FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| Forkz94 |
Author has written 3 stories for Twilight, and Camp Rock. Hi, I'm a teenager from the North of Scotland. So here's a wee bit about me(Actually, it's more than a wee bit, it's quite a lot actually, should I really be posting all this information about me where anyone can see it? Ah well, who cares.); NEW MOON WAS AWESOME!! I HEART EDWARD AND JACOB!! RIP Patrick Swayze and Stephen Gately. sniff sniff Congratulations to Kevin Jonas on his engagement! LLOYD TO WIN XFACTOR!! I know it seems like I never update and I'm sorry but I seriously never have any time. I am really sorry. Name:Rachel (also go by Raychel-well cooler spelling!, Ray-Ray, Nymphie and Forkie) MacRae. Hair Colour/Length:Short, brown. Eye Colour:Brown. Do I wear glasses?:Yes, and they're the coolest ones ever because they're Bench. I no longer wear glasses! I have contacts! Age:15 Sex:Female. Religion:Christian, Protestant, Church of Scotland. Where I Live:A small town called Dingwall, near Inverness in the Scottish Highlands. Height:I think I'm about 5'6, I'm definitely a good bit taller than my Mum who's only 5ft. Brothers and Sisters:I have a big brother called Robert who's 22 (And I'm almost as tall as him!) and a wee sister called Victoria who's 11. List of people (fictional or not) that should go Die In a Hole My Aunt Sarah Camilla Belle Lady GaGa Britney Spears John and Edward Zoey Redbird Rhys Williams Persephone Hadley Steamed vegetables-boiled all the way! Hera Fergun Regin Meggie MacGregor Kamal Hadley Cooked fruit Rosalie Hale-Cullen William Cavendish Dizzee Rascal Kanye West Macaroni Cheese Kate Melissa Taylor McKessie Homophobics Katie Price-Team Peter and Team Children! Racists Hypocrites Redd The New Evie in Tomb of the Dragon Emperor Water Chestnuts The Book I'm Reading:Angels and Demons by Dan Brown/City of Ember/Living Dead In Dallas. Favourite Books:Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, Harry Potter, The Inheritance Cycle, The Black Magician Trilogy, The Noughts and Crosses Series, The Looking Glass Wars, The Secret Countess, Percy Jackson and the Olympians , Exodus, Zenith, The Chronicles of Narnia (Especially Prince Caspian and Voyage of The Dawn Treader.), Apache, The Davinci Code, Secret Sacrament, Midnighters, The Declaration, The Resistance, The Merrybegot, Raven Queen, House of Night, Skinned, The Time Travelers Wife, The DaVinci Code, Evermore, The Southern Vampires Series, Peeps. Favourite TV programmes:Doctor Who, Sarah Jane Adventures, Torchwood, Scrubs, One Tree Hill, Smallville, Charmed, My Hero, Friends, Red Dwarf, Mock the Week, Supernatural, Gilmore Girls, Joan of Arcadia, 90210, Sonny With A Chance, Hannah Montana, Bones, Lie To Me, Angel, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Trueblood, Glee, Ugly Betty. Favourite Films:Twilight(OME!! It is AMAZING!!), New Moon (FREAKING AWESOME!!), Camp Rock, Harry Potter, Stardust, Eragon, Terminator, The Mummy, HSM1,2+3, Braveheart, Highlander, Titanic, Moulin Rouge, Peter Pan and most Disney films, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Just Like Heaven, Wild Child, The Chronicles of Narnia, Equilibrium, The Young Victoria, Bolt (Amazing film), Atonement (I cried) , 17 Again (Zac Efron toppless, sorted) , The Hannah Montana Movie, Hairspray, The Duchess, Bend It Like Beckham, August Rush, Too Young to Marry, Crusade:A March Through Time, Up, The DaVinci Code, Spirited Away, City of Ember. Music:The Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, The Script, Paramore, Eoghan Quigg, Westlife, Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, Mitchel Musso, Beyonce, Rhianna, Katy Perry, Take That, Avril Lavigne, Gavin DeGraw, Tyler Hilton, James Blunt, Runrig, Proclaimers, Fall Out Boy, Bethany Joy Galeotti, Kate Voegele, ABBA, Boyzone. Favourite Song of The Moment:Chemicle Party by Gavin DeGraw. I have named my iPod The Devil because it was being really annoying and just plain supid for a while so if you ever hear me taling abut The Devil I'm not actually talking about the devil, it's just my iPod. The Devil is no more. I accidently left him in my pocket and he went through the wash. R.I.P Devil. I got a new one. He is called Jen! No idea why, just thought it was a cool name. Favourite Colours:Red and Gold(Go! Go! Gryffindor!), Topaz. My bezzies on fanfiction are: Hurri (otherwise known as Katrina or Kate), I was the one who got her into Twilight, yay me!, and we know each other outside cyberspace as well! Luv ya girl! City69 (Harmony, or Hermione as I often call her), my wife and sane insane person who loves the Jonas Brothers! KattiIsTheBest(otherwise known as Eilidh, Rosalie or Rosie/Rosey), known her for years, introduced me to Twilight (which I will be forever grateful for), a maniac who doesn't like the JoBros, Camp Rock or High School Musical(she just hates the Disney Channel in general). Lynette MacGregor, another complete maniac who I have finally corrupted! She now has Jonas Brothers CDs! WOOT WOOT go me! FindersKeepers. (my next-door-neighbour Drew), physcotic bundle of energy. Magician Girl Mirani(Crazy 5th Year called Kelli), unusual midgetated person. Twilight Which book in the series is your favourite? Twilight or Breaking Dawn. How long did it take you to read the books? Not that long. Who introduced you to the books? My best friend Eilidh. Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift? BUY! What's your dream ending to the series? What actually happened. Who is your favourite character? Edward Cullen. Who's your favourite vampire? Edward Cullen. Who is your favourite werewolf? Jacob Black. What's one of your favourite quotes from the stories? 'Penguins. Lovely.' What was your favourite Bella and Edward moment? Probably when she tries to rape him. What was your favourite Bella and Jacob moment? When she tries to kill him for nicknaming Nessie. So funny!! How about your favourite Bella and Alice moment? When she kidnaps her and takes her for a sleepover, then gets a yellow porche for it. What was your favourite adventure/battle? In Eclipse with the New Born army. Which book cover was your favourite? Twilight Are these books among your favourite books of all? Definitely!! Twilight or New Moon? Twilight. New Moon or Eclipse? Eclipse. Eclipse or Breaking Dawn? Breaking Dawn. Are you excited about Midnight Sun? Yes! We'll finally be able to see into his head! Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob? Edward. Bella or Edward? Edward. Bella or Jacob? Jacob. Bella or Alice? Bella. Alice or Jacob? Jacob. Rosalie or Alice? Alice. Jasper or Alice? Alice. Jasper or Edward? Edward. Carlisle or Esme? Carlisle. Emmett or Jasper? Emmett. Emmett or Jacob? Jacob. Bella or Rosalie? Bella. I absolutely loath Rosalie! Esme or Charlie? Esme. Charlie or Carlisle? Carlisle. Charlie or Billy? Charlie. Jacob or Sam? Jacob. Sam or Quil? Quil. Quil or Embry? Embry. Werewolves or Vampires? Vampires. Favourite Pairings Twilight:Nessie/Jacob, Edward/Bella, Quil/Claire, Alice/Jasper, Emmett/Rosalie, Carlisle/Esme, Edward/Jacob. Angel:Angel/Cordy, Fred/Wes, Connor/James(Twilight James). Buffy The Vampire Slayer:Buffy/Spike, Willow/Tara. Camp Rock:Shane/Mitchie (OME I can't get the songs out of my head!! Yum...Joe Jonas) , Nate/Caitlyn, Jason/Ella(Their kids would be so stupid it wouldn't even be funny...well, maybe a little.). Percy Jackson:Percy/Annabeth, Grover/Juniper, Thalia/Luke, Silena/Beckendorf, Poseidon/Sally, Paul/Sally. Hannah Montana:Miley/Jake, Miley/Travis, Lilly/Oliver, Robbie/Lorelei. The House of Night Series:Damien/Jack (Damien is my fav character in the whole series, he's so funny!! Jack is a wee gay whirlwind, he's so cute!), Zoey/Eric (No Loren (he's just pathetic) and no Heath (I do like Heath but him and Zoey aren't of the same species anymore)and no Zoey/Stark), Aphrodite/Darius. The Declaration:Peter/Anna, Jude/Sheila and Anna's parents. Glee:Rachel/Finn, Quinn/Puck, Shue/Emma. Ugly Betty:Daniel/Betty, Betty/Gio. Joan of Arcadia:Joan/Adam, Grace/Luke. Harry Potter:Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Draco/Hermione(Only if Ron's happy with Luna.), Ron/Luna(Again, Hermione with Draco.), Harry/Hermione (Ron has Luna and Ginny has Draco), James/Lily, Lupin/Tonks, Hermione/Snape, Harry/Ron, Harry/Draco(I generally do stick to canon pairings but it's nice to mix it up). Narnia:Susan/Caspian(Go Suspian! Woot Woot!), Peter/OC, Edmund/OC, Lucy/Tumnus(Only when Lucy is an adult.). Bones:Bones/Booth, Hodgins/Angela, Logan/Maria(From The Woman In The Garden.). The Inheritance Cycle:Eragon/Arya, Nasuada/Murtagh, Selena/Brom. Robin Hood:Robin/Marian (I refuse to believe Marian is dead, I mean who ever heard of Robin Hood without Maid Marian? And don't even get me started on Kate >:(! ROBIN IS NOT DEAD EITHER!!), Much/Kate Doctor Who:Doctor/Rose(No one else gets the Doctor, the Doctor and Rose are perfect for each other, end of.). Torchwood:Jack/Gwen, Owen/Tosh, Ianto/Lisa, Iaonto/Jack. Sarah Jane Adventures:Luke/Maria(So cute!). Sonny With A Chance:Sonny/Chad, Grady/Tawni. One Tree Hill:Naley, Leyton, Brase. Hairspray:Link/Tracy, Penny/Seaweed. Noughts and Crosses:Tobey/Callie(Tobey is my fav character in the whole series, next is Callum), Sephy/Callum(I hate Sephy, sorry to those who like her.), Jude/Cara. The Black Magician Trilogy and The Magicians Apprentice:Akkarin/Sonea, Dannyl/Tayend, Tessia/Jayan, Hanara/Jochara, Kachiro/Chavori. HSM:Troy/Gabriella, Chad/Ryan, Sharpay/Zeke, Ryan/Kelsi, Rocketman/Tiara, Jason/Martha. 17 Again:Mike/Scar, Ned/Jane. The Young Victoria:Victoria/Albert (Rupert Friend is just yum). Titanic:Rose/Jack. Moulin Rouge:Christian/Satine. Peter Pan:Peter/Wendy. The Looking Glass Wars:Alyss/Dodge, Hatter/Weaver. Exodus, Zenith, Aurora:Mara/Fox(Tuck does not go with Mara, they are friends, nothing else.), Tuck/Mol, Mol/Seapoliceman, Broomie/Gorbals, Fir/Tron, Cal/Lily(Candleriggs.). Star Wars:Anakin/Padme, Obi Wan/OC(He deserves someone!). 90201:Navid/Adrianna, Annie/Ethan, Dixon/Silver, Naomi/Liam, Ryan/Kimberly. Lord of the Rings:Aragorn/Arwen, Legolas/OC, Sam/Rosie, Sam/Frodo. Smallville:Clark/Lois, Clark/Lana, Clark/Chloe, Jimmy/Chloe. Charmed:Chris/Bianca, Piper/Leo, Phoebe/Coop, Paige/Henry, Wyatt/OC, Phoebe/Cole(Only when Cole's good though). Midnighters:Jessica/Jonathan (OME Jonathan is my favourite character in the whole of Midnighters!), Rex/Melissa( I hate Melissa.). Supernatural:Sam/Jess, Sam/OC, Sam/Maddie (I started crying when she died!!), Sam/Ruby, Dean/Jo. (As you can probably tell from this I prefer Sam to Dean.) Gilmore Girls:Rory/Jess (I mean I LOVE Jared Padalecki, but could he be anymore annoying as Dean?), Lorelai/Luke. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is the most amazing film ever, it has Rob Pattinson, Daniel Radcliffe and David Tennant! It's like a parade of the most gorgeous guys ever!! My Favourite Edward(Mmmm...stop drooling Rachel he's a married fictional character)Cullen Quotes (I'm a bit worried by the fact that I'm more concerned with the fact that he's married than that he's fictional.) And so the Lion fell in love with the Lamb... What a sick masochistic Lion! Would you please tell me what you're thinking? BEFORE I go mad? You should probably know I'm breaking the rules right now. Well, not technically, since he said I was never to walk through his door again, and I came in the window... But, still, the intent was clear. Your hair looks like a haystack, but I like it. But jealousy... it's a strange thing. So much more powerful than I would have thought. And irrational! I was just wondering why you stabbed him. Not that I object. You are the most dangerous creature I have ever met. Bella... would you please stop trying to take your clothes off? Penguins. Lovely.(I told my sister about this and she made up a song and dance about it and she does it whenever I mention Twilight, which is a lot, it's also my fav quote.) Are you referring to the fact that you can't walk across a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip over? Do I dazzle you? Of all things you are scared of my driving? Bella control yourself. I could kill you. Do I always have to be the responsible one? Edward 'You're overestimating my self-control.' Bella 'Which is tempting you more, my blood or my body?' Edward 'It's a tie.' Edward-You'll be the death of me, I swear you will. Amazing how can something so small be so annoying? You don't see yourself clearly...you are far from ordinary. And you're afraid, not because you're off to meet a house full of vampires, but because you're worried those vampires won't approve of you, correct? Ew, Snow. You look sexy. Very sexy really. Your wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it's a joke. Afraid of a needle. Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs of to meet him. An IV on the other hand... I dazzle people? 'Isabella Swan?' he looked up at me through his impossibly long lashes, his golden eyes soft but, somehow, still scorching. 'I promise to love you forever--every single day of forever. Will you marry me?' “‘Bella, I’ve already put a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive. I’m not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can’t walk straight. Besides, friends don’t let friends drive drunk,” Edward quoted with a chuckle. How can I put this so that you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here and I love you. I have always loved you, and will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy... I prefer brunettes.(Yay me!) It’s the thought that counts. I ought to know. La Tua Cantante. So eager for eternal damnation! If you bring her back in less than the perfect condition I left her in, you'll be running with three legs dog. I am Switzerland. I like both Jacob and Edward. If you don't, then tough. Edward is perfect as her soul mate and Jacob is perfect as her best friend/son in law. HOMOPHOBIA IS STUPID!! I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday. THAT'S MESSED UP! IF YOU BELIEVE HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG REPOST THIS. How Stereotypical Try Not To Cry Mummy...Dedrick brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mummy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to church , I never talked back, I even got the gold star! When I went to school that day, I never said goodbye. I'm sorry that I had to go, but Mummy, please don't cry. When Dedrick shot the gun, he hit me , And all because Dedrick got the gun from his uncle. Mummy, please tell Daddy that I love him very much, And tell my dear sweet grandmother I'll be waiting for her now. And tell my wonderful friends that they always were the best Mummy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mummy, tell my teachers I won't show up for class, And never to forget this and please don't let this pass Mummy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though, deserves this. But Mummy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mummy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in me, But Mummy please remember, I'm in heaven with the dead. When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to grow up, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy on that trip to the new zoo, I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be President, like you said I would, I really wanted to live. But Mummy I must go now, the time is getting late, I love you Mummy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mummy all I need to say is, "Mummy, I love you". In memory of Kayla Rolland, The six-year-old who got shot at school by a fellow pupil who was also six. Please if you would, If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Goodbye". A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. She was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." You're never alone... 93 Percent Of the people who read this won't repost it. Don't be one of those people. Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you. Month one Mummy Month Two Mummy Month Three You know what Mummy Month Four Mummy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mummy Every Abortion is just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this. Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is. Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’. Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever. Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while. Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her. Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’. Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy. Draco Malfoy … disagrees. Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand. Ron Weasley … is very afraid. Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much. Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat. Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out. George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry. Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter. James Potter … doesn’t believe her. Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’. Sirius Black … killed by drapery. Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences. Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane. Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush. Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’. Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence. Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff. Slytherins … will push someone else off. Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase. Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet. You know you're crazy when the wheel is turning but the hamsters dead. You're a 90's kid if: You can finish this 'ice ice _' Mental Hospital Phone Menu Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital! If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you. If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever. If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up. 25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER (I Love you mummy!) 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of DIFFUSION. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. YOUR GUY SIDE: You love hoodies. Total: 8 YOUR GIRL SIDE: You wear lip gloss/stick. You smile a lot more than you should. Total: 10 Random convos me and my friends have had (In Modern Studies) Harmony:I'm depressed. Me:The board can see you! Harmony (cheered up):With the pen drawing the eyes and the nose and the mouth! Me:And the dog doing a tap dance in front! (In Biology) Ria:You know Gerard Way used to do cocaine. Me (confused):Did you just say where's your wig? (In Maths) Sarah:What're you doing for the holidays? Me (while concentrating on slapping her hand):England. Sarah:The whole of England or...? Me (still concentrating on slapping her hand):Yes, I'm doing the whole of England, ha ha very funny. (Same period of Maths) Ria (while Nichole pushes table into her stomach):Stop it that's sore! Nichole:Well, that's what wearing a corset will feel like! Me:Did you just say that's what intercourse will feel like? Sarah:No, that pain's worth it! (My House) Me:This year isn't good for celebrities. I mean Liam Neeson's wife just died and then there was John Travolta's son a few months ago. Katrina:Yeah, all the celebrities are gonna start locking up their families. Me:Imagine Zac Efron locking up Vanessa in like, a padded white room in a straight jacket! Katrina:And her dieing because it was too tight so she couldn't breathe! Me:Then Zac would committ suicide, then me and Harmony would because there's no Zac left, then you, Eilidh and Abigail would because there's no us, the Cailean would because there's no Eilidh! Katrina:Then all of our families and their friends would and so on until there was no one left on the planet! Both:And all because Zac wanted to keep Vanessa safe. (In Tescos) Tania:SAY IT LOUD AND SAY IT PROUD!! Me:I'M GAY!! (The Suicide Chain Continued) (The Train) Me:This card game raises stress levels considerably. Katrina:We'll probably end up killing each other. Me:It's very possible. (After Katrina gets another set) Me:A flipping huge possibility!! Katrina:They'd find our bodies with like cards sticking out of them. People would ask, how did they die? They killed each other...with playing cards. Me:Lol, yeah. Katrina:Then that would start the whole suicide chain. Me:Except this time Zac and Vanessa would be the only ones left...and they'd have to repopulate the planet. Katrina:Imagine having to tell your child that they have to reproduce with their sister. Both:Eeeeeewwwwww!! (A little while later) Katrina:Hey, imagine if black people were actually the colour black and white people were actually white. Me:That'd be pretty weird. Katrina:You could play chess with them. Like arange them into a chess board and shave them and get giant chess pieces... (Leave Kat to her ramblings) Me:A halfer would be grey! Katrina:Yeah, that'd be weird, having grey skin. Noughts wouldn't be allowed to have white wallpaper because they'd like fade into the walls. (A few mins later) Katrina:Imagine how strange it'd be to have purple skin? I'm gonna do that when I'm older. I'm gonna paint my kids purple!! Me:PLEASE DON'T!! (At the end of English) Katrina:Why is there an empty Strawberry FreshNLo in my bag? Me:I bet it was Raven! (her cat) Katrina:Yeah, he's addicted to them! Me:He bought a big batch of them over the internet. Katrina:Using my Dad's credit card! Me:Yeah, but he found a big pile of gold in your garden, so whenever he bought some he'd leave gold in your Dad's wallet. Katrina:I'd be like strangling him saying 'If it weren't for you we wouldn't be having money problems! We would've had a million pounds!', and he'd be like 'But they're so addictive!'. (Later at lunch) Katrina (Seeing empty Strawberry FreshNLo): Look! Me:He's following you! Katrina:And there's a chocolate one as well! Me:That must be Smudge (her other cat), they're working together! (Walking to class after lunch) Katrina (Seeing more empty FreshNLos):Aaaaaaggggghhhh! Me (while patting her back):Sssshhhh. It's okay Katrina, sshhh, it's okay. Now she screams every time she sees an empty carton of FreshNLo. (In Chemistry) (Me acting really hyper) Harmony:You know you really scare me sometimes. Me:I know. I can actually imagine me just putting my and in the fire to see what it feels like. Harmony:You'd be like 'Oooo pretty fire! Ouch! Stop it fire! Stop it! Bad fire! Sit! Sit! Get off!'. And then I'd be like 'This is the third time this week!'. When I phoned 999 they'd be like, 'Fire engine and ambulance on the way Harmony'. Me:I'd be trying to train the fire! I'd show you all! Harmony:The next day you'd just be standing there commanding it to sit and lie like a dog and we'd just be like 'WTF??'. Harmony (rather randomly):You should try the treadmill, it's really fun. Me:Yeah. Harmony:You'd go on and wouldn't come off. You'd get as thin as a pencil and we'd all be trying to get you off, but fire would be guarding you and growling at us if we came too close. Me:I like my pet fire. (Same period of Chemistry) (Speaking using the Alpha button on the calculator) Harmony:Mr.Salsa (White cat keyring I have managed to spill salsa sause on twice) wants salsa! Me:No, he's had enough! Harmony:Fine, you make Mr.Salsa cry! He will salsa attack you! Muahahahahhahaaaaaaaaaa!! (In English) Me:I think we should kidnap Bernard MacLaverty. Katrina:Yeah. We could actually ask him. Does this actually symbolise that? Why is this imagery effective? What is the hidden meaning behind every stinking thing in the story?? Me:We could beat him and ask 'Does this mean that? Yes! Does it? Yes! DOES IT!! No! NO! NOTHING MEANS ANYTHING!'. Katrina:We could get him to tell the teacher that. But then she'd be like, 'Let's investigate the lack of imagery in this story'. Me:We could add him to the hit list. Along with Miss O'Boyle, Anne Robinson (nickname for a teacher), Yohan, Miss Gould and Mrs Warde. Katrina:Yes. Let's. (In Bed) Me (talking about Lucas in One Tree Hill):It's going to be weird for Lily because Lucas is her brother, her cousin and her father figure. Drew (half asleep):You put your Dad in the bingo machine and go BBBBBBBBBIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGOOOO! Me:What?? Drew (confused):What did I just say? (In English) Me (talking about a dream in which I was pregnant):But it seemed so real... Katrina:Maybe it was. Maybe you got pregnant and had the baby in one night. I can just imagine your stomach go whoosh then flop (doing hand movements to indicate a swollen stomach then a normal one). Me:Yes of course! Katrina:Then it got stolen. I can just imagine a pair of hands coming through your window then stealing it. You'd just probably sniff then roll over in your sleep. (On Bed) Eilidh:If you think about it everyone is a product of sex. I mean basically everyone started off as two people going (pants in imitation of sex noises). Me:(Cringes) Eilidh:Yeah, I was thinking about that in RE and then I looked at Mr.Simpson and I thought, eww! That's how he started. And then I thought, he's got kids. Both:Eww! (Then after we went off talking about all the teacher who've had kids at our school and how even the ones who haven't probably aren't virgins. It was disgusting. I won't be able to look straight at them for a long time.) (At home) Toria:Owwwwww! (having just fell down the stairs) Me:You idiot. (In maths) Me:I'm gonna buy Top Of The Pops magazine! Ria:Did you just say you're gonna buy a Box Monkey? (In maths) Rachael:What's A-D-D? Me, Nichole and Ria:Add...? (In my room) Drew (hypervenalating): RACHEL! ONE TREE HILL SEASON SEVEN! AHHHHH!! Me:Okaaay? Drew:Rachel, Haley was soooo good looking! Me:What's new? Drew:Haley, I mean Quinn, I mean RACHEL! Me:It's RACHEL! (At FYF-Church Group) Margaret:Now, Victoria. What is the first book of the New Testament? Me:(Sitting there board because I'm not allowed to answer anymore) (5 mins later) Margaret and Tommy:Mm m m m m. (Repeat about 20 times) Toria:Luke? Me, Margaret and Tommy:(Groans and slaps forehead) Toria:Oh, oh, Mathew! Me:Give the girl a cookie (thoughts) And we wonder why people think we're weird. I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY And most of all I'M SORRY Hello Beautiful, It's 7:05, here in Australia, so please Hold On while I explain to you what happens When You Look Me In The Eyes. In Year 3000, you would be What I Go To School For and I'd always say Nick J Is Off The Chain because That's Just The Way We Roll. Now, I'd Appreciateit if you Don't Tell Anyone, but I've got this Crazy Kind Of Crush On You, You Just Don't Know It. I wish I could trade places with Mandy just for 6 Minutes because I know we would be Inseparable, and then I could just Move On like the Games they play in Hollywood. But deep down I'm Still In Love With You. I don't wanna be Just Friends. I know I may be the Underdog in this situation, but I Am What I Am! I've been sending out an S.O.S hoping you'd help out some Poor Unfortunate Souls because I Wanna Be Like You. Now I know we're talking about the Kids Of The Future and it seems like it just may be Eternity before "Oh Jonas Brothers, Please Be Mine", but we can always take One Day At A Time. I want you to BB Good to me, but I'm a One Man Show. Sorry, I can't help that I'm Burnin' Up for you. It'll only be A Little Bit Longer until you are Pushin Me Away. My heart is on a Shelf because I Can't Have You. And everybody knows that I Live to Party. Well, I got bit by this Lovebugand now you've Got Me Goin' Crazy. Now it is Time For Me To Fly, so Goodnight and Goodbye! Put this on your page if you love the Jonas Brothers! If you have O.J.J.D (Obsessive Joseph Jonas Disorder), put this in your profile. When life hands you lemons, throw them back and yell... "I WANT THE JONAS BROTHERS!" If you love Camp Rock, copy this to your profile. If you are obsessed with Jonas Brothers to the point of insanity, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have a wall(more like walls) dedicated to your favorite Jonas brother (Joe!!), copy and paste this into your profile. JoBro Quotes: "It doesn't matter if life it getting you down, with Christ you have everything," Nicholas Jonas. "Live like your at the bottom, even if you're at the top," Joseph Jonas. "Girls with a strong belief system are beautiful in a great way," Kevin Jonas. Camp Rock: Shane: "One word: payback." Jason: "That's TWO words!" Shane: "I gotta finish what I came here to do." Jason: "Finish my birdhouse, right?" Jason: "Yeah, no go backs; it's like the golden rule." Nate: "No dude, the golden rule is tell the truth." Jason: "Dude, then it could be like the silver rule." Nate: "Why is it the silver rule?" Jason: "Ok, fine! The copper rule!" Nate: "The copper rule?" Jason: "Give me a hint, at least!" Hannah Montana: Nick: "That dude smells really good." Kevin and Joe slap the back of his head. Joe: "That's our song! ... isn't it?" Kevin: "I don't know, my ears are full of melted brain." Nick: "I kinda liked it." Joe and Kevin slap the back of his head. Nick: "You're like a legend dude, uh sir, sir dude." Nick: "You? I shared my nachos with that guy!" Kevin: "We're such big fans." Joe: "We love your music!" Nick: "You're pretty!" He gets slapped on the back of the head by Kevin. "Pretty good with the singing and and dancing you do. Wow, you're pretty." Youtube: Joe: "Hey, Kevin, what are you doing in there?" Kevin: "Oh, you know... stuff." Joe: "Awkward." "My name is Mufasa, I'm king of the land, I'll come smack you with the back of my hand." Kevin intruding on Joe's rap. Joe: "I wanna record a song with Michael Jackson, but I want a wall between us." Kevin: "Hi guys, we're here, making another video for you because you're awesome and -" Joe: "Whee!! I'm a ghost!" Nick: "So please, please, vote for us, guys, we love you." Kevin: "And maybe if you vote for us we'll carry on...burnin' up the charts!!" Joe: "YEAH!" Nick:"Kevin, you're sooo not funny." Joe: "My secret is...I am an actually an alien from the planet XZ315." Nick: "You are such a freak." Joe: "Watch me do a flip!...Oh crap!" Joe: "Look at Nick, he's a stud muffin." Interviewer: "What is your favorite store to shop at?" Nick: "I don't shop." Kevin: "Salvation Army." Joe:"Limited Too. And Payless Shoes." Interviewer: "What is your favorite restaurant?" Joe: "Limited Too." Fan Question: "What is your favorite animal?" Joe: "Barney...if that's an animal." Joe:"Mereal and Cilk." Joe: "Yo ma name is DJ Danger. They say it's dangerous to open umbrellas inside, but I AM DANGEROUS!" Joe:"Have a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Quaziggyziggyzam." Joe: "I went to the year 3000!" Nick: "Yo, that's illogical, I can't have it." Joe: "Hold on...to your bike...here's hold on." Joe: "I got my library card and I'm checkin' you out." Nick: "Slow down sugar cause I'm a diabetic." Nick: "My dog tag says Nicholas Jonas diabetes because I have diabetes." Joe: "You have diabetes?!" Nick: "Yeah, Joe, I do. Isn't that crazy?" Joe rapping to a kid's alphabet game: "Aw, you don't know what the letter is. This is the letter O-o." Joe making fun of Kevin's picture: "Hi I'm Kevin Jonas and I'd like to sell you a car!" Nick before he goes to bed: "It's time for the most exciting part of the night...retainer time!" Joe making fun of obsessed fan girls (like me):"OMG! Nick (No, Joe) you're so hot oh!" Joe making fun of texting:"Like, like, lol!" Joe: "I wonder if the Muffin Man has a grill? Oh yeah! Of course he has a grill!" Kevin: "He didn't say grill, she said 'grill'. As in, teeth grill." Joe "Well, he has a grill. A muffin grill!" Nick: "It's not a grill!" Joe: "Rice moves? Oh, nice moves, Joe. What kind of rice is that? Rice moves, don't eat it." Joe (in a southern accent): "I'm gonna kill you... with my gun. And then I'm gonna put you in the trunk of my car and drag you to the desert. And then I'm going to bring you home and make sure you're okay." Joe: "I had Barney fuzzy slippers!" Kevin: "Why do you have a knife?" Joe: "I don't know." Nick: "That's creepy." Joe: "The device I can't live without is a toaster." Joe:"Hi, I'm Enrique Iglesias." Joe: "Hi, mommy, hi. Can you draw my curtain, please?" Joe: "Everyday at three o'clock I become a different character." He dresses up like a nerd. "I'm allergic to flowers. I'm allergic to ocean water and... dental floss. I'm allergic to air." He falls, pretending to die. Later on... "Hey, all the ladies are going out with me, Nick." Demi Lovato comes in."Hey, lady! I got a new library card and I'm checkin you out!" Joe:"I just found out that Poptarts taste better if you put them in the oven or microwave." Kevin: "You're supposed to put them in the toaster." Nick:"Yeah, that's why they call them POPtarts!" Kevin: "They don't have instructions on how to crack an egg! It doesn't say, 'CRACK THIS'." Nick: "Yeah, that's because you don't have to!" Nick: "Yeah, I know this is supposed to be a romantic moment, but I just hit my funny bone on my guitar and I'm just stalling until it goes back to normal." Nick: "What's up guys? I'm just chillin' here. A lot of you guys think I don't like to talk, that's kinda true, but it's just because I don't have anything to say. I'm just kidding." He looks for his brothers. "Okay, guys, you can come back now." No answer. "I think that they actually went away." Nick:"I love Poptarts. I always have it with milk. If there's no milk, I'll freak out on everybody, like 'where's the milk?!'" Kevin: "Hi, I'm Kevin and the thing you don't know about me is..." He picks up an Xbox remote. "This remote is the only thing that controls my body." Kevin:"Hi Popstar! My biggest secret is that I have to make my bed before I go to sleep. It doesn't have to be made after I wake up, but I have to make it before I go to bed." Nick:"Hi Popstar!. My secret is, I don't do that." Kevin: "Yes! I want to get my motorcycle license immediately!" Joe: "I don't need no license. I ride a motorcycle any day of my life." Kevin: "Yeah, we'll see that!" JoBro Pairings Kevin/Danielle Nick/Maya, or Nick/Miley Joe/Me, Joe/Demi Songs that describe my life 1.If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say? 2.How would you describe yourself? 3.What do you like in a girl/guy? 4.How do you feel today? 5.What is your life's purpose? 6.What is your motto? 7.What do your friends think of you? 8.What do you think of your parents? 9.What do you think about very often? 10.What do you think of your best friend? 11.What do you think of the person you like? 12.What is your life story? 13.What do you want to be when you grow up? 14.What do you think of when you see the person you like? 15.What will you dance to at your wedding? Ave Maria by Beyonce 16.What will they play at your funeral? 17.What is your hobby/interest? 18.What is your biggest fear? 19.What is your biggest secret? 20.What do you think of your friends? I know there is quite a bit of Demi Lovato but her songs really speak to me. | |||||||
1. Everything Always Comes In Threes » reviewsThree very important moments in Shane and Mitchie's lives. Smitchie. Fluff.Camp Rock - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,096 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-19-09 - Shane G. & Mitchie T. - Complete2. Birthday Surprises » reviewsIt's Emmett's birthday and somethings up. AHTwilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,224 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 11-19-09 - Published: 1-25-09 - Bella & Edward3. Ways To Make Marcus Look Less Bored » reviewsThis mocks my fav characters in the series. :DTwilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 1,330 - Reviews: 40 - Updated: 1-25-09 - Published: 8-8-08 - Complete
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