Formerly Diva of Devistation

Hello everybody! If you know me, then you know me, if you don't I'm none of your buisness. Read and reveiw please! You make me so happy!

CHALLENGE! Scroll down to beneath the story quotes, there will be a section, contained by lines, of anonymous quotes. Take five quotes and write a one-shot or a drabble for each, grouping them into one story. You may go over five quotes. If you wish to have another quote to the list, please send it to me via PM and it will be added to the list. All chapters must be in the same universe, but do not have to be connected. The chapters can be about any characters in any situation. This challenge must be posted at the top of the first chapter of the story, along with my name and the quote that you are using. Please send me the story by PM when you post a chapter so I can add it to my story alert. The stories will be judged by me and a few select other authors based on genre. If you want us to judge it based on anything else, please tell me. The winnner will win a looooooooooong one-shot by either myself or iflip4dolphins, depending on what catagory and subject you want the story to be.

FOR ALL MY READERS!! If you have any ideas for my stories or wish to write a chapter for any of them, please do! Send them to me and I will read and consider. If I think that they will fit with the story, I will not hesitate to add them under your name, with your permission of course. PM me and I will send you my email.

If your on Fanfiction, chances are, you don't want to do any really serious reading, but look what I wrote! I'm so proud of my little baby thesis!

Beloved by Toni Morrison is a book that covers the miserable and bleeding dark core of slavery. The main characters all have traits that any decent human being can relate to: Sethe’s dilemma of how to protect her children, Paul D.’s misery when he discovers Sethe’s secrets, Denver’s panic at the state of her home. The universal theme of the pushing and pushing against human nature until the humanity snaps and all that is left is a raw shell of instinct, pushing to get away, to remain, to protect. Mothers, fathers and children alike can read this book with a grave heart and mind because they know, they relate, and in their minds, they cry.

... Serious and frightening book, let me tell you.

Anyway, on to quotes from my favorite stories!

Shame on him. Didn’t he know how many silver bullets and exorcisms in the year 1990 it had taken to make the eighties stay dead?- Any Way You Want It by Tierfal

He just faced the real world yesterday, didn't that mean he got a day off?- Al Dente BY SasuNaruJunkie

Raito stared, appalled at the most pathetic expression he’d ever seen on the face of the master of pathetic expressions. 'How does he do that? It’s those eyes. His eyes are so big. He looks like fucking Bambi after someone nuked the forest and turned the cute bunnies into rabbit jam!' Then he became aware that Namikawa was also gawking, eyes wide, mouth half-open, obviously stricken with total horror at the sight of a grown man’s descent into the seventh hell of Kawaii.

-Night and Day BY MiaoShou

Genius my muscular butt! I’m an idiot.- Kakashi thinking about Iruka

Slap him in a robe, give him a staff and call the man Moses- Iruka thinking about Kakashi

"You strike me more as the ‘wham-bam thanks now scram’ type than a snuggler."- Iruka to Kakashi

"The boring, plain, scarred, poor orphanage teacher who has had to be rescued by the dashing, tall, muscled, gorgeous millionaire with a weird haircut. It’s like something from a B-grade movie or the mental workings of a mildly psychotic internet author. Why would we ever meet, let alone be in the situation where someone like you would be giving someone like me a piggy-back ride?” -Iruka to Kakashi

It is recommended that if you suffer from a weak heart or amenia you consult your doctor before reading any further. It is also recommended that you remove all underwear to reduce the risk of burns from spontaneous combustion. As always, remove any electronic or easily water damaged items from the ‘Drool Zone’ and have a box of tissues standing by.

-Stranger Situations BY DarkAuroran

“Save it,” Sasuke hissed, “You may be the devil, but you are nothing without your minions and one of us is missing.” Sasuke entered the bathroom but left a crack open, “So stop the big brother shit, put on your evil, lord of the darkness panties and find out who took my goddamn dobe!”

“I don’t care what he is doing. One shouldn’t question the devil…” Naruto growled and wrapped the warm blankets around himself, burrowing into the bed, “But I plan to ignore him until he goes away.”

“Kill whoever it is… I’ll help you bury the body later,”

The scarred man smirked before looking at the occupants in the bed, “Hello, law abiding citizens,” his gaze shifted to the three Uchihas, “Marginally law abiding citizens,” and then his eyes fell on Kisame, “… citizen.”

“Ah, shucks,” The tall man held his heart, “I think I might tear up.”

- The Demilitarized Zone BY michelerene

“…you want me to vacate Hidan from his position as your partner, because you believe he is taking advantage of your inherent weakness for bargains by compelling you to dine at a particular low-price restaurant, and has thus, inadvertently, devised a plot to slowly, but surely, kill you via supposedly lethal doses of masala dosa and chili chutney.”

Check my pulse, you fucking idiot! Kakuzu thought furiously, trying to move his fingers. Stop staring and check it! . . . Oh, good, Kakuzu thought in faint relief. He’s getting help. . . . ( to Leader over the phone) “Yeah, it’s Hidan. Uh, Kakuzu’s dead.”

It may have been an allergic reaction, or it might have had something to do with the fact that the spice elevated his blood pressure through the roof. Whatever it was, it had compelled all five of Kakuzu’s hearts to groan “fuck this” at the same time and simultaneously crap out.

Boys/ Girls – bring your own toilet paper

-Masala Dosa BY firefly (Whose stories I love. All of them.)

“Dude, what the hell are we gonna do about disguises? Well, you’re pretty girly-looking. We could probably get away with dressing you as one of the bridesmaids, then you could seduce the groom and lure him into a closet and—”

“Say another word and I’ll cut out your larynx.”

“You just killed a fucking priest. I knew you were going to hell before, but goddamn, you’ve got reservations and a first-class ticket now.”

“I didn’t kill him,” Itachi said shortly. “He’s sleeping in a dumpster. Put these on, and take these.”

“Such a waste, a handsome man such as yourself adhering to the strict rules of priesthood,” another woman purred, putting a hand on his arm.

“It’s not that hard, seriously,” he managed to get out, worming his way out of her grip.

“Who gives this woman in marriage to this man?” Hidan asked miserably.

The short, bald man from before stepped forward, and Hidan made a face.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” he muttered under his breath, before continuing.

“Maybe I should give him mouth to mouth?” the bride’s mother suggested.

Hidan’s eyes flew open.

“Oh, never mind! I’m alive, I’m alive! God’s saying it’s not my time and I still have things to do and—dammit, bitch, get away from me!”

-Piano Man and Church Boy BY firefly

If you can read this I’ve lost my trailer

I have a life, it's in storage. - iflip4 dolphins

I'm fluent in moron, that's why I can talk to you!

I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow

Always try to be modest and proud of it!

Wrinkled was not one of the things that I wanted to be when I grew up…

When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out

You! Out of the gene pool!

Man cannot live on bread alone… unless he’s in a cage and that’s all you feed him

Come to the dark side we have cookies

It's mind over matter I don't mind because you don't matter.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how in seven hells you did it

Stupidity kills, unfortunately not fast enough

Every day I think people can't get any stupider. Every day, I'm proven horribly wrong

There's nothing that can't be fixed with: duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over

A friend try’s to help you when you get hurt, a true friends sits there laughing their --off saying, 'Dude, you're an idiot!'

When I have a kid I'm gonna put him in one of those strollers for twins and then run around the mall looking frantic.

When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and whack them on the head, so why overexert yourself?

I get plenty of exercise: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

"Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss."—Hitch hikers guide to the galaxy

Faster than a rabid squirrel on coffee

Despite the rising costs of living, it remains a popular activity.

Where in the nursery rhymes does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

Last night I was lying in bed, looking at the stars. Then I wondered, WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING?

I tried to sniff coke...but the ice cubes got stuck up my nose...

If it's tourist season then why can't we shoot them?

Whoever said nothing was impossible has obviously never tried slamming a revolving door

Don’t worry, it’s just blood.

- but on the other hand, I have different fingers

Meddle ye not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and good with ketchup.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'

I'd kill for a Nobel peace prize.

I’m half Goth, half goofball.

Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.

I think, therefore i am, or at least i think i'm thinking, so i might possibly be

Your hiccups shall not cease, you will not be able to breath properly, and then you will die

why do we kill people, who kill people, to show people that killing is wrong?

Heroes went for the monster's heart, but monsters go for the neck

Its uncanny how many problems can be solved with duck tape

A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.

Well think about it. If I actually followed the plan, I'd have little chance to half ass things later on. Improvisation is key.

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.

If life gives you lemons, why make lemonade? Squeeze out the juice instead and spray it into people's eyes. It keeps away stalkers.

You can't spell slaughter without laughter.

Boldly Going Nowhere

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they pass by!

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

What are you smoking and why aren’t you sharing?

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

Don't get high on Life; cereal hurts when you put it up your nose.

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge.

If swimming is so good for your figure, then explain whales!

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

Those who think they know everything annoy those of us that do.

“Oslo! I have a spoon from there!” Amanda

“It’s only bad if you know what you’re doing!” Miranda

“My cat is not a morning person, or an evening person, in fact he’s not a person at all!” Tyler

“Can you bludgeon someone to death with a pillow? Yes? Oh No.” Tyler

I’ll paint a little tree, and then a mountain… and then a, wait why isn’t it working! I can’t paint a Jew? Agh! Vicken Sie! I kill all the Jews! Mr. Ridenour, during an amusing bout where he tried to teach us history, using these lines as an explanation as for just why Hitler hated Jews, acted this out. It was nothing against them personally, he just couldn’t paint them.

“I’m a little Tea Pot, Short and Stout!” Mr. Argotsinger and No WAY am I explaining this one!

"Close your eyes and think it's a bad dream. That's how I get by."- Jack Sparrow

Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer. - - David Acfield

This game (Marco Polo) takes its name from a great Italian explorer who was famous for making discoveries by aimlessly wading around in thigh-level water with his eyes closed, wildly clutching at the air and calling out his own first name. Perhaps his most important discovery was made when he finally opened his eyes and discovered that he no longer had any friends. - - Dean Camp