Profanity/Vulgarity Warning; This is here to warn you all of my sailor's toungue. I will tell you all that no one that I am assosciated with is forcing you to read this. If someone is, they are likely someone I have never met before -- in person -- and if it's someone who has an account on this sight(or someone who is associated with me), then they are likeley doing so without my permission -- which sucks for you! If you are one who is offended by mere mention of the words "Fuck" or "Shit," then, Fuck off! I am not making you read my profile! This also goes for my... colorful expressions of personal opinion. Keep in mind that they are MY opinions, so if you don't like it, then tough! I have my rights! In being human, I have the right to have and express my own opinion, reguardless as to how, Dammit!

AS OF AUGUST 24TH, 2009

As the readers of my fics MAY have noticed, yes, they have all met a tragic end. It is unfortunate, but, in all honesty, they were crap. I truly apologize to those who liked them, but I truly felt the need to start over, since my abscence is soon to be at an end. I will compensate, though. For those few fans of my previous workings, be on the lookout for some new Shit to come. While I can't guarentee that you'll like it, I truly hope you will.

AS OF MARCH 30TH, 2009

My apologies to anyone who likes my Fics, but as of yet they are on hold. they will be updated and redone over time, but I need to do it later. My old laptop, which I named Yoshi, has broken down and I need a new one. My files that I had planned to use for reconstructing my Temari/Tayuya Fic were on it and are still being salvaged. I will give a heads-up when I'm able to do it, but I can't just yet.

Also I am in the process of writing a new Fic that will be named Blackbird. It will be a crossover Fic between Naruto and Teen Titans. It will be completely unlike my others and will also have a bit of Bleach somewhat tossed in, though that will just be there to explain Raven's appearence in the Narutoverse. The pairing will be Naru/Rae(as in Naruto x Raven) and will have a bit of dark-natured content. The story will primarily focus on Raven, But I won't leave out explination and detail--which is probably one of the WORST problems I see with alot of the newer Fics and it's something I do NOT want to repeat. I'm not sure what the Genere is, yet, but it WILL be rated M for multiple... valid reasons. I am working on a rough draft--something I didn't do with my other shit. I have no idea when I can post it, but I AM working on it.

AS OF FEBRUAY OF 2009;

I am sorry to say that I have learned the hard way that I've been going about my writings all wrong. As I've read some of the best damn Fics I've ever seen, I came to the realization that mine basically suck, so, starting now, I'm starting over. I don't know what came over me, but in a spasm of temporary retardation, I decided to start writing my Fics without any form of forethought and rushed them. That is ending here. Whatever Fics I currently have will be taken down and rewritten with an actual plot behind it. I am deeply sorry for the excrutiating delay, but, as they say, "Better late than never."

SHIT I'M WORKING ON

Blackbird

A NarutoXTeen Titans Crossover. NarutoXRaven. Rated M, Heavy AU, some OOC-ness. Hinata's less shy. Kushina's alive, a Samurai, and raises Naruto. (Why not? I want to see it well done, so I'll do it myself.) Naruto is NOT an Idiot. (He's a bit of an Ass, Emotionally Challenged, and too Damn honest for his own Damn good... Like a cross between himself and Sai, without the wole Penis Obsession.)

WARNINGS: Brutal Violence, Language, Eventual Lemons, Impregnation, Implications of Incest(between Gaara and Temari), and Naruto's Honesty.

SUMMARY: Raven dies in the whole mess with Trigon, because he's not stupid enough to let her live when she became his portal. (Honestly, why would he? I can't help but wonder.) His reappearence, though, enrages the the Crows of Azarath, so they deal with him and resurrect the poor kid, as per the last request of High Priestess Arella, Raven's mother. Although, due to events foretold by the priestess,(and the fact that Earth was destroyed by the whole "Trigon Must Die" issue) Raven is sent to another world, ressurected as a child. Growing up alongside Naruto, under the eyes of his mother, Raven is introduced to a whole new world and the ways of Shinobi life. One may wonder she'll fair.

STATUS: Plotline Developement is put on hold, until the Raikage's Name is revieled and research on the cocept of Bushido is complete.( November 15th, 2009)

(Side Note:The originally intended Minor Bleach Crossong has been dropped)

Silver and Gold

A NarutoXClaymore Crossover. Minor Bleach Cross. (This one will stay.) NarutoXJean. Rated M, Heavy AU, Some OOC-ness, and an OC Sensei. Naruto is a HELL of a lot smarter with some new tricks. (He's not Godly Powerful. He just has more Shit that he can do with his Clones, for the most part. Honestly, why does he still have yet to figure out how to make them explode in the Canon!? That'd be cool as Hell!)

WARNINGS: Brutal Violence, Language, Crude Humor, Awkward Humor, Dark Humor Eventual Sex, Many Things Going BOOM, and the OC(She's often very awkward.)

SUMMARY: Pieta, the city to the North, where a Legion of monsters known as Awakened Beings approach. Their intent is unknown, but one thing was certain; they must not pass. The problem was that twenty-six warriors simply did not cut it. Those events have passed, though. What is importat was... what the hell happened!? Where was she, why was she here, how was she still alive, who is Naruto, why did give off an aura of Yoki, and, most importantly... Why was she now FIVE!? One thing was for sure; Jean, the Organization's Warrior Number Nine, had a lot on her plate, and the most important question was this: could she really cope with all these changes?

STATUS: Summary and Prologue complete, Chapter one under construdtion.(November 2nd, 2009)

Twisted Bonds

A bot-so-typical Uzumaki Twincest Fic. The difference is that it's actually taken seriously and there's more to the plot than simple, shameless smut. NarutoXNariko(his sister). Dark Natured Rated M, Heavy AU, Moderate OOC-Ness. Naruto is calm and quiet, Nariko is more like his Canon self. Both are smart as hell, though, and very dark, ALMOST to the point of evil. Yugito is their unoficial older sister. All three have thier own similar talents.

Special Note: Yugito is still segnificant to the story, but has been taken out of the main pairing. Other changes have been made as well.

WARNINGS: Incest, Heavy Sexual Content, Brutal Vionence, Dark Humor, Crude Humor, and Otherwise Questionable Content.

SUMMARY: Enton, Youton, Haiton, and more infamously, Gouka. These are only a few of the soon-to-be-named Gouka Mitsugo, or Hellfire Triplets. The three children are considered outcasts, commonly blamed for events that they had no say in. Now, they live in the slums of Konoha, which they have claimed as their own and reduced to little more than a blackened gash, now known as The Pit.

Yugito: Though she may not related to the other two by blood, she might as well be, considering her looks. Wielding Haiton, the elements of ash and soot, alongside the Gouka and the feline abilities of the Nii Clan, is well recognised for her skill, but she is also among the "Three Who Suffer" as named by their few supporters. Sent to this hellhole as a peace offering by Kumo, after civil war and a ceasefire and as the daughter of the man that started the feud, Yugito is shunned by Konoha and Kumo, alike. Still, she does know it could be worse...

Naruto: All that is Known is that he is wielder of the Gouka, the finest stealth techniques of the Uzumaki Clan, and Enton, the element of heat and blazing, blue-hot flames, in complete conradiction to his blacened heart and frigid blood. The only candle of hope and joy within the otherwise-empty void that could loosely be called his life is his lover and younger twin sister, Nariko. Though their relationship is often seen as wrong, tainted, or taboo, Naruto's words are, "beauty lies within the eyes of the beholder, so why can't the same be said for this so-called sin?"

All in all, Naruto is nothing short of a complete enigma to all who live outside of The Pit, and that is what even the current Hokage fears the most.

Nariko: Wielding the Gouka, alongside her Bi-polar Disorder, the strongest Doton Affinity outside of Iwa, and her affinity for Youton, the element of lava, Nariko is quite easily the most volatile and destructive member of the Gouka Mitsugo, despite her namesake and fun-loving personality. She's a well-know prankster, by nature, and quite the wise-ass, often poking fun at those who irritate her or get in the way of her enjoyment. Despite that, she is the sunshine among her fucked up make-shift family, often bringing it upon herself to brighten up their otherwise-dreadful lives. Although she is openly in love with her older-twin brother, Nariko finds it quite easy to ignore the snide remarks of her illegid lewdness, usually just blurrung it all out, as it is her thorough belief that one simply can not choose who one falls in love with. In the end, her ultimate goal is to settle down with Naruto and bear his children.

Blessed by two of the Bijuu and Yami, the Goddess of Hell, these Children of the Pit will face many parils and horrors, but will the events to come even compare to their alreade fucked up lives? No one knows for sure...

STATUS: General Framework is still in Progress(November 15th, 2009)

PERSONAL SHIT

Hello! I am the DrunkManSquakin! Some of you may have already heard from me, seeing as how I've been reading for quite some time, now. I am male, white, straight, and... well, wierd. I am a diagnosed psycho, but, even with my six different mental disorders, I am not particularly dangerous. In fact, I see my... accentricies as more of a blessing than a curse, simply because I am much more creative than usual and litteraly crazy enough to try almost anything.

Things I Enjoy/Like;

Music(mostly metal, rock, and many forms of random Shit)

Reading Good Fanfics

Reading Naruto Fanfics with Rare Pairings Involving Naruto, Himself

Naruto Fics with Uchiha Sasuke-Bashing

Naruto Fics in which Uchiha Sasuke Dies

Naruto Fics in which Uchiha Sasuke is Bashed and THEN Killed

Naruto Fics where Uchiha Sasuke is FEMALE(Only once have I seen it done well. Now I want more!)

Non-Yaoi Naruto Fics in General

Being an Asshole

Being Honest(you'd be surprized how mean you can actually be simply by BEING honest.)

Being Random(Fear me for I shall beat you senseless with my Angry Three-Eyed FISH!)

Being Myself(in general)

Food(in general)

Soda(NOT the diet Shit)

Porn(WHAT?! I'm a guy... and a virgin. If I can't get some I may as well watch. At least I'm HONEST, Dammit!)

Well-Written Smut Fics(Do I really need to repeat what I said about Porn?)

Collectible Card Games(mostly Yu-Gi-Oh! and Magic: the Gathering, they're not over-complex, but still require a good amount of strategy to be good at.)

Role-Playing Games(in general, but I like the fantasy-based ones more.)

Well-Written Yuri, Incest and Harem Fics(Yaoi is NOT included among these.)

Things I Hate/Dislike;

Yaoi

The sheer Overflow of Yaoi on this Site.

Any Fic With Uchiha Sasuke from Naruto in the Main Pairing(Unless he's both FEMALE and considered tolerable)

Uchiha Sasuke from Naruto(again, unless he's female)

Crappy Smut Fics(Seriously, people, that is why PORN was invented! I'm a GUY, Dammit! If I wanna see that Shit, I can just sit on my Lazy, Male, Less-Creative-Than-A-Female-One's Ass and WATCH, rather than go through the COMPLETELY unnecesary trouble of reading it and picturing the enents in my head, y'know?! Unless it's done well, it's just not worth the effort.)

M-Rated Fanfics that have no Gore, Language, or Sex(Panzy Bitches! If it ain't got that shit, it ain't worthy of the rating, dammit!)

Things That Just Piss Me Off;

People who judge others because they are different

Those who belittle others because of their gender, race, and/or sexuality

Flamers(in general)

Those who belittle others for wanting to try something different

Canon-Obsessed douchebags who flame the actual AUTHORS on this sight beause the pairing is "unrealistic" or the charaters are not "in charater" -- you assholes are the worst of all on this list and need to get a life, dammit! AT LEAST WE ARE TRYING TO BE CREATIVE! Unlike you, we actually realize that this is FanFICTION.net! Get a life and get LAID!! You clearly need it more than I do. Coming from an unemployed male VIRGIN in his early TWENTIES that still lives with his MOTHER... yeah, I think I've made my point pretty damn CLEAR!

Favorite Anime/Manga(so far);

1-Claymore-- It's just too cool for me not to love. That and the existence of Riful of the West pretty much clinched it. When I first saw her, I was hooked.

2-Deathnote-- Awesome as hell! Never before this series have I seen something where the main character is also the villain and actually pull it off!

3-Naruto-- Hate the Canon, but I love most the characters and all the limitless possibilities they have in Fanfics.

4-Bleach-- Same Shit as Naruto, more or less. Better storyline, though.

5-Outlaw Star-- A classic, enough said.

Favorite Bands, Reasons, and Their Best Songs(my opinion); For the record, I'll listen to anything with a good melody, so long as it's not too gentle, irratic, or monotonous. Most of the shit I listen to is Hard Rock, Alternative Rock, Metal, Melodeath, Folk Metal(yes, it exists), Black Metal, and some other, more random shit.

1-Cradle of Filth(the old shit)-- In their prime, they were good. I don't like their newer shit, though. I liked how they kept a good melody and Dani's extreme and obvious vocal tallent. That, and I could really give two shits about the Lyrics of a song. It could be about Satan fucking a goat, or gay necro-petofilia, for all I care. If it sounds good, I'm good.

Their best songs are; Saffron's Curse, Born in a Burial Gown, Suiscide and Other Comforts, Lord Abortion, Presents form the Poison Hearted, Her Ghost in the Fog, Desire in Violent Overture, Lustmord and Wargasm(actually called that), Manequin, Nymphetamine(Jezebel Diva Fix), Coffin Fedder(actually called that), and, finally, Swansung for a Raven.

2-Arch Enemy-- I could care less what you say, you GOTTA respect a girl who can squak like Angela Gossow. That, and the guitars and drums are just too damn good to ignore.

Their best songs are; Ravenous, Revolution Begins, Carry the Cross, Fields of Desolation(Rare and Unreleased Bonus Disc), Slaves of Yesterday, The Day You Died, Behind the Smile, and, finally, We Will Rise

3-Children of Bodom-- I just like their style. Unfortunately, I haven't heard alot of their songs, but they are still damn good.

Their best songs are; Children of Decadence, Kissing the Shadows, Are You Dead Yet, Never Gonna Fall, Next in Line, and, finally, Somebody Put Something in my Drink.

This part is to be continued later...

Favorite Female Fictional Characters(Anime/Manga, Cartoons, Books, Games, Fics, etc.);

1-Riful of the West(Claymore)-- What can I say? I have a thing for playfully psychopathic characters. The fact that she's basically a just a child makes her that much cooler. I mean, c'mon, how could you not find her to be just adorable?! She tortures the warriors of Claymore into awakening their basically demonic forms, and if they don't meet her standards, she kills them without hesitation! All this, and yet, she still somehow retains her child-like innocence. What's not to love, I ask you?

2-Mitarashi Anko(Naruto)-- Yet another playful, crazy chic. Yet, at the same time, she is also visibly more sadistic, much more random, and also more violent. What pisses me off is that way too many people on this sight seem to like depicting her as a slut. She's not. Granted her nature and persona are more than a bit questionable at times, she is just not that shallow, okay? Considering her past, I think it's safe to say that her actions are either meant to taunt those around her as a way to deal with the pain of betrayal, or simply an emotional mask-- much like the one many say Naruto has.

3-Meru(The Legend of Dragoon)-- I like her. She's funny. Mostly, though, she's here because of her abilities in the game. SHE'S SCARY AS HELL! All she needs is a small bit of developement and she's easily the most disturbing character you could ask for. Enough said. As for her personality, yeah... She's basically the hyperactive, ever-cheerful, commonly-seen-as-annoying-little-girl character that seems to pop up in most RPG's... at least as far as I hear.

This part is to be continued later...

Favorite Male Fictional Characters(Anime/Manga, Cartoons, Books, Games, Fics, etc.);

1-Zaraki Kenpachi(Bleach)-- Do I NEED to explain why? It's Kenpachi, enough said.

2-Jiraiya(Naruto)-- Fellow crazy pervert, commonly gets the crap beaten out of him by a hot-tempered blonde chic, and he's a goofball. What can I say? I can relate with him... to a certain extent. All the more reason for me to be sad when he dies. He was cool.

3-Urahara Kisuke(Bleach)-- Methodical madness, eerily shadowy intent, near-cryptic sense of humor, and a complete goofball on top of that. I don't care what you say, HE'S AWESOME!! That, and I like the hat. He's just so awkward that I simply can't help but like his character. He's funny. I also like his pimp cane. I want one. Is he Bi-Polar? Seems like it, but I can't really tell.

This part is to be continued later...

Profile reconstruction is to be continued...