Name: Ashley

Age: 20

DOB: 5-8-89

Eyes: Pacific Blue

Hair: Blond

Height: 5'8

Fav. Fics: Transformers & Predator

Fav. Char.: (G1)- Jazz, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Prowl, Mirage, Bluestreak, Tracks, Skywarp, Thundercracker, Starscream, Blitzwing

(Armada)- Hot Shot, Blurr, Jetfire, Sideswipe, Starscream

Well everyone it seems that I have more bad news for you. Last Friday i was at deviantart when i received a virus from visiting this site. It completely wiped out my virus protection program. i can no longer get to anything on my computer. My father has contacted a friend of ours who knows how to deal with these kind of problems. But he lives in Washington and we have to do this over the phone. As of right now it doesn't look like I'll be writing any stories in the near future. There also is a large possibility that we may either have to wiped my whole computer or buy myself a new one. And seeing as how i lose all my files in either situation I'm not happy right now. I also appologize to Starseed seeing as how i was her beta and she has sent me all of her stories too I'm upset that I won't be able to help her for a while.

Alright everyone. Seeing as i have lost the email to my first account this is where i shall be putting my stories. I didn't plan this so I'm sorry to those who are probably gonna hate me. I shall see how things work out. And if anything, I should be the one thats pissed off the most. All my stories are gonna lose all those reviews. Thats what I'm mad about the most.

Hey to all my loyal fans. You've probably noticed that i haven't been updating a lot like i use to. You see when i got out of high school i was given a year off before deciding what i wanted to do. And i had all this free time and ideas that wanted to be done. But now that year is over and i'm trying to get into a college right now. i failed to get into the fall classes so now i have to wait for the winter classes. i still have plenty of time over my me but i figured something else out. i've stopped updating as much because its the only thing i can do. i've felt like i have to write instead i want to write. and that just takes all the fun away from being here. people are telling me they want updates and i can understand that but threatening me that they leave my stories for good is not gonna help matters. i'm hoping that when i get into college i'll be wanting to write again because it will probably be the only fun thing in life at the time. So i'm sorry if you're waiting for me. i just haven't been wanting to write for a while. and forcing myself to write a chapter will make a very boring and stupid chapter. So i hope you can all bear with me and just be patient. later.

Here are some things i just want to put on my bio.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but i'm just random. If you're random and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever asked a stupid, obvious question, copy this into your profile.

If you hate really obnoxious snobby people, please copy this into your profile.

If you think the government should make leeves, not war, copy this into your profile.

If you love chocolate as much as i do, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy this into your profile.

If your skin is always really cold, copy this into your profile.

If you love God with all your heart and are 100 proud of it, copy this into your profile.

You know you live in 2007 when...

1.) You accidently enter your password on your microwave.

2.) You haven't played soliture with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is cause they don't have myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote then push the buttons on the T.V.

6.) Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep smiling and nodding your head.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scroll back to see number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you did that, and you know you did.

If you ever pushed on a door that said pull, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you are part of the 5 who aren't, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Celyna, ShadowShapeshifterAndHerCat, Sanoon, Lord Cargyle, Silverlycan, FamilyRose, Kiraille, GrayMoonStar, JanetJadeDragons, Blood Shifter.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you are part of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy this into you profile.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breath anymore. Put this into your profile if you are part of the 8 that would be laughing your ass off.

If you have ever copied or pasted something into your profile, copy or paste this into your profile. The irony.

If you are obsessed with FanFiction, copy this into your profile.

I cdnuot blveiee taht i cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phannmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at a Cmabgrdie Uniervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the fisrt and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the hmaun mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and i awlyas toghuht slpelnig

was ipmorantt! Taths so cool!

If you could understand that put it into your profile.

I don't care what you say! If you think this copy this into your profile.

I'm bored. If you're bored then copy this into your profile so as to let the whole world know you have nothing to do.

If you think life without computers is useless then copy this into your profile.

If you have an army of purple cats with rabies and flamethrowers at your command, copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died, copy this into your profile.

If you have a scary crush on a book, anime or game character then copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours reading or writing or a combiantion of both, copy this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul, copy this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy this into your profile.

If you read other peoples profile to copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile.

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't copy this into your profile.

!eliforp rouy otni siht ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irrating mosquitos giving you bites, copy this into your profile.

If you like to write, copy this into your profile.

If you think writing FF stories is fun, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever wanted to slap someone, copy this into your profile.

If your friends are weird, copy this into your profile.

My best friend is insane. If you have a best friend who is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen an adult act like a gangster or talk slang and were freaked out by it, copy this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy this into your profile.

If you support Captain Jack Sparrow and his JAR OF DIRT, copy this into your profile.

If you've actually tried counting how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, copy this into your profile.

If you think Writers Block sucks, copy this into your profile.

If you have been on the computer for hours on end, reading countless fanfiction stories, copy this to your profile and add you name to the list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, Akatsukifan, Elmocrazy, Xxkimimaro's-little-stalkerxX, SakuraUmeTheDeadSheNinja, Sabaku no Kurai, Breezy411, blood shifter.

If you have ever wondered what you would be like in another dimension, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of the Internet population has a Myspace. If you are part of the 2 percent that can resist stupid fads, copy this into your profile.

If you have the tendency to talk to yourself, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen down the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty(horse slaughter, bear baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery, etc.), copy this into your profile.

Paste this into your profile if you are a Procrastination addict.

If you have ever wanted to scream to the world that you hated or liked someone, copy this into your profile.

If you hear the voices of your characters in your head, please copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy this to make it longer.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you aren't me, copy this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy this into your profile.

RIP Steve Irwin. Copy this in your profile as a memorial.

If you've ever met your near twin( in resemblance or personality) copy this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent who would ask, "What was your first clue?" copy this into your profile and add your name to the list. Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Mason Cullen, Alice001, Emeraldman, ShadedHope, Organization of 13 Ninjas, Breezy411, Blood Shifter.

If you are actually one of these weirdos who reads this stuff and puts it in your profile, go get a life.

If you like copying and pasting things, copy and paste this in your profile and add your name to the list. 3 Days Grace, Breezy411, Blood Shifter.

If you think that girls should rule the world and be a better place then copy this into your profile.

30 percent of kids go to college.The other 70 percent either drop out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are part of the 30 percent that knows they are going to college then copy this and add your name to the list. EcoliandDahChihuahua, Gaara's-pandachan101, The Quiet Listener, CrazyGirlOfManyNames, Breezy411, Blood Shifter.

If you think Yami's the reincarnation of a sex god, copy this to your profile/signature!

If you're a Yaoi fangirl and proud of it then copy this to your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into a song, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you love the book Twilight, copy this to your profile!

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

Crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a padded room. I loved that room. I died in that room. They buried me with three daisies. Two grew up, one grew down. It tickled my nose, it drove me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a padded room. I loved that room. I died in that room. They buried me with three daisies. Two grew up, one grew down. It tickled my nose, it drove me crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once...If you can relate to this, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this, put this on your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, copy this into your profile.

!!STOP THE PARING WAR!!
By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them.
You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else. You shalt have your opinions but shalt not insult pairings. You shalt avoid them if you hate them. And you shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing.

If you're scared/angry at time because you know that it likes to torture you by going by really slowly when your bored and really quickly when your having fun, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.

A large percentage of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you are one of the ones that do and want to deck 'em, put this in your profile.

The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me coloured?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
(Post this on your profile if you hate racism.)

Even when you cant see him God is there! If you believe in God put this in your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

AUTOBOTS! If you are on the side of the righteous Autobots paste this onto your profile!

Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image. Five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy and paste this into your profile.

Stereotyping others is just plain wrong. "Muslims are all terrorists!" WRONG. "Americans are all war-mongering assholes!" WRONG. "Black people are all gangsters/drug dealers!" WRONG. "Australians ride around in kangaroo pouches!" Now that is just stupid. If you're sick of people judging others because of their race, religion, nationality, or anything else, copy this onto your profile.

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself, copy this into your profile.

If you don't use Myspace and are proud enough to make it public, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are extremely obsessed with British boys, and their accents, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people think you're mentally insane, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your friends are always telling you to shut up, but you don't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your friends are considering torturing you to shut up about a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile.

This is about a little girl who was abused, if you care, copy and paste this in your profile

My name is sarah I am but three,

My eyes are swollen I cannot see,

I must be stupidI must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up All day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself Against the wall.

I try and hide From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more,

I finally get free And I run for the door.

He's already locked it And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its much too late now, His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

If you actually gasped/screamed when the story above ended with murdered me, copy and paste this into your profile...

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.

HOMOPHOBIA IS GAY

I am the boy who never finished school because I was called a fag everyday.

I am the girl who got kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I was a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they wouldn't allow my partner of 27 years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up to the nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family i have ever had. I wished they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before my high school graduation. It was just too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one bedroom for two men.

I am the one person who does not know which bathroom to use so the management doesn't come for me.

I am the mother who is not even allowed to see the children I bore, nursed and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the father who never hugged my son because I grew up afraid to show affection to males.

I am the Home Ec teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians could teach it.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized i was transsexual.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because i don't believe, but because they closed the doors to my kind.

I am the girl ashamed to tell my own friends that I am a lesbian because they make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men said they needed to 'teach me a lesson'.

I am the person who needs to hide what this world needs the most: love.

IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG- REPOST THIS

My Favorite Quotes

I just realized...i don't care.

I'm not antisocial, i just don't like you.

Don't hate me because i'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks i'm beautiful.

Anything boys can do, GIRLS CAN DO BETTER.

If you need me, i'll be on my pedestal.

Coffee...do stupid things faster and with more energy.

Ah shit, you're gonna try and cheer me up, aren't you?

Deja vu- when you've done something you think you've done before, its because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends to see.

A friend will call you in jail. A good friend will visit you in jail. A best friend will be sitting in jail with you saying, "That was awesome!"

Friends may give you an alibai but brothers will help hide the body.

You can't make someone love you. You can only stalk them and hope for the best.

Frankly, if you've never stuck your tongue in a light socket, you'll never understand.

Woman, without her, man is nothing.

If you're not living life on the edge then you're taking up space.

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving isn't for you.

Best friends are the people who know all about you and still put up with you.

Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have a nice day.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

Everyone has photographic memory, some just don't have film.

42.5 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of bad memory.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

All those who believe in telekenesis, please raise my hand.

The early bird may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ok, so what is the speed of dark?

If everything seems to be going well, then you've obviously overlooked something.

Depression is merely anger without the enthusiasm.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excure for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Hard works pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

I intend to live forever...so far, so good.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

If at first you don't succeed destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

The only reason I'm listening to music is to drown out the sound of your voice!

Careful of that light at the other end of the tunnel. It could be another train coming for you.

If you can't fix it with duct tape then you haven't used enough.

Smile and the world will smile with you. Laugh and the world will think you're on drugs.

I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life.

Lifes tough. Get a helmet!

I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on ebay.

Cleverly disgusied as a responsible adult.

If we quit voting will they all go away?

YOU! Out of the gene pool- NOW!

How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he's lost?

All men are animals. Some just make better pets.

Politicians and diapers both need to be changed and for the same reason.

Roadhead cures roadrage.

Normal people worry me.

Those that think they know everything annoy those of us that do.

Don't regret doing things. Regret getting caught.

None of us are virgins. Life has screwed us all.

Everyone in life has a purpose, even if it serves to be a bad example.

If you die, i'll kill you!

There are some days i just don't feel like talking.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but the moments that take our breath away.

The only reason i talk to myself is because that i'm the only one whose answers i'll accept.

Find a guy that adores you and not one you adore.

Learn from the mistakes of others because you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

They say the truth will set you free. If thats true then why is it everytime i tell the truth, i'm sent to my room?

Love is like heaven but hurts like hell.

Look up for inspiration, down for concentration but don't look side to side for information.

You tried, you failed and the lesson is, never try.

I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down.

Dying is just natures way of saying, "Hey! You're not alive anymore."

Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gurgle.

I tried sniffing coke once but the ice cubes got stuck up my nose.

The whole world is going to hell and i'm driving the bus.

Don't criticize my mess unless you want to be a part of it.

I have a mind like a steel trap; its rusty and illegal in 47 states.

A good essay is 10 inspiration, 15 perspiration and 75 desperation.

It is NOT my fault that i never learned to accept responsibility.

If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, then lie.

It takes 42 muscles to smile so just pick up your middle finger and say 'bite me' in a bitchy tone.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

No man is worth your tears and the one that is won't make you cry.

I'm smiling because i have no idea whats going on.

Curiousity didn't kill the cat...curiousity made the kittens.

I'm sure that someone cares that you're alive...its just not me.

I never meant to hurt you but you're pretty when you cry. I never really loved you but I'm pretty when i lie.

When you're born you're crying but everyone around you is smiling. Live your life so that when you die you're smiling but everyone around you is crying.

There are easier things in life then finding a good man. Nailing jell-o to a tree for instance.

If a safety pin, duct tape or a band-aid can't fix it then you have a serious problem.

Virginity is like a balloon. One prick, gone.

I'm not spoiled, just well taken care of.

I make sounds only other freaks can hear.

Girls live in heaven, boys live on the couch.

If the world is a theater, men need better lines.

I'll shop, I'll buy, in debt I will die.

So much money, so little is mine.

Love is blind, so i'm blind too.

If it wasn't meant to be, i can't follow.

Keep going and you will get hurt.

Do you know what the Chain of Command is? It's the chain I go and get to beat you with to show you who's in command.

An original idea? That shouldn't be too hard. The library is bound to be full of them.

If you itch for success, keep scratching.

The greatest pleasure in life is to accomplish what others say you cannot.

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

It's hard to be an intimidating, evil dictator when you're pink and glow in the dark.

When in doubt, Google. It has proven useful time and again.

It was boredom that turned perfectly sensible people into morons and lunatics, casting common sense and decency into the wind. It was boredom that told the ninja that doing something was a really good idea when it was a really, really bad idea.

You say psycho like its a bad thing.

If at first you don't succeed, blow it up and say you did.

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

Get your facts fast; then you can distort them as much as you want.

If I ever find out I've got a terrible illness and am going to die in a few days; I'm going to go on a killing spree, I mean, what's the worst they can do to me, make me live longer? And I'm not gonna kill innocent people, just people who deserve it.

Don't blame me. It was my evil twin.

I'm waiting for my true love or the mothership. Whichever comes first.

Half my brain went for a walk and the other half went to find it.

Growing old is manditory. Growing up is optional.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Come to the dark side. We have cookies and better dental insurance.

Big shiny things usually cause big problems.

I may be a bitch but I'm the bitch and that tops bitch to you.

I swear if it weren't for my friends I would have burned down the school long ago.

Life sucks. Deal with it.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...but you sure are screwed when that woman is a sorceress.

If I were able I'd live in one of my fantasy books. Why? Because reality sucks and I'd be able to have a bigger role in life.

Let them come. They will all burn.

I love you but I hate you and it's not fair.

Forget a knight in shining armor. I want a vampire in a silver volvo.

It's not thunder. It's baseball!

WARNING! Everything you say will make me think of Edward.

I want Emment to be my big brother, Alice to be my best friend and Edward to be my boyfriend.

TWILIGHT! It's not an obsession, It's a way of life.

TWILIGHT! I've read the book. I've seen the movie. I lost my heart. So I bought a T-shirt.

When you live forever, what do you live for?

You'll never know who you'll meet in biology.

Boys in books are just better.

I don't suffer from O.C.D, I enjoy every minute of it. Obsessive. Cullen. Daydreaming.

The Last thing i want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

I took the The Ultimate Transformers Quiz and... I'm Hot Rod.

Notes To Self...Of DOOM!

1. Do not introduce yourself as roleplaying character in public.

2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public.

3. Do not answer fictional characters in public.

4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.

5. Do not go out in public.

6. Disregard last number. Do numbers 1-4.

7. Note Expressions.

8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you.

9. Floor is slippery when wet.

10. Lake is slippery when dry.

11. Only talk to strangers you know.

12. Strangers you don't know are spies...kill them all.

13. For legal purposes be sure to delete last note.

14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.

15. Kill them for security purposes.

16. Crying doesn't slove anything. Try violent mood swings.

17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible.

18. The men in white coats are not your friends.

19. Ask them for a room full of sharp, pointy objects.

20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.

21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, not the best cure for drowning.

22. Flammable and immflammable mean the same thing.

23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.

24. Always remember, uh...uh...damn.

25. Train army of flying monkeys.

26. Goldfish don't like milk.

27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.

28. Find out who invented the word 'pianist'.

29. People are staring at you.

30. So act insane.

31. People are weird but not as weird as me.

32. Do not taunt animals at the zoo. They have feelings...and teeth.

33. Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.

34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do it as much as possible.

35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry, it's only me. Bonding.

36. Never pet a burning dog.

37. Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you're wearing a parka.

38. Naked men dig parkas.

39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.

40. You know what would look good on you?

41. Immolated cockroaches.

42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.

43. The size of Danny DeVito.

44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.

45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.

46. Stalking is fun. Do it a lot.

47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree."

48. No matter what people say. There is a way into your fantasy world.

49. The way is rum.

50. Constipated people don't give a sh-t.

51. The Ten Steps to Dying.

a. Fall down.

b. Be rushed to hospital.

c. Not be saved.

d. Be mourned over.

e. Be buried in dirt.

f. Have your grave looted.

g. Rot.

h. Rot.

i. Rot.

j. Have your bones reanimated and used for pain, destruction and terror.

52. You cannot kill the snow.

53. The snow can kill you.

54. Grass can kill you too.

55. The leprechan on the ceral box said i couldn't get his lucky charms.

56. Catch and castrate leprechan.

57. He is real...no matter what the men in white say.

58. Staple paper in the middle of the page.

59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.

60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.

61. Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.

62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul-sucking demon.

63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

64. Go ask Senior Diablo for bigger pitchfork.

65. Remember to kill HIM.

66. Tell the small children in the TOYS 'R' US that the dolls have an insatible thrist for blood.

67. Note reactions. Avoid parents.

68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.

69. Scream. Doctors don't like it; they give you a shot of something nice.

70. Hide the bodies. Otherwise people will ask embarrassing questions.

71. Eat the evidence.

72. But not if its broken glass.

73. If in the presence of someone much wiser then you, point in a random direction and shout, "LOOK, a distraction." Then run.

74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats little children.

75. Disregard last note.

76. Note reactions.

77. On average, 100 people choke to death by ball point pens every year.

78. Stock up on ball point pens.

79. Learn to fly. Tell no one.

80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

81. Do not stick fingers in a blender.

82. Blender...Bad...Ouch.

83. Blood loss is bad.

84. Find way to reattach fingers.

85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.

86. Answer every question with a question.

87. Ask people what gender they are.

88. Note reactions.

89. Refer to people as mortal.

90. The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.

91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.

92. Start by drowning them in fire ants.

93. Find the creators of pop-up messages.

94. Kill them.

95. Brutally.

96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.

97. Dunk head in boiling water.

98. Disregard last note. Was written by voice #7.

99. Guillible is written on the ceiling.

100. Investigate this whole 'critical mass' when the klaxon dies down.

REMEMBER WHEN?

Remember When
getting HIGH meant swinging on a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy is COOTIES?
when MOM was your hero?
and DAD was the man you were gonna marry?
and your WORST ENEMIES were your siblings?
and RACE ISSUES were about who ran the fastest?
when WAR was a card game?
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP

PUT THIS IN YOUR PROFILE IF YOU'RE STILL 5 INSIDE-NO MATTER WHAT AGE YOU ARE!

19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
1.) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2.) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3.) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4.) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In'.
5.) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6.) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'.
7.) Finish all your sentences with 'In Accordance with the Prophecy'.
8.) Don't use any punctuation.
9.) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10.) Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.) Specify that your drive-through order is 'To go'.
12.) Sing along at the Opera.
13.) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14.) Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15.) Five days In advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16.) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17.) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won! I won!'
18.) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling ’Run for your lives! They're loose!'
19.) Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'

Natural Highs
1.) Falling in love.
2.) Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3.) A hot shower.
4.) No lines at the supermarket.
5.) A special glance.
6.) Getting mail.
7.) Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8.) Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9.) Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10.) Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11.) Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12.) A bubble bath.
13.) Giggling.
14.) A good conversation.
15.) The beach.
16.) Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17.) Laughing at yourself.
18.) Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you.
19.) Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20.) Running through sprinklers.
21.) Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22.) Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23.) Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS.
25.) Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26.) Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27.) Your first kiss (with the one you love).
28.) Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29.) Playing with a new puppy.
30.) Having someone play with your hair.
31.) Sweet dreams.
32.) Hot chocolate
33.) Road trips with friends.
34.) Swinging on swings
35.) Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36.) Making chocolate chip cookies.
37.) Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38.) Holding hands with someone you care about.
39.) Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40.) Watching the expression on someones face as they open a much desired present from you.
41.) Watching the sunrise.
42.) Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43.) Knowing that somebody misses you.
44.) Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45.) Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder and Your hand over my mouth.

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.

FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

FRIENDS: Will watch my pets when I go away.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't let me go away.

FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down.
BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because she tripped me.

FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me.

FRIENDS: Ask me for my number.
BEST FRIENDS: Ask me for her number.

FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops.
BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they're after me in the first place.

FRIENDS: Let me make an idiot of myself in public.
BEST FRIENDS: Are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too.

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why I have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mister and Missess, Grandma by Grandma and Grandpa by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM, Grandma, GRANNY and Grandpa, GRAMPS.

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We messed up!" OR "LET'S DO IT AGAIN NEXT WEEK!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

A friend helps you up when you fall, a best friend continues walking while saying "Walk much, dumbass?"
A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain, a best friend takes yours and says, "Run, dumbass, run!"
A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected, a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend would be in the cell next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
Friends will ask why you are crying, but best friends already have a shovel ready to bury the asshole that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this stuff!

Your One and Only Wish
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don’t cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are Down.

3. If you’re initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to Blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you Fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but The memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life Changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your Soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time But will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do Anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Every time there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

~Copy and paste this on your profile if you're a true Twilighter/Fanpire/etc...~

Stephenie Meyer, the sane ones say they love you.

The amazing ones like me worship you and call Twilight the 'sacred and holy text'.

And the ones who are insane because they hate you and Twilight? Oh, they are the werewolves of our lives!

(Who we vow to hunt down and murder!!)

((I made it up, but, copy it if it describes your love for Twilight and SM.))

I would like to say, if you hate Twilight, run for your lives. We're coming for you.

There's a girl in my mirror Crying tonight. And there's nothing i can say To make her feel alright.

I will never regret loving you ...only believing you loved me too.

She refuses to trust anyone, Because she refuses to get hurt again.

I'm always the friend never the girlfriend.

Im just the girl standing in the background of all the happy people.

Sometimes the pain's too strong to bare. And life gets so hard you just don't care. You feel so alone you just sit and cry. Every second you wish you could die. Then you start thinking 'who would care?' If one day they woke up-and you weren't there.

Kill her. Go ahead Make her dreams come true

When you look in the mirror And don't like what you see You can find out first hand What it's like to be me.

Boys just break hearts so why cant we break them first.

I dont care when you threaten to bite me because deep down I want you to.

There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth

I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have! ( I don't really have ADD )

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

You call me a B well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, i just have many thou- OH A SQUIRREL!

Elmo knows where you live!

Forever isn't as long as it use to be.

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

You're intoxocated by my very presence

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES and EDWARD ANTHONY FREAKING MASEN CULLEN!!

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tastey!

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

-BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.

-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

-BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool!

- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

-Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. -

- What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'

- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

- He who laughs last didn't get it.

- When there's a will, I want to be in it.

-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Ask, "Did you feel that?"

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Tell people that you can see their aura.

Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

Hold an auction.

Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.

Throw a rave.

Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."

Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"

Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"

Have a heated debate with yourself.

Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

Drum on every available surface.

Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

Propose to the other passengers.

Challenge people to duels.

Sell girl scout cookies.

Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.

Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.

Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.

Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.

Shout "Food fight!"

Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

Elevators were practically MADE for river dancing!

Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

Make sushi.

Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."

Shave.

Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

Practice your kung fu.

Make race car noises when people get on and off.

Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

Fly a model airplane.

Do yoga.

Play the accordion

Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! )

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

If you hate stereotypes copy and paste this onto your profile (Bold-ones you are)

Im SKINNY so I MUST be anorexic
Im EMO so I MUST cut myself
Im Black so I MUST carry a gun
Im BLONDE so I MUST be stupid
Im JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed
Im HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat
Im ASIAN so I MUST be a genius
Im JEWISH so I MUST be greedy
Im GAY so I MUST have AIDS
Im a LESBIAN so I MUST be butch
Im ARAB so I MUST be a terrorist
I SPEAK MY MIND so I MUST be a bitch
Im CHRISTIAN so I MUST think gay people should go to Hell
Im a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER so I WILL go to Hell
Im ATHIEST so i MUST hate the world
I HAVE NO RELIGION so I MUST be evil and have no morals
Im a GUY so I MUST only want to get in your pants
Im IRISH so I MUST have a drinking problem
Im a CHEERLEADER so I MUST be a whore
I wear SKIRTS alot so I MUST be a slut
Im RICH so I MUST be conceited
Im NOT a VIRGIN so I MUST be easy
Im a TEENAGE MOTHER so I MUST be irresponsible
I HAVE/HAD GOOD GRADES so I MUST have no social life
Im into MUSICALS so I MUST be homosexual
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be sleeping with them all
Im a VEGETARIAN so I MUST be a crazy political activist
Im GERMAN so I MUST be a Nazi
I hang out with GAY people so I MUST be gay too
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be a prude
Im a girl who ACTUALLY EATS LUNCH so I MUST be fat
Im SINGLE so I MUST be ugly
Im BISEXUAL so I MUST think everyone i see is hot
Im INTELLIGENT so I MUST be a loser
Im a FEMINIST so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and hate all men
Im ENGLISH so I MUST either be posh or cockney, love tea and cricket and have bad teeth (my teeth are very clean thank you)
I care about the ENVIRONMENT so I MUST be a hippy
I like READING so I MUST be a loner
I CRY EASILY so I MUST be a wimp
I don't like talking about my PERSONAL life so I MUST be having problems
Im a GOOD LIAR so I MUST be a good actor/actress
Im a MUSICIAN so I MUST be doing nothing with my life