PeinSaku
Poll: I've got a few new stories in the works. Below, I've listed a brief description of each as well as when you can expect updates and such. I haven't, however, given each story's name because I have an irrational fear that someone will steal one of the story names for their own before I can publish them. Anyways. Which one would you like to see first? Vote Now!
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since: 03-03-08, id: 1515753, Profile Updated: 03-22-13
country: USA
Author has written 28 stories for Naruto, Harry Potter, Higurashi/Umineko series, and Death Note.

3/21/2013 UPDATE: I'm not going to waste my time talking about And The World Stood Still and And Then There Were None after this message. If you haven't found out by now, I'm sure you'll send me a PM about it. They'll be put back up in the (probably far) future after they've been completely redone; you porbably won't recognize eighty percent of what happens when they're uploaded. Simplicity has been updated, and I PROMISE that you won't be waiting so long for the next one. I've got through chapter seventeen planned out in explicit detail, so when I find the time, they'll be written (hopefully fast). At the very least, you can expect much quicker updates when May comes around -- because I'll be out for the summer!

I now have a LiveJournal account that I will try to update every week with info about new chapters and such. You can find the link below.

Also: Take a look at the new poll I've posted about the stories I mentioned in my last update. If you didn't see said update, the poll explains it all. Please vote. :)


NAME: Stephanie

NICKNAMES: Steff, Steph, Steffie, Tiffy, Rogue, Ernie, Poison Ivy, KoolKittyKat, You With The Face, Cousin Itt, Stripe, Tushi-face, Katora, Koura, Kat... Will add more once I've been named yet again. Call me whatever you like! :)

AGE: 18 (As of 7/27/12)

HOME: Tennessee in the United States

JOINT FF ACCOUNT: FEARtheBOREDOM (made with my friend, AIBOUGiRL.)

DEVART ACCOUNT: RoseHathaway

LIVEJOURNAL: KouraAkatora

YOUTUBE: PeinSaku

FACEBOOK: PeinSaku (Tell me you're from FF.Net if you want to add me.)


ABOUT ME:

1: I depise "txt talk" and "Jersey Shores" lingo. Whenever you see something to the effect of "Um, like, no. Not happening. He totally saw her first. So, there." in one of my stories, you can identify this as one of my attempts (note: attempts) at being funny. It usually indicates crack moments, which you'll find I insert a lot. Some of my friends and I talk like that sometimes because we think it's hillarious that people do that — not trying to hurt anyone's feelings; just our opinion. (I also HATE rap music.)

2: Even though I have all this boring crap about myself on here, I don't think any of you really know me. So, this is my sad, sad try at helping you all understand:

My friends and I are the "other guys" at school. We're the group that get on people's nerves because we laugh and yell so loudly about hillarious crap that no one else finds funny. We can practically read one another's minds, and we've all got a good sense of humor — or, at least, I think so. (For example, we find amusement in weaving completely crack-filled stories about how this older-than-dirt science teacher at our school is going to come busting through the ceiling one day in an Iron Man suit and engage in Mortal Kombat with an English teacher, then climb back up to her classroom on the second floor like the creepy old angel-lady from "Legion".) We're the ones that do acctually tackle our friends in flying-rape hugs in the hallway and cafeteria like characters do in crack!-fics. We're like one big family, and most of us don't give a crap about what other people think about us; we typically give each other really rude or weird nicknames (one of my friends is "Whore", and another is "Steven The Future Surgeon"). We make up our own words, we have the times of our lives, we bust our asses laughing about things like Neon Genesis Evangelion Abridged,and we stick together through thick and thin. We just...well, we do whatever the heck we want, no matter how big a fool we make of ourselves. Teachers, except for the occasional few, always seem to like us for some reason, though... Confusing.

3: I'm an 80's kid through and through. All I ever wear is concert t's, old black jeans, and tennis shoes. My pajamas are concert t's that are filled with so many holes that my mom has banned me from wearing them in public and sweatpants stained with paint from when we were painting rooms in the house. I absolute despise the color pink (except on Sakura from "Naruto"...no clue why), dresses, skirts, and make-up. I carry a wallet instead of a purse because purses are freak'n weird, and I have only just recently acquired my driver's license. Sure, I'm old enough to have gotten it years ago, but I'm the person that'll go on pedestrian road rage. (Two points for every person, Five points for every person walking a dog, and Ten points for every person I know and don't like!) Whenever someone drives really slow or does something stupid out on the road, both my mom and I start yelling at them like they can hear us. I don't like talking on the phone; it's just...awkward.

4: I'm not your "OH EM GEE, A NEW SHADE OF NAIL POLISH! EEEEEE!!" kind of spazz. I'm more of the "HOLY HELL ON A BRIGHT YELLOW POGO STICK. I JUST HAD THIS EPIC VISION OF US MAKING IDIOTS OUT OF OURSELVES. LET'S GO GET KICKED OUT OF AN APPLEBEES!" type. All of my friends and I tend to talk very loudly when we get excited, and when we do... Well, we go all-out.

5: Whenever I'm writing an author's note and I suddenly change subjects, it's because my mind has decided to go all "OH MY SWEET LEMON-FLAVORED CHICKEN ON A STICK. IDEA! IDEA!" That's my psycho spazz-ness rearing its ugly head. I don't have a short attention span; I just have a short "I'm interested in this current subject because it's not boring even though it really is" span. Yeah. Anyways.

I... Well... Yes. I hope you all have a better grip on my mind-set (or lack thereof, as I've also been told). So. Questions? 8D


FAVORITE ANIME/MANGA: Naruto, Soul Eater, Blue Exorcist, Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion, Full Metal Alchemist, Bleach, 1/2 Prince, Black Bird, Kimi ni Todoke, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Reimei no Arcana, Alice in the Country of Hearts/Clover/Joker, Black Butler, Barajou no Kiss, Hana to Akuma, Akagami no Shirayukihime, Ouran High School Host Club, Hapi Mari, Black Blood Brothers, Vampire Knight, Tsubasa Chronicles, S.L.H. - Stray Love Hearts!, Death Note, InuYasha, Rurouni Kenshin, Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni, Elfen Lied, Black Cat, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Poke'mon, SonicX, and Code Lyoko. (Are those last two even anime? I don't think so.)

FAVORITE OTHER MEDIA: The Harry Potter series, the Resident Evil series, The Matrix series, the Lord of The Rings series, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass, the Halloween series, Scooby-Doo!, Courage the Cowardly Dog, the Terminator series, Doom, Halo, Sypro the Dragon, The Legend of Zelda, the Star Wars series, Star Trek, Doctor Who, The Big Bang Theory, The Mentalist, True Blood, Dexter, the James Bond series, the Ace Ventura series, the X-Men series, Dark Shadows, The X-Files, the Alien series, the Predator series, the Die Hard series, and basically any type of rock/metal/alternative music. And Japanese music.


STORY PICTURES:

And The World Stood Still/And Then There Were None Pics:

And The World Stood Still - by forever-gone

Seibutsu - by me

Simplicity Pics:

Sakura Bell Test Outfit - by me

Sakura, Sasori, and "Seigi" - by me

Shizuku Oite Hana Pics:

Sakura and Yahiko - by me

Sakura - by me

Fifteen Is A Good Age For Having Kids, You Know Pics:

Formal Sakura - by me

My horrible drawings of Sakura's fake family, created before her parents were finally revealed:

Haruno Satori (older brother)

Kikara Kirame and Haruno Shukake (mother and father)


FAVORITE QUOTE OF ALL TIME:

“THAT is what you stepped it, THAT'S what was on your shoe, and THAT explains the abrasion on your palm! Let me run that back for you: mlap ruoy no noisarba eht snialpxe taht dna, eohs ruoy no saw tahw s’taht, ti deppets uoy tahw si taht! THAT is what you stepped it, THAT’S what was on your shoe, and THAT explains the abrasion on your palm! DAMN, I’M GOOD!! Can you feel that?! Huh?! Can you feel that Captain Compost?!” – Ace Ventura from Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls

FAVORITE OTHER QUOTES:

"Look how much done I have this thing." -me (Trying to say, "Hey, look how much of this thing I've done today!")

"Then he started throwing up, and it was awesome!" -my amazing friend Courtney

"I promised not to tell, but my fingers were crossed, so I'm wide open." -Dr. House from "House M.D."

Guy Behind the Counter: "I need to see your faculty identification card."
Horvath: -waves magic staff- "You don't need to see my faculty identification card."
Guy Behind the Counter: -hypnotized- "I don't need to see your faculty identification card."
Drake: "These are not the droids you are looking for." -from "The Sorcerer's Apprentice"

"I gotta jar of dirt! I gotta jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it!" -Jack Sparrow from Pirates 2

"Oh. Not good." -Jack Sparrow from Pirates

"You're mad!"
"Good thing, 'cause if I wasn't, this would probably never work." -Lord Becket and Jack Sparrow from Pirates 3

"How soon can we set off?"
-ship falls apart- "Do think he plans it all out, or just makes it up as he goes along?" -Lord Becket and random crewman from Pirates 3

"You are not my captian!"-to Elizabeth-
"Who among you do you call 'captain'?"
-points at Elizabeth-"Captain!" -random Singapore crewman and Davy Jones from Pirates 3

"How's Mum?"
-holds up a shruken head-
"...sh-she looks great..." -Jack Sparrow from Pirates 3

"You haven't raised an alarm."
"I know. Strange, isn't it? But not as strange as this."
"I said to myself, 'think like Jack'."
"And this is what you came up with? Leave a trail for Becket to follow and betray all the pirates? It's like you don't know me at all, mate." -Wil Turner and Jack Sparrow from Pirates 3

"James Norrigton, do you fear death?" -gets stabbed- "I take that as a 'no'." -Davy Jones from Pirates 3

"Do you fear death?"
"You have no idea..." -Davy Jones and Jack Sparrow from Pirates 3

"I once sailed with a geezer. Lost both of his arms and part of his eye."
"What did you call him?"
"...Larry." -Jack Sparrow and Gibbs from Pirates 3

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon." -Hermione from Harry Potter/Order of the Phenox

-POW!- "I needed that." -POW!- "I needed that, too." -POW!- "You're pushing your luck, Scoob!" -Shaggy from Scooby Doo 2

"I saw him through the window and he was wearing butt-inspection gloves." -Alex from Home Alone 3

"Dog?! Where?!" -Scooby-Doo from Scooby-Doo/Zombie Island

"I'm really starting to hate you, Kenji. You've been trying to kill us since the start of this damn movie." -Carter from Rush Hour 3 (blooper)

"I'm Juan Toa's brother! I'm Blackinese!" -Carter from Rush Hour

"I don't know what the hell you're feeding him, but he is too damn big!" -Carter from Rush Hour 3

"This is Madness!"
"This is polotics." -Elizabeth Swan and Jack Sparrow from Pirates 3

"I'm looking for a man named Ace Ventura." "We do not go by names here." "Erm, he's American." "We do not descriminate by such titles." "He likes to talk through his rear." "...oh. Him." -Greenwall and a monk from Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls

"I hate mummies! They never play fair!" -Johnathon from The Mummy Tomb/dragon Emporer

"A brief shinning moment, and then that mouth." -Victor from Miss Congeniality

"Eyebrows; there should be two." -Victor from Miss Congeniality

"If you screw with me, I'll screw you right back!" -Mia from Vampire Academy

"I'm no ordinary pervert! I'm a MEGA PERV!" -Jiraiya from Naruto episode 54

"And if anyone--ANYONE--tried to hurt one of my new friends, I would take them out. I would make them suffer so much, they'd wish they were never born. And if they tried to run, I would hunt them down." -Gracie Heart from Miss Congeniality

"I'm sorry. What was the question? I was too distarcted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your big trap." -Victor from Miss Congeniality

"With all this foil in my hair, I'm getting HBO." -Gracie Heart from Miss Congeniality

"What? No armored car?"
"That would be in my other dress." -Victor and Gracie Heart from Miss Congeniality

"I'm sorry, whoever you are, but this line is reserved for emergency calls only."
"No fucking shit, lady! Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza, here?!" -random police woman and John Maclain from Die Hard

"Damn Hamster! Stay still, Spiderboy!" -John Maclain from Live Free or Die Hard

"Wow...I know that tone, it's just weird hearing it from someone with...hair." -Mattew from Live Free or Die Hard

"Asshole?! I'm not the one that just got butt-fucked on national television, Dwayne!" -John Maclain from Die Hard

"I know where you live. If you're not well on your way to becoming a vet in the next six months, I'll kill you." -Tyler from Fight Club

"Yeah yeah, I got it! No wait, I lost it." -Tyler from Fight Club

"Pardon my French, but Camron is so tight that if you stuck a piece of coal up his ass, in a few weeks you would have a diamond." -Ferris Bueller from Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"Rescue her? How many of you are here? Seven? Maybe eight?"
"Five humans and a cat." -Ikkaku and Ichigo from Bleach

"A cute girl stopped me on the way, so I danced." -Kakashi Hatake from Naruto

"Under my mask is...another mask! Pretty cool, huh?" -Kakashi Hatake from Naruto

“Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking.” -anonymous

“If you laugh, I will laugh. If you cry, I will cry and if you jump out of the window, I will laugh.” -anonymous

“I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.” -anonymous

"Thanks. Now that you've endorsed me and my family, I can finally get on with my life. It's the only thing that's been holding me back." -Christian Ozera from Shadow Kiss

"Jerks. Oh, hey. Doughnuts." -Rose Hathaway from Shadow Kiss

"I've hardly seen you at all since we got back. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were avoiding me."
"I am avoiding you." -Adrian Ivashkov and Rose Hathaway from Shadow Kiss

"I could tell you stories about your father that would curl even your greasy hair, boy!" -Mad-Eye Moody from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

"Follow the spiders? Follow the spiders?! If Hadgrid ever gets out of Azkaban, I'll kill him!" -Ron Weasley from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

"What's he doing?!"
"I think he's singing..."
"Yeah, I once heard an animal make that sound, but when they rolled him over he was dead." -three of the Amigoes from Happy Feet

"In case you haven't been keeping up on current events, we just got our asses kicked, pal!!" -Hudson from Aliens

"What do you mean they turned off the power?! How could they turn off the power?! They're animals!" -Hudson from Aliens

"Is he dead?"
"That's the problem. He was already dead to begin with." -kid and Ichabod from Sleepy Hollow

"I'm giving you a choice. Now put on the glasses or start eating that trash can." -Nada from They Live

"I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum...And I'm all out of bubblegum." -Nada from They Live

"Darlene, what do you mean you don't take bubble baths?"
"It makes my pooter sting worse than a swarm of bees." - Candi and Darlene from Waking Up In Reno

FAVORITE CONVERSATIONS:

Me: -holds out a turkey sandwhich with bagel slices instead of buns- "Hey, Austin, smell this."
Austin: -does so without question because he's used to all the weird crap we do- "What about it?"
Me: "Dude, this thing tastes like grape Kool-aid."
Austin: "What, seriously?"
Me: "Yeah" -gives it to him-
Austin: -takes a bite- "Holy shit, it does."
Me: "Somehow, I don't think a turkey bagel is supposed to smell and taste like grape Kool-aid. I don't even have grape Kool-aid in my house!"
Austin: "Maybe your mom's trying to poison you."
Me: "Yeah, probably."
(Because of this, we now have an inside joke: "So, have you sniffed the bagel lately?" and people stare at us 'cause it sounds like we're talking about drugs. XD)

Kirby: "Um, Miss Freeman, what if we were to - hypothetically, of course - uh, not do the work?"
Miss Freeman (English teacher): -glaring- "Do the work, or I'll move these desks apart, and it'll be WWE Smackdown in here."

Miss Freeman: "Alright, guys; good news: you've got an in-class essay today."
(Insert groaning.)
Kirby: "Come on, Miss Free-Free! Do we have to?"
Miss Freeman: "Yes, you have to."
Kirby: "But Miss Freemaaaan-"
Miss Freeman: "Guys, look: you are doing this essay whether you like it or not. I don't do this on purpose, you know. I don't wake up in the morning and think, 'I'm gonna ruin Kirby's day today' - and, frankly, is it too cold for me to be riding my broomstick to school."

"How could you do this to us, Emmy?!" "It's all your fault!" "You're so mean!" "I can't believe you, Emmy!" "I'm gonna go kill myself now, and it's all because of YOU!" "WHAAAA!! -crying-" "Emmy, why are you so cruel?!" "WHY, GOD, WHYYYYY?!" "Hey, Emmy!!" "Guess what, Emmy!" "I like that movie, too!" "I know, right?!" "The one with that one guy that does that one thing at that one place!!" "Seriously!!" "Emmy's amazing horse tastes just like raisons!" "Give it a lick --MM! Tastes just like raisons!" "Seventy-four!" "I know, right?!" "God, Emmy! You're so mean!" -Me and my friend Billy screwing around in Algebra II class and scaring our friend Emily :3

Me: "You know what the difference is between English and American?"
Matt: "There's not a difference; they're both English."
Me: "No they're not. In English if someone says 'Excuse me. I need to get through' it translates to 'Get the fuck out of the way!' in American."
Matt: "...Wow, you're right."

Me: "What are you gonna use for your quote in senior year?"
Austin: "Mm, I'm thinking maybe: 'You look like you were beaten with an ugly stick by a very hairy man'."
Me: "...I like it."

Me: "What did you write in my yearbook?"
Austin: "Read it and find out."
Me: "Alrighty. Let's see: 'I hate children and plan on beating them with an ugly stick in racoon form when babysitting' ..."
Austin: "Well?"
Me: "...niiiiice."

Me: "Wanna sign my yearbook?"
Spencer: "Yeah, sure." -signs it-
Andrew: "What'd he write?"
Me: "Hm, let me see... 'Thanks for the geometry help' ..."

Me: "Hey, Matthew, sign my yearbook!"
Matt: "Okay." -signs it-
Me: "Hey, uh, Matt; what's this say?"
Matt: "Oh, I marked out my last name and rewrote it."
Me: "...why?"
Matt: "...I kind of mispelled it."
Me: -points- "HAHAHA!!"

Racheal: "Hey, Steph, I wanna sign your yearbook!"
Me: "Alright." -gives it to her, she signs it- "Let's see... 'Dear Stephanie! You are one of my awesomest book buddies! If you ever need to borrow a book from me, I'm your girl! Anyone, I wanted to inform you that I am the first to sign your crack! XD Love! Racheal' Aw, thanks, Racheal!"
Racheal: "You're welcome!"
Me: "Just one thing, though."
Racheal: "What?"
Me: "You said 'anyone' instead of 'anyway'."
Racheal: "...shit. Just ignore it."

Matt: "Hey, Steph. We're learning about polyhydrants in geometry, but I don't get any of it. Can you, uh, help please?"
Me: "Polyhydrants? Don't you mean polyhedrons?"
Matt: "That's what I said; Pathagoreans."

Billy: "Hey, Coach G; I was on the computer last night and--"
Coach G (Mythology teacher): "Were you looking up porn?"

Grandpa: "Girls, go out and start picking rocks out of the yard. You can put 'em in these buckets" -gives them buckets- "Then you can dump them by the creek."
My aunt when she was younger, standing with my mom and my other aunt: "Ah, come on, Dad; we wanna go over to (insert whatever her name was)'s!"
Grandpa: "You damn girls think Manual Labor is the dictator of Mexico! Get to work!"

Mom: "Steph, go get the keys from your dad. It's too hot out here."
Me: -walks over to my dad- "Mom wants the car keys 'cause it's too hot outside. You're taking too long looking at all the plants."
Dad: "She's got her own keys."
Me: "They're in the car."
Dad: "That's too bad. I'll be over there soon."
Me: -walks back to my mom- "Mom, Dad's being a jerk again and he won't get me the keys."
Mom: "Mark, give us the keys!"
Dad: "You'll get them in a minute!"
Mom: "First you won't give me a pool, and now you won't give me the car keys! You're being a jerk!"
Dad: "Jerk? I'm not a jerk, you liar."
Mom: "No, you're the liar; you promised me the pool!"
Dad: "I did not!"
Mom: "You did too!"
Dad: "No I didn't!"
Mom: "Just give me the damn keys!"

Me: "Emmy, your face is red."
Emily: "It is?"
Me: "Yeah."
Emily: "Really? I can't see it."

Me: "What are they doing?"
Emily: "Upgrading the software on their graphing calculators."
Me: "Man, I want my software upgraded."
Billy: "Hey, baby -- I'll stick my flash drive in your port."
Me: "Unidentified device detected."
Billy: "Rape?"

Billy: "Where are you planning on going to college?"
Me: "Well, I got a letter from Yale, so I'm hoping that I qualify for Vanderbilt."
Billy: "Vanderbilt? Heh, I wish I was smart enough to go there. I'm just a potato sliding along a trail of melted butter."

(After having a long conversation about some poorly-written story in which a character is masturbating like a mad-man and there is much creepy child-porno)
Courtney: "And then he was all like, 'GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BEDROOM'."
Me: "HOLY SHIT, MAN, THAT'S HILLARIOUS."
Our Bus Driver: "Girls, keep it clean."


See which Akatsuki member you are the most like

Pein
[X] -I am the leader/boss of a group, club, friends, etc.
[ ] -I have a piercing(s).
[ ] - My natural hair colour is red, ginger or auburn.
[ ] -My eyes are gray.
[ ] -My closest friend is a girl.
[X] - I'm a very secretive person.
[X] - I like it when it rains.

[Pein Score: 3]

Konan
[X] - Most of my friends are guys.
[X] - Origami RULES!
[ ] - I know how to make at least 5 different origami objects.
[ ] - I love flowers!
[X] - My closest friend is a guy.
[X] - I don't like having my photo taken.
[ ] - I don't like water. Swimming etc.

[Konan Score: 4]

Itachi Uchiha
[ ] - My younger sibling(s) bother(s) me a lot.
[ ] - Many people find me attractive.
[X] - I'm quiet and very mature for my age.
] - I don't actually like fighting though I can fight.
[X] - I don't care what you think, Kisame is cool.
[X] - I'm the top of my class. Intelligence.
[ ] - My natural hair colour is black.

[Itachi Uchiha Score: 3]

Kisame Hoshigaki
[X] - Sharks are AWESOME!
[X] - I like gore :3
[X] - I dislike my own appearance. I'm ugly! :(
[X] - Underwater in the ocean is a beautiful scenery.
[X] - Once someone gets to know me, I'm a pretty nice person.
[X] - I'm the tallest of my friends who are the same gender.
[X] - I like water sports.

[Kisame Hoshigaki Score: 7]

Sasori
[X] - I look young for my age.
[X] - Puppets are fascinating...
[X] - I'm very impatient.
[ ] - I hate that bitch, Sakura Haruno.
[ ] - My Grandma annoys me.
[ ] - I'm the smallest of my friends.
[X] - Loud noises/people annoy me.

[Sasori Score: 4]

Deidara
[X] - I'm an artist.
[X] - I like and appreciate art.
[ ] - My natural hair colour is blonde/dirty blonde.
[X] - I have blue eyes.
[X]- I'm the youngest in my group of friends.
[ ] - I hate Tobi.
[X]- I have a friend who hangs around and annoys me.

[Deidara Score: 5]

Kakuzu
[X] - I'm a saver, not a spender.
[ ] - My eyes are either green or hazel.
[ ] - I have had stitches.
[ ] - I hate Hidan.
[X] - Younger people (or children) tend to tick me off.
[ ] - I am the oldest in my group of friends.
[ ] - My skin is dark or tanned.

[Kakuzu Score: 2]

Hidan
[X] - I have a cussing/swearing problem.
[ ] - I hate Kakuzu.
[X] - I hate so many people and hate them so much, that I probably have my own hit-list.
[ ] - I am religious.
[X] - I am very strong-willed.
[ ] - I have cut myself on purpose before.
[X] - I'm very prone to accidents.

[Hidan Score: 4]

Zetsu
[ ] - I have a split personality. Two sides.
[X] - Nature is AWESOME!
[X] - I'm usually alone.
[X] - I don't mind the company of others.
[X] - I don't have many friends.
[X] - Tobi is not that bad.
[X] - I WON'T eat the veggies! Meat all the way, man!

[Zetsu Score: 6]

Tobi
[ ] - I'm always hyperactive.
[ ] - I have a particular person who I like to pester.
[ ] - People often mistake me for someone else or say I look like someone.
[ ] - I LOVE the colour orange.
[ ] - I'm rarely sad and always optimistic.
[X] - TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! :D

[Tobi Score: 1]

Orochimaru
[ ] - I'm attracted to younger people.
[X] - I have a very pale skin colour.
[X] - Snakes are AWESOME!
[ ] - I love/like Sasuke Uchiha.
[X] - Micheal Jackson is AWESOME!
[X] - I'm very motivated, nothing will stop me from reaching my goals.
[X] - People think I'm twisted or insane.

[Orochimaru Score: 5]


1. Simplicity » reviews
She is the girl that has no heart, and he is the man that unknowingly stole it. "You will become my tool. You will fight for me, aid me when I call upon you. And in exchange, I will ensure that you become the most widely-revered kunoichi of your time."
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 81,545 - Reviews: 565 - Updated: 3-16-13 - Published: 2-15-11 - Sakura H. & Sasori
2. Operation: E D U C A T I O N reviews
"What in God's name does this have to do with a dancing panda?" "Really?" Sasuke deadpanned, scarily serious, in a tone that said Madara should be fearing for his life. "If you have to ask, then you clearly don't know what you're getting yourself into." — AU. Crack!fic. Language Warning. Sequel to "Operation: F U N."
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,741 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 1-11-13 - Sakura H. & Madara U. - Complete
3. My Life As A Clinically Insane Pink Haired Girl reviews
My mom got called away on some kind of business trip yesterday, so Nagato and I have to stay home alone for a couple of weeks. And since he just can't stand the thought of leaving me to my own devices, Jerk-face over here decided that he's gonna drag me along to his stupid little group meeting. Kill me now. — AU. Crack-ish. Language Warning.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,197 - Reviews: 50 - Published: 6-3-12 - Sakura H. & Pain/Pein - Complete
4. Team Thirteen reviews
Sequel to Letters to Sasuke. He was an Uchiha, dang it. Just because he didn't pass his Chunin Exams before leaving the village DID NOT MAKE HIM A GENIN AT AGE TWENTY-FOUR WHEN HE FINALLY RETURNED TO SAID VILLAGE. GOD. Crack!-fic.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,791 - Reviews: 55 - Published: 3-15-11 - Sasuke U. & Sakura H. - Complete
5. Just Because » reviews
Because he is Itachi, she is Sakura, and that's the way things work. Series of one-shots. Sequel to Harry Potter and the Red Dawn Guardians.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,532 - Reviews: 110 - Updated: 2-14-11 - Published: 1-27-11 - Sakura H. & Itachi U. - Complete
6. 花弁の雨滴 Shizuku Oite Hana » reviews
After Yahiko quite literally runs into the girl of his dreams, he comes to discover that she's the new transfer student joining his class. What could get better? Now, if only he could stop making a fool of himself in front of her... AU.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 36,708 - Reviews: 252 - Updated: 2-13-11 - Published: 3-4-09 - Sakura H. & Yahiko - Complete
7. Worlds Apart, Yet So Close » reviews
In which Sakura is introduced to a world the likes of which none of them have ever seen. She'll have to befriend an infamous detective in order to capture the mass-murderer that kills people via heart attacks — but, in the end, will she survive it?
Crossover - Naruto & Death Note - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 70,876 - Reviews: 682 - Updated: 2-1-11 - Published: 5-16-09 - Sakura H. & L - Complete
8. Harry Potter and the Red Dawn Guardians » reviews
Who ever knew that protecting some kid with glasses and a lightning bolt scar from Orochimaru and another snake-affiliated freak would be so hard? Throw in the unwanted attention of a certain Uchiha, and you've got yourself a recipe for disaster. Akatsuki no Sakura. ItaSaku. Prequel to Just Because.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 65,538 - Reviews: 633 - Updated: 1-27-11 - Published: 3-8-09 - Sakura H. & Itachi U. - Complete
9. Operation: F U N reviews
The man fell like a brick, twitching and groaning in a heap on the ground. Madara frowned, putting away the Nerf gun he'd been holding to his back. "I don't think he is unconscious." Sakura bashed the man upside the head with her frying pan. "Now he is." — AU. Crack!fic. Language Warning. Prequel to "Operation: E D U C A T I O N."
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,395 - Reviews: 60 - Published: 1-26-11 - Sakura H. & Neji H. - Complete
10. The Extra Letter reviews
Orochimaru was rereading the message scribbled on the inside of the sealing scroll for the thousandth time when he noticed: Oh, hey. Another letter. Side story to Letters To Sasuke. CRACK!-FIC
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,316 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 1-7-11 - Sasuke U. - Complete
11. Letters to Sasuke » reviews
"So, here's my plan, Uchiha: You read all of these letters and realize what an idiot you were for leaving the village. You ask to be reinstated, I grant your request, and I kick your scrawny tail for all the trouble you've caused. Everyone lives happily ever after. The end. I expect your answer soon, and I expect it to be satisfactory. OR ELSE." Signed, Tsunade. — Crack!fic.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 23 - Words: 12,098 - Reviews: 466 - Updated: 1-6-11 - Published: 12-28-10 - Sasuke U. - Complete
12. Five Glances reviews
When you fall for someone, it happens in the most unexpected ways. Sometimes you run smack into the person you eventually come to love. And sometimes, if your name is Sabaku no Gaara, you fall for a girl by attempting to crush the life from her body.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,409 - Reviews: 49 - Published: 1-6-11 - Sakura H. & Gaara - Complete
13. Higurashi ga Naku Akazu no Mori e reviews
Whispers of midnight beyond the eyes of memories tell of thoughts that weep and a silence that speaks where the voices of shadows in blood do lie, and the forest in which the cicadas cry.
Higurashi/Umineko series - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 226 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 10-20-10 - Complete
14. What Not To Do On A Mission reviews
Hello, my fellow shinobi. If you are reading this, then you must be preparing to embark upon your first mission. These simple guidelines were created to ensure the safety of your charge, your teammates, and yourself, so please do your best to follow them. Take, for example, Rule No. 26: If your teammate says "duck", he or she does not mean that a duck is passing by.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,436 - Reviews: 39 - Published: 6-11-10 - Complete
15. Curiosity Killed the Cat reviews
Imagine her surprise when Sakura came to find her clothes missing and a very self-satisfied Uchiha Itachi standing at the only exit of the girls' locker room. — AU. Crack-ish. Language Warning.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,792 - Reviews: 92 - Published: 2-5-10 - Sakura H. & Itachi U. - Complete
16. Seventeen Is The Best Age For Engagement, You Know reviews
New Year's with the Uchiha's couldn't be so bad, right? Right? "Mother, you're choking her." Scratch that. It was going to be a nightmare. Sequel to "Fifteen Is A Good Age For Having Kids, You Know." — AU. Crack-ish.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,404 - Reviews: 35 - Published: 1-1-10 - Sakura H. & Itachi U. - Complete
17. Never Again reviews
"Are you alright?" he asked softly, brushing the bandage on Mom's face. She didn't meet his eyes, and I suppressed a shiver. We all three left the hospital with a seemingly-calm exterior, but when we returned home, my father was yelling and beating again. — AU. PeinSaku
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,190 - Reviews: 24 - Published: 11-30-09 - Sakura H. & Pain/Pein - Complete
18. Girlfriend For A Day » reviews
So, I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when suddenly the famous teenage moive star Uchiha Sasuke latched onto my arm and claimed to be my boyfriend to escape from his psychotic fangirls and camera stalkers. Seriously, karma? Overkill? — AU. Crack-ish. Language Warning.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 17,821 - Reviews: 122 - Updated: 10-26-09 - Published: 7-23-09 - Sakura H. & Sasuke U. - Complete
19. His Hair Was Blond, His Eyes Were Blue reviews
His hair was blond; His eyes were blue. My first grade heart pounded, And instantly I knew.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 216 - Reviews: 26 - Published: 9-29-09 - Hinata H. & Naruto U. - Complete
20. Unexpected reviews
Haruno Sakura was determined to make the ungrateful jerk thank her for healing him after his stupid ritual this time. But his definition of thanking was a little...OFF... Akatsuki no Sakura. — Crack!fic. Language Warning.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,974 - Reviews: 34 - Published: 7-22-09 - Sakura H. & Hidan - Complete
21. Fifteen Is A Good Age For Having Kids, You Know reviews
"So, Sakura-chan!" she chirped. "When can I be expecting grandchildren?" I choked on my food. Dear Lord, what is WRONG with this woman? — Sequel to "Eighteen Is The Legal Age For Marriage, You Know." Prequel to "Seventeen Is The Best Age For Engagement, You Know." — AU. Crack-ish.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,881 - Reviews: 38 - Published: 6-18-09 - Sakura H. & Itachi U. - Complete
22. Eighteen Is The Legal Age For Marriage, You Know reviews
"Also," his father continued, raising a bit of curiosity in Itachi, "if you're going to take over my position in a few years, you'll need to find a suitable wife." Across the table, Sasuke choked on his breakfast. Mikoto squealed. "Yes! I can't wait to be a grandmother!" — AU. Crack-ish. Prequel to "Fifteen Is A Good Age For Having Kids, You Know."
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,918 - Reviews: 60 - Published: 6-9-09 - Sakura H. & Itachi U. - Complete
23. Over and Over reviews
"Hey, Sasuke!" I called before I could stop myself. He glanced over his shoulder at me. "Do you want to get some ramen with me and Naruto?" "No." I knew he'd say that. Even after all these years, he still hated me.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 869 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 5-25-09 - Sakura H. & Sasuke U. - Complete
24. What the Heart Wants reviews
Sakura was always neck-and-neck with Near during exams, sometimes even surpassing him. If Mello's calculations were correct, she had been first 26 times since she arrived, while Near was at 24. But why did he care? He was just the stupid third-place kid.
Crossover - Naruto & Death Note - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,974 - Reviews: 22 - Published: 5-21-09 - Sakura H. & Mello - Complete
25. Green M&M's reviews
When she saw the e-mail was from Ino, she should have deleted it. But, of course, being the curious little person she was, Sakura had opened it. She couldn't help it; she just had to know. — AU. Crack!fic
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 980 - Reviews: 25 - Published: 5-18-09 - Sakura H. & Pain/Pein - Complete
26. Just to Get High reviews
I stared in shock at the scene. My best friend — my only friend — was slumped against a dirty brick wall in an alley. There was just enough light from the bright full moon to reveal it to me. Something in the pit of my stomach told me exactly what was going on. — AU. Language Warning.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,341 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 4-1-09 - Sakura H. & Hidan - Complete
27. A Nightmare on Leaf Street reviews
After a series of strange events that Sakura would rather not know about, the Akatsuki have somehow come to be Konoha's tentative allies, and they are in need of a place to stay. Who better to push them on than Tsunade's trusted apprentice? — Crack. Language Warning.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,237 - Reviews: 35 - Published: 3-2-09 - Sakura H. & Akatsuki - Complete
28. 100 Ways To Get Killed By The Akatsuki reviews
The Akatsuki. With just those two words, an entire village could be brought to its knees, quivering and crying for mercy. Despite this, a dark secret hovered above these men - and woman. This motley crew was actually composed of...imbeciles. Crack!-fic.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,221 - Reviews: 117 - Published: 3-1-09 - Akatsuki - Complete
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