I am inscrutable. In the past, innumerable people tried to scrute me but have failed miserably.

However a recent change in circumstances has persuaded me to lower my guard and foolishly raise your expectations by offering the occasional snippet of information. My name is Nick. No, really. At least it was the last time I bothered to check. And by the way, I am not an manic teenager. I think I was at one time but those days are well behind me and I am now manic in a purely creative sense. (Although once you read my stories you might wish to debate that particular point).

I am here, there and everywhere - unless The Beatles' copyright lawyer is watching, in which case I am nowhere in particular. But mostly I can be found paddling along the South Coast of England.

But the most important thing to remember about me is this. I do not take myself seriously and neither should you. For on fanfiction.net I have dedicated myself to entertainment pure and simple; and to be honest it's mostly simple.

My stories are weakly satirical in nature but not necessarily weekly in their appearance. No offence is intended. Good humour is essential. Suspension of literary sensibilities encouraged. In fact anyone who feels especially precious about specific characters or the integrity of any particular canon would be well advised to look away now. For this is satire at it's most gossamer-like and insubstantial best. Or should that be, worst?

Thank-you.

Well apparently I should have a disclaimer here saying I don't own anything. To be honest you can probably tell that as soon as you start reading my assorted scribblings. I like to think that you don't have to have a comprehensive knowledge of any character (or, come to think of it, anything whatsoever) to get into them. I must apologise to diehard fans for this. But if it's easy to get in, at least it makes it just as easy to get out! For the record I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh but I do own a rather nice pencil case and a small collection of marbles.

Oh dear! I'm so so sorry!! No, really I am. But I do have my excuses and some of them are even plausible. There was that period when I had to have a new improved hard drive slotted into my computer. It was unfortunate they delivered the wrong one to the workshop, and worse still when the right one turned out to be faulty. That started the slide. My escape from literature (and who wouldn't want to escape my literature?) allowed me to turn to the gratuitous gorging of chocolate and other similarly calorific displacement activities. The neck injury hardly helped either and simply made staring at the screen rather painful. Paying an osteopath lots of dosh made it hurt even more. But I do intend to finish this bloody thing! I know the road to hell is paved with good intentions but I have more than enough good intentions to finish the paving and move on to the story too. In the meantime thanks for your messages - I hope I caught up and didn't forget to fire off replies? As ever, the reviewing continues unabated. Often in clumps but unabated neverthless! Watch this space...or rather the space after the one I've just filled up. One day it will contain fresh words and THEN you will be sorry!!

Nick

PS Sorry about the exclamations marks. Overusing them is a terrible bad habit of mine! There, told you!!