“Murder is a crime; writing about it isn’t. Sex is not a crime, but writing about it is. Why?" - Larry Flynt

I've decided that writing smut is an exercise in combining pointless sentences and cliche adjective in an attempt to make a simple listing of actions a story." (said by yours truly...) And yet I still write it...

Ten Things About me:

10) I love yaoi. (duh)

9) Het actually scares me. I read one het doujinshi, (Sebastian/Fem!Ciel from Kuroshitsuji) and it scared me for life. I was chatting with a friend will reading it. I believe my exact words were: Omg... Omg... Omg... make it stop... TT.TT

8)Although I use ellipses (...) wrong in conversation, I get so pissed off if someone uses them wrong in a story.

7) Multiple

times people have made the assumption that I am a lesbian. (My favorite story being the girl who asked my bff if I was a lesbian. When my friend told her I wasn't the girl said "You're only saying that cause your her friend." Really put the phrase Damned if you do, damned if you don't, in perspective.) Whether or not this is true is for me to know, and you to never find out.

6) I go to college next year! Can't wait. Don't know where I'm going yet. -sigh-

5) I have three major neurosis I guess you could call them. 1) I'm agoraphobic. While this can be the phobia that keeps people locked in their house, mine isn't that bad, I just have panic attacks if I'm too crowded. 2) I am afraid of making phone calls. This fear has gone away slightly with some work, and programmable cell phones. However, I'll still get someone else to call if I can. I'm a hypochondriac. Whenever something goes wrong I go skipping off to a self-diagnosis site and look it up. (According to one such site I'm bi-polar. At one point I thought I had cancer. At the moment I'm trying to find an answer for my sore feet, most likely too small shoes soaked in water for three hours. Yeah for band camp...)

4) I have been writing yaoi since I was 16 and a half. My introduction to yaoi were two of my characters, Fawr and Vehn who decided randomly one day that they were gay and together, and had been that way for YEARS! Which lead to my first yaoi smut (first smut in general actually) I burned it later.

3) I love mpreg. In fact, that's mostly what I write. I guess I just like to see me suffer through pregnancy, not to mention some bishies would have ADORABLE babies.

2) I'm a total perv. My lunch group consist of total pervs. We have very interesting conversations.

1) I update slowly. This is because I get stuck on stories a lot, because I either A) have no time, B) get stuck in some dialogue, C) get to big of a head and think it has to be utterly amazing for my viewers, or D) am in danger of my extremely christian parents trying to figure out what I write.

My biggest almost caught moments:

3) when I first started writing yaoi my parents asked to read something I wrote.

2) When my mom was chaperoning a group of me and my friends to A-kon last year.

1) When my mom found part of Chapter 4 from Haunted and read it. She said it was good, but stranger... since there were these two men... and one was pregnant.

My Blog site: http://yaoisakka.blogspot.com/

Oneshot generator: http://www.freewebs.com/oneshotgenerator/index.html - a prompt generator I made about a year ago.

Story Warnings: I hate not being able to explain warnings to people because to explain them in full detail would probably take a few hundred words. So here I will keep a list of warnings that I use.

Alice in Wonderland Syndrome - This story will take place in a dream/illusion/hallucination.

Cursing - This goes on almost all my stories, mostly because I curse, and you can't really write a lemon without cursing at least once. (Ass and butt are really not interchangable.)

Dub-con - A story in which the uke/bottom/submissive/girl/victim says no at first but by the end has said yes, or starts to participate.

Lemon/Smut/Pwp - Graphic sex Scene.

OOCness - I use this on almost every story, because it is impossible to claim that you writing someone else characters will always remain in character. Plus this protects me from flamers a bit...

Non-con - This is the next step up from Dub-con. In it the Uke/bottom/submissive/girl/victim says no, never says yes, but at least comes at the end of it, and is generally not as hurt as they would be by rape. (see my definition)

Rape - The uke/bottom/submissive/girl/victim never says yes, says no multiple times, never comes, and generally will bleed.

Cookies!

Sirius: 8 & 5/6

Remus: 8 & 5/6

Mme Hooch: 1

Snape: 1

James: 3

Slughorn: 1

Binns: 1

Regulus: 2 & 1/3

Mrs. Lupin: 1

Mrs. Black:1

Ariel (From the Little Mermaid): 1

Tseng: 1

Xemnas: 2

Demyx: 6

Zexion: 7

Spanish Soap Opera Dude: 1

Yaoi Sakka: 1 Paupou cake, and 3 & 1/3 cookies.

Axel: 1

Riku: 3

Marluxia: 2

The b...witchy old lady on the phone: 1

Sora: 1

Roxas: 1

Gokudera: 4 & 1/2

Tsuna: 1/2

Tsuna's Coffin: 1

The Peanut Butter and Honey Sandwich: 1

Ciel: 20

Sebastian: 12 & 1/4

Finny: 4 & 1/3

Waiter: 2

Dr. Bagot: 1

Angelina Nicole Phantomhive Michealis: 8 & 1/4

Dr. Bagot's ex-secretary: 1

Sohma: 2 1/2

Maylene: 1

Adrien Phantomhive Michealis: 2

Assassin Dude: 1

Dead Dude: 1

Queen: 1

Everyone (Haunted. I'm too lazy to make that fraction, and combine it with the others): 1

Mme Red: 1/4

The Bed: 1

Grell: 1

Puro Puro: 1

Toris (Lithuania): 1

Arthur (England): 1

Cookie Givers:
-Remuslives23 -1/2 to Sirius the other 1/2 to Remus, rules for them to eat it: In bed. No Hands. Take Pictures.
-Reeby10 - to Mme Hooch
-Kyunkuchi89 - 1/2 to Sirius. 1/2 to Remus
-MagicalWinry - Cookie went to Remus
-Reeby10 - to Remus for being "a scrupmtuous seme in Gorgeously Warm and Delicious"
-fuzzyalligator - 1/2 to Sirius, 1/2 to Remus, since I don't give out two cookies... sorry!
-Beatrice Potter - to Sirius
-fuzzyalligator - to Sirius for beating up Snape
-xrosiex - to Sirius
-Reeby10 - to Snape for not peeing his pants in chapter 3 of What happens in Guard Stays in Guard
-B-Rated - to Sirius for being so sexy.
-Reeby10 - to James for standing up for the show.
-Gothgirl823 - to Remus and Sirius to share.
-fuzzyalligator - to Sirius
-Reeby10 - to Slughorn for the awesome seating chart.
-fuzzyalligator - to Remus. It's a triple chocolate chip one, with milk!
-Reeby10 - To Binns.
-Queen Freaky - to "Sirius for being sweet, Remus for getting up his courage, and Regulus for being...Regulus?"
-Reeby10 - To Regulus..."although if some other characters had been in there they would've got it!"
-MischiefManaged16 - To Remus, wishing he was in their guard.
-fuzzyalligator - (gets two for reading my 1000 word author's note) to "James for leaving them alone. I mean...for doing the right thing and going to practice" and to Regulus for saying "I don't want to be labeled, so I refuse to be labeled"
-MischiefManaged16 - To Sirius for nose kissies.
-gothicgirl823 - (gets two for reading my 1000 word author's note) to Sirius and Remus to share, and to James for driving Sirius to Remus.
-reeby10 - (Gets two for reading my 1000 word author's note) to Mrs. Lupin, and Mrs. Black
-reeby10 - to Ariel from the Little Mermaid... (don't ask. I can't read her mind...)
-lollu - To Remus because: "He's so cute!! And smart and innocent! I LOVE HIM!"
-fuzzyalligator - to Remus.
-reeby10 - To Tseng cuz hes cool like that :D
-reeby10 - To Xemnas... with no cute reason why! (cries)
-RecklessxDreamer - to Demyx "because he's awesome and apparently he can make any situation interesting... XD"
-TheCloakedNocturneXV - To Zexion to share with Demyx. (along with a "special" present for the boys (me scared!) and a Paupou cake for moi!)
-Insanecat6 - To Zexy.
-Metal Chocobo - To Zexion "since he did earn it here."
-reeby10 - To "the person in the spanish soap opera who got pushed off the cliff XD" (Don't ask... I don't even want to know...)
-Teh A-Muffin - To Axel for shouting, "Illicit! Since when was fucking in public illicit?"
-Reeby10- To Riku... just because...
-Buka2000 - To Marly because he has to be a single mom with a young child.
-Reeby10 - To Riku for trying to feel up the oblivious sora
-Seto's Princess - To Zexion.
-Unsigned Reviewer "J" - cookies to Demyx (: and luffles to you (:
-fuzzyalligator - to Zexion for 1) Being Zexy 2) Making them watch the news cuz it was his tv 3) being molested by Demyx
-Reeby10 - To the (w)itchy old lady on the phone! (Sorry, can't cuss on the profile... )
-coolgamer - To Zexion because he needs some cheering up
-FinalFallenFantasy - To Demyx for suggesting the high school pool and pwning Roxas, the usual blushmeister.
-saphirephantom197 - To Sora.
-Kawii-Neko-Neko-Chan - To Roxas.
-Lord Akos - "to Gokudera and Tsuna =) And to you, you deserve it!"
-BeyondBirthday187 - To Zexion and Demyx.
-amazingly nifty - (Yes, you can split cookies, but because you didn't sign in or leave an email, I couldn't tell you.) "zexion should get it because he has to put up with all of Demyx's adorable clumbsiness XD"
-reeby10 - "betcha can't guess who the cookie is going to this time... . personally i'm liking this cookie giving the best... cookie goes to the coffin! muahahaha! because it is just awesome like that XD or maybe the 10 year cannon... hm... gonna have to go with the coffin XD"
-Light Catastrophe - To Demyx
-reeby10 - "i give my cookie to the peanut butter and honey sandwich because it needs a cookie to go with it!! XD o i crack myself up sometimes XD excuse my retardedness ."
-Triizore - to Mansex.
-Determined - To Ciel a cookie so he can forget how much of an epic baka Finny is! (But seriously, breaking a hip during smex has GOTTA suck.)
-9mm Kisses - Sebastian should get a cookie for persuading Ciel to go to a party for Lizzie And (if i can do two) one to Ciel for wearing a bell collar xD (Sorry I don't let people do two cookies, but they can share!)
-lilou black - to Ciel for wearing ridiculous clothing.
-VivaLosPanditas - to Sebastian for planning to rape Ciel in a near future.
-NyteSkie Kurokawa - to Riku.
-layla-xd - to Sebastian for "not ravishing Ciel right at the masquerade ball!.~"
-Hotoko Hoshi - 1/2 to Ciel for coming up with a smart remark despite being in pain. The other half to Finny for being so cute and considerate while screwing Ciel. Even if he did forget his own strength...
-reeby10 - to the waiter for having both Ciel and Lizzy fall on him.
-reeby10 - to the doctor because she feel sorry for him when they explain exactly how Ciel broke his hip.
-Yami Dragoness of Dark - To Gokudera because he needs it. Don't worry Gokudera, maybe Tsuna will let you give him the fourth child, they never really mean last.
-CookieMonster525 - to Gokudera.
-ohlordies - to Gokudera.
-Dark Kisuna - to Ciel because he's the one who always gets hurt.
-reeby10 - to Ciel and Sebastian's unborn baby.
-KuroShoujo - To Ciel and Sebastian to share.
-TheLadyPendragon - To Ciel for "taking it like a big boy."
-kawaii hime-sama - To Ciel for"dropping his pride, even though it was for like 5 seconds, to "beg" for sebastian to continue"
-kawaii hime-sama - To Sebastian.
-reeby10 - To the former secretary at Dr. Bagot's office. All because she can.
-TheLadyPendragon - To Ciel for deciding to not have an abortion.
-AzulC - To Ciel for finally losing his virginity.
-AzulC - To Sohma.
-xXKatiouKitsuneXx - To Ciel, for losing his virginity, to share with Sohma for being a fangirl.
-winegoldsayuri - to Finny. (and one to me too!)
-reeby10 - To Maylene for being useful to the birth!
-xXKatiouKitsuneXx - To Ciel.
-TheLadyPendragon - To Sebastian for protecting his wife (LOL!) and child.
-Futaba Hotaru - To Angelina Nicole Phantomhive Michealis for being born and making Ciel and Sebastian happy.
-TheLadyPendragon - To Angelina for being awesome.
-Dark Kisuna - To Ciel, because he´s usually the one who gets hurt.
-xXx.YOODLES.xXx - To Gokudera.
-Roquette - To Sebastian, cause he is hot and sexy and so amazing!
-Roquette - To Ciel, cause hes cute, even if he doesn't think so.
-Roquette - To Angelina, cause she is just a absolute DARLING!
-Roquette - T0 Yaoisakka, for writing it all.
-NEKOYuuki-Sama - For Sebastian to share with Ciel.
-midblooder - To Angelina.
-TheLadyPendragon - To Adrien.
-reeby10 - To the assassin dude. (One day I'm going to stop accepting your cookies. They make the receiver list too long!)
-reeby10 - To the dead dude.
-reeby10 - To the queen for being thoughtful enough to send a fruit basket.
-inmemoryoftheMasterRapper - To Everyone.
-AzulC - Half to Ciel for giving birth, and the other half for Angelina.
-AzulC - To Sebastian for getting Ciel pregnant again.
-AzulC - To Ciel, because i like giving him cookies and he'll have a hard time so he needs to be strong.
-AzulC - To Adrien.
-mechanical-rain - To Sebastian, just for being such a fine beast.
-Cerelia7 - To Angelina.
-Cerelia7 - To Sebastian and Ciel.
-xXShowtekXx - To Ciel since he told Lizzie off!
-Xiah813 - To Ciel for getting pregnant, and Angelina cause she'll be one hot girl when she grows up.
-Sokras Twili-Shibuya - To Sebastian for being such a cunning demon, and to Ciel for being able to survive Sebastian.
-Donnie Darkness - To Sebastian for staying with Ciel.
-Donnie Darkness - To Ciel for being so brave.
-KyuubiNoNeko - To Finny cause no one ever pays any attention to him, and to Ciel for breaking his hip.
-Aakireh - To Finny.
-Pawky - To Finny for ripping Ciel's shirt and being seme, to Ciel for realizing the TRUE moral of the story was "don't catch," and to me for writing Finny Ciel even though I hate it.
-Moosxaxlot - To Ciel for being awesome.
-OnTheHour.EveryHour - To Finny.
-Melodious Lion - To Demyx.
-Kalana Fox - To Angelina for being so cute.
-OORRZZ - To Yaoisakka.
-greendayluvr93 - To the waiter for being landed on by both Ciel and Lizzy and for getting soaked in champange.
-Genki-angel-chan - To Sebastian for staying with Ciel.
-Genki-angel-chan - To Ciel for not aborting the baby.
-Kichi Hisaki - a piece of a cookie to Ciel, who stood up for what he believed in; a piece of a cookie to Sebastian, who was such an amazing father while he was still around; a piece of a cookie to Angeline, who is freaking adorable; and last but not least, a piece of a cookie to Madame Red, in loving memory of her.
-Misa A. chan - To the bed.
-Misa A. chan - To Sohma because fangirls should stick together yo!
-Misa A. chan - To Grell because he's always been a fave!
-Misa A. chan - To Pluto cause he should have been mentioned.
-Elena Hitachiin - To Toris.
-LeriaCossato - To Arthur cause, he's just awesome.

The Merit of Mpreg

(I'll edit this and rewrite it once I get a chance to. At the moment I'm just pissed off because I went searching for a good mpreg fic since I was tired of reading Hetalia and am still pissed at Camisado, and instead of finding an actual fic that was well written or even crappy, I ran into two “let's make fun of mpreggers cause they're all stupid” fics. So... I want to write this now!)

Mpreg. For some odd reason, in a community where cannon is just a guideline, and AU kicks ass, mpreg seems to be considered quite a curse. After all, men can't get pregnant, but perfectly straight characters with loving heterosexual relationships and even in some cases children, can go chase whatever man he would look great with, just because some fangirls want to see him with another dude can. Why? Why are there such elitist in a community where we turn the entire world upside and give it a good shake just to make other squeal and nose bleed over the cuteness?

Perhaps one reason is the quality of general mpreg. After all, most mpregs come into play when a novice writer has run out of things for her hot semi-cannon couple (-cough-Akuroku-cough-) to do. They've already dated. They've already fought. They've already cheated. They've already gotten back together and got hitched. So what's left for them to do? I know! Let them make babies! However, now might be a good chance to point out that there are in fact several well written mpreg stories. (I point quite pointedly to Misumisu's Cloud/Sora mpreg. At the moment I cannot recall the title, except for it had to do with azuki bean paste.) Several of these well written stories don't even start with the characters building their relationship, but with the character already knocked up. The main purpose of well written mpreg tends to be the pregnancy, and dealing with the drama. Very little is ever explore about the child, since the Hero's Journey (basic frame for all stories) is completed (in most cases) at the birth. Now there are always exceptions to this, (My Think Green Thought for example which starts 10 years after the birth of the child), but these tend to be general plot keys.

Another reason might be the impossibility of mpreg. Since men don't usually get pregnant it becomes hard to explain why the Uke got knocked up. However, now might be the time to mention that I can think of two men off the top of my head who have been pregnant. One was a transsexual man. The other was a man who had a womb surgically implanted into his abdominal cavity. I have yet to check back up on that story, however there is a website out there about it. Feel free to go look it up.

The reasoning for the pregnancy is always a tricky topic for the writers. Generally there are four answers used in fanfiction to explain it varying in strength. The strongest of which tends to work best in FFVII fics, where most SOLDIERS had mako injections, Jenova cells, or other things to change their “technical species”(being not quite human). (One of my personally favorites was a Zack/Cloud where the world ended and the Jenova cells in Cloud allowed Zack to knock Cloud up and restart the human population.) The second and third are equal in strength. One being some magical source (generally caused by love) allowed them get pregnant. The third is an off shot of the second, where the gender of the Uke is some how physically changed giving them the necessary equipment to bear children. (Generally seen in Kingdom Hearts fics involving Merlin's magic. Often times this is used as a birthing method.(obviously the child shouldn't be getting out the same way it came in if it was conceived anally. Imagine the tearing if they tried that!) ) The final solution is also one of my favorites, and one of the weakest. However it has a standard strength, and if one of the others is done poorly than it can supersede the others. Basically in the fourth explanation, there is no explanation. No one knows how it happened. Hell, they might not have even known they were pregnant until they were almost/are in labor.

Back to my point, Mpreg has it's merit, and it seems quite offensive to a writer/fan to be told with a quite condescending tone that there are only 4 mpreg fans in the world. Especially considering that I know more than 4 of these fans and that I have written 3 mpreg series most of which have more than 4 reviews/favs/alerts. (The one with less than that is also a major crack pairing, which gets fewer readings than “cannon” pairings.) I don't understand why mpreg can be looked down upon in a community that in and of it's self is considered to be full of nothing more than 13 year old fangirls who squeal “kawii” at anything yaoi related. (Don't get me started on those who look down on incest/twincest (I might as well go ahead and mention that if it's AU Roxas/Sora then they technically don't have to be twins, and if it's not AU then it's either not possible, or selfcest). One author made a good point that it shouldn't matter as much if there is no chance of a child being born. Damn it! A plot bunny just bit at this thought.)

If it is written well it is a challenge to write, because the writer has to explain it logically. As Elizabeth Lyon states in her book A Writer's Guide to Fiction (This is an absolutely wonderful book and I recommend it to EVERYONE!) readers have a built in bullshit meter. All author's have to beat this meter, or else they lose readers, and it is my personally belief that mpreg writers (and smut writers, but for different reasons) have a harder time beating it, because there is a lot more to keep track of and explain. (For example when things happen along the way. How the genetics of the baby work out. Etc. etc.)

I am going to draw this article to a close with a simple request. Please stop looking down on us mpreg writers, just because it is not supposed to be physically possible or because it tends to be used as a story expander. We really do try hard to please our audiences and subdue our muses, no matter how twisted they may be. Mpreg is just another category of yaoi, along with non-con, fluff, angst and crack. There is no valid reason for anyone to say that it holds less merit than any other genre. After all, they all have their stinkers that we can mock, and they all have their pulitzer prize worthy story that we can idolize. I am sorry if I have offended anyone with my opinion, but I will not be removing this article. Please feel free to challenge me on anything, and in most cases I will attempt to respond within a few days. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it. :

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Controversial Issues:
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

"i live in a small rural town in the middle of the U.S. and i watched as a two men were forced out of town when someone arsoned their house, i laughed when the arsonist was arrested.

i am one of the few that have seen true malicious hate towards homosexuals. Its really sad actually one person in town says "Oh that person is Homo" suddenly their house was torched and their lawn had "gay" burned into it.

the arsonist was a year younger than me...he was 14." - keaton dar on Gaia about homophobia.

I was born on the day of Xemnas

In the month of Saix

In the year of Xemnas, Demyx, Demyx, Xemnas

And I'm Luxord + Saix years old. You could also say that I'm Marluxia + Zexion years old. Or Demyx + Axel years old. Many more.
My favorite number is Roxas X Xaldin or ZexionDemyx

But my lucky number is Zexion (it's also the calculator I always tried to use... and Zexion is the reason I'd try to get that one... instead of like 8 or something... (evil grin))

If you get it, put your own on your profile!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BpuU4oSsWs