshi”.
It’s not a schizophrenic gir, it’s “Yandere”.
It’s not sexual aberration, it’s “Eroguro”.
It’s not a sex game, it’s “Eroge”.
It’s not Chinese animation, it’s “Japanimation”.

Jenny Curran: Do you ever dream, Forrest, about who you're gonna be?
Forrest Gump: Who I'm gonna be?
Jenny Curran: Yeah.
Forrest Gump: Aren't-aren't I going to be me?

Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.Victor Kiam

"They say you fear death." "If they say Atlantis exists, do you believe it as well?"--I Bid Him by elfinmyth

A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people. Thomas Mann

Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and higher education positively fortifies it.
Stephen Vizinczey

Oh, you should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about.
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest son of a bitch in the valley." - Joel Rosenberg

Behind my smile is a hurting heart. Behind my laugh, I'm falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am...isn't me.-unkown

Whoever said sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the pouring rain.-unknown

We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
Erma Bombeck

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
Irene Peter

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.
Oedipus Rex
Sophocles

There are a lot of things about me that aren't what you thought. But if you love me, you have to love all the things about me.
Dirty Dancing

The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do.
Pirates of the Caribbean

One of the most adventurous things left us is to go to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams.
Edward Verrall Lucas

God is not needed to create guilt or to punish. Our fellow men suffice, aided by ourselves.
The Fall
Albert Camus

Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one.
E. B. White

I believe in the imagination. What I cannot see is infinitely more important than what I can see.
Duane Michals

What we do, Miss Ventura, does not define who we are. What defines us is how well we rise after falling.
Maid in Manhattan

To know, is to know that you know nothing. That is the meaning of true knowledge.
Socrates

It's not easy starting something new. Few things are more intimidating than walking into a brand new situation and having to make the best of it. (Leven Thumps and the Whispered Secret)

Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. (Sir Winston Churchill)

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough. (Mark Twain)

Prejudices are what fools use for reason. (Unknown

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. (Unknown)

And if you look closely to your left, you can see my sanity zooming away. Wave goodbye! (Unknown)

"Now don't you stand for that! If somebody tries to kill you, you try and kill 'em right back!" (Firefly)

"Prejudice is a great timesaver. It enables you to form opinions without bothering to get facts." (Unknown)

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." (Oscar Wilde)

19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Go to a dressing room, stay in there for 2 minutes and then scream: Wheres the toilet paper?!

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

Most Important…

I’m not a geek, I’m a “Otaku”.

When you dial a mental hospital:

Ring...Ring...

Welcome to Psychiatric World. If you are obsessive-complusive, please press one repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the phone so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are delusional and hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

Fantabulous Quotes!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Anon.

Be good, but if you can't manage that, then don't get caught.

Fanfiction: Because it's cheaper than therapy. =D

Growing old in unavoidable, growing up is optional

I am the girl who turns all your favorite literary heroes into sexy, flaming homosexuals. BOW TO ME! –Anime Yaoi Lover

It’s not denial. I’m just very selective about the reality I accept

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass it’s about learning to dance in the rain

I seriously don’t have an anger management problem, just an idiot problem. And I didn’t break his nose; it was a fracture, a fracture people!! –me

Rules are like paperclips, meant to hold things together, easy to bend, and fun to twist out of shape

Knowledge is power, power corrupts, study hard, be evil

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.

Education is important. School, however, is another matter.

Legally, it's questionable; Morally, disgusting; personally, I like it

Labels are for packages

Love as though you have never been hurt before

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

"I think, therefore I get a headache."
"I smile because I have no idea what's going on."
"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."
"Death is life's way of telling you you're fired."
God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die.
There are very few problems that cant be solved by using a large amount of explosives.
You know what! Earth sucks, I’m going home!
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking
"What is this 'kindness' you speak of?"
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them!
"Somehow, in some way that was all your fault."
Retreating! Hell no, we're just attacking the other direction!
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.

Humans were wicked creatures. Worse, perhaps, than the devils who tempted them— and they lied every minute of the day. Over trivialities, over trifling… over the most important and life-changing issues that one would ever be forced to face. They did it for many reasons, each stupider than the last: they lied to their families, as if that might protect them. They lied to their friends, simpering as they scammed and schemed. They lied to themselves, as if in some misguided attempt to find comfort in the cesspool known as London.
Black lies— dark and cloying as molasses, the words sticky and ensnaring. White lies— harmless on the outside, but oozing poison from within. Gray in between… Good intentions may have paved the road to Hell, but cruelty was the adhesive that bound the bricks together. And all around the world, countless mortal morons were traveling down that perilous path: their mouths ceaselessly spinning the webs of spiders, never once realizing that the only prey they would catch within these threads of deceit was themselves.

You are faithful in your mercy. You are gracious to me. When I call you, you will answer me. You are good and forgiving. Your love is all I need. When I call you, you will answer me

I hate two-faced people. You never know which one to slap first

Puh-lease. When I'm lonely, I think of you. Then I'm content with being lonely again

Random quotes to remember
"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."
"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...
Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics
If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable
Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my familly so it must be one of them. It's ether my mum or dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But i think it's Colin.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.
If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.

favourite quotes:

You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villian."

Those who really live never truly die," -Elisabeth wilkes

We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, but to create something that will."-bob marley

History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.

"Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again.
"So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking..."

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I’ll always be with you.” - winnie the pooh

"You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we know we're called Gred and Forge." -Harry Potter

"I’m never wearing them," Ron was saying stubbornly. "Never." "Fine," snapped Mrs. Weasley. "Go naked. And, Harry, make sure you get a picture of him. Goodness knows I could do with a laugh."— J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"Can I have a look at Uranus, too, Lavender?" —J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

He who breathes deepest lives most.

"You can't give a Dementor the old one-two!"- Harry Potter

"You're a prefect? Oh Ronnie! That's everyone in the family!"
"What are Fred and I? Next door neighbours?" -Harry Potter the Order Of The Phinox

"Of all the trees we could've hit, we had to pick one that fights back." -Harry Potter and the Chamber Of Secrets

"Harry Potter is all about confronting fears, finding inner strength, and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend." -Stephen King

"Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you..." "Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life?" said Harry sarcastically." — J.K. Rowling(Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

"Muggle women wear them, Archie, not the men, they wear these," said the Ministry wizard, and he brandished the pinstriped trousers. "I'm not putting them on," said old Archie in indignation. "I like a healthy breeze 'round my privates, thanks." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"Where is Wood?" said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn't there.
"Still in the showers," said Fred. "We think he's trying to drown himself." -Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

"He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo."

"Aaah ... when two Neptunes appear in the sky it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry..."—J.K. Rowling(Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." – J.K Rowling

"It is our choices, Harry, that show us who we truly are, far more than our abilities."- J.K Rowling

"We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are." – J.K Rowling

“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death.”

You know you live in 2011 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen-name or facebook

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6. Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7. As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8. As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9. And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10. You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11. Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12. Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. --

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you idiot."

A FRIEND WILL BACK UP A LIE! A BEST FRIEND WILL SWEAR TO IT IN COURT

A FRIEND WILL TRY TO STOP YOU FROM FIGHTING A STRANGER FOR LOOKING AT YOU WRONG A BEST FRIEND WILL BE UP IN THE STRANGERS FACE BEFORE YOU CAN GET UP

A FRIEND WILL TELL YOU WHEN YOU HAVE A BOOGER HANIGING OUT OF YOUR NOSE A BEST FRIEND WILL LAUGH AND POINT AT YOU TILL YOU GET SO PISSED YOU HIT THEM.

a good friend will cheer you up when people piss you off; a best friend will help bury the bodies of the people who pissed you off.

a good friend helps you up if you trip, but a best friend just stands there laughing beause they tripped you

"Let's eat grandpa!!"
"Let's eat, grandpa!!"
Punctuation saves lives.

You're Too Big a Harry Potter Fan when...

You mutter nonsense Latin words under your breath.

You call your least favorite teacher Snape.(Actually for me it would probably be my favorite teacher I called that. I lessthanthree Severus!)