πεπεισμαι γαρ οτι ουτε θανατος ουτε ζωη ουτε αγγελοι ουτε αρχαι ουτε δυναμεις ουτε ενεστωτα ουτε μελλοντα

ουτε υψωμα ουτε βαθος ουτε τις κτισις ετερα δυνησεται ημας χωρισαι απο της αγαπης του θεου της εν χριστω ιησου τω κυριω ημων

-- Romans 8:38-39

Sooo...hey there. I have very limited ability in what I can write. Namely, I can write (low quality) Percabeth stories. What the heck is that?! It's the romance between Percy Jackson, a demigod son of Poseidon, and Annabeth Chase, a demigod daughter of Athena, from Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson and the Olympians series.

It's cute. It's cannon. Need I say more?

How To Write Compelling Fanfiction, by Crayola Markers

Compelling, I said, not necessarily "good". I'm not going to say I know what "good" fanfiction is. I mean, come on, guys. This is FANFICTION. There's a reason we aren't published and selling books. But if you want to tell a good story, get people interested, and (okay) get tons of reviews to boost your self-esteem, there are a few tricks. I'm using PJO as examples, because most people viewing this profile like PJO. In order of importance, from most important to minor details:

1. Have an original take on an (admittedly already used) idea.

There's no such thing as an "original idea" anymore. EVERY IDEA YOU HAVE has been come up with before, just in a different way. That should be a relief. There's no pressure to "make up an idea" for your fanfiction--it already exists, somewhere. You can get these ideas from your own life, movies you like, TV shows, fairy tales, books, even other fanfic.

Warning: Just be sure you ACTUALLY get original with the idea. Because guess what, if you think, "Oh, I like that one scene in Glee when Finn says blahblahblah to Rachel, then they kiss!"

You can't just write an almost word-for-word piece of dialog like that scene, using Annabeth and Percy instead of Finn and Rachel. Even if people don't watch Glee, they aren't stupid. It will sound like you didn't come up with it. Use vague ideas or the general gist of a scene--don't do a "script transplant" and change the character names.

This seems obvious to a lot of people, but it's surprising how often you'll do it anyway. (At least if you're me :D)

2. Remember characters are more than a pile of names.

As much as we like makeovers, everybody knows Annabeth will not spontaneously decide to straighten her hair and wear red stilettos in order to entice other guys and make Percy jealous. I mean, you have a brain. Does that sound like Annabeth? ...No. You know that.

But often we'll forget WHY people read fanfiction. It's a little bit because we like the story it's based on, but it's a lot because we like the characters it's based on. Honestly, nobody cares about some random, personality-devoid characters you just made up. That sounds mean but it's true.

And calling that personality-devoid, stiletto-wearing character "Annabeth" won't make her the same "Annabeth" from the PJO series. In short, if you don't stick to the characters' personalities...nobody will care about your fanfiction, because they just won't buy it.

A lot of people are good at getting the character's attitude exactly right (they'll make Annabeth smart/sassy, for instance), but their actions just don't match up (for instance, she'll go ahead and straighten her hair anyway). It's just like in real life--actions speak louder than words. Don't forget to make the character actually DO things in character, too.

(And before you start saying, HYPOCRITE, I'll go ahead and admit I'm totally guilty of forgetting this guideline on several occasions ;) ).

3. Don't spell/use grammar like a second grader.

Pretty obvious, but still good to remember. Some of us are excellent spellers, some of us aren't, but still. You have spellcheck, you have an education, use it. There are plenty of guides on the internet about grammar if you're confused, so there's really no reason why you shouldn't have impeccable grammar. An occasional slip's all right; misspelling everything just makes you look stupid, and nobody will respect you.

Also, no offense meant to second graders. There are plenty of very intelligent second graders out there who can write better than some seventh-graders.

4. The beginning of your fanfic should never be too happy.

It doesn't have to be a gothic, emo-fest of depressed characters, duh. But if you write a fic starting with, "Percy just came home to his adoring wife Annabeth in his four story house, funded by his high paying job as a marine biologist, when she told him she was pregnant and then made him a six-course dinner..."

THAT IS NOT COMPELLING. I mean, what's at stake here? She's pregnant? Whoopee! I mean, I'm sure you can guess what's going to happen. It's going to be more happy, happy days, and then the happy, happy baby is born, and they name her some happy, happy name like Sallythena, and they continue on with their happy, happy life.

Again, it doesn't have to be depressing, thrilling, or even sad. But something has to be at stake. Whether it's a relationship, a move to a new school where the character literally gets shunned by everyone, or even (as in A Frosty Winter) that someone is stuck in New York for Christmas...here's a good rule of thumb:

It should have enough uncertain stuff happening, so that you honestly can't say for sure what will happen next.

5. Treat every chapter like an episode of 24.

If you're like, "What does that mean?!", clearly you need to go rent 24 :D But what I mean is, every chapter needs to end in a cliffhanger. It's so easy to take any part of your story, and throw a little twist in that makes it a "cliffy". Seriously. Think of soap operas. I mean, it's not like they have an amazing plot like a Vince Flynn novel, but they still manage to whip up enough meaningless drama to keep you glued to the screen (unless you're like me, and just don't like soap operas on principle). You can whip up something--even if it's meaningless and doesn't actually affect the story all that much--just to make it end in a cliffy.

Okay, it doesn't have to be dramatic ("...and there lay Luke, gasping for breath, Riptide's blade at his throat"). But it needs to be enough to make your readers mad. If they're not begging for you to update, you're not doing your job. (Granted, some people will just beg ANYBODY to update out of habit, but still...)

6. If it takes too much work to read, nobody will read it.

Another obvious-but-we-all-are-guilty-of-forgetting-it rule. You just can't have huge paragraphs of text on a computer screen. Even if the whole thing's intense action or passionate romance, your average fanfic reader is not going to want to read all of it. This is the internet. We want what we want, NOW! Not after reading a block of text the size of Texas!

Break it up. I cheat by adding a lot of one-liners, which sound a little melodramatic, but they're easy to read. A break for the eyes.

Dialog's good at this too, but watch out. If EVERYTHING's dialog, it's not much better. Like reading a huge, clunky paragraph, double-spaced. Have some little paragraphs, dialog, etc. I'm obviously breaking this rule by having ridiculously long commentaries on these guidelines, but OH WELL...

7. Unless it's dramatic, PLEASE make it funny.

You don't have to be the best comedian on the planet, but really. Unless you're writing, like, an intense fic about Thalia's abandonment issues...why isn't your fic funny? Where is the reward?! I've heard it said that people read fiction for three reasons: drama, comedy, or sex. You really shouldn't be having sex in there, so come on. If it's just an adventure or romance fic (like most of these are)...at least try to be sarcastic and funny. It isn't hard.

I mean, in real life, being funny is harder, but this is writing! Come on! You have all the time in the world to think up a witty comeback! (Unlike in real life, where you'll think up the witty comeback TWO DAYS after it would have been useful).

8. If it's an OC fic, don't stray too far.

People love writing OC fics, because it's a great chance to insert a fictional version of themselves into their favorite book. Problem is, they'll totally FORGET THE PEOPLE IN THE BOOK and just concentrate on their own character. Because, hey, if they're interested in their character, everybody else must be, right?

Wrong. Like I said, people come to read about characters they already like. If you start out an OC fic without mentioning Percy, Annabeth, Rachel, Thalia, or Luke, you've got a problem. Because seriously, people will not want to read further. And "well, my character met Chiron/Dumbledore/Carlisle when they came to camp/came to Hogwarts/became a vampire" doesn't count.

So keep the original people alive and in an important role in your story. Like, they're part of the plot, not just in the background. At least for a little while. If you're a good enough writer, people will start to like your character, and he/she can do his/her own thing.

Another big problem (which everybody ELSE covers, so I didn't cover it in depth) is having your OC be a Mary Sue, or utterly hateable perfect person. Try the Mary Sue litmus test (http://www.springhole.net/quizzes/marysue.htm). If you fail by more than just a little bit (which a lot of bad OCs do), don't take it as an insult. You were probably just defensive of your character, which happens to everybody. Just take away a few of her talents, make her bad at a few things, and, if you change her attitude accordingly, she'll become likeable. People root for the underdog, as is true in real life.

9. The more you cover, the sexier you are...

Or something like that. Point being: if you're writing a romance, DON'T GIVE IT ALL TO THEM AT ONCE! If, in the first chapter of a really really long fanfic, you have Percy and Annabeth doing some hot-and-heavy makeout stuff in the Poseidon cabin...well...

Where on earth are you going to go from there?! NOWHERE BUT DOWNHILL. Anyone who has ever flirted with a human being in their LIFE knows this rule, but somehow we all forget it in fanfiction, because we want to get to the good part. Well, trust me, the good part will come. So don't have them all lovey-dovey chapter one--unless the whole point of the fic is that they're thinking about breaking up. No static romances! You can't have a romance where Percy and Annabeth are either totally in love the whole time, or totally just friends the whole time. That is so boring I almost fell asleep typing that sentence.

If love/sexual tension (if they aren't together) or hateful/suspicious/do-I-really-love-them tension (if they ARE together) isn't always, always, always building, you might as well not write the story.

(But PS--don't try this crap on an adventure story. You take too long starting a quest, and you're going to lose your audience. It's not nearly as exciting as watching a romance build. It's not nearly as exciting, in fact, as watching paint dry).

This is why all my Percabeth stuff is so slow, if you're wondering ;)

10. Believe in yourself. Or at least pretend to.

Hokey but true, and I'll show you how. Believe that you have at least some credibility to what you can do.

What you should never do in titles: Can't Think of a Title / My PJO Story / Etc. Fine, titles don't come easily to everybody. In fact, most people hate titles. I know I do. But "Can't Think of a Title" is so much worse than any clichéd, mushy title you can think of. Literally. ANYTHING TITLISH IS BETTER. Believe it.

What you should never do in summaries: Sorry, I suck at summaries,
Percy meets his sister and...um...yeah..., or
..asfasf (gibberish instead of summary), or
Summary inside.

Gibberish just looks idiotic, and nobody wants to LOOK INSIDE A FANFIC THAT THEY DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT YET.

But for the other two: This is important. So, okay, maybe you DO suck at summaries. But there is no need to broadcast that to the entire world, who may not know your summaries suck. Just summarize your story, quick and simple. And this is true in all of life: if you don't believe in your own talent, your own ability to write stories and inspire people and, heck, even write a decent summary...I mean, why would anybody else? They don't care about you nearly as much as YOU do. Really, in this world, you're the only person who's helping yourself get ahead. If you don't look totally confident that you're good at what you do, everybody else will assume that you're telling the truth and you AREN'T very good at what you do. Especially over the internet, since they don't already know you.

Modesty and self-deprecating comments have a place, definitely. It's just not in fanfiction summaries.

Good job reading all of that! I hope it helped! Or at least made you laugh at how silly I am...

Best Friends in the World

...who write fanfiction, I mean.

Katako-Chan is my real-life supertight buddy! Okay, since I actually know her, here's a great opportunity to embarrass her. Well, she's secretly an international spy/supermodel who writes fics in her spare time. I know. I know. It's shocking. Kay, done now ;) Seriously, read her stuff, she's a genius.

Sistergrimm2 is just...awesome. I love her PJO fics but I love her lemons and Twilight fics just as much. Please. Read. Her. Stuff. Now.

Percabeth777 is going to be a saint one day. No kidding. She's that good-hearted. She also is a kick-butt writer. Check out her Percabeth stories (duh), especially My True Feelings. SO cute.

Bubblegum11 kind of disappeared but I still keep in touch cause he's cool :D

I...don't...feel like typing up bunch more names. I promise to actually finish this list later.

To People Who Read My Stuff:

I love you guys to death! And I'm not just saying that. I really do. Reviews light up my inbox and make me smile! I read every one of them and cherish them, like you'd cherish your own firstborn child, or the last lemon mento out of a box of fruity mentos (there are only four per box).

So now you know. Y'ALL ARE LOVED! XOXO