HEY WHAT'S UP!...

I'm Jeremy A. (Armin) Duchow (Or more commonly as I'm known on the old I net...J-Dog007

Age: 20 (Even though I've had chicks come over saying I look like I'm 25...)

Race: American Indian (That's why I'm so dark in my avatar.)

Height: 6' 1"

Weight: Usually 230, when I diet down 210

Favorite Movie: A View To A Kill

Favorite Music Genre: Instrumental, (no lyrics, most lyrics today are crap!)

Things I despise: All celebrity crap, Oprah, People doing stupid (not funny) things, Bitchy Girls, Cussing used in inaproprite situations, Crappy music, and a great deal of today's pop culture...

Personality: Gruff, Attiutudial and Irritable yet Shy and quiet, but humerous and idiotic!

I'm a aspiring writer, artist and DIE-HARD BODYBUILDER! (Heh, what a wierd combination...)

Most stories I post on fanfiction.net are usually about my #1 Favorite Show! (Seth MacFarlane's - Family Guy)

I find this show the funniest show I've ever seen on TV! and I watch it all the time, - usually on adult swim.

My other favorites are The Simpsons, Futurama, and Robot Chicken as well as some of the cartoons on Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon...Ex: The Fairy Odd Parents, Ed Edd and Eddy, SpongeBob Squarepants etc: I am a DIE-HARD James Bond fan, (Hence my username J-Dog 007) and also a Indiana Jones fan and finally a long-time Titanic Buff!

My pastimes and hobbies are Writing, Drawing, Watching TV, playing video games, getting wasted and vocal improving: (I do entire skits with Peter and the gang at the clam talking about all sorts of things like politics, pop culture etc: (Things get very funny and sometimes, very raunchy! Rating MA)...I do a pretty good Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland, Joe and Brian: as well as Tom Tucker, Herbert, Bruce the performing artist, Kevin Swanson and Cleveland Jr.

Also I do Nutty Professor (Klump-family) skits: Focusing on the absolute war between Granny Klump and Cletus when it comes to their sex lives (Now thing go from MA to AO with these skits) LOL

All my family guy stories are part of my very own season called Season X which I place in the canon right after "Play at again Brian" and focus on my favorite characters: Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland, Joe, Brian, Meg, Stewie...

(MY TOP 10 FAVORITE FAMILY GUY CHARACTERS!)...

My favorite character is Joe!, he reminds me so much of my self...it's ridiculous! (From the athleticism to the machismo to the short-fuse temper to the loud booming voice and like Joe I've got a rather embarrasing dilema that I could call a disabiltiy, I'm not telling you though and NO it has nothing to do with sex...alright!)(In my opinion I remind my self exactly of his son Kevin in build and personality.) "ALL RIGHT LET'S DO IT!""HOW CAN YOU AFFORD THESE THINGS!" "All right, who's the wise guy who put the speed bump here...IT'S NOT FUNNY!"...LOL!

Second is Peter, he is such an Idiot! and that is what makes him so funny. "Heh heh heh heh heh!""He DID things to my FANNY!"

Third is Quagmire - his sexual deviancy is hilarious! "Well Hello, Ya know you must be this beautiful to ride the Quagmire!""Giggty! Giggity! Giggtiy! let's a have SEX!"

Fouth is Cleveland - He's so monotone and that what makes him funny, "Lorreta's mother was hankering for a snack so we had to pick her up some kibbles and bits." "CLEVELAND!" "I mean Cheez-it's.""Uh-oh, Look like you put Peter in the dog house...with is where your moth..."DON'T SAY IT!"..."Your mother smells."

Fifth, is Brian - (now I have a love/hate relationship with Brian.) His sophisticated attitude relates a lot to me especially when he insults crap I HATE! like crap television (AKA: MTV crap shows, Celebrity crap shows etc; I DISPISE THAT STUFF!) but some times his pesemistic attitude toward politics and religion gets on my last nerves! For one Brian, is a devout liberal and so am I on many topics: I'm for gay marriage, and stem cell research and environmental protection and conservation and I believe the world was created by the big bang and that evolution should be taught in the classrooms...(I absolutely hate abortion though; commiting murder for sex; I will never! support that!)

On the other hand, I am a Christian...but I believe homosexual's can go to heaven and that the church likes to focus more on particular parts of the Bible based on their own bias and racism...(I would never hear the end of it from my mom and the church locals they found out I said THAT!...P.S. I live in the South.) Also, I choose not to shove my faith down people throats like many Christians do. I'f someone chooses Christianity is gonna be on their own not because I talked them into it! I respect all religions even Scientology; (Tom is a moron though; jumping on a couch like a fool, retard!)

When he bashes religion it pisses me off, especially that one incident in "You may now this the uh...guy who receives." where Brian insults the story of Noah; the flashback gag was funny but the way he said it made him sound like a total dk Also he's so wishly washy on religion in some episodes he's a atheist (like Seth MacFarlane) and others he mentions the existence of God...uh make up your mind already! Anyhow despite his flaws and bias ;Brian still one of top five favorite characters. (Man was his girlfriend dumb, shines a light to distract Jillian) HA! (oh, and to this day for some reason I still can't get Penaut Butter Jelly time?)...

Sixth is Meg - Now I really feel sorry for Meg, Why the writers decided to make her a punching bag...I will never know! What disgusts me the most is that her own parent treat her like crap...that's just wrong and NOT funny!(I do love the watermelon gag from "I take thee Quagmire" not how it hurts Meg but that Peter did it just to show off to the guys how his maid would have to clean up the huge mess! BOOM! That's why I hooked Meg up with Kevin Swanson, she needed someone who she knew would never hurt her; and his quiet/timid personality fits well in that sense... even Brian act's somewhat mean to her in my opinion and Chris just treats her in the standard brother-sister relationship. Also this gives me a chance to do what the writers deglected, develop Kevin. (See my article in the Meg forum.)

Seventh is Stewie - Oh boy what can I say, Stewie is Hilarious! "But to promised the Fat One would perish?" LOL! The first seasons where the best when he seeked to end his mother's vile! matriarchal tyranny! (The Stewie kills Lois - Lois kills Stewie saga was excellent!) "All the nation's milk must come from hilary swanks breasts." LOL. (This is just me) but the most recent seasons where he is a crook are not that funny to me; I don't get what's so funny about Stewie beating the crap out of Brian over a stupid 50? now 500 or 1'000 would make more sense. Now Stewie trying to destroy brocolli, conqueror Joe's wheelchair, or kill his mother with some contraption; that stuff is a laugh riot! "One day I shall unlock the secret of that device, and when I do, Mother, Victory shall be..." (snicker)I think Stewie finally relaizes that Joe's wheelchair is not some high-tech weapon he can use to enslave Quahog and the world! LOL!

Eighth is Mayor Adam West - He's Crazy! He's Hilarious! and his quotes are so absurd! "Well, Well Mr. Toilet, I though you where in the Hamptons?" LOL! "Prepare to meet your maker at the hands of my cat launcher!" LMAO! "Nobody messes with Adam We..." LMAO! "

Ninth is Lois - She acts like a typical housewife, but when she goes wild! LOOK OUT! "Women are such teases, that's why I went back to men." LOL!

And Tenth is Chris - He's so much like his dad..."What's the point of digging nose gold if I can't share it with the towns people?" LOL! "I'm going to turn you into poo." LOL!

Finally they're probably not one character that I dislike on the show, Heck, I even like Herbert! his "hhhmmmmm cracks me up" I love all the people on Spooner St. and all the crazy citizens of Quahog, RI. the only character I dislike is Jaspers Philipino boyfriend, all he does is stare, and that gives be the creeps, also the thought of that flamboyant dog and him doing it in the bedroom makes me want to blow chunks... Stewie - "I heard you and your chew-toy getting it on last night, keep it down!" (Oh YUCK!)

and now to my stories...

(NOTE: I do not add any new characters to any of my stories; the only unoffical character is me. and I only make an appearance after the end of a few particular stories; at the end of "When Kevin Met Meg" I willl talk to the main characters in a fouth wall breaking scene, and will get into a VERY! heated argument with Stewie when he insults me on various things! Also many character's may and will break the fouth wall, mentioning me and possibly getting into discussions or arguments.)

The first one is "When Kevin Met Meg" it is a the season opener and focuses on how Meg and Kevin finally hook up. It has homages to The Price is Right (I love that show!), and The Nutty Professor (The world famous dinner (disaster)scenes...) I will dive deep into the character development for both Kevin and Meg in this story, also it will be somewhat romantic with the usual FG dumb humor in generous portions.

Second is "Road to New Orleans" Peter and the gang go down to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. (Let your imagination go wild and you'll know where this story is going.) (Drunken morons + a giant party = stupidity and hilarious comedy.)

Thrid is "Say NO to Oprah" Peter and the gang sucessfully ban women talk shows from Quahog; to their wives and all the women in Quahog's displeasure. (This one gona be crazy!))(Peter battles Oprah at the end in a highlander esqe battle:)(Robot Chicken, Lohan vs. Duff)

(OPRAH IS EVIL! that woman literally controls middle aged women, It's just not right!)

Fouth is "Highway to Spooner St." When Mayor Adam West proposes a new interstate connection to downtown Quahog, the plans show it will go right through Spooner St. so the whole neighborhood bans together to save their homes! (Will have a more serious tone.)

Story five is still in the thought process...

In all, I plan to do around 12 stories or more for this season with the last story coming up around the time Family Guy finally ends; which I hope isn't for a VERY! VERY! VERY! LONG! TIME!

Finally I make art for scenes in my Family Guy stories as well as simcity models and Titanic art: (Check them out at http/j-dog007.deviantart.com/) also any updates and releases times for story chapters are available here as well.

Email: j.dog.007@hotmail.com

Note: I do not have a Myspace or a Face Book or AOL instant mssenger and I don't want one! You see unlike some...people my age I dispise getting bugged all the time by my friends by then sending me stupid crap, that I could care less about... the reason I've got receive pics disabled on my cell!

And that's it... I'm Outa Here

J-Dog007