"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die."
--Isaac Asimov (So very, very true...)

So with that in mind I will introduce myself.

Name: Juta

Nickname: jutajazz don't EVER call me that, and if you make jokes about 'Oh hey! I've never met a professional basket player before!' Yes that happened, once, mind you. I'll find u, then procede to torture you with fish hooks and hot iron til you're practically beggin' me for a relief, Death, you pervs!, I'll just leave you in my physic's classroom, then the REAL torture begins...

Gender: Female

Age: Would you believe me if I told you I'm 65 years old? No? Me too. So 16 will do.

Location: I don't believe that there are stalkers in ff.net, so with that said, Lithuania. And it's awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome,awesome,awesome and oh yeah, did I mention Freakin' AWESOME?!

Hobbies: Reading, I can't last a day with out PC..Pathetic? I know. Familiar? I feel your pain. Writing. Daydreaming. Rowing. Talking. Brooding. Cooking, my cakes taste good. And many more, too lazy to name all >.>

Music: On/Off, Back On, UVERworld, Alestorm, Miyavi, Three Days Grace, Papa Roach, Marilyn Manson and others xD

Books: Ring all 3 parts Harry Potter. Shining. The Da Vinci Code. Memoirs of a Geisha. The Thorn Birds.

Basic Info:

I'm a lazy, cranky teenager, who wishes for her school to burn and spends most of her free time near the PC, 'cause computers are addicting as is yaoi, that is way all of my stories are yaoi ones and because I'm so freakin' lazy I have about 10 new story starts in my PC just waiting to be worked on. The plot bunnies rape me frequently as does my friend. Texting with the mobile phone gives me shivers. I'm a right-handed person and proud of that, 'cause I'm gonna live 9 years longer than left-handed ones. Sure, I won't be unique like 'em, but I'm already weird and that's enough for me. I can't live without music or something to read. Long drives with the car/buses make me nauseous. I love the smell of coffee, yet I hate to drink it. I use sarcasm daily, 'cause it's fun as are all kind of quotes. I'm too random to even think about. My stories ain't very good but I'm trying. I'm L'uke-chan, pleasure.

My Status:

Lazy. Zero free time. Too much homework.

HELP!

If you have ANY good stories to offer please do so. Please. I'm having trouble finding good written, interesting fics. PLEASE HELP!

What fics I would absolutely adore to write you may wonder. I mean everyone has one along with their favorite pairing?

Well.. I would die happy if I wrote a Dark/Daisuke one, I'm currently writing one. God it's my favourite pair of all times!

Then I want to write Darco/Harry, and a slash one at that. -- Wrote that!! Exciting, ain't it? xDD

Tohma/Shuichi, I have many many many ideas with this pairing too...

Ryuichi/Ryoma, yes, this is a Gravitation and Prince of Tennis crossover, I would love to write one -sigh-

Harry/SpitofFire, I don't remember Spit of Fire's real name so I'll use his nickname -grin-, this would be an Air Gear and Harry Potter crossover -a big ass grin-

and I really want to write these crossovers: HP and DNAngel; HP and Air Gear; HP and Gravitation; HP and OHSHC; Gravitation and Prince of Tennis; Fruits Baket and HP and Gravitation; HP and Prince of Tennis; HP and Ghost Hunt; HP and Black Cat; HP and KH and this is all..I think xD

My PUBLISHED, that means I put them on this site, Fics ARE:

_-_-_

Title : My Perfect Tale and her End

Anime/Manga/Games: Gravitation

Pair: YukixShuichi

Rating: T

Summary: This is a song-fic. Actually this is my, I think ..um.. 3rd poem. I'm not a good writer but I hope you'll like it. It's quite sad, bitter almost. The fic is about Shu thought's when he's dying, how he thinks everything over.

Progress: COMPLETE, yeah it is but it's not good I don't delete just because this is my first finished fic... So yeah... Not worth reading if you want my opinion. In other words - IT SUCKS. DON'T READ.

Title: Lover

Anime/Manga/Game/Book/Movie: Harry Potter

Pair: SiriusxHarry

Rating: T

Summary: Do ya all know what a lover is? Of course ya know, but do you know what a perfect lover is? Hmm? No? Well it's sucks then. No, but really, this fic is about how Harry tells us all what a perfect lover is, I mean DUH, he has one.

Progress: COMPLETE

Title: Bonbon Fixation - The Never Ending Story

Anime/Manga/Game: Kingdom Hearts

Pairing: RikuxSora and minor AxelxRoxas

Rating: M (smexsmexsmexsmexsmexmsmex)

Summary: Sora wants chocolate. And that's that. So of course Riku and he go and get some but as we all know it doesn't go all nice and dandy. It's starts to rain and Riku starts to notice some little things about Sora and the other way around.. So what could happen to our cute little wet Sora who is enjoying choco when a sexy best friend is "a little bit" horny?

Progress: COMPLETE, FINALLY!

Dedication: To one of my Bestest Best Friends, Agne! This is one of her B-day presents.

Title: One Fucked Up Story

A/M/G/M/B: Harry Potter

Pairing: SiriusxRemusxHarryxJamesxLucius and many more(Yes, I perfectly know this is totally fucked up)

Rating: M

Summary: Harry's a little bit pissed off, wonder why? Well at first he realises that all of his friends are gay and his girlfriend is gay too. Then he gets a surprise from Sirius, his godfather wants him...sexually... and we mustn't forget the fact that Siri already has a boyfriend! And a werewolf at that. But why the pairing involves James and Lucius? Well you have to read to find out. Much much humour. Mostly crack.

Progress: IN-PROGRESS I'm Writing! I'm writing! People don't expect regular updates from me. I will NEVER abandon a story, but still don't think the chaps are coming quick or regularly -scratches her head-

Title: Finally Official!

A/M/M/B/G: Harry Potter

Pairing: DracoxHarry and minor BlaisexSeamus

Rating: M, but only because of the heavy swearing and some hot kisses

Summary: Seamus is dating Blaise, yet they've got problems... Blaise wants to hide their relationship and makes Seamus miserable in the progress. And Harry being our cute little hero doesn't like it, yes...definitely doesn't like it. So he comes up with an ingenious plan, but to make that plan work he needs some help from Blaise's best mate. But will Draco help? With some careful blackmail, I think he will...

Progress: COMPLETE

Ttile: Really?

Anime/Manga/Books: Naruto

Pairing: SasukexNaruto

Rating: M, but it is only for caution, I think it's T.

Summary: A cute lil blond boy ran into the classroom panting. A few gasps later he finally managed to say in a full wonder voice. "You wont believe what I saw!" the whole class leaned forward in their chairs, their eyes shining bright with curious light. "What? What did you see?" With held breath everyone waited for an answer. "I saw..." Who did the blonde beauty see? Interested? If yeah please read and find out. HUMOR, guys and girls.

Progress: COMPLETE, I wrote this in ONE Day. It's a record for me ppl.

Fics, I'm planning to write or I'm already writing:

Title: Lord of Mafia

Anime/Manga/Games: Gravitation

Pairing: RyuichixShu and mabye some more

Rating: M planning to write some smex

Summary: Shuichi or Natsume Zero is The Mafia Lord. He's cold, sarcastic, dangerous, sexy. But one time his servant and friend organizes a surprise for him and Shu is in for one hell of a ride. He becomes a singer! He becomes popular makes new friends and enemies, gets some perverts, who want to get in his pants, gets a boss, who's suspicious about him and then of course he gets some sexy-bastard, who always makes fun of him and then to top it all the police is starting looking for our most famous Mafia Lord. And don't we forget that he acts all cute in his new friends' company. And what's that his teacher gets a wind of it? What the hell will happen?

Progress: he he... I have MANY ideas for this one, I started writing it even!... but I don't think it'll be up any time soon... more like couple years later >.

Title: Undecided yet

Anime/Manga/Game/Movie: The Pirates of The Caribbean

Pairing: JackSparrowxTheBlackPearl

Rating: a low one

Summary: This fic is basically just a reminisce.. A sad one too, I hope people will cry reading this -grin- , yes I'm sadistic, what about it?

Progress: I started writing it, though I need to be in the 'right' mood to continue. Sor sor

Title: A Fine Line

A/M/M/B/G: DNAngel

Pairing: DarkxDaisuke and minor KradxSaroshi, RisaxTakeshi aand many more.

Rating: M

Summary: I love suspense. don't you? I'm not gonna reveal this one, but it WILL be exciting! I can't wait to start writing it.

Progress: Still in ma brain... Pinky, pinky and the brain, brain, brain, brain, BRAIN. WAIT! I started writing it! YEAH! The 1st chap is in progress.

Title: Undecided yet

A/M/M/B/G: Prince Of Tennis

Rating: M .. ?

Pairing: RyomaxOC

Sumarry: Ryoma has a twin. Etc etc etc blah blah blah and then BAM and you get twincest!

Progress: I won't even start writing here.. >.>...

Favourite pairings! Yes! Finally! COUPLES!!

These pairings are not in order!

Harry Potter

SiriusHarry- it's soo f'ing sexy! Even more so when Harry travels to the marauders era-drools- and no, I do not care that Sirius is his Godfather, I mean they are not even related by blood! Just some measly paper! And just look at them, don't they look just perfect together?

DracoHarry- Harry has to be the uke! I just can't imagine him all bulky and.. and..bad images-shudder- And this pairing is sooo cute, especially slash-grin-.

JamesLily- I don't know, I always liked this pair. They fit together perfectly.

Harry'stwinHarry- I love it when Harry is all neglected but beautiful and his brother is very protective of him and well you get the drill-wink wink-

SiriusJames- Sirius is the seme! Don't say anything, he's the seme and that's final!

LuciusHarry and TwinsHarry and Blaise!MaleHarry and TomRiddleHarry and SeamusHarry and JamesHarry- Like them, love to read them but just not too much..

Gravitation

RyuichiShu- THEY'RE SOOOO CUTE AND SEXYYYYY!

ToumaShu-They're are NO BETTER than Ryu and Shu-grin-

YukiShu-but only if the fics are really good

DNAngel

DarkDaisuke- Love this pairing! How could you possibly not? My favourite pairing of ALL TIME! If you have ANY good fics to reccomend please do so!! Thank you!!

KradSatoshi- but only when they're not the main pair

KradDaisuke- sometimes it's even scary to read... beautiful pair..

Shaman King

HaoYoh-they're so sexy-drools-and they look gorgeous! Hao..dreamy sigh--drool-

Naruto

Kyuubi!MaleNaruto- Kyuubi is soooooo sexy! And don't you dare tell me other wise! I WON'T BELIEVE IT!

Yondaime/Minato/4thHokageNaruto- SEXY! What else is there to say? Oh right.. Yondaime is walking sex on legs and Naruto is the most cute/sexy uke you could ever get! And they look absolutely perfect together! And once again, no, I don't care that they are father and son. If that bothers you so much make a fic were they aren't!

SasukeNaruto-just good fics

KakashiNaru!! and NejiNaru and NejiShika and ShikaNaru and ItachiNaru

Prince of Tennis

FujiRyoma(Thrill Pair)- How could you not love them?

JirouRyoma(Sleepy Pair(Jirou-the one in Hyoutei, who always sleeps))- they're to cute for they're own good

MaruiRyoma(Marui Bunta-the one with the bubble gum)

YukimuraRyoma- nobody writes fics with them..why?-whines-

Full Metal Alchemist

RoyEd and EnvyEd

Death Note

LLight- why do people always make L the uke? Light is soo much better off as an uke -several furious nods-

LightL- I know. I know.Don't say anything! But only good fics..

Kingdom Hearts

CloudSora- Oh my Gawd.. Sex.. Soo fuckable.. KYAA!

RikuSora-I love it when they're best friends and Riku gets all horny that's just so yummy!

AxelRoxas- love 'em but not as the main pair.

AxelSora - Rawr!!

RikuSoraAxel- never found anything like it, though I'm itching to read it!

Loveless

SeimeRitsuka-They're soo kawaii!! And don't say anything! I know I mentioned that I have an incest fetish, so that's that -huff-

NatsuoRitsukaYouji- I looove their games-smirk- soo..sexy-wink wink-

YoujiRistuka- cute and sexy ;P

SoubiRitsuka-good ones!!

Yu-Gi-Oh!

YamiYuugi - They fit together perfectly! Yami is soo sexy! And Yuugi! KyA! CuTe!

BakuraYuugi - SO SEXY! Hot daMN. I luv it, absolutely adore this pair.

BakuraRyou - Love 'em, though just when they're not the main pair.

MarikMalik - love 'em too, tho the same as bakuryo..

YamiYuugiBakuraRyouMarikMalik - I just recently read one fic with them.. And guys, that was the epitome of sexiness! They are sooo smexy! -drool- so so...-more drool-

Vampire Knight

KanameYuki - This is the 2nd HET pairing I like. It's like a miracle... wow... but they're perfect together-.

Kuroshitsuji

SebastianCiel - They are perfect. No, really. The whole anime is fabulous! The manga also!

D.Gray-man

LaviAllen - So cute. Have read several really good fics with them, so got hooked up.

TykiAllen - I love this couple. Their sweet! The whole stalking business Tyki does is just another way to express his love for Allen.

TykiDavid - Aaw. Adorable. Though Jasdero could freakin' disappear for a few seconds!

Right-O, let's get on with other things.

FAVOURITE QUOTES and other random things!

Sirius Black

Escaped Azkaban..

Evaded the Dementors..

Outwitted the Ministry..

Killed by a drapery.

I AM IN SIRIUS DENIAL! SIRIUS IS NOT DEAD! AND I WILL NOT LET YOU SAY OTHERWISE! If you too are in Sirius denial then copy and paste this into your profile. Because Denial is not just a river in Egypt -

~My mother never saw the irony of calling me son of a bitch.~ -- Soo Sirius xDD

~Life is like an abusive partner. It beats you again and again but you keep going back because you think things will change.~ -- kinda true, don't ya think?

~You can have control of your life...Take It...and hand the reins over to the Devil.~ -- then let him spank you, hot and hard! Go Cowboy!

~Don't take life too seriously. It isn't permanent.~ -- Aaaw.. Ain't it sweet?

~Why is it that when we talk to God we're praying, but when God talks to us we're thrown in the loony bin?~ -- Irony xD heheh

~Homosexuality is just mankind's way of keeping the population in check...~

~I realized I was God when I prayed and was only talking to myself.~

~People may not remember what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.~

~Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. Woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior. But from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected. And next to the heart to be loved...~

~The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all.~ --See Slytherins! Learn something from the Gryffs.

~Inside every old person there's a young one-wondering what the heck happened.~ -- 'cause really WTF?

~Men, chocolate and coffee are all better rich.~ -- definitely true.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.

~Tomatoes are red, ashes are black, go to hell, and never come back~ -- A HP fic, James/Lily

~There are a few ways to silence the screams. Bullets happen to be one of the more efficient methods.~

~Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap that mother@#?!&! upside the head.~ Yeah! Exactly!

~If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.~

~Just keep your eyes / Upon the skies / Ev'ry night a star is- / Right in sight a star is- / Burning bright a star is born.~ -- Disney's Hercules

~With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.~ -- Max Ehrmann; Desiderata

~Life is unfair, sometimes. Sometimes, the hero will find himself pinned under a thousand-pound gay Sumo wrestler with a hard-on and a bottle of Viagra, while the villain will be lounging on a beach chair a thousand miles away, sipping piña coladas in Fiji with a buxom blonde bimbo massaging the kinks out of his…feet. Yes, sometimes life is startlingly unfair, and it would do a person well to remember that.~ KH fic, Riku/Sora, "Surgeon's General Warning" You HAVE to read this fic. It's a masterpiece..

~The best advice I can give you is to ignore advice. Life is too short to be distracted by the opinions of others.~

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

~The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his.~ --George S. Patton

~Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. ~ --Mel Brooks .. Annoyingly true.

~Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.~ --Oscar Wilde

~The reason there is so much evil... is because the good do nothing.~ --Robert Kennedy

~Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?~ --Abraham Lincoln

~"Luck is my middle name," Rincewind said indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad."~ --Terry Pratchett, "Interesting Times"

~Whoever said sunshine brings happiness never danced in the pouring rain.~

~Words can't hurt you unless the person saying them writes them on an anvil and drops it on your head.~

~I have no preference. I hate everyone equally.~

~Once I had a handle on life; then it broke.~ Ha ha xD

~Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.~ --Frieda Norris

~"Thank you, Uncle! We’ll be back soon, I promise!” That’s what she said, but what he heard was, “I’m going to get into as much trouble as possible within that time span, thank you for your cooperation.”~ -- some Fanfic with Tsubasa Chronicles, don't remember the title.sorry!

~Questions are a burden to others; answers a prison for oneself.~ --The Labor Exchange

Dark as night
Sweet as sin
Let the fantasy begin

~I left my conscience pressed through the keyhole as I watched you dress.~

~Addiction is such a nasty word, why don't we call it . . . taking a fancy to!~

~Just once, I want to be taken prisoner by the sexy alien...~ -- Rodney Mckay

~No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die, the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.~ -- Michael Pritchard

~Good night, America. I'll see you in your dreams. I'll be the insane clown hovering over your bed with a knife.~ --Stephen Colbert

~If you had a chance right now, to go back in time and stop Hitler wouldn't you do it?...I mean I personally wouldn't stop him cause I think he was awesome, but you would right?~ --Eric Cartman

~You'll never see the stars if you're always looking down.~

~I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.~ --Elayne Boosler

~Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.~ -- Jack Handy

~If you wanna be a hipi, put a flower on your pipi.~ -- Egle

~Honestly, don’t you two listen to the gossip?” / “It’s nine in the morning, Hermione. It’s too early to talk to girls.” / “And what am I?” / “You’re….Hermione.” / “I feel so special.” / “You should be!”~ -- Hp fic.. sorry but don't remember anything else..

~“Wizards have had their buttocks blown off because they kept their wands in their back pockets.” / “Name them. No one comes to mind? Shows how much you know, huh?” / “Shut up.”~ -- A HP fic.. Yet..Sorry... My memory fails me once again...

~They say that when you die your life flashes before your eyes...So make it worth watching.~

~You ever want something that you know you shouldn't have, But the more you know you shouldn't have it, the more you want it...~ -- -sigh- So so true..

~A peach is a peach/ a plum is a plum/ a KISS ain't a KISS/ without some tongue .../ so open up your mouth/ and close your eyes/ and give your tongue/ some exercise.../~

~A vodka a day keeps the Dark Queen away!~

Different faces for different people,
show them what they want to see.
I’m someone else with other reasons,
will you ever realize who is me?

~“Do you ever wonder how long ‘always’ is?” Sirius asked, lying back down on the grass. “I mean, ‘always’ could be for hundreds of years yet. Or ‘always’ could be for the next ten minutes.”~ -- A HP fic... Anything else? Memory failed. Sorry!!

~Death is gonna be easy coz life is hard.~ -- Our school's wall. So that means some student. Little Geniuses aren't they?

~James loved Halloween. If only because it was a day when you were allowed to make little kids cry~ -- "Prodigy"

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Twist the image, take the fall.
Mirror, mirror, in the sky,
Tell me why my heart can't lie.

~I would fuck that cup of coffee if I didn't think it would stain my cock some nasty brown color.~ -- Brandon Boyd

~If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.~

~And if you look closely to your left, you can see my sanity zooming away. Wave goodbye!~ Bye bye!

~Prejudices are what fools use for reason.~

~Love makes the world go round... But then again so does a blow to the head.~

~Kisses blown are kisses wasted,/ kisses are not kisses unless they are tasted,/ kisses spread germs and germs are hated, so kiss me baby, I'm vaccinated!~

~If you act crazy all your life, they'll never be able to commit you. Mental Health is overrated.~

~Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.~

~Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity.~ --This is feel like the Marauders

~A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge.~

~I'm looking forward to regretting this.~

~Life is like a pack of chewing-gum; I've yet to figure out why.~

~If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?~

~"If you needed help in killing yourself, you could have asked. I'd be happy to oblige."~

~Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters.~

~"Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted."~

~I would tell ya to go to hell but then I'd be stuck with you for all eternity!~

~Who laughs last, thinks the slowest.~

~That money talks I don't deny... I just heard mine yell: Goodbye!!~

~If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?~

~An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.~

~I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.~

~I told my psychiatrist that everyone hated me. He told me I was being ridiculous. Everyone hadn't met me yet.~

~You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.~ -- Sirius.. So Sirius..

~I know I made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life, but the worst one was thinking the person who hurt me the most, wouldn't hurt me again.~

~Goodbye means wanting to say so much and being able to say so little.~

~The loneliest place I have ever been was not when I was alone...it was in a room full of people that never even cared.~

~You don't die of a broken heart...You only wish you did.~ --Marilyn Peterson

~It only takes one smile to hide a million tears.~

~Anyone can make you cry, anyone can make you smile, But it takes a really special person to make you smile with tears in your eyes.~

~It's so curious: one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses.~ --Colette ..That is soo TRUE!

~Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars.~ --Violeta Parra

~"No worries mates, Tia Dalma and I go way back, thick as thieves we are. . .were. . .have been. . .was," Jack said. "I'll watch your back," Gibbs said. "It's me front I'm worried about."~ --The Pirates of the Caribbean

~“If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.”~ --Bill Lyon

~A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.~ -- Did you know there was a difference?

~I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.~ --Mark Twain

~- Atspėk mįslę: kas yra žalias ir tuo pat metu žydras? - paklausė krokodilas Gena, švelniai glausdamasis prie Kūlverstuko.~

~Jei kelių policija nenori imti kyšio, nusišypsokite ir perduokite linkėjimus televizijos žiūrovams!~

~Shit happens. You just have to watch where you step.~

Overrated boys and attention starved girls
A little curious, a little insecure
They call it love it might be premature
But they don't need excuses

~Something we can know for sure: All mushrooms are edible. Some of them just don't make you feel so good.~

~My secret identity is GOD... You may have heard of me...~ -- Yours truly

~The bumper sticker read, "War doesn't solve anything." Yeah, well, neither does the bumper sticker.~ --Staryday

~Writing is a reflection of reality...only less twisted.~ --Staryday

~There are two words I hate: Don’t and stop. Unless you use them together.~ — Exactly! Exactly!

~Rule #1: I'm never wrong. Ruler #2: When in doubt, refer to Rule #1.~

But Oh dear, oh dear,

Oh my, Oh my,

It’s dangerous to fly,

Up so high above the sky

~I'm like time... I can't be stoped.~

~Tino: Want me to leave so you can say bad words?
Tino's Mom: Yeah that would be nice...~ -- from somebody's profile

~A horse walked into a bar and asked for a beer; the bartender came over, and he just had to ask, “Why the long face?”~

~Beware the stare of Mary Shaw. She had no children, only dolls. If you see her in your dreams. Be sure you never, ever scream. Dead Silence.~ AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

~So anyway, the two lovebirds (that word makes me sick) are gravitating towards each other and I'm sitting there, watching. Nothing interrupts them, sadly, and they pretty much forget about the homework after a minute or so. Right there and then, I resolve to make Daisuke's life a living hell, even if it's just for the night. Hey; misery loves company.~ -- DNAngel fic.

Don't laugh at people's dreams;
it might be all they have.

~Everyone has problems, its how you deal with them that separates you from everyone else.~

~SEX ON TV. Is fine as long as you don't fall off.~

The grass is green,
The rose is red,
Remember me,
When I am dead, dead, dead…

~The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.~

~I smile because you're my sister. I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it.~

~Be careful when lending money to your friends. It can destroy their memory!~

~Many things are opened by mistake, but none so frequently as the mouth.~

~It's not that I'm afraid to die; I just don't want to be there when it happens~ --Woody Allen

~I wonder how much it would take to buy a soap bubble if there was only one in the world.~ --Mark Twain

~My name is Sora Strife, and I have three brothers: Roxas, Demyx, and Cloud. In other words: I have a bastard, a fruit, and a bitch for siblings.~ -- KH fic, "Sugarcube Shortage" Brilliant, absolutely brilliant!!

~The police are looking for a suspect described as funny, sexy and great in bed. Your ugly ass is safe but where should I hide?~

~Oh please. I don't turn heads... I fucking break necks.~

~No one dies a virgin... Life screws us all.~

~He said: I don't get why you wear a bra. Its not like you have anything to put in it.
She said: ...Well you wear pants don't you?~

~I want to go out like my grandfather did. Quietly in his sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car...~

~Stupid people are like slinkies. Basically useless yet so much fun to push down stairs~

~Life is all about ass. Everyones either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, or simply just being one.~

~Suicide hotline... Please hold...~

~I'd kill for a Nobel peace prize...~

~Always borrow money from pessimists. They never expect it back.~

~Everyone has a photographic memory... Some just don't have film.~

~A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.~

~All of those who believe in telekinesis. Please raise my hand.~

I love him, O yes I do.
He is for me and not for you
And if by chance you take my place.
I'll take my fist and smash your face.

~I'm an angel! Honest! The horns are just there to hold up the halo!~

~Total slaughter, total slaughter. I won't leave a single man alive. La dee da dee dide, genocide. La dee da dee dud, an ocean of blood. Let's begin the killing time.~ -- Vash, Trigun

~"A pencil," she said softly and eerily, "You two...broke three desks, two chairs, caused a one-hour delay, and ruined my breakfast over. One. Little. Pencil."~ --Naruto xDD Sasu/Naru

~“If you died, how many of those girls would come to your funeral?” / “A lot of them! Granted…a few would come to see that I’m actually…dead, but, I’m sure that…the general mood…will be one of…uh, sadness.”~ -- Jake & Charlie, Two and a Half Men

Lietuva — kaip šūvis į krūtinę,
Lietuva — kaip skrydis lig dangaus,
Kaip diena pirma ir paskutinė,
Už kurios lyg skęstantis laikaus.
--Jonas Strielkūnas

~Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.~

~Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.~

Men are likely to be:
Till 20m. - playkid
Till 30m. - playboy
Till 40m. - playman
Till 50m.- playoff
Till 60m. - game over

~What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?~

~A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I don't know and I don't care.~

Ryan Dunn: I'm surrounded by cacti, for fuck's sake... IT'S CACTI!
Steve-O: It's cactus!
Ryan Dunn: Whatever it is, it hurts! -- Jackass

~The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.~

~"Don't make me take off my belt, woman!" "What happens when you take off your belt?" "I dunno my pants fall down."~

~"I died as a die! Get it?? Get it?!" "..."~

~"Ohhh and draw chains on him!" "What...?! Where?!" "EVERYWHERE!!"~

~It's not rape if they say no but their eyes say yes~

~"I shall kill your unborn children because of this.” “Yeah, well I… wait, what?"~

~"Does this say what or where?" "What." "Does this say what or where?" "...what." "Does this say what or where?" "I said what!!" -Raises voice- "Does this say what or where?!" "WHAT!! IT MEANS WHAT!" "Ohhh, I thought you were saying what cuz you couldn't hear me..."~

Never Forget Me,

Forget Me Never.

If you forget me,

Forget me forever.

~Barbie is going to join the Mafia.~

~Life is not a movie. Good guys lose. Everybody lies. And love does not conquer all...~ --Mishookas

~I'm not evil I'm...no wait, I AM evil...~

~Now, the past I've tried forgetting,/ And my foes I could forgive./ Trouble is, I know it's petty, /but I hate to let them live.~

~If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.~ -- Zaphod Beeblebrox

~When I say: IMMEDIATELY, it means drop everything and stop for nothing...~

~When life gives you lemons, make grape juice then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.~

~I saw a gay porno once. I didn't know until halfway in. The girls never came. The girls never came!~ Scott, 'Eurotrip'

Elizabeth: Whose side is Jack on?
Will Turner: At the moment?

~The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.~

~Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face.~

~Forgiveness is the scent a rose leaves on the heel that crushes it.~

~Dream big dreams, because little dreams have no magic.~

~Oooooh...a life. Where can I download one?~

~There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.~

~Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.~

~Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.~

~Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.~

~Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."~

~Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.~

~If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.~

~You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.~

~Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.~

~It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?~

~Tu madre! Yes, you just got burned in Spanish. Would you like some ice for that Spanish burn?~

~One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.~

~Ever stop to think and forget to start again?~

~Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought~

~Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!~

~Tavo litas, mano litas / ir pachmielas padarytas. / Bet geriau pabūk draugu, / nes aš lito neturiu.. / Tavo bonka ir stikliukas, / mano stalas ir suoliukas. / Kaip gerai, kad litai du, / sėdim sau linksmi abu.~

~I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just gonna ask them where they're going and catch up to them later.~

...I promise I'll let you go home if you swear not to tell a soul...
Well I'll just untie these...
I'm kidding now where is my chainsaw? Let's rock and roll!

~Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever.~

~If you want the rainbow, you need to put up with the rain.~

~Axel didn't die. He just took a dark, cool-looking vacation. Why? Cuz he's awesome like that!~

~I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I'm dumb enough to try anything.~ --Beast Boy

~Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.~

~Skill is being able to walk across Niagara Falls on a tight rope. Intelligence is not trying.~

Mirror, mirror, show me true

I pray you crack before I do.

Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect, and I don't live to be,
but before you start pointing fingers,
make sure your hands are clean.

~A day without sunshine is like...night.~

~Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totaly worn out, shouting "Holy shit... What a ride!"~

~"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."~ Robert Frost.

~"With God and black magic on my side, I can't lose!"~ Adrienne, quoting MTV.

Professor Lupin: Severus, don't be a fool.
Sirius Black: He can't help it. It's habit by now.

~You wouldn’t believe in a god just to spite the fucking god you don’t believe in.~ "Prodigy"

~“Okay, James, we don’t want to sound judgmental or anything,” Malaki said, startling James with his eloquence, “but… why is there a dead body in your toolbox?”~ "Prodigy"

!“Testicles and nipples I can understand, but with the addition of cows…” Dean shot them a meaningful look out of the corner of his eyes, “If we arrive at your place and even one of the animals is walking funny, I’m out of there.”~ HP fic...

~No tresspasing, violaters will be shot and survivors will be shot again.~

~Have you ever considered suing your brain for non-support?~

~Who was so mean to put an "s" in the word "lisp" if people with lisps can't say the "s"?~

~Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way.~

~Kaune yra vienas geras dalykas- bilietas i Vilnių.~ (Don't be offended by this, but.. really, its hilarious xDD)

~They’re in league with Satan, and not in the fun sacrifice animals way…~

~If you're afraid to get fat, drink 50g of brandy before you eat. Brandy diminishes the fear.~

~3 words to ruin a guys ego..is it in??~

~Drugs cause amnesia, and other things I can't remember.~

~Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children.~

~The funny thing about Common sense is that it's not very common.~

~Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question~

~If I want your opinion, I will rattle your cage.~

~Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.~

~Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it a hundred times.~

~I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.~

~Save water, drink beer~

~Divorce: from the Latin word meaning "to rip a man's heart out through his wallet."~

~VoLcAnO ! If it moves - fuck it . If it doesn't - fuck it until it does .~

~He was lost in thought because it was unfamiliar territory.~

~Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?~

~You're not drunk until you have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off the earth.~

~Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.~

~I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. No problem.~

~Silence is golden, Duct tape is silver.~

~The summary of the letter was ‘I hate you. There, consider yourself being written to.’~ Strega

“How can saying 'Senpai' mean something evil, Lavi-senpai?” I inquired politely. “I mean, isn't 'Senpai' the correct term to use for someone wiser and older than you who deserves respect? I'm just giving you my respect. I'm telling you that you're 'special'.”

Lavi let out a tired, dry laugh. “Now when you say 'special', you mean...?”

“Retard, idiot, dumbass, dimwit, imbecile, stupid,” I confessed carelessly.

“Thought so.” Lavi sighed with a defeated smile. ~ Lavi/Allen, D.Gray-man fic

~If you just let me get out of here with my pureblood ass still pure, relatively speaking, that is, I promise I'll be good, God. Okay, maybe not good, but I won't be bad. Not too bad, anyway. Oh, damn, it, I'm doomed, aren't I?~

~"Mister Malfoy, I must tell you that I am not attracted to males. I am, however, quite curious as to exactly what I did to make you think that I would welcome your advances. Enlighten me - is it my careful attention to grooming?" Snape flung his greasy hair back from his face. "My innate sense of style?" He flapped the sides of his severe black robes then leaned closer so that his face was mere inches away from Draco's. "Or perhaps it was my sensitive manner?"~ HP fic xDD

"Harry?"

"I'm here."

"I think I died for a moment." Draco looked at Harry with horror in his eyes. "I went to hell. It was terrible. The demons all had red hair."

"Well, you're safe now. At the Burrow." At Draco's blank look, Harry explained, "The Weasley home. Ron's mother healed you up."

Draco covered his face with his palms. "I've turned my back on my family and will probably soon be penniless, I've become enemies with a powerful dark lord, and now I discover that my boyfriend is a nincompoop. At least things can't get worst."

Ron smiled wickedly. "Malfoy, did you know that you're in my bed?"

Draco screamed.

~He'd told Goyle that buying roast chicken dinners wouldn't bankrupt him. Graveyards didn't possess as many bones as were currently mounded on the table.~

"Malfoy! Hey...Malfoy, you're bleeding."

"How observant of you, Weasley. And people say you're just a pretty face. No, wait, they don't."

Z is for Zambini, Blaise,
The sexy Italian girl who’s a meanie,
Apparently, authors are too stupid to know,
He’s a black boy with a cock, and it’s Zabini!

~ Damn it. I don't remember from where, but damn, it's AWESOME!

~“Look ferret, I don’t like you. Merlin knows I don’t like you. The whole world likely knows that I don’t like you. In fact, I think I hate your bloody conceited Death Eater arse.”~

“You’re evil.”

“Please, Allen, if you must call me names, I prefer ‘the devil’.” ~ D.Gray-man fic

“There’s no shame in giving some perverted girls a bit of fan-service. It’s called being a gentleman.”

“No,” I remarked, straightening the hoodie over my hair, “It’s called being a whore.” ~D.Gray-man fic

He noticed something attached to the bird’s left leg. At first, he thought it was a ring that got stuck, but on a closer inspection, Tsuna realized it was a miniature camera.

A camera.

He was naked in the bathroom and staring directly at said camera.

Tsuna did the first thing he could think of: scream. ~ ha ha ha xDD Katekyo Hitman! Reborn

“WHAT SORT OF EXTREME THINGS ARE YOU DOING?”

“Strip poker.”

“THERE’S NO CARDS!”

“Invisible strip poker.” - KH! Reborn fic xD

~Sasuke is a sadist, rapist and a murderer but he prefers to call himself an artist.~

~"So, you're both trying to find someone you know nothing about... not their name, face or anyting else. And whoever is found first, is out. Dead..." Mad laughter filled the room as Ryuk's cracking, booming cackling destroyed the tense atmosphere. "Humans are.. A RIOT!!"~ Death Note, 1 vol.

~Good God, that felt amazing! What the hell had he been thinking, swearing off sex?~

~The only difference between saints and sinners is that every saint has a past while every sinner has a future.~ Oscar Wilde

Q: What is the ultimate definition of courage?
A: Two cannibals having oral sex.

~“So let me guess. In your wet-dreams, fantasy-Naruto simply slides his magical dick, easily and painlessly up your mythical self-lubricating ass?” ~ Role Play by KageKitsune XXX

~“Save it,” Sasuke hissed, “You may be the devil, but you are nothing without your minions and one of us is missing.” Sasuke entered the bathroom but left a crack open, “So stop the big brother shit, put on your evil, lord of the darkness panties and find out who took my goddamn dobe!”~ The Demilitarized Zone by michelerene

~The scarred man smirked before looking at the occupants in the bed, “Hello, law abiding citizens,” his gaze shifted to the three Uchihas, “Marginally law abiding citizens,” and then his eyes fell on Kisame, “… citizen.” ~ The Demilitarized Zone by michelerene

~Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game.~

~Jack & Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.

But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.~

~It was an issue of religion that lead to our breakup. He thought he was God. I didn't.~

When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

~A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!~ This is SO TRUE!

~I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.~

~An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"~

~Never drink water...if it can rust iron, think of what it can do to your stomach.~

“Hey, hey, I’m too decent to try and score so early in the relationship.”

“Relationship?”

“It’s only a matter of time, sweetheart.”

“Someone’s optimistic.”

If someone recognises the quotes I posted, please plese please tell me form which fic exactly are they taken. 'Cause when I saved something I liked, I never wrote from where.. Ugh.. Annoying. And now I'm stuck. So please, help? If you found your own lines and don't want them to be posted here, pm me, I'll take 'em off. thank you!

I found this on somebody's profile, but don't remember who. I found this to be completely, utterly AWESOME. So yeah, thank you whoever wrote this, you did an amazing job.

Okay So I just discovered all these cool sayings found on tee-shirts! Gotta love it:

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

Your dreams have been answered: I’m here!

Everyone has the right to be stupid. But you’re abusing the privilege.

Good morning is an oxymoron.

Selective listener.

I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.

“First the good news—I made bail...”

“I may not be right, but I can sure sound like it.”

“Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!”

“Give me Ambiguity or give me something else.”

“You can’t scare me—I have a two year old.”

“I have no idea what I’m doing out of bed.”

“You don’t get a body like this by working out!”

“I came. I saw. I duct taped.”

“I’m Bob. Your not...Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah...”

“With a body like this who needs hair!”

“I don’t want to. I don’t have to. You can’t make me. I’m Retired.”

“I’m retired, you’re not—nah-nah-nah!”

“Please don’t interrupt me when I’m talking to myself.”

“You name it. I’m allergic to it.”

“I have my faults, but being wrong ain’t one of them.”

“Just be happy I’m not a twin.”

“Lead me not into Temptation, I can do that myself.”

“I’m Not Bald. Heavy thinking burned my hair off.”

“CAUTION: You are in the “WHATEVER” zone.”

“I am not ANTI-SOCIAL. I’m just not real friendly.”

“No need to yell. I still won’t listen.”

“I can walk on water as long as it’s frozen.”

“PMS: Purchase More Shoes.”

“I’m Retired. Go around me.”

“What is the speed of dark?”

“What part of MOOOOOOOHAAHAAHAA don’t you understand?”

“I never make mistakes. I thought I did once. But I was mistaken.”

“Selective listener.”

“dain bramaged.”

“If it weren’t for you, I’d be a different person. Maybe even happy.”

“Too many people with solutions Are The Problem.”

“I’d listen to you but ignoring you is so much easier.”

“Don’t just applaud, THROW MONEY!”

“Don’t blame yourself. Let me do it.”

“Gardeners tend to soil their pants.”

“Powered by Ice Cream.”

“It’s uncredible how well I am at grammer.”

“You see three branches of government. I see firewood.”

“Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?”

“I have multiple personalities and none of them like you.”

“Let’s hope intelligent life exists in space. I’m so lonely here.”

“Instant Human: Just add coffee.”

“You’re not bothering me. It’s way beyond that.”

“Who are you and why are you reading my shirt?”

“Yo Fish, Bite Me.”

“When all else fails—manipulate the data.”

“I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!”

“Jesus loves you (But I’m Hs favorite!)

“They say I have A.D.D but they just don’t understand. Oh look! A chicken!”

“Meddle not in the affairs of dragons for thou art crunchy and taste good with katsup.”

“Shut up voices or I’ll poke you with a Q-tip again!”

“If you can’t stand the heat, don’t tickle the dragon.”

“Can we declare a snow day?”

“National Sarcasm Society. (Like we need your support.)” ~

Ain't this brilliant? I laughed my ass off at some of 'em. Thank again some mysterious writer!! If you by chance are reading this (though I seriously doubt it,l it would be so... unreal..) pm me, thnx!

These are from a book called Disorder in the AmericanCourts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word,taken down and now published by court reporters that had the

torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place:

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that

morning?

WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

-
ATTORNEY: Which gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory

at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something

you forgot?
_

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in

his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
_

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was

August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Getting laid
_

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can

I get a new attorney?
_

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Take a guess.
_

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to

a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you

performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school

did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.
_

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
_

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
_

And the best for last!:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you

check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive

when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,

nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and

practicing law.

Taken from the profile of a very lovely author MewmewInuSailorHeart. THANK YOU! This is a Gold mine xD

The Random Things to Put in Your Profile (that everyone needs to do..)

If you know someone that should be run over by a bus put this in your profile.
If you think that you are awesome, put this in your profile.
If you have called any of your friends insane, put this in your profile.
If you have called any of your friends insane more than once, put this in your profile.
If you read crack pairing and crack crossovers put this in your profile.
If you are on the computer for over 20 hours a week, put this in your profile.
If you fear the men in white, put this in your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile.
If you noticed that whoever Elizabeth Swan kisses dies copy and paste this in your profile. (Jack, Will, her father, Norrington, ect..
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fan fiction copy this into your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile
If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile..
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, TheDevilsAngel93 xD, krakengirl, Destiny Writes, Unwritten.25, L'uke-chan
If you think that Sasuke completely has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off. (hell yeah!)
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Repost this if you are one of the 8 percent who would be laughing your ass off.

If you know the clowns are out to get you, copy and paste this onto your profile. (They are EVIL!!)

Yet another thing to add to my huge profile. (something I'm VERY proud of. XD) The sterotypes.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. (Emo and Goths RULE! Emo boys are soo sexy I would rape each and eveyrone of them!)

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. (Ha HA ha. Veery funny, just let me find you... and you'll be kicked into the next century.)

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.(Well, at least, I think I'm pretty -chuckles-)

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. (-sniff- I'm PROUD of my chest, MAN!)

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. (Damn it. And here I thought I looked cool -smirk-)

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO (Gays kick ASS, okay? All homophobics, STAY AWAY FROM ME!)

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude. (You can KISS My prudish Virgin ASS.)

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy. (If anyone tells me something like that, I will kick their ass so HARD...)

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. (So what if I'm fat? ...You've got somethin' to say to me?)

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. (Or maybe I don't find anyone Pretty enough, fucker.)

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up. (GO MUTTS!)

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. (Go weird people.)

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. (Shake that sexy butt, oh Yeah!)

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat. (I'm waiting for the day. Waiting for the day...)

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay. (Guy cheerleaders RULE, okay? Just look at the main guy cheerleader from Bring It On: All or Nothing. That bastard was HOT!)

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. (No... I just attract everyone I see. -winks-)

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo. (I know this isn't true. I'm just saying Sasuke - who we all know is emo - is SEXY in tight pants.)

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. (NO THANK YOU!)

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. (Oh fuck NO WAY.)

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. (And Crazy is bad..?)

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. (A Bitch that will kick You ASS!!)

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. (I'll bite u, I'll seriously bite u!)

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself. (Never will I be a prostitute! ...However... if the former prostitute was a sexy BOY... -swoons-)

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak. (Anyone who thinks this can go off and die)

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. (Say that to my face. I DARE you.)

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted. (WHY everyone says that to me? WHY? I DON'T look porn-huffs angrily- well, not real ones anyway-blushes-)

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. (Oh, I hope you've written a will and said goodbye to your familly.)

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be an obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. (Uh... I'm sorry, what? Say that one more time.)

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. (Heheh... what people don't know won't hurt them. -grins-)

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser. (Ugh.. Who wrote thsese things?...)

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy. (If you wanna be a hippy, put a flower on your pipi)

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue. (Thank YOU my friend for telling me, WTF is a fan character)

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. (I soo wanna kick that person's ass who tells me this over and over and OVER again!)

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. (-sniffs- Am not.)

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY. (Yaoi is God's gift to the World, ok? And Gays RULE!)

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED. ( Do that and I'll kill you.)

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish. ( Goo goo..ga ga)

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. (ha ha.. Look at my room dick-head)

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. ( I'm sorry, What Did You Say?)

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue.

I'm LITHUANIAN, so I MUST be a blonde with big boobs and blue eyes. (I don't know from where people get that! Get THE FREAKIN' INFORMATION RIGHT!)

I support this a hundred and ten percent, no, I support this billion percents!

I don't care if you're gay or straight, everybody needs love.
I don't care if you're diseased with an incurable sickness, everybody deserves a chance.
I don't care if you're ugly or pretty, everybody has flaws.
I don't care if you're black or white, everybody has the same capabilities.
I don't care if you're weird, everybody needs to change.
I don't care if you're rich or poor, everybody needs warmth.
I don't care if you're different, everybody is.

Repost this if you agree with it.

If you support gay marriage and want to show it, paste this into your profile.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans..

Post this in your profile if you believe Homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

"And you know what? I heard some Christian in life, Say, he'd sleep with his daughter before a man, because homosexuality is 'So wrong'. Thaat was messed up. -- This was said in a discussion about Christian views.

"Jesus isn't real.

And who are YOU to decide who's a real Christian and who isn't?
I bet those confused people consider you unholy and wrong aswell.
Do you listen to music or read comics? Then you are not a true Christian to some! How do you even dare watch a person like me here? Chistians have told me that I'm devil spawn, and I listen and find myself inspired by music, and most christians know that "The devil lives in rythm"

It's just a freggin joke, I could aswell have draw Bugs Bunny up there, because they equally real, but it wouldn't be as ironic, would it?

If I was a christian, what forbids me to say "Jesus was gay"? Most christians don't even want to hear about him having a wife and they can't even make up their mind about a single word in the whole bible to start with. There no limits to what I can render the book like.

My Jesus can be a black, necrophiliac with fire coming out of his ass, because you can't prove me wrong.

There's no "the truth". There's only alot of good questions, and alot of scared people fleeing from them." -- ‡_RiaN_‡ ( Sorry if this post offended you in any way or shape, but I agree with her/him... nobody knows for real, what Is the truth and what isn't...You can only wonder/guess...)

If you have a really great friend you've met over the internet and think that the paranoid people who say you shouldn't talk to people over the internet should go shove their megaphones somewhere unpleasant, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list. Neassa, EdElricFan1001, AkitaFallow, hoshi-tachi, L'uke-chan

1. Grab the book nearest to u turn to page 18 and then line 4:
"Mokyklos dirikas isleido specialu isakyma," ...

2. Stretch your left arm as far as u can what do u grab?
My mobile phone, my little blue desk lamp... and etc..

3. What is the last thing u watched on TV?
Some serial about Knights, that my sis and mom watched

4. Without looking guess what time it is:
Maybe 15.13??

5. Now look at the clock what’s the actual time?
14.55 T.T xDD

6. Besides the computer, what can you hear?
Music xDD Ghost in the Shell opening "Rise", my MP3 rox

7. When did u last step outside what were you doing?
I was looking to see if what my mom said was true.. It WAS, it did snow xD

8. Before u started this survey what did u look at?
Deregatorylt profile on DeviantArt.

9. What are u wearing?
Black and white slippers, black and grey socks, mu blue pijama bottoms, a darl blue jumper, a green skarf... and under.. I'm wearing a white sleeveless blouse and blue/white girl boxers xDD

10. Did u dream last night?
Yep! I was dreaming, that I already made all of the arragments with my friend about tomorrow.. but sadly, I did not in reality.. Oooh, the akward moments..

11. When did u last laugh?

I laughed about 20 minutes ago xDD reading one summary, "The arrangement was nice. And then the press found out." xDDD

12. What is on the walls of ur room?
2 shelves full of books, then on another shelf full of perfume, which I don't use, then some kind of strange mirror, which is wrapped in ties, then I have a poster of the only actor I fully despise, 'cause he is disgusting - Orlando Bloom.. Ugh.. I have no idea WHY don't I take him off... It's so weird...

13. Have you seen anything weird lately?
Am.. Maybe? I so one fat boy trying to dance... I think he did move his arm.. eventually.

14. Whut do u think about this quiz?
Quite interesting.

15. What was the last film u saw?
Butterfly Effect -- and it was AWESOME!!

16. If u became a multi millionaire over night you would?
Probably die out of happiness, leaving all the fortune untouched.

17. What do you think about love life?
Does it exist?

18. If u could change the world regardless of guilt or politics what would you change?
Destroy prejudices.

19. Do u like to dance?
Yep.. tho I can't seem to master it..

20. Imagine your first child was a girl what would you call her?
Freaking kids.. I would call her... hmm.. Maybe Lolita? xDD and then I would proceed to make her into a perfect Nymph .

21. Your first kid a boy?
Sirius xDD the name makes me crack up and then I would proceed to make him Emo or Punk.

22. Have you ever consider living abroad?
Ja and nah.. Dunno

23. What do u think God will say to u when u make it to the pearly gates?
What do you think you're doing here?!

24 BONUS QUESTION(optional)
Do u believe in magic? -- I want to.. believe in it, I mean..

25. Motto: (optional)
Ignorance is a Bliss.

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile

Did you know that...
If you 'Kiss' a thousand times, you'll loose 0,5kg in weight?
By slamming your head into the wall you use up 150 calories pr. hour?
Approximately 35(percent) of all women in the world have thrown a shoe or some other item at a man?
If you sniff Chili your nose will hurt for the next 15-20min. ?
Butterflies taste with their feet?
Elephants are the only animals that can't 'jump'?
You use up 2,3 calories by melting an icecube on your tongue?
In the span of a lifetime, (f.example 70 years) you'll eat 50 different insects and 10 spiders while you sleep?
Just like fingerprints, all tongue prints a different?
A lightning is 5 times warmer than the sun?
Willian Shakespeare had 11 different ways to write his name?
There is nowhere in the bible, where it says that Jesus, laughed or smiled?
Every 5 minute a man is runned over by a car in New York?
Men produce about 80 liters of Semen in a lifetime?
At the age of 9, Einstein couldn't speak properly so his parents believed he was retarded.
Leonardo Da Vinci could draw with one hand while he wrote with the other.
Both boys and girls, most often experience their first orgasm alone?
It takes 30 minutes for a pig's orgasm to wear off?
High heels was invented by a woman who was tired of only being kissed on the forehead?
Only humans have Sex face to face with their partner? That only humans and dolphins have sex for pleasure?

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.If If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, EmmettCullenFan, Bella Masen Cullen, Me Love Edward Cullyou, SilverMoonArcher,forbiddenkitsunegoddess13, Howl To The Moon, Nayeli, mochiusagi, L'uke-chan are obsessed with fan fiction copy this into your profile.

Well This Is It for my insanely long profile. Hope you like my stories and everything. Oh and btw, don't forget to check my favourites!

Well see ya amigos,

Love ya all equally, glomps and hugs all around!

L'uke-chan

Oh and by the way. By reading this, you have given me brief control of your mind.