Favorite book: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

Favorite movie: Twilight & 17 Again (I LOVED THAT MOVIE!!)

Favorite song: If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickleback

Favorite color: Blue

Favorite flower: Casablanca lillies and roses

One Life To Live

By Anonymous

Laugh your heart out,

Dance in the rain,

Cherish the memories

Ignore the pain,

Learn & Love,

Forget & Forgive,

Because remember

You only have,

One Life To Live.

Things to Know and Questions to Think About

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

If rabbits' feet are so luck, then what happened to the rabit?

A day without sunshine is like...night.

There is such thing as a glass that never breaks. It's called plastic.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you steel a copy of Eclipse from your friend and read it every night and when he\she asks for it back you keep making up excuses not to!! Crazy is when you run through the public pool yelling "I love Edward Cullen!!" and enjoy it. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

I understand how scissors can beat paper, and i get how rock can beat scissors, but there is noooo way paper can beat rock! Is paper supposed to magically wrap itself around the rock and leave it immobile? If so why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't there pieces of paper constantly suffocating people as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, cause paper can't beat anything! A rock would tear that crap in seconds. When i play rock/paper/scissors i always pick rock. Then when someone claims to have beaten me with their paper i can punch them in the face and say "Oh sorry I thought paper would protect you!!"

People say I am a book lover. I say I am obsessed. I can say I have more books then I will probably ever read in my life time but I feel like I just might read them all some day.

I love music as much as I love books and when I am reading I usually have it playing in the back ground. I think each book I have read has it's own soundtrack. There are just songs out there that make me think of the books I am reading or have read.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost

Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Will help me learn to drive

Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away

Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down

Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will bail me out of jail

Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up"

Friend: Will go to a concert with me

Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."

Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

Friend: Asks me for my number

Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: Hides me from the cops

Best Friend: Is probably the reason the cops are after me in the first place

Friend: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public

Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friend: Will comfort me when he breaks up with you.

Best Friend: Will call him, whispering 'Seven days...

I can only please one person per day - myself

Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Never try, never fail.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand Edward.

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?

Ooooo...a life. Where can I download one?

I apologize, do you want me to mean it too?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"All those who have telekinesis, raise my hand."

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

Fake is the new trend. I guess everyone’s in style.

So what I’ve got a smile on, but it’s hiding the quiet superstitions in my head.

Yes I may be smiling, but I’m secretly laughing at your face.

I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

I love my computer, because my friends live in it.

If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing

Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.

Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research.

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?

Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."

- Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.

- Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

- There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.