Hi!! I'm Eryn! I really love the twilight books (DUH!!) so until Breaking Dawn comes out i will be creating a lot of stories! I only have 4 fan fictions and thats all... so far! I have brown hair, brown eyes, and am very tall! Unfortunately i have the worst complection on the entire earth and do to that I look like i should live under a bridge, but besides that i have great self-esteem! Until my fanfiction becomes FAMOUS you should read all of my stories!! well, I've got to go do stupid math homework(can u guess my most hated subject)!

my favorites:

book= Twilight

character= Alice

movie= Harry Potter and the order of the pheonix

youtube video= http://youtube.com/watch?v=wCF3ywukQYA , http://youtube.com/watch?v=fPDl2g8Upvk , and http://youtube.com/watch?v=XcidD2HFK8M!

number=7

color= purple

food= mashed potatoes

drink=coke cola

T.V. show= Freinds!!

animal=giraffe(IDK why i just love giraffes)

my hates=

book= Land of Elyon

character= Alexa Dayley

movie= music and lyrics

quote= "when life gives you lemons make lemonade!" (what if we dont want to make stupid lemonade, what if we want orange juice instead?!)

youtube video= none!!

number= 5

color= brown

food= broccoli (yes i know its very childish but i hate the stuff!)

drink= dr.pibb

T.V. show= everybody loves raymond

animal= flamingos (i was gonna put snakes but then i realized... snakes are awesome!)

Good friend quotes:

1) A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at your 'time of the month' but a best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in!

2) A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you but a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because your gay, isn't it?"

3) A good friend will help you up when you fall, but a best friend will laugh and trip you again!

4) A good friend will say "I know how you feel" but a best friend will just sit down next to you and start to cry!

5) A good friend says "you and your boyfriend should hug more" , but a best frind will grab you by the collar and throw you into his arms!(Leana did that to me and i nearly ripped her hair out!!)

6) A good friend will come bail you out of jail but a best friend will be sitting on the bench next to you saying "Damn that was fun!!"

7) A good friend will lend you an umbrella in the rain but a best friend will take yours and say "Run, Bitch, Run!!"

8) Were (edwardjustproposed) the kind of friends that get hit by parked cars and spend hours trying to drown a fish!

9) You laugh, I laugh, you cry, I cry, you fight, I fight, you jump off a cliff i grab a paddle and save your retarded ass!

10) you laugh, I laugh, you cry, I cry, you jump off a cliff, i laugh EVEN HARDER!!

11) A good friend knocks on the door and waits for you to answer it but a best friend opens the door and says "Im home!"

12) A good friend doesnt eat anything while at your house but a best friend is the reason you have to go to the grocery store!

13) a good friend will be there to take the drink away when they think you've had too much, but a best friend will look at you -stubling over your own two feet- and say "Drink that bitch! You know we dont waste that kinda shit!"

14) A good friend will help you when you fall, but a best friend will keep walking and say, "Walk much, dumbass?"

15) She's my best friend. Break her heart and I'll break your face.

Random quotes that i love:

"Everything in here is edible, even me, but that my dear children is called cannibilism and is frowned upon in most societies." ~Willy Wonka

"Well, yes mate. See, I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you need to watch out for, because you never know when they're going to do something incredibly...stupid."~Jack Sparrow talking to Barbossa

"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, if you can't join 'em, bribe 'em, if you can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em!" (Angelz On Edge)

"The reason I'm still here is because Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over." ~Me

"The reason new-born baby's cry is because they realized they just came into a world with Emmet in it."~Alice in lanna-misssunshine's 'Notes with Alice,Bella and the Cullens'

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with a song you actually A) dream about it, B) sing it in school no matter who's listening or, C) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how of key you are, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have written a fanfic, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever spent too much money at Barnes and Noble, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to slap someone, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't do drugs and never will, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think cancer is awful, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of the American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak, if you are part of the 7 percent who would ask the person ''What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious, snobby people please copy and paste this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself and aren't afraid to admit it copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are against animal cruelty put this in your profile.

Only crazy people understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, put this in your profile.

If you read people’s profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile.

If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy an paste this in your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If keyboards hate you, copy and paste this.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the alphabet song and twinkle, twinkle little star have the same tune.

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile.

I'm bored...If you’re bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you’re hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you (stupid locker!) copy and paste this to your profile.

If you agree that 90 percent of politics are dumb, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are against any kind of abuse, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wanted to slap someone, but restrained yourself, congratulations, and copy and paste this to your profile.

98 percent of teenagers, do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS

I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore

I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe in heaven.

I'm smart so I MUST be easy.

I'm single so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BI so I MUST not be Christian.
Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add. (JUST AS A PERSONAL FYI THESE ALL PERTAIN TO ME SO I'M PISSED!)

If you knew that 85 percent of all questions were hidden statement and vice versa copy and paste this on your profile.

If you once choked on food, spit it out, and then it landed in your friends food and/or on their face copy and paste this on your profile.

If you knew that 90 percent of all statistics can be made to say anything 50 percent of the time, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think vampires have souls copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you argue with your self and are constanly pretending to be on the phone (putting your hand to your ear, etc.) not realizing that you look stupider then just talking to your self copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think you were switched at birth because you have special powers (Seeing the future, feeling emotions, hearing thoughts, etc.) and/or because your parents are totally geeks, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have considered nameing your kids Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, or Esme, copy and paste this onto your profile(I comtemplate this every other day! Edward, Bella, Alice, and Jasper are my favorites!)

If you are a proud stalker and obsessed fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy and paste this

If your second favorite of the Cullen males is Jasper Whitlock Hale, copy and paste this onto your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this to make it longer.

If you truly believe there is an Edward Cullen (his name doesn't have to be Edward Cullen) out there for you, put this on your profile.

If you know you have an un-healthy obsession with any or all Cullens, but you don't really care because even though admitting you have a problem is the first step to healing, frankly you don't wanna heal, put this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP sign, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile(I run into them every day. They plot against me and move when I am about to walk through the doorway. They just hate me. :(

If you have ever fell off a chair backwards, copy and paste this onto your profile(I once fell out of my chair forwards, don't ask how.)

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullens Including Bella Disorder

AV is Addicted to Vampires

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

SEAMCJWH is Stalker of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and Jasper Whitlock Hale

If you think Rap stands for Retards Attempting Poetry paste this on your profile

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this onto your profile.

If you think vampires are real and you want to join them, copy this onto your profile.

If you think your cat/animal is a vampire and plead with it to bite you, copy this onto your profile.(My cat IS a vampire, but whenever I ask to be bitten, she just goes "Meow." It is very frustrating.)

If people think you are mentally insane, copy and paste this onto your profile

You know it's gonna be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

If you've read Twilight over 4 times, copy this onto your profile.

If you can't appreciate Edward Cullen, please leave the vicinity

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

-If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled on a door that said push, copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique,so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever thought really hard about how gorgeous Edward Cullen is and hope he heard, copy and paste this into your profile.

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur profile!

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If when you have a boy, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.

If when you have a girl, you'd consider naming her Isabella, copy this into your profile.

if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

If you don't review, I won't write. If I don't write, you won't review. If you think people should review after they read, copy and paste this on your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you're nocturnal copy and paste this in your profile.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon, copy and pastes this onto your profile.

If it drives you insane when you someone asks a question and you answer it and they say why and so you answer that and then they say why again and you answer that one and it goes on and on until you can’t answer anything anymore, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

If you've ever wondered why Bush won't leave the friggin' war and let the remaining soldiers live, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think disclaimers are the most annoying thing ever copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hear the voices of the characters in your head, copy and paste (smiles)

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree, that purple bunnies with sporks WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are absolutly in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT and NEW MOON over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

If your family/friends/people around you stared at you when you did the above mentioned, copy and paste this onto your profile

you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur pro!

If you think that any cartoon characters that are trying to steal cereal should just go to the freaking grocery store and buy some themselves copy this into your profile.

Between two evils, i always pick the one I've never tried.

If you don't think that everything Oprah says is true and you don't watch her religiously then copy/paste onto profile

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy/paste onto profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy/paste onto profile.

If you think that dumb girl from the Eggo commercial should just give her father some freakin' waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when your evil, malicious best friend/cousin comes to visit for two weeks from across the country and gets you completely and utterly obsessed and addicted to a totally awesome book about vampires that you never thought you would like! (yup that's me) Crazy is when on career day I said I was going to move to move to Greece the day I graduate and live on a beach writing stories on the back of paper bags and my best friend asked if she could come too. Crazy is when you pretend you are a Cullen and live life with your imaginary Cullen family when no one else is around. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

heres one of my favorite poems. it mad me cry:

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me
not to drink, Mom,
so I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
that I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right.
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out o f sigh t.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming, Mom,
something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.

So why do peopl e do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing
knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put ' Mommy's Girl' on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive

My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I'm g etting really scared
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mom!'
So I love you and good-bye.

its sad i know!! i wrote one (even though im not dead yet) in a letter to my mother that she can't read until im dead:

Remember mom,

Even though I’ve past,

That your life,

Was meant to last,

Remember to celebrate the most trivial things,

Because soon they may not be here,

So appreciate all life brings,

I may not have been the best daughter,

But believe me as I write,

That ill always be watching over you,

Even after the morning light,

To me you were more then a mother,

You were a friend,

Teacher,

Provider,

Protector,

Comedian,

And most of all,

A hair-brained mentor,

You taught me everything I know,

From procrastination,

To innovation,

From love,

To laughing,

Your words were the ones,

Who kept me going through hard times,

And the ones who’s voice comforted me,

Through the good times,

I love you mom,

And always will,

So keep me in your heart,

And keep me you will.

CUT AND PASTE BUNNY SO HE CAN ONE DAY RULE FANFICTION!!:

yay bunny! ( \_/ )

yay bunny! (='.'=)

yay bunny! (")_(")

I don’t want friend that tell me I’m pretty, or agree to whatever I say. I want friends to tell me I look stupid when I do, when I know I can go to them to get the honest truth. I have friends who smack me on the head and tell me that I’m a dork and goddammitt they are my heroes.

If only life could be as simple as traveling fair, and riding your bike to the ice cream shop. in the word I can sum up every thing ive learned about life: It goes on & I pinky promise.

Love is a color only the blind can see.

He can’t understand how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends..

I’m dying. My heart is oozing Edward love goo- squidney301

Our Edward,
Who art in Forks,
Hallowed be thy sparkles.
Thy Volvo comes, thy will be fast,
On Earth as it is in the meadow.
Give you this day, our daily blood;
Forgive us our heartbeats,
As we worship Carlisle for giving you life.
Lead us into temptation,
Deliver us to you.
For thine is the vampire,
The music and the hotness,
For ever and ever,
A-Edward.

You Know You've Read Too Much Twilight When:

1) You squeal with joy at the fact that you're doing the Krebs Cycle in Science Class

2) When everyou listen to a song, read a book, watch a movie, or do anyting you think, "How could i work this into Twilight?"

3)You've got a built in Volvo radar

4)You snap you your head as soon as you hear the word "vampire"

5) You've written a fanfiction.

6) You wrote a 3 page essay on how much you hate Jacob Black, and handed it in.

7) You freak out in History when you are studying any of the time periods in which the Cullens lived.

8) You celebreate Edward and Bella's birthdays.

9) You obsess over fanfics because the books aren't enough!

10) Your friends make you a Twilight scrapbook because they can't think of anythying else you'll like.

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

Ultimate Twilight Obsession Quiz

You know you're obsessed with the Twilight Series when:
1. you download every song from Stephanie Meyers playlist and listen to them non-stop on your iPod.
2. you dream about it every night.
3. you want to go to Forks for your spring break.
4. you squeal every time you see a silver Volvo, even if it's not your favorite car.
5. you cringe whenever you hear/see Edward's or Bella's name and it has nothing to do with Stephenie Meyer.
6. you've ceased to believe that vampires actually have fangs or any weakness. And you believe all vampires must be inherently hot.
7. you're counting down the minutes until Breaking Dawn comes out.
8. you quote lines from the books for use in your everyday speech.
9. you solidly believe your boyfriend is a vampire simply on the basis that he's sexy.
10. you refer to your ideal boyfriend as an "Edward."
11. you pre-order your copy of Breaking Dawn at Barnes & Noble.
12. you name your characters after the Twilight characters.
13. you cry because your father used New Moon as a coaster for his drink
14. you count down the days till Edwards birthday 60 days before it starts. (June 20th)
15. a love song comes on and you immediately think of Edward and Bella.
16. you have bought both the audio books.
17. you have bought t-shirts from twilightteez.com.
18. you relate even the weirdest things to the book.
19. you carry the books with you.
20. you go to Forks.
21. you almost faint when you first saw the cover of Eclispe.
22. you think you can feel Edward beside you while you're reading(or just doing nothing at all).
23. you talk to nothing but think you're talking to Edward.
24. you stay locked in your room until you've read it over a million times.
25. you start talking to it (the book).
26. you talk to your friends about it...even though they have no idea what you're talking about!
27. you ask them how you know you love the Twilight series even though they STILL don't know what you're talking about.
28. you sleep with the book cradled in your arms.
29. while talking to your friends, they mention something that reminds you of Twilight, and you mutter a joke for Twilight-lovers with super hearing and start laughing your head off.
30. you are highly considering naming your future children the characters names.
31. in class, you relate every project to something in the book.
32. the name Edward becomes your new favorite guy name.
33. you didn't let anybody else touch your books.
34. you and your boyfriend call each other "Edward" and "Bella".
35. you sit on the roof of your house every night waiting for Edward to come.
36. you name random people at your school the characters' names.
37. you wish for them not to make a Twilight movie because it could never be as good as the book but still want to see it.
38. you start failing in school because either your reading the Twilight Series. Or you are thinking about Edward and his family.
39. you make a protective cover for your twilight to ensure that you never leave your copy of Twilight when it goes with you to yours friend's house.
40. you create a debate in class over Edwards "perfection"
41. you and your friends try to guess the entire plot to Breaking Dawn.
42. you refer to it as "The Black and Red Bible"
43. you start imagining scenes from the books in your head before you go to bed.
44. you try to compare a lot of things to the book.
45. your cry at sad parts of the book... Even though you've read it 20 times

If you're a Jacob fan, you can just go shoot yourself in the foot.

If you're an Edward fan, I completely agree with you and am certain you are a wonderful person.

If you don't know who Jacob and Edward ( ) are, then leave. Seriously. Go

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up. (me: there's no way anyone can argue with that...)

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. (me: Just hope that you have something to change it to)

Some day we'll look back on this, and plow into a parked car

~ Treat each day as your last; one day you'll be right.

~ Follow your dreams. Except for that one where you're naked at work...

All i ask for is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy!

~ They call it PMS because "Mad cow disease" was already taken. -thats my fav 'cause it's so true!

~ The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

~ Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?

~ Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

~ Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

~ Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

You know you're obsessed with Twilight when...

1) You have read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse at least 3 times. 7 for me

2) You own all above mentioned books.

3) You know that they're totally going to screw up Twilight the Movie, and
you want to see it anyway.

4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyers web site.

5) You have reread a lot of these pages.

6) You read fanfiction about Twilight.

7) You write fanfiction about Twilight.

8) At one point or another, you have had a screenname/username that says
something about Twilight or its characters.

9) You constantly count the days until Breaking Dawn comes out.

10) For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon, you acted as a
missionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had read
them.

11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it,
because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever".

12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight
is the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them.

13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story(and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off.

14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk
about.

15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2007 for
Eclipse to come out, you almost cried.(AN: this one kinda depends on when
you read the first two books, I guess!)

16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you
like best.

17) You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something
about Twilight, when you had already finished the books.

18) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories,
you never get tired of it.

19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing
you read.

20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a
vampire.

21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.

22) Your personal motto is, vampires are cool, not scary.

23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people
who don't understand it just haven't read the book.

24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought
it was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh.

26). You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information

27). You're driving your parents mad with your crazy countdowns

28). You're keeping track of all the "Eclipse Quotes of the Day" and trying to figure out what they all mean

29). Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website

30). Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series

31). Your screen saver reads "Breaking Dawn: August 2, 2008"

32). You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition

33). You put your Eclipse poster in plain view so that everyone can see it

34). You can't believe that most people haven't read the books

35). You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them

36). You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines

37). You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die

38). You know you're addicted, but you don't care

39). You can't help saying, "I can't wait for August 2cd!" while everyone who isn't "in the know" stares at you like you're psyco

40). You're more excited about the release of Eclipse than anything to do with Harry Potter

41). When you found out that Breaking Dawn wasn't coming out until 2008, you have a mental breakdown

42). When you found out about Midnight Sun you had yet another mental breakdown

43). You noticed there is no number 25

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise

When you show it to your mother and she says,"Oh my Gosh, he has a face!"

You have 'I love Edward Anthony Masen Cullen' on your cell phone banner.

You doodle I love Edward on your binders and don't really realize you did it.

You have dreamt about Edward at least one time in your life.

You get mad when someone says that they don't like Edward and like Jacob instead.

You get upset whenever you watch Harry Potter because you think Edward will get mad at you.

You are looking at all of these and laughing and nodding or saying,"Yep, that's me."

You went to Reese Jewlers to get yourself a topaz ring.

You get mad when people say they haven't read the book.

You constantly have mini anxiety attacks. You think about Edward and you begin to get anxious to find out what happens in the next book.

If you have done any of these, copy and paste it to your pro

TOP 14 REASONS THAT YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH EDWARD CULLEN
1.You make your boyfriend die his hair bronze, and if he doesn't, you break up with him.
2.You call your boyfriend Edward even though its not his name, if he doesn't like it, you break up with him.
3.You make your boyfriend listen to Debusy everytime your in your car, if he doesn't like it, well you know the drill. :)
4.You make your boyfriend wear Vampire teeth, and if he ask's you why, you break up with him.
5.Whenever your boyfriend invites you over to watch a movie, you always put in Romeo & Juliet.
6.If your boyfriend pulls up in a car that is not a silver Volvo, u call the cops.
7.When you and your boyfriend want to take a vacation and he suggests Italy, you yell at him an then break up with him
8.When your boyfriend tells you that he has two tickets to go to Forks, Washington, you pat him on the head and give him Animal blood, but if he refuses, you take your ticket and break up with him.
9. you make him read all the Twilight books so much that he has them memorized.
10.You tell your boyfriend that he will always be 2nd in your heart because Edward Cullen is first.
11. if your boyfriend doesn't have a white mansion, you tell him he has to buy one.
12. if he has no brothers or sisters named Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, then you ask him "who are you?" and leave him.
13.you make your boyfriend listen to all the sad and happy songs that remind you of Edward and Bella and if he questions you why, you throw him out of your car.
14.you ask your boyfriend what type of drug he thinks you are, and if he says anything other then heroine, you start to cry and tell him to leave

"Whenever a choice is made based on the excuse “life’s too short”, it’s certain that life will be just long enough to punish you for it."

"Love isn't a feeling, it is an ability"

"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer." - Douglas Adams

"What will be, will be." -A quote restated many times in an Arthurian book series by Nancy McKenzie (either by Merlin, Queen Guinevere or King Arthur!).

"I love you... Most ardently." Aw, Mr. Darcy!

"If you can't convince them, confuse them." - Harry S. Truman

"The free-thinking of one age is the common sense of the next." -Matthew Arnold

"To prophesy is extremely difficult - especially with regard to the future." - Chinese proverb

"Oh, I'm a degenerate am I? Well you sir are a fastishio, see I can make up words too." -Peter Griffin

"Greedy boys die in their sleep." -Stuart from Mad TV (I love that show!)

"Disclaimer: Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what I'm talking about." - Unknown

"I'm in my dark place." -Also via Stuart

"I wish I could quit you." Heehee. Brokeback Mountain.

"Americans always try to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else." -Winston Churchill

"If you want special effects rent Lord of the Rings." -God from Joan of Arcadia

"Derek: Oh, I thought you came over to tell me what a bad ugooglizer I was.
Matilda: A what?
Derek: A ugooglizer - one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a ugoogly is?" - Zoolander (Note: It's supposed to be 'eulogy'.)

-Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect - and I didn't live to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean- (Bob Marley)

-You know you're in love when reality is finally better than your dreams- (Dr. Seuss)

-People will always talk about you. Might as well give them something to talk about- ;)

-A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left- (Marylin Monroe)

-It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have every done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known- (Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities)

-The trouble with most of us is that we would rather by ruined by praise than saved by criticism- (Norman Vincent Peale)

-It is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes come to the top- (Virginia Woolf)

-Obstacles are things you see when you take your eyes off the goal- (E. Joseph Cossman)

-You don't have to have a reason to feel good - You can feel good for no reason at all-

-The best things in life aren't things- (Art Buchwald)

-Let us endeavor to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry- (Mark Twain)

-"Good causes" seem to be quite expensive, especially compared to how cheap the bad ones are-

-I look in the mirror & force myself to not look away. You can't look away from the truth. This reality that grips me is making me fall undone. When did this reflection change, & where did this thing come from?-

-Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience - Lol! (Some Genius)

-Wait 'til there's someone to cry about, someone to fight it out, someone to say you're the reason they breathe-

-Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know it, so it keeps flying anyway

-It's the kind of relationship where we have a secret handshake, and she begs him to watch Disney movies with her, while he begs her to watch a scary movie instead. It's where they laugh and joke all the time, but they're serious when it's time to be serious. It's where neither of them have to say 'I love you' because they know with all their hearts they love each other. It's where they can mess around on her couch, and then she'll laugh at him when he tries not to look guilty in front of her dad. It's the kind of love everyone dreams about-

-There's that one quote, 'when I'm around you the sky is a different blue'. What happens when I'm around you, and the goddamn sky is gray?-

-So here's to teenage romance, and not knowing why it hurts like hell-

-With bloodshot eyes, I'll watch you sleeping. The warmth beside me, is slowly fading- (Tears Don't Fall, by Bullet for My Valentine)

-It's sad when people you know, become people you knew...When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours, and now...you can barely even look at them-

-I miss you...a lot-

-& she's so scared to get close to anyone because everyone who said they'd never leave...left-

-Beginnings are scary endings are s a d It's the middle that counts the most;; don't look too hard for happy endings because you might just miss the best part of the story-

-People hold onto something because they're afraid nothing that great will ever happen to them again-

-If you can't hear my heartbeat then you're too far away-

-Just because she comes off strong doesn't mean she didn't fall asleep crying & even though she acts like nothing is wrong, maybe, just maybe -- she's really good at lying -

-After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist finally said to me, "Maybe...life isn't for everyone." -

-Falling in love was the best idea I ever had-

- Forged in war, born of death, saved by love - Jackson Rathbone

- I'd tell her that I'll never know what it was like to be her. But I do know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in, but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside, to try to kill the thing on the inside. - (Girl, Interrupted)

- "You're a good friend and I love you and all...but if we ever get chased by zombies, I'm totally tripping you!"

Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it all. And then some you don't want. -Daughtry

-And you can quote me on the quote, unquote- (Dane Cook)

-Love is when two people who care for each other get confused- (Bob Schneider)

"I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt!"~Jack Sparrow

"Dad, I see dead people."~Michael Evers-The Haunted Mansion

"Maybe you'll think twice before coming back from the dead!"~Jim Evers to Zombie-The Haunted Mansion

''Figures, somehow he always gets a second chance on the verge of death. He's like a damn cat.''

"Don't drop me! I'm fragile!", "Hey don't talk to me about being fragile! I'm the one who's feeling fragile!"~Madame Leota and Jim Evers-The Haunted Mansion

"Punch his face in, dad."~Megan Evers-The Haunted Mansion

"You loved her... Well damn you. Damn you all to hell!"~Ramsley to Edward Gracie-The Haunted Mansion

"Don't blame me for your craziness!"

"And we shall have a magnificent garden party, and you're not invited. Hehe..."~Jack Sparrow

"Shoot him! Cut out his tongue! Shoot him and cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue! And trim that scragly beard..."~Pirates of Shipwreck Cove and Jack Sparrow

"Barbossa, marry us!" "I'm a little busy at the moment!"~Elizabeth Swan and Barbossa

"Jack! Jack! It's the captain! Hide the rum."~Pintel, Ragetti, Gibbs, and Cotton's parrot

"The only way I would bring Jack Sparrow back from the land of the dead, is so I can send him back myself!"~Sao Feng

"Why, she's no help a' all."~Pintel

"Mr. Gibbs, care to explain why my ship is gone?" "The ship? -snorts- We're on the ship...Jack! The ship's gone!" "Really!?"~Gibbs and Jack Sparrow

"A wedding?! I love weddings! Drinks all around!"~Jack Sparrow

"Drink a lot of water. You'll be less hungry." "You know what else happens when you drink a lot of water? YOU'RE LESS THIRSTY!"~ Ron White

"I'm 49 years old in the back of this F-16 screamin' 'MOMMA!! MOMMA!!'"~ Bill Engvall

"Beating you is going to be as easy as pie!"~ Jamie Noble "What a coincidence, Jamie! I happen to love pie!" ~CM Punk

"Why doesn't anybody listen to me?"~ JBL "Because you're an ass."~ Triple H

"Son, are you mildly retarded?"~ Triple H, pretending to be Vince McMahon

"I did not sleep with that young intern, in fact, I was up all night!"~ HBK in DX interview

"Then I started a fight...and the whole bar started fighting...I whipped everybodys ass"~ 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin

"Lemme' guess? You wanna join DX? Get in the back."~ Triple H to Great Kahli

"Go ahead. Make my millenium."~ Beetlejuice

"Well Jamie Noble, your alligator mouth has finally overloaded your hummingbird rear end."~ J.R.

-Strike a pose; & act like your famous-

-The hardest thing in this world is to live in it- (Buffy)

-To live is the rarest thing; most people only exist-

-It's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be real hard. And we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I wanna do that...because I want you. All of you...forever-

-Behind every untrusting girl is someone who made her that way-

-It's funny how someone can break your heart and you still love them with all the little pieces-

-It's not about right. It's not about wrong. It's about power- (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

-She's like a woman fighting for more than life. She fights like fighting is her life. It is the air she breathes, and she knows she will win because...there is no alternative- (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

-Who really cares if you're in your house, or in a big open field? There is always something to surround you. You can pretend like you're free, but you're not. Not really. You will always be trapped. Four walls of plaster or the roundness of the encroaching atmosphere. I see no difference-

-Your mom- (Some genius)

-Well...you're a flower!-

-It's pretty sad when you think about it. It's even sadder when you think about not thinking about it.- (Mwa)

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you,

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

If kisses were raindrops,
I'd send you showers.
If hugs were minutes, I'd send you hours.
If smiles were an waves,
I'd send you the sea.
And if love was a person,
I'd send u ME !!

Unlike Barbie,

Me & my friends

~aren't sold seperatly~

Flip flops and belly tops, lemonade in da shade, blue skies, hot guys, late nights and water fights, ice cream, sweet dreams, party time, lookin' fine, sleeping in and sneaking out, that's what girls are all about

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.- that happens alot.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

When life throws you lemons...OMG! You're pregnant!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in hell would you keep looking for it if you already found it

Silent is golden but duck tape is silver

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

I'm so gangsta, I carry a squirt gun.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

Smile... it confuses people.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

There's a ME in AWESOME but there's also a WE.

I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Palm Reader: -gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."

Therapist = The/rapist (scary thought -shudder-)

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! -Dory from Finding Nemo

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?

Isn't it funny that the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.

I don't obsess, I think intensely.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of a fast approaching train.

"You know, there are times when we're dirt broke, hungry and freezing, and I ask myself, "why the hell am i still living here." and then they call and i remember."~rent

Someone should sue Disney for making every little girl believe shes found her prince charming.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask myself, “Is life multiple choose questions or true or false questions?” and then a voice inside my head says, “We hate to tell you this, but life’s a 1,000 word essay.

Sunglasses are in the two splash category. The first splash is the sunglasses falling into the water. The second splash is you jumping in after them.

Life is like a box of chocolates, don't eat them too fast.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.

Is he gay or European?

Music man took my soul...

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Men are like slinkies. They bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

SIGNS OF INSANITY:
1. Talking to yourself.
2. Talking to inanimate objects with hopes that they'll answer you.
3. Having conversations with yourself/said inanimate objects.
4. Laughing maniacally at the worst of times.
5. Thinking you're a mythical creature. (oh god, i am insane!)
6. Singing 'POLKA DOTTED PIG TOES!' when you're supposed to be doing something productive.
Finally, 7. Trying to cure abuse/world hunger/global warming/etc. all by yourself. (silly maximum)

Why America has some issues (Yes, I live there, but tough. These are all clever.)

1. Only in
America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores
make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the
front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave
both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in
America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put
our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use
answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
miss a
call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8.
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages
of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to
describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'

.
10. Only in America...do they have
drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

ThInGs To PoNdEr:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers