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ashleysays
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beta: β Beta Profile
since: 01-20-08, id: 1479662, Profile Updated: 06-23-12
country: USA
Author has written 7 stories for Naruto.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto...just the plots of my stories...

ASHLEY SAYS...

age: 21
favorite color: red
favorite pairing: a tie between kakasaku and sasusaku
dream for the future: become a japanese translator

I'd just like to say that I am very thankful to anybody who reads and reviews my work, so...feel free to review as much as you would like and criticize as you wish...

If you believe in Jesus Christ please put this in your bio. Please do not ignore this because Jesus said in the Bible "If you deny Me, I will deny you in front of My Father at the gates of Heaven

In Honor of Stupid People

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how??...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


1. While You Were Out » reviews
Sasusaku drabbles and oneshots of varying length. Mostly rated M. Lemons. please read and review. sakura X sasuke
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 87,725 - Reviews: 84 - Updated: 5-6-13 - Published: 4-18-11 - Sakura H. & Sasuke U.
2. Natural Born Killers » reviews
After escaping from Konoha's Hospital for the mentally deranged, Sasuke kidnaps Sakura to use her as a necessary hostage. But when Sakura finds herself willingly aiding him in his murders, she can't help but wonder if insanity is contagious. Especially when she finds herself lusting after the very man who ruined her. Rated M: SasukexSakura. lemons and shenanigans.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 130,876 - Reviews: 204 - Updated: 1-23-13 - Published: 6-5-12 - Sakura H. & Sasuke U.
3. Monogamist » reviews
I wouldn't call myself a monogamist, nor a philanderer. Though three of my subordinates would call me a sarcastic old pervert who reads porn novels all day . I just didn't plan on waking up to my student in my bed...kakasaku, rated M...
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 29,899 - Reviews: 141 - Updated: 9-21-12 - Published: 10-18-08 - Sakura H. & Kakashi H.
4. Method To Madness » reviews
After a run in with enemy ninja and their failed jutsu, Sakura finds herself landed in Konoha's insane asylum. "The people running this place are the real crazy ones." KakaSaku/Sasusaku
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,561 - Reviews: 35 - Updated: 9-21-12 - Published: 1-31-09 - Sakura H. & Kakashi H.
5. This Is For The Outcasts » reviews
After catching fire to her old house, setting out on a morbid adventure for a new home, and accidentally witnessing a raven-haired young man "doing the dirty" with her shop keeper, Sakura finds herself continually bumping into him in the strangest of places. And the fact that he seems keen on ruining her reputation does not help at all. RATED M for lemons, language, etc.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,906 - Reviews: 24 - Updated: 9-21-12 - Published: 6-5-12 - Sakura H. & Sasuke U.
6. Makeshift for Love reviews
He fit his well-fitted jeans back onto his body. "What will you do? Tell her you love her? Kiss her goodbye?" This was only supposed to be a one time thing. A mistake...kakasaku
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 618 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2-1-10 - Kakashi H. & Sakura H. - Complete
7. Playground Fortunes reviews
When we were kids, team seven would lurk in the playgrounds until dusk. But now we're older...we can do more than play... Kakasaku. possible a oneshot, depending on what reviews say...
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,505 - Reviews: 26 - Published: 2-8-09 - Kakashi H. & Sakura H. - Complete
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