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Chris Gammon
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beta: β Beta Profile
since: 01-01-02, id: 147599
country: USA
Author has written 34 stories for Sonic the Hedgehog, Jackie Chan Adventures, Courage: The Cowardly Dog, Jak and Daxter, Resident Evil, Lilo & Stitch, Teen Titans, Angry Beavers, Over the Hedge, Parappa the Rapper, Viva Piñata, Super Smash Brothers, Yin Yang Yo, Cartoon X-overs, My Little Pony, Portal, Looking Glass Wars Trilogy, and Dan Vs..

Song that best describes me: ("Unwell" by Matchbox 20)

And now for my favorite two Q&A's from "Ask Satan!" (blindwino.com)

Dear hell spawn,

I recently discovered a large second opening directly above my anus...and it can speak ancient Latin! Should I just ignore his unholy ramblings, or what? - double o anus

Dear Double O,

Don't worry, I'll be sending you another one as a translator. Just be happy I don't have it swearing in Swahili, or chattering in Chinese. Everyone likes Latin.

Sing it brother,
Satan

Dear Satan:

I have always been curious as to where babies come from. They seem to just appear from nowhere. My mother tells me I came in a black plastic bag she found at the end of the street one night. Is this where most babies from, or are they dumped down the chimney by vultures like my little brother?

A Curious 9-year-old in MD

Dear Curious,

This was a matter best answered by your school before they had to start teaching ignorance and abstinence, but I'll give it a shot. When two people love each other very much, they live long happy lives without children. If they don't love each other very much, they have children so they can focus all of their confused emotions on something defenseless. Adults have babies by getting drunk enough to stand each other, thinking of other people, and clumsily groping in the dark like beached sea turtles. The vultures are just relish. I hope that clears things up.

Serve me,
Satan

And now my other fav quotes:

"Being a man takes alot of drinkin' and fightin' and screwin' and whorin'! And more drinkin' and some more fightin' and alot more whorin'!"
"That's what it takes to be a man?"
"Did I leave something out?"
-Chode and Gus toWhip (Tripping the Rift)

"Ah, the old 'can't afford to visit my sister' trick gets them everytime. Why can't they ever figure out that's me in a dress?"
-Mr. Lancer (Danny Phantom)

"Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was a great red ape named Sir Santa of Claus. He would construct pointless toys for his amusement out of animal bones and his own waste. He would then hurl them at fellow apes with crinkled hands, regardless of their behaviour the previous year. These toys were burried as witches and deficated upon. They were then thrown at predators who were awakened by the sound of laughing children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year, for many were killed.
During the great freezing, a warlike race of elves from the Red Planet arrived on the ice encrusted earth, to which they were enslaved by Santa Ape to make his toys using their mysterous elfen technology. Forever infininados. They gave these toys identifible shapes and names such as 'train'. But these too were defecated upon and thrown at predators. Christmas still sucked in a big way."
-Cybernetic Ghost (ATHF)

"I have rebuilt our nation! I HAVE REBUILT OUR PRIDE! Our enemies are being re-educated. On this day a new order has begun! On this day, those who stand to divide us will be our worst! ON THIS DAY, THEY WILL REALIZE OUR VICTORY IS IMINENT!
-Hellgats leader (Killzone commercial)

"Name..."
"Ilicka"
"Last name..."
"Lottapuss"
"That's Lithuanian right?"
-detective Dick Stanwick to a porn star (Busty Cops adult film)

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
—George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."
—George W. Bush, Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

"When I said you should find women that share your intrests, Master Bruce, this isn't what I had in mind. But it's a start."
-Alfred after seeing Batman and Catwoman on the news (The Batman)

"LOOK!"
(GASP!) "A FINGER!"
-Mr. Blik and Waffle (Catscratch)

Go to Dandyandcompany.com and to the fan art section! I got my pics there and my story there! I am a hit! Check out Rex's cameo and my Total Chaos submissions!

I am a A Rift Dragon!
Hey, I took the http://dragonhame.com online Inner Dragon quiz:
From a Rift Dragons Head to the tip of its tail, the dragon is black. Rift Dragons are cruel and merciless. The Rift Dragon's main breath weapon is an anti-matter storm that engulfs it's victims, and often causes that victim (or part thereof) to literally cease to exist.
This Dragons favorite elements are: Antimatter and Pure Evil

If you all don't know my name by now your seriously lacking in attention my friends...

It’s bad enough that I have three personalities, but the fact that they are completely different is the most frightening part! But the scariest thing of all is, I'm NORMAL!

My personality is: kind, nice, and helpful. A gentelman sometimes who refuses to not have fun. A hard worker when need be.

Rex: Makes jokes at all the wrong moments, makes off-color remarks and wrong statements. Never shuts up and thrives on pop culture as his refrences to everyday life. The side of me that annoys people.

Dark Sonic: My Rift Dragon side where anyone the pisses me off will die a thousand deaths! This personality is a combination of one of my hobbies, and my favorite icon. This character enables me to do the impossible while making it believable.

I’m an inhabinat of the Shire know as Indianapolis, IN. This state is known for corn, but I haven't seen any. INDY 500 baby!

I don’t talk to myself, I talk between my three personas. So technically, I’m not talking to myself. And if anyone else listens, does that mean I'm now talking to them?

Here are some fun facts about me:

Rabid Sonic Fan- Since I got a Genesis in 1991, Sonic has been my biggest obsession! The blue blur is never forgotten, and rivals that whats’isname plumber any day. 10 years and counting! Now I’ve matured and so has the comic series. I grew up with Sonic. I know tons of stuff about Sonic, so much that you think that's all I know.

Resident Evil Nut- Ever have the feeling that something horrible beyond imagination was lurking in the shadows. Did you think it was the boogeyman, or a new Tyrant? If you picked the later, welcome aboard! Umbrella is slowly taking over the world and we don’t know it! (“Hopefully it isn’t Chris’”!) Ask me anything about RE and I will answer! Resident Evil 4 is ultra-mega badass and RE5 looks to put even THAT to shame!

Rabid Courage the Cowardly Dog fan- SAVE THE SHOW! Go to www.mimisk8.com, where fellow author Tortured Artist has a petition to save the show. Show those Network bigwigs whose the TRUE boss!

And the rest is history!

Fav Music:
Funny, violent, profane, rap, rock, alternitive, depressing, or any combination of those catagorys.

Fav Shows:
Sonic X, AOStH, Sonic Sat.AM, Fullmetal Alchemist, Fairly Oddparents, Batman, Batman Animated, The Batman, Batman Beyond,Case Closed, Family Guy, Tripping the Rift, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Birdman Atorney at Law, Futuramma, Simpsons, Brandy & Mr. Whiskers, Lilo & Stitch, Superman Animated, Justice League, JL Ultd., Teen Titans, Ghost Hunters, Proof Positive, Sightings, Spiderman, "Ultimate" Spiderman(MTV CGI), Drawn Together, South Park, and many more.

Hobbies:
1. Playing Sonic games
2. Keeping Rex and Dark Sonic under control in my psyche!
3. Collecting Hotwheels cars and Sonic stuff (If they ever combine the two!)
4. Drawing a ton of stuff (I am dangerous with a pencil)
5. Watchin Television (too many favs to list)
6. Surfing the net
7. DVD easter egg hunter
8. Pokemon (never played or bought the games, never bought anything with them on it, and never watched the cartoon much. But I know everything about every 'mon from Red to Shappire! Call it a small interest. Bought the guides just for the pokedex's! Even Dark and Light from the card game, though I never got involved in that either.)
9. I like 2 good Digimon and 12 evil Digimon

My Hit List (er. uh...buddy list:)

Jonathan R
Gareth Paul Barbsy
Darkest Moon
Tortured Artist
Mike1204

And a bunch of other guys and gals, of which even if they stopped by once, it’s cool.

Current Projects:

Super Cool Sonic Fic- Involving alot of classic locations and a few that only diehard Sonic fans know about, this is going to be a pretty cool fic. Sonic reveals a dark secret and takes on the entire Brotherhood of Metallix in the most mysterous place in Sonic gaming history! (And I'm not talking Hidden Palace Sonic 2!)

Dual Story James Bond fic- After listening to the Propellerhead's remix of "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" and playing the game "GoldenEye: Rouge Agent" I got the idea for this cool story involving two different stroylines that will intersect into a big war.

Various Conker fics- "Conker: Live and Reloaded" gave me ideas. A crossover with Halo, and a crossover with Doom. I could put it all together and call it "Hell-No!"

So that is me, and my mind! Welcome to it, and it's a long stay! Hit me up on E-Mail or MSN Instant Messagner!

CHOW MEIN!

"It seems there's an out of control party on the planet Snorderline, with hookers, underage groupies, illigimate children, and hundereds of free loading posse members. Neghiboring planets have already called the cops 14 times."
-Six (Tripping the Rift)

"Wait a minuet! HECK hound?"
"Blameith not I! Tis your stip that claimith to be for 'all ages!'"
-Bernard Brooks and Skeezicks (Dandy&Co.)

"The universe is a yawning chasm filled with emptiness and the purile meanderings of sentience."
-Ulyoth (Eternal Darkness)

"How can they put this much mayonase on tunafish and expect people to eat it?"
"Who cares? You're invulniable to harm."
"It's not harm, it's too rich, makes me queasy."
"Then send it back."
"nah."
-Superman and Sienfeld (Sienfeld NBC short)

"There's nothing I hate more than a smartass automobile."
-KITT to KIFT (Knight2000)

If you are reading this you have overstayed your welcome. Go read Jonathan R's bio or something.


1. Dan vs Ponies reviews
How he wound up here, he doesn't know. But what he does know, is that he doesn't like it.
Crossover - My Little Pony & Dan Vs. - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,172 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 1-14-12 - Pinkie Pie & Dan
2. Kaleidoscope: Prismatic Edition reviews
Everypony has different facets of their personalities. But one has a facet that could change everything. Distraught that she couldn't help a friend, tragedy strikes, and things are never the same.
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,245 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10-14-11 - Rainbow Dash & Twilight Sparkle
3. Kaleidoscope » reviews
Everypony has different facets of their personalities. But one pony has a facet that could change everything.
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 24 - Words: 18,121 - Reviews: 24 - Updated: 7-19-11 - Published: 3-28-11
4. The Unsung Heroes » reviews
With the events of "Kaleidoscope" tearing the Elements of Harmony apart, the door is open for any nightmare Twilight Sparkle's power could conjure. Thus, in secret, Princess Luna seeks six ponies, whose only common link is being another face in the crowd.
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,560 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-15-11 - Published: 5-17-11
5. Sonic World Adventure Rush » reviews
Old foes lie in wait. Shaky alliances are formed, and warring factions seek to change history forever. It is a war that either side cannot be allowed to win.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 26 - Words: 25,868 - Reviews: 21 - Updated: 6-15-11 - Published: 7-2-10
6. A cara mia, addio! reviews
Lost, alone, and on his last days alive, a forgotten soul wanders the ruins of the facility, hoping to see the light of day before he sees nothing again.
Portal - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 941 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4-27-11 - Complete
7. Courage's Adventures in Wonderlands » reviews
Co-written by Gareth Paul Barsby! In this epic continuation, Courage must traverse the realms of imagination and the depths of his own sanity to stop an unfolding monarchy and save himself from personal damnation! Can you contain the madness?
Crossover - Cartoon X-overs & Looking Glass Wars Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 20 - Words: 61,052 - Reviews: 23 - Updated: 12-7-09 - Published: 7-31-08 - Redd H.
8. A Brief History On The Theory of Chaos Emeralds reviews
Using real history and documentation, I compile an analysis of the Chaos Emeralds tracing all the way back to the cradle of civilization.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,375 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3-18-09 - Complete
9. Black and White, Pink and Blue reviews
Yin and Yang are captured for sinister purposes, and it's up to Yang to undo this madness. Part one in a hopeful series!
Yin Yang Yo - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,670 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 5-19-08 - Complete
10. A Smashing Good Time Had By All! » reviews
While everyone else tries to do Smash Bros in their own special way, I opted for the game show route! Watch and be amazed as I pull out all the stops! Be on the look out for surprises, obscure references, and more! Now with major spoilers!
Super Smash Brothers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 22,380 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 5-7-08 - Published: 1-25-08
11. A Pinata Christmas reviews
Fergy gets sick on the brink of Christmas, and gets a visitor no one wants. To top it off, Langston wants Fergy because he's the only one who didn't ask for the holiday off.
Viva Piñata - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 816 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-24-07
12. PaRappa Remixed » reviews
PaRappa has to baby sit his little sister, Pinto. But he also wants to go on a date with Sunny. Naturally, Joe Chin swoops in and fills the void left by PaRappa. Now girlfriendless, he meets a friend of Katy Kat's. A shy little lamb girl named Lammy.
Parappa the Rapper - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,809 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 7-29-07 - Published: 7-18-07
13. The Hedge Before Christmas » reviews
RJ introduces the family to the wonders of Christmas, the holiday they always hibernated though. Verne feels RJ is being too materialisitc, and RJ has to confront his past to ensure his place in the future.
Over the Hedge - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,547 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 11-28-06 - Published: 11-13-06 - Complete
14. New York Crossover » reviews
RJ regales the family with stories of his travels, especially to one place that he never thought he'd go back too.
Over the Hedge - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,490 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 9-19-06 - Published: 7-16-06
15. Gone reviews
A one shot based on research I've done about the comic. The song is Ben Folds in case you didn't know.
Over the Hedge - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 587 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 8-19-06 - Complete
16. Resident Spoots » reviews
While playing outside Daggett finds something mysterious that leads to a whole mess of trouble. CHAP 6 UP!
Angry Beavers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,743 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 11-1-05 - Published: 9-23-05
17. Alliance reviews
The Titans are worried when Slade makes his return. But Slade is caught by suprise by someone who knows his true identity. (Note: Slade's identity is only based on my study and evidence prensented. It is in no way to be taken as the final word.)
Teen Titans - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,284 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1-12-05
18. Stitched Together: A Retelling » reviews
Chap 4 up! A retelling of the story we all know. Interesting new plot points. Same movie, different story. (spelling errors fixed!)
Lilo & Stitch - Rated: T - English - Drama/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,787 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 12-27-03 - Published: 12-20-03
19. That's Perfection! » reviews
Final 4 Chapters up! And it ain't basketball!
Courage: The Cowardly Dog - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 11,568 - Reviews: 26 - Updated: 8-31-03 - Published: 4-10-03
20. African Safari! » reviews
Chap 8 up! Insanity abound, as I bring up a debated topic, and maybe become popular! Dax talkes jak into a trip to meet supposed friends. It's really a clever ploy for Dax to meet...well, figure it out.
Jak and Daxter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,155 - Reviews: 23 - Updated: 8-4-03 - Published: 3-30-03
21. The MayTRICKs » reviews
Chap 7 Up! Humor at others disposal! Matrix Reloaded on DVD October 14th! Revolutions due in November! Must play game, see movies and see anime to understand story!
Courage: The Cowardly Dog - Rated: T - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,180 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 8-4-03 - Published: 5-4-03
22. Reign Of The Nightmare King Special Edition » reviews
Chaps 12 up! I had to up the raiting! Added elements, scenes, parts, and more violence. Withness more of the Carnival and it's twisted inabiants, as well as more of the story I didn't do the first time!
Courage: The Cowardly Dog - Rated: M - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,410 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 7-17-03 - Published: 5-5-03
23. Devils' Night » reviews
Courage meets his favorite rap group D12! But he also meets their suppressed alter egos that make the other six members of D12! Chaos ensues! Chap 4 finally up!
Courage: The Cowardly Dog - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,415 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 7-10-03 - Published: 11-13-02
24. Courage Get's Juiced! » reviews
Chap 4 up! Well, the title is vague. But reading it will explain everything! A crossover bound to happen so might as well be by me! Courage encounters the ultimate in bizarre, and may even begin to like him!
Courage: The Cowardly Dog - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,152 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 7-10-03 - Published: 6-23-03
25. The Night That You Know Who Died » reviews
Chapter 11 up! Based on a true story! Courage stumbles upon the automotive find of the century! But there is more to it than meets the eye!
Courage: The Cowardly Dog - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Horror - Chapters: 11 - Words: 6,561 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 7-10-03 - Published: 2-26-03
26. Journey Into Madness The Complete History Of Rex » reviews
Sec 2 Up! Courage finds an audiotape of Rex, describing his dark past. Courage wanted to forget his expirences with Rex, but wondered just how Rex wound up the way he is. Contains lyrics from Linkin Park, and the story begins right into the tape.
Courage: The Cowardly Dog - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,742 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6-15-03 - Published: 6-5-03
27. Twisted Metal! » reviews
Chap 4 up! For language and violence. What would happen if Twisted Metal was held in Nowhere Kansas?
Courage: The Cowardly Dog - Rated: M - English - Horror/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,575 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6-5-03 - Published: 5-12-03
28. Invaded! » reviews
Chapter 12 up! Things got a whole lot longer! A fallen satellite and a strange kid leads to a crossover of the two most disturbed cartoons ever made! Witness Courage fight the craziest invader of all!
Courage: The Cowardly Dog - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 12 - Words: 10,091 - Reviews: 21 - Updated: 4-24-03 - Published: 3-11-03
29. What A Mystery! » reviews
Chap 2 Up! Rated for alot of swearing (on Scooby's part) and graphic violence. The Mystery Inc. gang get into their biggest mystery yet. That is, if they can survive!
Resident Evil - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 988 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 4-15-03 - Published: 4-9-03
30. Courage's New Years Bash! » reviews
CHAP 5 UP! Switches with Rex and Mr Hell Show! Season One, switches noted! Muriel get's kidnapped on the first day of New Years, and it's up to Courage to get her back! But he has to go through Rex's twisted talk show!
Courage: The Cowardly Dog - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,899 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 3-13-03 - Published: 12-31-02
31. Jackie Chan Crossover Madness! » reviews
R&R PLEASE! You won't regret this trip of madness! {CHAP 3 UP!) Hillarious fic with everything Jackie and then some! Dective Carter, uninvited guests and guest villians make an appearence! This story was birthed in a high school lunchroom among friends!
Jackie Chan Adventures - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,243 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 2-7-03 - Published: 8-18-02
32. Hidden Secrets » reviews
Nack is back. But he finds more than he barganed for when he goes back for Rex. {FINAL CHAPTER!}
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 36 - Words: 33,739 - Reviews: 33 - Updated: 4-23-02 - Published: 1-8-02
33. Rexco Rising » reviews
A few swear words. How Armadillo Rex(My character) came to be and why he hates Sonic.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,967 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 3-14-02 - Published: 1-1-02
34. Project Clone: The Dark Sonic Story reviews
Kind of dark and creepy. Uses H word a few times. How my character Dark Sonic was born.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 605 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 1-2-02