Poll: If you lived in the Avatar World, what type of bender would you be? Vote Now!
Author has written 19 stories for Avatar: Last Airbender, Artemis Fowl, Redeeming Love, and Tangled.
Quote of my Life:
"To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the inner music that words make."
Bible Verse: "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32 NIV
1) Yes, I am a Christian. No, I do not shove my beliefs down people's throats. I will express my convictions happily and freely if given the opportunity, but I am not here to seek to disprove your beliefs, only to spread the Word. Whether you believe it or not is your choice. I am only here to say that God loves you and he wants you to know him truly and fully the only way we humans can--through Jesus Christ.
2) BETA NEEDED!!!! I can't stress enough how important it is for me to have someone who can motivate my sorry butt to finish writing the several stories I have unfinished. All the ideas are there in my head, I just have trouble getting them down in a recognizable and quality manner. If you or anyone you know is willing to work with me to help keep my brain moving, I would so appreciate it!! PLEASE! My stories are depending on it!
3) ¡¡SE NECESITA AYUDA!! Ahora, estoy intentando traducir algunas de mis fanfics a español. Pero, no soy fluido en la lengua, y necesito mucha ayuda. Si está leyendo este mensaje y estaría ayudarme con esta tarea, por favor me envió una nota en mi bandeja de entrada por FF.net. ¡Muchas gracias!
JESUSFREAK's FAVORITE AVATAR QUOTES!
For those of you that don't watch avatar often...well, here's a treat for you! Unfortunately, under the circumstances, I can't rewrite the eps for you here because that (obviously enough) would take years! So, here's some little snippets (hmm...snippets. I like that word!) of parts of random eps I thought were funny! FYI...due to my loss of memory some of these quotes might be a bit (or a lot) off of the actual word on the show. I know I got the meaning down, but the exact quote might have been slightly jumbled about. WARNING: Spoilers!
1. "(Toph) 'What are you doing here, Twinkletoes?' (Aang) 'We're here to talk to you.' (Sokka) 'Don't answer to Twinkletoes! It's not manly!' (Katara) 'This from the guy whose bag matches his belt!'" Book 2-The Blind Bandit
2. "'(Aang) 'What happened to the fire? And the tent?' (Sokka) 'Why don't you ask Miss Know it all, Queen of the twigs!' (Katara) 'Oh yeah? Well you're Mister Lazy Bum! King of the...(throws a tent pole, it bounces off Sokka's head)...tents!'" Book 1-The Great Divide
3. "(Aang) 'Sokka, the arrow's on Appa's head.'
4. "(Sokka) 'Okay! Mr. Spirit of Karma or whoever's in charge of these things...if I ever get out of this, I'll give up sarcasm...and meat! There! That's all I got. Basically my whole identity! But from now on I'm willing to be Sokka the veggies and straight-talk fellow.'" Book 2-Bitter Work
5. (Ah, this is one of my favorites. Sokka creates a Haiku off the top of his head. Boy he's awesum-ola!) "'They call me Sokka, That is, in the Water Tribe. I-am-not-an-oaf.'" Book 2-Tales of Ba Sing Se
6. (Aang, in disbelief, talking to Katara) 'Us? Kissing?' (Katara, laughing nervously) 'Yeah, pretty crazy idea, huh?' (Aang, dreamily) 'Us...Kissing...'" Book 2-The Cave of the two lovers
7. (Aang is so funny in this!) "'I'm just saying that I'd rather kiss you than die! That's a compliment!' (Katara yells over her shoulder, storming off) 'Yeah, well, I'm not sure which I'd rather do!' (Aang to himself in frustration) 'What is wrong with me?'" Book 2- the Cave of the Two lovers
8. (This is also in the Cave of the Two Lovers, I luv the nomads! Chong, Lily, and Moku. They're hilarious:) )
"Two lovers, forbidden from one another, a war divides their people, and a mountain divides them apart...Built a path to be to-gether...-Yeah, I can't remember the next few lines but then it goes-...SECRET TUNNEL! SECRET TUNNEL! THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS...SECRET SECRET SECRET SECRET TUNNEL! Yeah!" oh, and also..."and DIIIIIIIIIIIIE."
9. "(Aang) Okay, you caught me, I'm the Avatar, doing my Avatar thing. Keeping the world safe. Everything checks out! No firebenders here! So...good job, everyone! Love each other, respect life, and don't run with your spears!" Book 1- The King Of Omashu
10. "(Momo) 'You, my friend, are just a few plums short of a fruit pie.'" Book 3-Nightmares and Daydreams :D
11. "(Toph) 'You know what I just heard? Blah blah...spiritual mumbo jumbo...blah blah...something about space.'" Book 3-Day Of Black Sun Part 1
12. "(Yu) 'Pants are an illusion. And so is death." Book 3- Day of Black Sun Part 1
13. "(Azula) 'Together, you and I will be the strongest couple in the world. WE WILL DOMINATE THE EARTH!'" Book 3-The Beach
14. "(Zuko) 'What about this situation makes you think they want us to dance?'" Book 3-The Firebending Masters
15. "(Zuko) 'Hey, watch it! That food was for my cranky girlfriend!'" Book 3-The Beach
16. "(Aang) 'You just had to pick up the glowing egg, didn't you?'" Book 3-The Firebending Masters
17. "(Zuko) 'Why am I so bad at being good!?'" Book 3-The Western Air Temple
18. "(Sokka) 'My first girlfriend turned into the moon.' (Zuko, sympathetically) 'That's rough, buddy.'" Book 3-The Boiling Rock, part 1
19. "(Aang) ‘You know what? I think you’re jealous!’ (Katara) ‘Jealous?! Of what?’ (Aang) ‘That we’re having so much fun without you.’ (Katara) ‘What? That’s ridiculous!’ (Aang) ‘It is a little ridiculous, but I understand.’ (Katara glares at Aang and stomps off)” Book 1-The Warriors of Kyoshi
20. "(Aang) 'This is Appa, my flying bison.' (Sokka) 'Right, and this is Katara, my flying sister.'" Book 1-The Boy in the Iceberg
21. "(Sokka) 'We're in enemy territory. Those are enemy birds!'" Book 3-The Headband
22. "(Katara, smiling) 'I like your hair.' (Aang, horrified) 'I have hair?! How long was I out?'" Book 3-The Awakening
23. "(Zuko) 'Ahhh... what would Uncle say? Sometimes clouds have two sides: a dark and light and a silver lining in the middle. It's like a silver sandwich. So... when life seems hard, take a bite out of the silver sandwich...' (Sokka) 'Maybe we haven't failed after all!' (Zuko) 'That's the spirit! Wow, I can't believe that worked! I didn't even know what I was saying...' (Sokka) 'No, not you! What you said made no sense at all!'" Book 3-The Boiling Rock Part 1
24. "(Toph) 'We can take them! Three on three.' (Sokka) 'Actually, Toph, there's four of us.' (Toph) 'Oh, sorry, I wasn't counting you. You know, since you're not a bender, and all.' (Sokka, blowing up) 'I CAN STILL FIGHT!' (Toph) 'Fine then. We're three on three--plus Sokka.'" Book 2-The Chase
25. " (Professor Zei) 'You're a living relic!' (Aang) 'Thanks, I try.'" Book 2-The Library
26. "(Katara, whipping out a piece of paper) 'Then, what is THIS?' (Toph) 'I DON'T KNOW! Seriously, what's with you people? I'm blind!'" Book 3-The Runaway
27. "(Sokka) 'What did you call me?!' (Katara) 'A GIANT-EARED creatin! Look at those things! Do herds of animals use them for shade?'" Book 2-Imprisoned
28. "(Sokka) 'What could you possibly do for a country full of depraved little fire monsters?' (Aang) 'I'm gonna throw them...a secret dance party!' (Sokka, in mock anger) 'Go to your room!'" Book 3-The Headband
29. "(Katara) 'We're safe now Sokka, you can take the moustache off.' (Sokka) 'No I can't. It's permanently glued to my skin...'" Book 3- The Headband
30. "(Sokka) 'I am a fan of secret rivers...'" Book 3-The Headband
31. "(Sokka) 'It's a special knot!' (Wan Shi Tong) 'You're not very bright, are you?'" Book 2-The Library
32. "(Hakoda) 'Sokka, there's no prison in the world that can hold two Water Tribe geniuses.' (Sokka, dejectedly) 'Then we better find two.'" Book 3-The Boiling Rock, Part 2
33. "(Sokka) 'Giant light beams... flying bison... airbender... I think I’ve got Midnight Sun Madness. I’m going home to where stuff makes sense.'" Book 1-The Boy in the Iceberg
34. "(Sokka) 'Great. You’re an Airbender, Katara’s a Waterbender; together you can just waste time all day long.'" Book 1-The Boy in the Iceberg
35. "(Aang, pointing to various places on a map) 'Here we’ll ride the hopping llamas. Then waaaay over here we’ll surf on the backs of giant koi fish. Then back over here we’ll ride the hog-monkeys. They don’t like people riding them, but that’s what makes it fun!'" Book 1-The Avatar Returns
36. "(Aang, to Momo) 'I'm going to pretend I didn't pretend to hear that.'" Book 3-Sozin's Comet Pt 3-The Old Masters
37. "(Iroh Actor) 'Choose Treachery! It's more fun!'" Book 3-The Ember Island Players
38. “(Aang) ‘Zuko, I think the past is trying to kill me!’” Book 3-The Firebending Masters
39. “(Sokka) ‘I’m the plan guy, and you two are the cut-stuff-up-with-waterbending guys. Together, we’re Team Avatar!’” Book 2-The Drill
40. “(Chong) ‘Nobody react to what I’m going to tell you…but I think that kid over there is the Avatar!’ (Sokka smacks his forehead)” Book 2-The Cave of the Two Lovers
41. "(Katara) 'It says here that the earth king is throwing a party for his pet...bear.'
(Aang) 'You mean platypus-bear.'
(Katara, shaking her head) 'No, it just says 'bear'.'
(Sokka) 'Certainly you mean his pet Skunk-bear.'
(Toph) 'Or his Armadillo-bear.'
(Toph) 'This place is weird.'" Book 2-City of Walls and Secrets
42. "(Village Leader) 'Firebenders have landed on our shores! Girls, come quickly!' (Sokka) 'Hey! I’m not a...oh, whatever.'" Book 1-Warriors of Kyoshi
43. "(Sokka) 'It’s dark down here! I can’t see a thing!' (Toph, sarcastically) 'Oh no, what a nightmare!'" Book 2-The Drill
44. "(Katara) 'Why are you smiling at me like that?' (Aang looks surprised) 'Oh, I was smiling?' (Sokka groans)" Book 1- The Boy in the Iceberg
45. "(Katara) 'You've got a little dirt on your...well, everywhere, actually.' (Toph) 'You call it dirt. I call it a healthy coating of earth.'" Book 2-Tales of Ba Sing Se
46. "(Toph) '...The images are all fuzzy.' (Appa roars) 'Not that there’s anything wrong with fuzzy!'" Book 2-The Library
47. "(Katara) 'He’s the Avatar, Sokka. Making peace between people is his job.' (Sokka, sighing dejectedly) 'His job is going to make us cross this entire thing on foot, isn't it?'" Book 1- The Great Divide
48. "(Toph points) 'THERE IT IS!' (everyone looks up excitedly) (Toph) 'That’s what it will sound like when one of you spots it!'" Book 2-The Library
49. "(Zuko) 'These are the masters?' (Aang whispers) 'You still think we can take them?' (Zuko) 'Shh! I never said that.' Book 3-The Firebending Masters
50. "(Sokka) 'It's a GIANT mushroom...MAYBE IT'S FRIENDLY!! Friendly mushroom...mushy giant friend...'" Book 2-The Desert
51. "(Sokka) 'Hey, jerks. Mind if I watch you two jerks do your jerkbending?' (Zuko) 'Get out of here!'" Book 3-The Firebending Masters
52. "(Zuko, dejectedly) 'Listen everybody;I've got some pretty bad news. I've lost my stuff.' (Toph, raising both arms) 'Don't look at me. I didn't touch your stuff.'" Book 3-The Firebending Masters
53. "(Toph) 'You're gonna need to learn to draw your firebending from a different source. I recommend the original source.' (Sokka) 'How's he supposed to do that? By jumping into a volcano?' (Toph) 'No. Zuko needs to go back to whatever the original source of firebending is.' (Sokka) 'So...is it jumping into a volcano?'" Book 3-The Firebending Masters
54. "(Aang, tugging on Zuko's arm) 'Zuko, get over here! I want you to dance with me!' (Zuko, recoiling) 'What?' (Aang, impatiently) 'Just do it.'" Book 3-The Firebending Masters
The following seven quotes were requested by Amelia K. Thomas:
55. "(Sokka) 'Drink cactus juice, It'll quench ya. Nothings Quenchier. It's the quenchiest!'" Book 2-The Desert
56. "(Aang) 'I don't do that! That's not what I'm like! And I'm NOT a woman!'" Book 3- The Ember Island Players
57. "(Suki) 'You never told me you kissed the Moon Spirit.' (Sokka, completely wrapped up in the action on stage) 'Shh, I'm trying to watch!'" Book 3-The Ember Island Players
58. "(Kid) 'Nice Zuko costum. But your scar's on the wrong side.' (Zuko, upset) 'It is not on the wrong side!'" Book 3-The Ember Island Players
59. "(Zuko, to himself) 'What would uncle say...? (Imitating Iroh, slowly and thoughtfully) Zuko, you must look within yourself to free yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self, reveal itself. (Frustrated) Even when I talk for him I don't understand what he's saying!'" Book 3- The Western Air Temple
60. "(The Duke, dejectedly) 'I miss Pipsqueak.' (Sokka) 'I miss not having blisters on my feet.'" Book 3- The Western Air Temple
61. "(Haru) 'Race you, Duke.' (The Duke) 'I told you, it's THE Duke.'" Book 3-The Western Air Temple
62. "(Toph) 'Well, that was random.'" Book 3-The Beach: This is my action phrase!!
63. "(Boulder) 'The Boulder feels conflicted about fighting a young, blind girl.' (Toph, tauntingly) 'Sounds to me like your scared, Boulder!' (Boulder) 'The Boulder is over his conflicted feelings, and is now ready to bury you...in a landslide.' (Toph) 'Whenever you're ready, The Pebble! (laughs scornfully)'" Book 2-The Blind Bandit
64. "(Katara) 'He's just upset because a bunch of girls kicked his butt yesterday.' (Sokka, in protest) 'They snuck up on me!'
65. "(Zuko) 'Just breathe, and...' (punches. A pathetic spurt of fire appears and dissapates) (Aang, sitting up) 'That one kind of felt hot.' (Zuko) 'Don't patronize me! You know what it's supposed to look like.' (Aang, dipping his head) 'Sorry, Sifu Hotman.' (Zuko) 'And stop calling me that!'" Book 3-The Firebending Masters
66. "(Toph) 'Seriously, you guys didn't find any meat?'" Book 3-The Boiling Rock, Part 2
67. "(Sokka) 'Get in. We're going to save your boyfriend.' (Katara) 'He's not my--' (Sokka, interrupting) 'Whatever!'" Book 1-The Avatar Returns
68. "(Piandao) 'You messed things up in a very special way...'" Book 3-Sokka's Master
69. "(Sokka) 'Normally my fishing skills are OFF THE HOOK! Get it? Like a fishing hook?' (Silence) (Toph) 'Too bad your skills aren't on the hook.'" Book 3-The Painted Lady
70. "(Aang, in hysterics, to Sokka) 'In one of my dreams, you were running from Fire Nation soldiers, climbing this cliff! But you were too slow and they got you!'" Book 3-Nightmares and Daydreams
71. "(Aang, shouting) 'DON'T DRINK THAT!' (Toph, spit-taking all over Katara) 'Why?! Is it poisoned?' (Aang) 'In my dream, we were right in the middle of the invasion, and you had to stop to use the bathroom! We died because of your tiny bladder!'" Book 3-Nightmares and Daydreams
72. "(Salesman) 'Flaming fire flakes. Best in town!' (Sokka) 'I'll take 'em!' (stuffing his face) 'AAAHHH! OOHHH! HOT! HOT!' (Katara, crossing her arms) 'Flaming fire flakes. Hot. What'd you know?'" Book 1-The Deserter
73. "(Sokka, irritably, after Toph bumps into him) 'Can't you watch where you're...' (Toph, interrupting in a 'duh' tone) 'No.' (Sokka) 'Oh, right. Sorry.'" Book 2-The Desert
74. "(Sokka, to FufuCuddlyPoops) 'You're awfully cute, but unfortunately for you, you're made of meat.'" Book 2-Bitter Work
75. "(Sokka) 'Toph, I guess you should just come with me.' (Toph, indignant) 'Why? Because you think I can't put up posters on my own?' (grabs a posters, swipes glue on the wall, and slams it down) (Toph, after a moment, dejectedly) 'It's upside down...isn't it.'" Book 2-Lake Laogai
76. "(Sokka) 'Come on, a day at the theatre? This is the type of wacky, time-wasting nonsense I've been missing!'" Book 3-The Ember Island Players
77. "(Aang) 'You know, Zuko, I don't care what everyone else says about you...you're pretty smart.' (Zuko smiles, then, realizing exactly what Aang said, frowns, as if to say, 'they say what about me?')" Book 3-The Firebending Masters
78. "(Sokka, indignantly to Momo) 'Hey! I worked hard to get those nuts!' (dejectedly) 'Yeah, I hate them too.'" Book 1-Imprisoned
79. "(Toph) 'Er…what about me?' (Sokka) 'For now, you’re the Melon Lord’s forces.' (Toph) 'So I get to chuck flaming rocks at all of you?' (Sokka) 'Whatever makes the training feel more realistic.' (Toph, grinning) 'Sweetness.'" Book 3-The Phoenix King (First Ep. of Sozin's Comet)
80. "(Sokka, shaking a fist) 'Watch it, Toph!' (Toph, enjoying herself) 'I am not Toph, I am Melon Lord! Muahahahahaha!'" Book 3-The Phoenix King-Best Quote EVER!
81. "(Katara) 'I have a surprise for everyone!' (Toph) 'I knew it! You did have a secret thing with Haru!' (everyone stares)" Book 3-The Phoenix King
82. “(Sokka, gesturing pointedly) ’What do you expect us to do, just head west until we reach the Fire Lord’s house? ‘Knock, knock, Fire Lord, any body home?’ I don’t think so! We need some intelligence if we’re going to win this war.’ (Katara) ‘Okay. We’ll finish our vacations and then we’ll look for Sokka’s intelligence.’” Book 2-The Library
83. "(Katara) 'Wait! How do I land this thing? What if I land...(gagging)...eh! Blech! Yuck! ...bug! Bug! That was a bug!'" Book 1-The Northern Air Temple
84. “(Aang) ‘Sokka, I don’t think we should be doing this.’ (Sokka) ‘No, I asked the swamp and it said this was fine. Right swamp? No problem Sokka!’” Book 2-The Swamp
85. “(Bumi) ‘Well, here we are. Welcome to old people camp!’” Book 3-Sozin’s Comet Pt 2: The Old Masters
86. “(Bumi) ‘So what about you guys? Did you do anything interesting on the day of the eclipse?’ (Zuko) ‘Nah.’ (Sokka) ‘No, not really.’” Book 3-Sozin’s Comet Pt 2: The Old Masters
87. “(June, smirking) ‘I see you worked things out with your girlfriend.’ (Katara) ‘I’m not his girlfriend!’ (Zuko) ‘She’s not my girlfriend!’” Book 3-Sozin’s Comet Pt 2: The Old Masters
88. "(Bato) 'Sokka?' (Sokka) 'Bato?!' (Aang, waking up) 'Who the what now?'" Book 1- Bato of the Water Tribe
89. "(Aang) 'Hey, that cloud looks like a fluffy bunny!' (Old Villager) 'You'd better hope that's not a fluffy bunny. The fluffy bunny cloud forecasts death and destruction.' (Sokka) 'Do you even hear yourself?'" Book 1-The Fortuneteller
90. "(Katara) 'Sokka, you're a genius!' (Aang) 'How is Sokka a genius? His plan didn't even work.' (Sokka) 'Come on, Aang! Let her dream.' (Katara, to Aang) 'You're right, Sokka's plan didn't work. But it looks like it did.' (Aang) 'Did the definition of "genius" change in the last hundred years?'" Book 1-The Winter Solstice, Part 2
91. (Toph, to the defeated Ozai) ‘Oh sorry, didn’t mean to offend you, Phoenix King of Getting His Butt Whupped!’ (Suki) ‘Yeah, or how about ‘King of the Guys Who…uh…Don’t Win?’ (Toph) ‘Leave the nicknames to us, honey.’ Book 3-Sozin's Comet, Part 4 (Avatar Aang)
92. "(Katara) 'What happened?' (Sokka) 'Zuko’s gone crazy! I made a sand sculpture of Suki and he destroyed it! (offhandedly, shrugging) Oh, and he’s attacking Aang.'" Book 3-Sozin's Comet, Part 1 (The Phoenix King)
93. "(Zuko) 'We’ve been working in a tea shop all day. I’m sick of tea!' (Iroh) 'Sick of tea? That’s like being sick of breathing!'" Book 2-City of Walls and Secrets
94. "(Aang, during a conversation about manners) 'Yeah, I’m mastering every element. How hard could manners be? (in a sophisticated manner) Good evening, Mr. Sokka Watertribe. Ms. Katara Watertribe. Lord Momo of the Momo Dynasty, Your Momo-ness.'" Book 2-City of Walls and Secrets
95. "(Aang) 'You found us!' (Toph) 'I’d know your little footsteps anywhere, Twinkletoes.'" Book 2-City of Walls and Secrets
96. "(Sokka, sniffing the air)'What smells so good, Bato?' (Bato) 'The sisters in this abbey craft ointments and perfumes.' (Sokka) 'Perfume? Maybe we could dump some on Appa! Because he stinks so much! Am I right?' (Bato, not amused) 'You have your father's wit.'" Book 1-Bato of the Water Tribe
97. "(Katara) 'Bato! It looks like home!' (Sokka) 'Everything's here, even the pelts!' (Aang, a little uncomfortable) 'Yeah, nothing's more comforting than dead animal skins...'" Book 1-Bato of the Water Tribe
98. "(Toph) 'Maybe the moon spirit just turned mean.' (Sokka, furiously) 'The moon spirit is a gentle, loving lady. She rules the sky with compassion and…lunar goodness!'" Book 3-The Puppetmaster
99. "(Warden) 'Get the fugitives and throw them in the Cooler!' (Guard) Uh...they are in a cooler, sir.' (Warden, angrily shouting) 'One that's bolted down and not floating in the water!'" Book 3-The Boiling Rock, Part 1
100! "(Aang) 'I learned there was another way to defeat him and restore balance. I took his bending away.' (Toph, with surprise) 'Wow, who taught you that?' (Aang, matter-of-factly) 'A giant Lion Turtle.' (Toph) 'You have the craziest adventures when you disappear.'" Book 3-Sozin's Comet, Part 4 (Avatar Aang)
101. "(Aang) 'Don't worry, Sokka. Where we're going, you won't need any pants!'" Book 1-The Warriors of Kyoshi
102. "(Wan Shi Tong, to Sokka) '"If you're going to lie to an all-knowing Spirit-Being, you should at least put some effort into it.'" Book 2-The Library Requested by Metella :D
The following two quotes were requested by Aussie-Muggle:
103. "(Azula, after winning a game of beach volleyball) 'Yes! We have defeated you for all time! You will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humilation!' (pause) 'Well, that was fun.'" Book 3-The Beach
104. "(Katara) 'There's a right way to do this. Study, practice and discipline.' (Sokka) 'Or just glow it up and stomp that Fire Lord.'" Book 2-The Avatar State
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Deck of Cards
It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't been heard.
The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.
As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.
Just then an army sergeant came in and said, 'Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?'
The soldier replied, 'I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord.'
The sergeant said, 'Looks to me like you're going to play cards.'
The soldier said, 'No, sir. You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country,
I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards.'
The sergeant asked in disbelief, 'How will you do that?'
'You see the Ace, Sergeant? It reminds me that there is only one God.
The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments
The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.
The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John .
The Five is for the five virgins, there were ten, but only five of them were glorified.
The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.
The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation.
The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives -- the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the Earth.
The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.
The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.
The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell.
The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.
The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.
When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.
There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week - 52 weeks in a year.
The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.
Each suit has thirteen cards -- there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.
So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for.'
Please let this be a reminder and take time to pray for all of our soldiers who are being sent away, putting their lives on the line fighting for US.
Prayer for the Military.
Please keep the wheel rolling. It will only take a few seconds of your time, but it'll be worth it to read on...
Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands.
Bless them and their families.
I ask this in the name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.
When you read this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our servicemen and women all around the world.
There is nothing attached, but this can be very powerful.
Of all the gifts you could give a Soldier, prayer is the very best one.
Do not stop the wheel, please -- just send this on.
"Studies have shown that demanding photo ID is a highly effective method of keeping vampires off airplanes." Ann Coulter, HillaryCare for the Airports
Thus ends my extremely long profile! Have a fantastic day!
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