FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| MochaCocaFan |
Author has written 29 stories for Yu-Gi-Oh, Naruto, Harry Potter, Hairspray, Batman, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Misc. Anime/Manga, Death Note, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and House, M.D.. IMPORTANT NOTICE: I have a challenge to all Death Note writers! Write a romance fic with Harry Potter creatures as one or more of the main characters. Creatures to use: veelas, vampires, werewolves, banshees and any other. Hello, randomized human. I am an artistic, creative, insane, energetic, angsty poet/author who enjoys horror, parody/satire/irony, humor, spiritual, and sci-fi. You can find me wandering about in Bones, House, MD, Fullmetal Alchemist, King Arthur, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Inuyasha, Heroes, Lord of The Rings, Fringe, Akagami no Shirayukihime, Dear School Gang Leader, Hakoiri Devil Princess, Yurara, Death Note, Star Wars, Batman, Twilight, Naruto, Harry Potter, Fruits Basket, Hairspray, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Stargate: Atlantis, Farscape and Yuugiou fandoms, though my obsessions will inevitably change. IMPORTANT NOTICE: If, for any reason, you want to see good writing then I STRONGLY advise you to check out my favorite authors/stories. There is so much there you'll be entertained for a LONG time! Moving on from my reminiscences, I present to you... MY INFORMATION! Name: Malachinkah or Mokie as the situation permits. Likes: Anime, Itachi, writing, Emilie Autumn, drawing, poetry (both reading & writing it), Marilyn Manson's music, forensics and anatomy, rock, metal, soul, punk, New Age, reading, Edgar A. Poe (because that's just how he spells his name), horror, humor, satire/irony/parody, art, photography, math, science, social studies, psychology, happy couples, Linkin Park, reviews, small children, babies, my FictionPress account- UtterWeirdo-, vampires, books, Stephanie Meyer's The Host, Harry Potter, Yuugiou, opals, garnets, black clothes, red, purple, and silver. Dislikes: Homework, sexism, homophobia, racism, prejudice, stupidity, too many people, crowds, seeing people in pain, mysteries, most TV, rap, pop & funk. In FanFiction, there a super-special-awesome pairings, ones simply not my cup of tea, and ones that should simply never happen. Stories Glare of a Hacker: Matt hates L. How could you not hate a nameless, faceless letter that takes more of your lover than you ever could? I agree wholeheartedly with the notion that Matt loves L not. Are then feelings mutual? I don't know- but I know that I love the song "Gentlemen Aren't Nice" at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcANKEzSGKI&feature=related. Nox Noctis Fugo: The chase of the night. Succubi, beautiful virgin seductresses. Vampires, deadly possessive beasts. One is chased, the other is chasing. Who are they? Why are they here? A bargain made in the depths of hell isn't easily undone, particularly involving love. Shiver in time to the beat of Garbage's "Bleed Like Me" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR6txwvmWZM). The Tigress And The Panther: Do you like OCs when they're done well? Do you enjoy House, MD? Do you want to kill me with a chainsaw? If the answers to any of these questions are yes, read my fic while listening to Sigur Ros' "Saeglopur" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yjurf5d6X0). Prophecy Couple: Dawn Summers, the mythical Key. Based off an original prophecy, this is the saga of the Queen of the Night and the Key, a vampire and a human, the sister of the Slayer and the sister of King of the Made. Darkly, dryly amusing, don't read if you're homophobic. A companion to watch with would be Skillet's 'Whispers In The Dark' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTLVBq1xIko). Read and review. Irony At Its Thinnest: Dark irony is intensly disturbing at worst, cynically amusing at best. This is off the charts in terms of darkness, disturbia factor, and relation to Juliana Hatfield's song 'Feed Me' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_AETe_sHgQ). Read, review and stare in horror. I'm waiting. One Click Away From Heaven: Why did I write this? Why? Was it mad artistic inspiration by Marilyn Manson's adaptation of 'Personal Jesus' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3G2BQVrcOs&feature=related)? Was it a shameless mockery of Light Imagay? Was it simply boredom? I don't know, but I want you to try and figure out! When I Am Queen: Mello and Matt are by far the best characters on Death Note, and in honor of their seriously fucking awesomeness, I have created this fic and sincerely recommend Jack Off Jill's song 'When I Am Queen' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nS8Qi2x8KTU) as listening material. Knowledge Aquired: In honor of the every Yuugiou fangirl's dream angsty British albino boy, I have attempted to both use a little Japanese right- and what a victory that may be if I succeed- and respond to a rather dark email with the subject called 'you know you're a cutter when...'. Beware- this is not for those without cast-iron stomachs, and neither is the brilliant 'Hollow Like My Soul' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYV5lVEw5Hk&feature=related) by Emilie Autumn. Read at your discretion! Deleted Scenes: A clip show of one of my favorite Dear High School Gang Leader pairings; Seshun and Yuuni. Rather platonic and fluffy (GASP!) but still good to go to the beat of 'Lay All Your Love On Me' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOjaJrgwzwA&feature=related) Yes please bishies! Sanguinary Snow: My first, possibly passable, probably pitiful attempt at humor, wit, vampires and nameless female characters. Listening to (and watching) Ricky Martin's 'Livin' La Vida Loca' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmwzEhwScug) does diffuse the laughable piece of most-likely crap. I Kissed The Joker And I Liked It: Harley's kissed her Puddin' plenty of times, and loves him beyond measure. Deciding to express herself musically per inscrution in creative therapy whilst at Arkham, she writes this poem. For obvious reasons, the song 'Honey Honey' with Amanda Seyfried lyrics (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P3SWl0EAAs&feature=related) fits far better than the song it's inspired by. Nature's Ultimate Cruelty: Silver-haired, crazy, two-faced, sociopathic, manipulate Kabuto has simple truths of his existence. The wonderfully, sickeningly talented Emilie Autumn's "I Know Where You Sleep" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KkVhxO9jaI&feature=related) fits so perfectly, it's difficult to know if she actually wrote it after him or not. Gomenasai Karasu: If you're in the mood for gory angst, angry Akito, insane OC's and a happy ending- gasp!- for once in your decidedly odd lifetime, walk this walk, but don't forget to listen to your J-emo tour guide: TATU's Gomenasai (check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yU1jXDYayqI). Beware front-row spectators- this is a code-red angst splash zone! Cage Full Of Apes: The only 'everyone is nuts and in the funny farm' Hairspray story out there, to my knowledge. I am determined to fill this gap and also recommend the absolutely awesome 'Girl Next Door' by Saving Jane at http://youtube.com/watch?v=qUCw7yUn_N4. Have fun and remember the caramel popcorn! Mercy For The Addict: Shisui is so often ignored it's not even funny. The idea he might have had his own demons never floats to the surface or even lurks in the murky depths of the minds of many. I have however a very twisted mind and this is what I came up with at 2 AM last morning, after I drew a picture of him crying. I wasn't even conscious, and you won't be either once you've heard 'Breaking The Habit' by Linkin Park @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ezSGqbuo0g. Vengeance Is Sweet: Hinata isn't the innocent wallflower everyone expects. It's always the quiet ones that snap the most violently, and this time, the snap hurts more than usual. 'Paper Bag' -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB4Al0l6Cuo- by Fiona Apple smoothly compliments the emptiness of the Hyuugas, and the destruction of that emptiness. Hate: I am SO sick of the overload of pansy!Sasuke. Look, I love humanely cowardice more than what is sane, but there is such a thing as TMC (too much crap). Here, I'm trying to portray him in a different light, where he's angry and rude and uncaring. Listen to Marilyn Manson's 'This Is The New Shit' at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4IVxpulRf8 to really get a good mood here. Sweet Crimson: Let's face it here people, Hidan is a bloodthirsty sadomasochistic psychopath, and it's about time someone tried to be accurate, disturbing and graphic in a fic describing him. Best listen to 'Ecstasy' by ATB- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVByGs573OU - to really feel the emotion. Want This, Not That!: Money is the green crap our imbecilic world runs on, and Hidan shares my feelings about the petty Kakuzu. 'Money, Money, Money' by At Vance- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BY9HclhwB-8 - is rather appropriate for this. Addiction Conquers Nothing: Either authors ignore or hate Karin. I don't do either. This is based off my theory that since Karin has incredible chakra-sensing abilities and is surrounded by experimental drugs all the time, she's an addict. 'Just Like a Pill' by P!nk -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHpK-ejSfBo - will put you in the mood for this one. Dry Scales Do Comfort Prisoners: I have always wondered how Kimimaro isn't creeped out by snakes, so I came up with this. Ashlee Simpson's 'Giving It All Away' -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fl_relMpog - is utterly perfect for this oneshot. Lament to Kunoichi Lost Unto The Snow: Tenten isn't even a runner-up for a Naruto popularity contest, but a possible scenario for her death is never explored. Well not anymore! Check out this AMV and complementary song to this story at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UROPuhdkeiY&feature=related. Hogwarts And The Bloodied Kanji Carrier: When Sasuke, Shino and Gaara are all guys but Neji's gone and done a gender-bender, you can't get much more insane than at the famous Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 'United States of Whatever'- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6homYfreS4&feature=user - is paramount to chapter 1, and 'Hollaback Girl' -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AU-kAnB24I&feature=related - reigns free in chapter two. A Different Sort of Steak: If you're looking for crazy, sexy cannibals and the utter stupidity of the law enforcement officials then you're at the right place. Get settled in smoothly with 'Dirty Little Secret' at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHd3ck6fHBw. Creeping Up On You: The Seven Deadly Sins exist in us all, as we are flawed some. But the cast of Yuugiou is flawed more. Linkin Park's 'Papercut' -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciopEDtxgn8 - fits so well it's as freakish as the fic itself. Just Before I Go: Humans are social creatures with a tendency to confess their lives as death raises the scythe, prepping for the last slash. Kujaku Mai is no exception. 'Faint' -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loRhmTPWiG8 - will have you sobbing in wonder why this isn't a songfic by the end- damn you FF.NET admin! The Thousands Of Ways Sakura Haruno DIES: Sakura deserves to die, and here is a haven for those seeking to fantasize the ending of her pathetic, annoying life. Ozzy Osbourne is our tour guide to this immature, morbid piece with his famous 'I Don't Want To Stop'- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfEyZIv-VEs&feature=related - (ignore the thinspo though; you can't find the song anywhere else). Life After Him: Serenity isn't an angel, she's Lilith, the wife of Satan himself. When her beloved Marik is destroyed, what will she do? 'Numb' -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXYiU_JCYtU - is the perfect companion to this. The Things That Are Beautiful: Tayuya is crazy, but no-one else (with the notable exception of Rubix) goes into detail, and no-one into this amount of crazed ranting. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJpyd0xM-6I&feature=related might be a tribute to Marik, but Tayuya fits just as easily. Journey of Unhappiness to Content: Amane is always the sweet victim, never a cruel narcissistic survivor. This fic changes all that with the lack of compassion for her victims or humility to dent her overweening hubris. While 'Eat You Alive' is only available at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dvx6VdlT8hc, it certainly fits better than all else. Quotes "“This is the second time in two days that someone has tripped over me.” “No shit. Of COURSE people are going to trip over you if you crouch in doorways. I mean, who does that? No one.” “As you’ve just established, I do.” “No one who isn’t fucktarded.” “Mello, that word doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand what it’s meant to say about me. The only definition that even VAGUELY works would be ‘one who is mentally handicapped due to intercourse’ but I don’t see how that would-” “You don’t see ‘cos you’re fucktarded.”" -from Infatuated, by l0onyl0opylupin "And you might say it's self-destructive And as the skin rips off I cherish the revolting thought -Bad Habit by The Dresden Dolls “When tears of scarlet form at your ankles, tears of anguish form at my heart.” “Here's me opening my wrists -Acts of Contrition, Michael Donaghy "Nobody gives a damn about me "Recently I fell in love. Now I am trying to climb out of it with one black eye, two broken legs and one broken arm." -Steve Hein Feb 13, 2008 “I'll draw you a picture, "Since 9/11, the emotional intelligence of the Bush Administration was being tested. The administration made many mistakes. The world now sees that the Bush Administration failed the test." -Steve Hein "We've all heard the criticisms of Anna Nicole: she's a goldigger, she's not the most intelligent person in the world, she's a big fat bloated abusive pill-popping retarded whore..." -from the MadTV parody of 'the Anna Nicole Show' “Self-injury is a sign of distress not madness. We should be congratulated on having found a way of surviving.” "Adults need to earn the respect of teenagers. Respect is not the same as fear, and it is not the same as obedience." -Steve Hein @ http://eqi.org/index.htm "Love isn't blind, it's retarded." -Two and a Half Men "I only have 5 minutes of conciousness every day and I'm not wasting it on you." - Jay "Be yourself, don't take anyone's shit, and never let them take you alive." -anon "Whisky generation, mental masturbation." - You Don't Care About Us - Placebo "Life is a shit sandwich. Eat it or starve." -anon "It wasn't until I had performed by first autopsy that I realized that even the drabest human exteriors could contain the most beautiful viscera. After that, I would console myself for the plainness of my fellow bus-riders by dissecting them in my imagination." -J. B. S. Haldane "Of course I'm drunk! What do you think I am? A stunt driver?" "You can get more done with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone". “Tell me that you don't take that blade and drag it across your skin, and pray for the courage to press down.” "Listen pal, you can try to take over my company, you can kidnap my brother, you can even try to kill me, but when you fuck around with video games you've gone too far." -YGO Abridged Kaiba "He is a sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity and gifted with an egotistical imagination!" -PM Disraeli on William Gladstone "Love does know genders, and knows boundaries. Love just doesn’t care." -Johnny from Love Knows Gender by God's Tear "Aah..bazookas. You can do anything with them." "No, you can do everything with flamethrowers" -a conversation between my mom & me "You're ugly!" "And you're a retard. Life's not fair, is it, retard?" -anon "How about you two?" "Sorry, we only play BeatMania." awkward pause "You guys are so fucking dead." -Gaara of the Funk from Episode 13 of Naruto: The Abridged Series "I have PMS and a handgun. Any questions?" -unknown "When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one." -Epitaph of Leonard P. Matlovich, 1988 “Razors and knives, horrible things, "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid." -unknown "A hero always shows up at the last minute." - Naruto "Naruto, you need some Ritalin, and Sasuke, you need some Prozac." "What do I need?" "A good kick up the backside." -Kakashi from Naruto The Abridged Series "There's a fine line between genius and insanity, I think you crossed it a few miles back" - Jazhira "The Fangirl - Who follows dating protocol anymore? If you like him, stalk him." -- From a quiz (Which Yaoi Series Are You?) "Do you have any idea what this means to me! How much I had emotionally invested in the prospect of seeing the moist slurping of male lips against male lips! WILL THIS BAZOOKA SHELL ADEQUATELY ENLIGHTEN YOU!" "Oh, and by the way, I'm a boy." -Haku (keep in mind people, he has long hair, a girly face and figure, and is wearing a pink kimono that makes him look like he has boobs. No offense meant to cross dressers.) "You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way." -Homer Simpson "I picked a hell of a day to stop sniffing glue." "I've dated men my age, younger than me and older. The only difference is the young ones are quicker at taking out the garbage. " “Carve your name into my arm. "Mr Jackson, we have unshakable evidence that you have slept with children!" "Objection, Your Honor! I only sleep with little boys!" -from the MadTV parody of Michael Jackson's trial "Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law." -Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy, A.D. 524 "Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." "I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house." "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." -unknown “I wrote you a poem on my wrists. I used a razor as a pen and I signed my name in blood. But you wouldn't read it.” "Ecstasy is not for everyone. Side effects include paralysis, willingness to sleep with Margaret Cho, and is linked to crappy techno music. Ecstasy is often made by community-college dropouts in trailers or cockroach-infested bathrooms. Ecstasy can lead to prolonged discussions with your socks, shoes or other footwear. Occasionally it can lead to death, or, in extreme cases, a tendency to waste votes on the Green Party." -the MadTV commercial for Ecstasy "If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" -unknown " My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference." "Even a little dog can piss on a big building." " Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer." -unknown "Yes, the women of Wisteria Lane felt a rush of conflicting emotions, but you'd never know it because of all the Botox they've had." -the MadTV parody of Desperate Housewives "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, what a ride!" -random email "The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit." -unknown "The thing I like best at my computer is that I can swear at it and not be told to act like a lady." -me "Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route!" "You realize, of course, that everything I say is horseshit." --Kurt Vonnegut "My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care?" "Just because I'm evil doesn't mean I'm not nice." “Small, simple, safe price "If morons could fly, the sky would be pitch black." "1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you." -same random email "A housing commission that leans to the right makes a town healthy, wealthy, and white." "Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat." "No, he's talking about 'fuck'. You can't say 'fuck' in school, you fucking fatass." -Kyle from South Park " Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway." -unknown "I'm fine with dying as long as I go out the way I came into this damn world: naked, wet, and screaming." -unknown "You're so stupid that you could snort crack and not be addicted; you don't have the part of your brain that gets you addicted!" -my best friend to a random idiot "Morons are like cockroaches. They feed off Twinkies and the only way to kill them is to drown them in projectile vomit or stomp on them. I personally like stomping on them more, though you get little bits of moron on your shoes that way." -me "When you can say 'fuck', you can say 'fuck the government'." -unknown "A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun? Now how does this work? What's the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he's got your gun too! " "Some stared at him as they walked by. Maybe it was because of the bright green cargo shorts or the knee high striped socks or the hundreds of colorful jelly bracelets up and down his wrists. Maybe it was because of the black lipstick or pink eyeshadow he was wearing. Or maybe it was the fuchsia t-shirt that bore the neon legend Dip Me in Honey and Throw Me to the Lesbians." -Ritsuka, by xxMikeyxx "Toying with his zips and arching an eyebrow in eager anticipation, he could taste Ryo’s horror as the pungent flavour of acid vinegar washed around his mouth and seeped into the fleshy wound. An adjacent tankard of ale was quickly pulled away lest Ryo was tempted to take a gulp and escape the torture. And so it continued. One bag down – four to go. This was snacking S&M style." -The Unlikely Hosts, by the inscrutable one "I don't know how to tell you this, mate, but you're a homicidal, insane teenager with magical powers that make Dumbledore jealous." -Seamus in Harry's Sanity, by SilverWolf7007 "We’re not the ones toting around someone who looks like the ungodly lovechild of Kermit the Frog and Yoda!" -McKay in Orsus Comitas, by Era Yachi | |||||
