I exude feminine charm, not. However, I am a lady: I'm 18 and currently living in a little dump in the South-West of England. I no longer go to college, I'm just searching for a job. I know, stereotype, right? A fat, unemployed, lesbian, British fangirl... Well not for long. Soon, I'll be earning my moo-lah, and you can all suck it: BAHAHAHA. Despite my lack of current education and surprising, though it may seem I, in fact, love to learn, (Though many people would argue that in my short life I have taken in none of what I've learned. To these people I say: Bah!) I speak English and French fluently, and can (and will) bop you down with my knowledge. 'Cause dat's how I roll.

And, here we have a small passage about me and things that I have opinions on: Harry Potter: I thought that the books were fantastic, that is... until I read of some of you guys' fanfiction! Blimey. Not meaning to cause offense to any of you who worship JKR. To be honest, I do too a little... But some of you people blow me away. Homosexuals and slash: I adore slash. I love it so much I chant the word "slash" in my sleep. I worship at my alter of slash fifteen times a day... Okay, I'm exaggerating. But it's true that I love slash, don't get me wrong. I would become fictional just so I could be included in a slash fic. (and that isn't an exaggeration). I have tiny homosexuals dancing in my brain constantly... usually taking the form of extremely hot characters from books I've read... a favourite of mine is Mister Severus Snape (not Alan Rickman, though he is undeniably irresistable, but the Snape my mind creating when I first started reading Harry Potter). Anyways, the homosexuals(of both genders) are always dancing or "getting their freak on" (which is a phrase that makes me giggle for long periods of time).

Pairings that make me sigh and get all tingly:
Hermione/Ginny -- It's just so beautifully RIGHT.
Harry/Snape -- because age gaps are sexy. because Snape is sexy. because teacher/student pairings are sexy. because THEY are sexy.
Hermione/McGonagall -- hot damn.
Hermione/Rita Skeeter -- Oh hell yes... I've written this pairing before and I'll upload it because... Oh. My. God. It was hot.
Remus/Sirius -- so so very cute. (damn Tonks to hell... or lesbianism.)
Ginny/Luna -- I think it's cute, okay?
Dumbledore/Grindelwald -- it's tragic and moving, so so sweet. And hilarious that we were actually right about them.
Harry/Riddle -- both young Tommy and Voldy Tommy... What can I say? I was converted!
Hermione/Luna -- ah, the sweetness...
Hermione/Pansy -- You know... I just bum Hermione generally.
Hermione/Fleur -- Oooh, french sex...
Hermione/Any woman in the HP universe -- Because Hermione is... just... wonderful.

Pairings that make me itch and squirm:
Harry/Ginny -- Ugh. What is it with straight people? It's just not natural, m'kay?
Snape/Hermione -- OMGGTFOMFFkthxbai (I can lolcat too, y'know.)
Harry/Hermione -- wtf. No, just no.
Lucius/Draco -- wrong. wrong. same goes for Harry/James.
Harry/Dumbledore -- I understand that the old man is a lovely guy, but he's like a grandfather, both age-wise and influence-wise.
Dumbledore/McGonagall -- Nuh-uh.
Straight male/Straight female -- Ewwwww...
Bisexual male/Bisexual female -- See above.

Some things to fill space:
I love Monty Python. Hard.
I like the name Albus Severus. STFU.
I don't like James Sirius or Lily Luna. That's just licking the toilet bowl... repeatedly.
I HATE it when people quote Evanescene... I mean, sure, good band, good music. But seriously, they are quoted entirely too often. Why not quote... I dunno... Shania Twain, she's angsty!
I am shamelessly homosexual. (There is only one man I would shag: Snape.)
I am shamelessly heterophobic.
15 year old bisexuals creep me out.
I am SICK TO DEATH of lemony slash fics. I like it cute, just not graphic, damnit. (and yes, I know I'm a hypocrite.)
I cried when I didn't get into Hogwarts.
I cried for an hour and twelve minutes when Dumbledore died. The first half an hour was because he was awesome, the next forty-two minutes was because I thought Snape had gone evil... (all I can say now is Thank Goodness, and sob).
My two main topics of conversation are: homosexuals and homosexual porn/fics.
I am undeniably attracted to people with sexy voices.
I collect rubber ducks like old people collect pot-plants.
I had to put Deathly Hallows down when Harry found out he had to die because my tears were making the ink run. (damn, that's emo).
I often refer to myself as "sir".
If not "sir" then "lady", depending on which gender I'm feeling. (It's usually a bloke).
I enjoy reading far more than is healthy.
I have a very varied sense of humour; I can find a funny side to almost anything.
Sometimes I think about becoming a man just so I could be gay...
Sometimes I get really depressed because I wouldn't have a prostate even if I did become a man. (Shut ya faces. My life... mine).
I'm a gay man in a lesbian's body.
I am a grammar nazi when it comes to stories, especially British grammar. Seriously, anyone need a Brit-picker? I am THERE.

Disclaimer in advance: Harry Potter is owned by the mean straight woman who put Harry and Ginny together and left Snape heartbroken. Yes, I'm annoyed with JKR, but they still belong to her and all of her minions. Sadly, they are not mine, and I have only my imagination for my... libidinous musings. And of course the fanfiction! sigh)