I figured maybe I should say something here... huh?

So haythar. Right.

My name is Sizheng, sorta, but I'm not so secretive about my day-to-day name. It just seems kinda odd to stick it on a supposedly anonymous writing profile, so you'll have to make do with my Cantonese name translated into Mandarin, then romanised.

...mad? I know, isn't it brill? Capital, I knew you'd think so.

I live in Vancouver, BC--that's in Canada, for all the chaps and chappesses who are like me and fail at political geography. I like rocks, not borders. Trees don't change just because one particular type grows over the border in the United States of 'Merica and not in Our Frozen Popsicle Land (which is, by the way, a myth).

Digressing. Maybe I should just stick one of them Name/Age/Location ones... yeah. I think I'll do that. It'd at least put a stop to the monologuing, wouldn't it? Wouldn't it?

No, I didn't think so either.

Name: Zhang Sizheng

Age: Young enough not to know anything, but old enough to know she doesn't know anything.

Sex: Uhm. (points at the agecaption) I'm female. I've got some of my friends I convinced that I used to be male, but I'm female, last I went to the loo. Have been female since my mother's womb, even. Ask her if you don't believe me. :D

Location: Vancouver, BC. Pacific Time Zone (-8:00)

Occupation: Second year of BA at the U of BC. Wow, I'm practically spilling my location to you, aren't I? I'm stupid and trusting and very very stupid. But that's okay. People like me are what Mums around the world need as a not-so-shining example: "you shouldn't make friends with strangers, because then you'll find yourself hacked to pieces in a ditch of some kind".

Aaaaand, the following, in no particular order...

Likes: Her wives, her husbands, cracking racist jokes, anime, manga, her family, friends, rock climbing, Hatake Kakashi, lilies-of-the-valley (how do you pluralise them, anyhow?), fanfiction, well-written crossovers (thought I oughta emphasise the "well-written" part), her unofficial adopted family, skiing, Kaiba Seto, lemonade, needlework, embroidery, Star Wars, Darth Vader (Star Wars because of Darth Vader, just about!), Disney (sorta. They kinda screw things over with the happily-ever-after thing), Disney songs, musicals, grubbing around in the dirt, judo, poetry, books, fantasy, cats, Cats: the Musical (in your face, Ryanbunny), flowers, mountain-climbing, gay men... writing lists. Because this is solely for my benefit. It's not like I expect people to read through this crap.

Dislikes: People who turn their backs on friends, teenagers, fake wood (how are you possibly supposed to knock on wood if the shite's fake?), IKEA by default (I don't care how useful they are or the fact that I shop there--all there stuff's made of faux-wood!), violence, homophobia, people who call anime "cartoons", penises (I don't hold much affection for things that look like someone chopped a worm in half and turned it inside out), racism (in earnest), discrimination, people who think World Peace is plausible, meaningless conflict, hairy men, body hair in general (I don't have to shave and you didn't need to know that, but now you're jealous 'cause I'm made of win. Hah! ...ah, well. It's not like anyone reads these things, anyway), people who rag on my family (they normally die with toothpicks through their brains and their eyefluids leaking out onto their cheeks... hang on, aren't profiles supposed to be G-rated? Heh, I better stop here...).

Things That Fascinate Me Against My Will: Profiles. Sex organs (floral or otherwise). The strange squeaking noise my brother's kitten makes when I poke her or squeeze her. Frying oatmeal. Facial stubble (yuck. It's sorta fun to rub your face all over it, tho the burn afterwards is... less enjoyable. My roommate has been surprisingly tolerant of my wandering up to him and just smearing my face against his. What can I say? he doesn't like it, he can damn well do a better job shaving). E-cards. Young photos of old people. Religion. Standing on my head and waiting to see if I pass out if I'm upside-down long enough.

Endeth generic profile. Awaken, o flock of fickshunchickuns, that we might have ficcage!

...I am such a freak.

I guess I should point out that my homepage (livejournal) has a number of fics and fragments that I haven't posted here. They're all public, however, so you needn't an account, or to have friended me to see them. But friends are nice! So... hallo. Let us be friends! (Hides the jackhammer and thumbscrews behind her back).

Oneshots:

Title: As Time Goes By

Status: Complete (Posted Oneshot)

Rating: T (for Jiraiya's pottymouth)

Characters: Jiraiya and Kakashi (with some Sakumo and Minato)

Pairing(s): Jiraiya x Kakashi (friendship, deeper implied)

Notes: This is a Jiraiya/Kakashi fic... (pauses to let the screams die down) jeez, no need to be so horrified. It's mostly an introspective, reflective piece. More of a character study than anything else, since I suck bawls at writing romance. (No, that was not a misspelling. Just a confusing choice of diction). I wrote it for the lovely Checkerbloom, whose writing I fell in love with (and I begged her to marry me and she accepted and now we're o so gloriously gleeful with a child on the way).

Erm. Maybe you should just read it instead. (grin)

Title: Century: Ten Times Ten

Status: Incomplete (Drabble Anthology)

Rating: M (because 'tis slightly citrusy)

Characters: Kakashi; All Characters

Pairings: Kakashi x Asuma (so far). Planned Kakashi x Tsunade; Kakashi x Minato x Kushina; Kakashi x Anko, Kakashi x Shikamaru...

Notes: Century is a drabble anthology. I get prompted by my darlingwife Novocain on what was supposed to be a weekly basis, but I've been naughty and haven't kept up with it...

Eitherhow, I take ten prompts, write ten drabbles. I do this ten times. In short, I write a hundred drabbles total, but I group them in tens because a) 'tis nice that way and b) I just feel like it, okay? I come up with pairings for each "decade", and the first decade is Asuma x Kakashi (admittedly because of "Cigarettes", the first prompt).

Mostly, this is just an excuse to practice less conventional Kakashi pairings. :3 The second decade will be Minato x Kakashi x Kushina.

Title: (Untitled As of Yet) YamaKaka request

Status: Planning Stages (Planned Oneshot)

Rating: T (for pottymouth, methinking, tho possible violent imagery and slight citrus flavour)

Characters: Tenzo (Yamato), Kakashi, other?

Pairing(s): Yamato x Kakashi

Notes: I was sorta on a gleehigh after As Time Goes By. Since I'd actually finished it and all. It had been promised at least five months previous, and... well, never completed. So! After writing that one, I told wifeh Checkerbloom, "Tell me your greatest desire", and she thought about it for a bit and then said "YamaKaka!"

YamaKaka it is.

Title: Untitled (The Hornpipe Fic)

Status: Unposted (Completely Planned and Notated and Researched)

Rating: K+ / T to be safe

Characters: Sakumo, Kakashi's Mum!OFC (Origina Female Character)

Pairing(s): Sakumo x OFC (Kakashi's mother), Kakashi x Tsunami (onesided implied)

Notes: Tsunami'd be Inari's mum. You know... the angsty, annoying kid from Wave? Yeah.

SO. This was inspired when I was at my wife Imaguoy's highland dancing recital. I watched her do a sword dance, and was already wondering how to work something similar into a fic when her teacher danced the Sailor's Hornpipe for us.

I was enthralled. Particularly after Imaguoy told me some of her interpretation of the dance.

The whole time, I was imagining Kakashi dancing on his father's grave.

So that image started off the fic. It'll be two parts love story, two parts reminiscing and some smattering of angst. Or something. Imaguoy, I love you.

Multi-chaptered Stories:

Title: Antipodean

Status: Incomplete (Posted Multichapter)

Rating: M (overall--T for the most part)

Characters: Kakashi, Minato and Kushina; All Characters.

Pairing(s): femme!Kakashi x Kushina x Minato main (and all subpairings existing therein); femme!Kakashi x Kurenai; femme!Kakashi x Zabuza; possible femme!Kakashi x Genma, onesided femme!Kakashi x Gai (oy... do any of you stick to one relationship during your lifetime? Call her a whore and overprotectivesensei!Minato-san will rip your legs from their sockets and beat you senseless with the wet ends).

Notes: My Femme!Kakashi mad epic. It started out as a "...I wanna write a femme!Kakashi Team Seven fic", 'cause the dynamics would surely be funtabulous to play with. Then Falling-Right-Side-Up insisted on Minato living, and then planted an image of KakaZabu in my head. Uhhh... yeah.

And then it snowballed from there. Right now, there will probably be three parts:

Artemis will be a series of outtakes and oneshots spanning from Kakashi's birth to fourteen, fifteen years of age or so. It will be primarily Minato x Kushina, and genfic otherwise. Mostly just a collection of oneshots on "what might have been".

Aphrodite is a drama and romance piece involving the manifestation of the mad MinKakaShina pairing (my OT3, oddly enough).

Athena is the Team Seven fic that was originally planned.

I've never written romance in earnest before, so I'm a little at a loss and somewhat sulky. Sure, there'll be action/adventure if I can work it in, but for the most part, it's a ridiculously glorified character study. (Looks at pairings and sweatdrops) And no, Kakashi will not be one of those layabout sluts... there will probably not be all that much citrus in this fic, implied or otherwise. 'Cept maybe in Aphrodite, but we'll see.

So that's my biggest project right now.

Edit: That's not my biggest project right now, because I'm a fickle young laydee and it seems a whole host of plotbunnies have chosen my head in which to procreate. The bastards! See "On The Sad Height" to find out what has captured my attention. Le sigh.

Edit the Second: "Artemis Arrant" (Book of Artemis) is posted.

Title: On The Sad Height

Status: Incomplete (Posted Multichaptered)

Rating: T (for the most part...?)

Characters: Kakashi, Sakumo; All Characters.

Pairing(s): None (the rare and much-loved genfic!) Sakumo x Kakashi (father-son family relationship)

Notes: One day, a pair of copulating plot bunnies fell out of the sky and sank through layers of hair-skin-bone-grey matter to become firmly entrenched within my mind. It simply started as "ZOMG WHAT IF SAKUMO COMES BACK TO LIFE?!" and... I sorta ran with it as said copulating plot bunnies did their damnest to make me miserable by cluttering up my already cluttered mind with multitudes of their progeny. Fuck.

So now I have up 'til chapter eight planned, and have enlisted the enthusiastic and gorgeously lovelyful Checkerbloom to help me in the writing of (or at least heavy consultation). And... I am very excited. Very excited to see this written.

Title: That Which One Hears

Status: Incomplete (Posted WIP)

Rating: T

Characters: Kakashi and Team Seven-centric, OFC (Kakashi's mother), some of Ino.

Pairings: None for now... a Team Seven genfic for the most part.

Notes: "That Which One Hears" involves a writing style I'm currently experimenting with. It's a genin!Team Seven fic I've been planning for a while, with Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura following Kakashi one day when they're not supposed to and--tah-dah! Cute revelations!plot bunny. It's a fic involving an OFC--Kakashi's mother. There's a planned prequel, too, about how she and Sakumo meet. It'd prolly be just a oneshot, tho--I'm not interested in writing OC romances. All in all, it's not about Kakashi being a douchebag or rumours, although the rumours are a subplot meant to entertain.

...Bah. I make it sound like such a yawn. But I had fun writing parts of it, although I'm nervous about writing twelve-year-old!Naruto-tachi. I remember when I was twelve. I was a brat. It scares me to dip into those memories in order to write them. (Sigh).

Title: We Commit His Body is a short character study involving Kakashi, Minato, some implied MinKaka, Sakumo and Jiraiya. Because I love the lot of them.

Status: Incomplete (Posted WIP)

Rating: T (for violent imagery. Nyahaha.)

Characters: Kakashi and Minato; Jiraiya, Sakumo (My fave four!)

Pairing(s): Minato x Kakashi (implied)

Notes: It's my fic using Kakashi and Sakumo's family name (Hatake--"dry field") to write something about shinobi having come from the peasants of the land. It is true, however, when I mentioned that kunai evolved from trowels. Such weapons were easy to hide and were used mostly as a stabbing point as opposed to a projectile or cutting edge, however. This "from the land" theme is something I plan on exploring in a couple of my other stories, too.

It's been split into three parts--"Earth to Earth"; "Ashes to Ashes" and "Dust to Dust". Because I felt like beating everyone over the head with the symbolism cudgel.

Title: (Untitled As of Yet) Jinchuriki!Kakashi fic

Status: Planning Stages (Unposted WIP)

Rating: T

Characters: Kakashi, Kushina, Naruto

Pairing(s): Kakashi x Kushina friendship, Team Seven mentorship

Notes: A Jinchuriki!Kakashi fic loosely based off of Raikune's "An Unlikely Hero"--in which Kakashi was at Yondaime's side That Night and he sealed Kyubi into his student instead. A what might have been, really.

Things definitely to be explored: effect on Kakashi's chakra reserves and resulting strength, Kushina being alive, Naruto's relationship to Kakashi and the effect on both if he had been around during Naruto's younger years, what the storyline would be like if Naruto had not been jinchuriki.

This is the child I mentioned earlier. You know... the one I'm carrying for Checkerbloom? Because it's our darling baby and we are hashing out some details and concepts together, tho it seems like I'll be doing a bunch of the labour... o, 'tis suck to be a mother...

But it sounds like great fun! So yesh. It shall happen. Somehow. Mufufufufu. Fu. o.o;;

Disclaimer: I don’t own the anime Naruto. ’Else some bad things that aren’t at all Naruto-like would be in there… and all homophobes watching it would be forever scarred. Heh.

Note: Disclaimer to be constant throughout all chapters and stories.