TheCookieAlchemist is my bestest friend ever!! :D You are amazingness, and yes; you better find that bomb shelter that's under your couch in the ocean. OwO RWAR! Watch out, 'cause muther-effin Steph-Zilla is on the loose!!
I am a beta for both Miranda-chan and FDS-Sasuke-fangirl-Lawliet! You should check out their stories, because they kick ass! ;D And for now, since my friend DementedAnarchist (formerly CursedSpartan) doesn't have internet access, I'll be uploading his stuff. He's new to FanFiction and writing, so please don't be mean. UPDATE: Apparently, his internet is working now, so he's posting them on his own. You should read his stories! They're hillarious! 8D

And I'll soon be making a joint-account with mi amigo, WinterRave (formerly, RecurringSoul and SatsujinAkuma).

Dear Courtney,
JUST WAIT 'TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!! THEN WE'LL SEE WHO'S LAUGHING!!

This is my profile (nooo. of course not...) so here's some stuff about me:

NAME: Stephanie L.

SPANISH NAME: Sonia-Rosa (for Honors Spanish class)

WARRIORS NAME: Splashfalls (blue-silver she-cat with blue eyes)

JAPANESE NAME: (because I felt like it) Koura Akatora (writen like in English)

AGE: 15! (16 on July 27, 2010)

HOME: Tennessee in the United States (that's all you're getting)

MY DEVART ACCOUNTS: http://shad-amy.deviantart.com/ and http://rosehathaway.deviantart.com/

RUNESCAPE: Kouraakatora

DRAGCAVE: KouraAkatora

My hair looks like Rogue's off of X-men (Long straight brown hair with blond bangs framing my face) and I have blue eyes. If you want a picture... http://shad-amy.deviantart.com/art/My-ID-111078491

I've got a Naruto comic on my second DevArt account called Aka Hana. :D

Everyone, please look at my dragon eggs!! If you don't they will die!! They must have a certain amount of clicks to stay alive before they hatch!! PLEASE!!

http://dragcave.net/user/KouraAkatora

http://dragcave.net/view/jBeH

http://dragcave.net/view/CKXi

http://dragcave.net/view/kdbu

http://dragcave.net/view/Knao

This is where I will always post my current news.

October 19: Geez. I haven't posted here for a while, huh? TTwTT ATWSS is coming along just as I planned! I'm so happy! 8D I hope my readers enjoy it! I'll soon be making a joint-account with WinterRave, but never fear! I'll never abandon this account! OwO Yahiko, Nagato, and Konan have finally appeared in the anime!! YES!! MY LIFE'S DREAM!! (sort of). I hate Konan, though...anyone want to kill her for me? 8D Sorry to Konan fans! Anyway...I dunno. Screw this. I'm hungry. Buh-bye! -waves-

September 30: Ohayou!! I finally posted The Lady Massacre's one-shot! It's called My Life as a Clinically Insane Pink Haired Girl. Kind of a long title... Anyways. ATWSS is heating up, as all my faithful readers can see. TTwTT I'm sorry it's been taking so long, but the romance is finally about to come! I'm sorry if I scared you away from my story!

September 14: Wow, it has been a LONG time since I updated this thing. MY BAD! ' Yeah, anyways... I've updated a LOT on ATWSS, so I hope that's keeping you all happy! 8D I'm really sorry about the long wait on all the others; I'm trying to finish this one soon. (It'll take a while, though, 'cause trust me: it ain't even close to being done.) I want to apologize to The Lady Massacre! I know I promised you a one-shot, and I've been working on it! School's just kind of getting in the way...Anyways! It'll be done, soon, so be on the look out. I still dunno what I'll call it...

July 27: TODAY IS MY FIFTEENTH BIRTHDAY!! TTwTT I'm so happy...

July 26: OH MY GOD!! GUES WHAT EVERYBODY?! THE KAKASHI CHRONICLES IS BEING MADE!! The episodes about little Kakashi, Obito, and Rin are being released August 6!! I CAN'T WAIT!! XDD

In further news...

Tomorrow is my birthday! Yay! X3 And the day after tomorrow is my dad's birthday. (Strangely enough). That's also the day I have to do the registration crap for my sophomore year. TT.TT

July 16: What up, people? :) My summer's awesome so far, but I have to go back to school early because we're switching to a year-around school. TT.TT NOOO!! IT'S NOT FAIR!! Anyways, the next chapter of ATWSS is about to be out; I've really made that story explode, haven't I? -sweatdrops- Also, there's now a pic for Sakura's dress in Fifteen Is A Good Age For Having Kids, You Know. I did my best! I hope you all like it!

http://shad-amy.deviantart.com/art/Formal-Sakura-FanFiction-129733389

July 8: WHOO!! I FEEL AWESOME!! XDDD I sent a message to FanFiction becase the anime Black Blood Brothers didn't have a character list, and I put a list in the e-mail. And now FF added the list!! YES!!

Ok, now that I got that out of my system...I updated twice on ATWSS, and the next WA, YSC and SOH chapters will be coming soon. Yes, I KNOW I've said the same thing a thousand times but never carried it through, but damn it, I'm gonna do it!! YOSH!!

July 1: What up, peeps? (Whoa, I'm not gonna say that again; it sounded REALLY weird, lol) Anyways, I've updated on ATWSS and WA, YSC. I've updated on Hp and the RDG and few times since I last posted a message here. Oops. O.O Well, Sakura and L will meet in the next chapter of WA, YSC, and something BIG is about to happen in ATWSS! Can anyone guess who the numbers are? XP Mwahaha! Anyways, SOH is about to be updated (yes, I know I said that last time, but I'm going to force myself to write!) :D The next HP and the RDG chapter might take a few days to get out, but that's because I'm already writing three other things! -sweatdrops- I need to stop making so many stories at once...but it's so much fun!! :DD

June 25: Hey everybody. Well, I wonder if you've all heard... Michael Jackson died today from a massive heart attack. The guy may have had some serious issues -- not to offend anyone -- but I loved his music. I liked him when he was still the black MJ. -sad smile- So, yeah...

Well, um, down to business: I've posted two new chapters to HP and the RDG and a chapter to ATWSS, and the next SOH chapter is about to come out. :) I thank everyone that has reviewed, and some new poll choices have been added. If you want to vote for any of the new ones and are unable to, just send me a message.

June 5: I just rrecently made two updates on And The World Stood Still, but I don't think anyone really noticed the second one. :( Well, just to let everyone know, there is another chapter of it out, so please read and review! Thanks to AweSomeNess123 yet again for being the only one to review. TwT You make my day! ;P

May 30: Oh, WOW, guys! I just updated on Harry Potter and the Red Dawn Guardians and Shizuku Oite Hana, and the feedback was amazing! I left for maybe five hours, and when I came back, the reviews were sky-high! I went from 72 reviews on HP and the RDG to 86! It makes me feel so happy when people review! :) Well, Itachi is kicking ass on the voting poll thing for the Saku pairing, but any one of the other characters can make a comeback! It's still open, and you better vote quick for the one you want to end up with Sakura if it isn't Itachi! -laughs- And The World Stood Still is almost finished -- I mean the next chapter! Not the story itself! SOH. I'm already half-way done with the NEXT chapter, and you guys FINALLY get to see Yahiko and Sakura together again! XD I won't say anything else, because I'm a mean dictator author, and everyone will hate me if I leave a cliffhanger again! So, yeah, that's it!

May 28: Well, I know probably no one reads these little entries, but I'll keep making them anyway for anyone that cares. The first chapter (technically the second chapter, if you count the prologue) of Worlds Apart, Yet So Close is now done! I'm almost finished with the next chapters of Shizuku Oite Hana and And The World Stood Still. Please note that I am NOT discontinuing ANY of my stories. I hate it when authors do that, so there's no way I'll do it myself. :) You may have to wait a bit longer for the next Harry Potter and the Red Dawn Guardians chapter, but that's because I make each one at least nine pages long. e.e Yeah, so, that's about it. Please don't forget to vote at the poll! Oh! And I am also FDS-Sasuke-fangirl-Lawliet's beta. If it's against the rules to beta two people at once, someone please tell me, because I didn't find anything that said it. :) Her fanfics are also really good, by the way!

May 10: By the way, I don't think I've put this on here yet. I take requests! If there's some kind of story or one-shot you want me to write, just send me a PM! :) Oh, and please vote at my current poll. I'm not sure which story I should do next, and if you like any of them, well you get the idea. Thanks to everyone who reviewed on my stories! The fourth chapter of Harry Potter and the Red Dawn Guardians is out now! :D

May 8: I'm officially Miranda-chan's Beta! Her stories are kick-ass, and if you haven't read them, you need to! I've favorited almost all of her stories, so you can read them below. She writes mostly Peinsaku (which amazing, by the way), but she also has a Deisaku (that she wrote for me!) and an Itasaku one-shot (it's so cute!). Please read them if you get the chance!

April 9: Well, I posted the next chapter of Shizuku Oite Hana, and it makes me a but sad to know that only one person commented on it. Thank you, AweSomeNess123! :) Anyways, I've just recently become a HUGE Ouran High School Host Club fan! I love that anime! (Heh heh, I actually watched every episode in one night ) So I was just wondering something; if I made an OHSHC fanfic, would anyone read it? Please answer on the pole. It would make me feel very speical! :D (Btw, Hikaru and Tamaki are all mine! XP)

March 31: Hey everybody. How's it been? Yeah, I'm really sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I've been working on this big-ass English project (a Multi Genre Research Paper, ugh) and I haven't had any time to work on my stories. It's about 9:00 (p.m.) right now, so I won't be able to do much, but I'll do a LOT more tomorrow after school. :) Oh yah, my lap top now has a virus and I'm having to write on my dad's computer. >.

March 17: Hiya everybody! Well, I have a picture now of the Seibutsu from And The World Stood Still. There's an explanation below the picture. Feel free to check it out! --> http://shad-amy.deviantart.com/art/Seibutsu-116251998

March 14: ATTENTION!! I have the third chapter of Harry Potter and The Red Dawn Guardians already written, but the website is being a fucktard and keeps messing up, so I can't upload it. Oh, and by the way, REVIEW!! Is THAT freaking hard to click the button and type : "I like it" ?! Is it THAT FREAKING HARD?! Thank you for favoriting it, but REVIEW!! You don't even have to log in or have an account!! Just DO IT!! Please.

MY STORIES:

And The World Stood Still
A huge war known as the Great Nation War, or War of All Wars, has torn apart the shinobi world. Only a few are still alive. On top of that, creatues known as Seibutsu appeared from a different demision because they want to run tests on the humans. The Seibutsu have been taking the living shinobi and condusting experiments on them in order to discover a way to gain their adaptation abilities. Once the Seibutsu are finished with someone, they kill them. At one base located in a former interrogation building somewhere in the old Kusagakure lands, the Seibutsu are finished with their test subjects. The Seibutsu in charge of the base ordered the others to kill all the humans so that they could find and use more 'fresh' ones. One such human - a girl - who had been locked up in the base for a very long time heard of their plan and broke free. She went on a killing spree and murdered every single Seibutsu in the base. Unfortunatel, however, the Seibutsu had already began killing the humans. Now only her and one other person are still alive in the base. Just who is he and what are they going to do?

She's Too Tough
Sakura, her boyfriend, and the Akatsuki are in a club. Her boyfriend just-so-happens to have a bad temper and - what do you know? A guy hits on her and he gets jealous. Not a good combination.
Songfic; She's Too Tough by Foriegner

Shizuku Oite Hana
Reiame Yahiko was walking down the street when - BAM! A girl ran into him. It gets better. She's a new student at his school. For once, Yahiko was looking forward to going to school.

Just to Get High
Tell me what you know. Tell me what you gone and done now... I may not have been able to physically see it, but something in the pit of my stomach told me. He was high.

Harry Potter and the Red Dawn Gaurdians
Haruno Sakura, nineteen-year-old Akatsuki member, is sent on a mission with Uchiha Itachi, Hoshigaki Kisame, and Deidara. Their mission: to protect a boy named Harry Potter from Voldemort, who has made an alliance with none-other-than Orochimaru.

A Nightmare on Leaf Street
The Akatsuki have been attacked by a number of villages, so they offer their survices to Konoha in exchange for protection and refuge. And where are they going to stay? Why, with poor little Sakura, of course. Now it's 2 years later and Halloween night...

100 Ways To Get Killed By The Akatsuki
100 ways to get killed by the Akatsuki. Feel free to try these out, but be prepared to run like hell when they find out it's you.

I'm grateful to everyone that has favorited my stories and added me to their favorite author's list, but I really wish you guys would review my stories and tell me what you think. Heck, you could give me ideas or tell me things you didn't like about it. I have anonymous review enabled, so you don't even have to log in. Please? 0w0

FAVORITE MOVIES: Underworld (all), Ghosts of Mars, Event Horizon, X-Men (all), Satr Wars (all), Pirates of the Carribean (all), Skinwalkers, X-Files Movie (all), Tallidega Nights: Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Jurassic Park (all), Harry Potter (all), Harold and Kumar (all), Secret Window, Halloween (all except the third, including the remake), The Fog (original and remake), The Net, Miss Conginiality (all), Wolf, Cursed, The Shining, 1408, The Dark Knight, Eagle Eye, Disturbia, Double Jeopardy, The Thing (remake only), Final Destination (all), Cheech and Chong (all)... when I think of more, I'll add them! :D

FAVORITE TV SHOWS: House, Third Watch, Moonlight, The Mentalist, Criminal Minds, X-Files, Dexter, CSI, CSI: New York, Bones, NCIS, Scooby-Doo, America's Funniest Home Vidoes, World's 40 Greatest Pranks (Part 1 and 2), Scare Tactics, Special Unit 2, Cats 101, The Crocidile Hunter Diaries, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, World's Dumbest..., Punk'd, Fringe, The Office, and Eleventh Hour.

FAVORITE ANIME/MANGA: Naruto, Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion, Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion R2, Black Bird, Barajou no Kiss, Hana to Akuma, Ouran High School Host Club, Black Blood Brothers, Vampire Knight, Vampire Knight Guilty, Absolute Boyfriend, S.L.H. - Stray Love Hearts!, Shuffle!, D. Gray Man, Jyu-oh-Sei!, Death Note, InuYasha, Bleach, Full Metal Alchemist, Rurouni Kenshin, Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni, Elfen Lied, School Days, Black Cat, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Poke'mon (eat that), SonicX, and Code Lyoko (are those last two even anime?) I tried watching Rosario + Vampire, but I didn't get past episode either two or three. Same for Helsing. The anime Negima! is good, too. I watch it every now and then.

CURRENT ANIME OBSESSION: Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion/R2

FAVORITE PAIRINGS:

Naruto:
PEINSAKU/NAGASAKU
MadaSaku
YahiSaku
HidaSaku
ItaSaku
DeiSaku
SasoSaku
AkatSaku
SasuSaku
NejiSaku
KibaSaku
GaaSaku
KankSaku
ShikaSaku
IzuSaku
KotetSaku
GenSaku
HayaSaku
KibaIno
MadaKonan
NejiTen
ShikaTema
NaruHina
KakaAnko
AsumKuri

Black Bird:
Kyo X Misao
(Oh, I wish this would come out in an anime!!) TT.TT

Ouran High School Host Club:
HikaHaru
KouHaru
TamaHaru

Black Blood Brothers:
Zelman X Mimiko
Jiro X Mimiko

Vampire Knight/VK Guilty:
Kaname X Yuki
Zero X Yuki
Aidou X Yuki (sometimes)
Kain X Ruka
Shiki X Rima

InuYasha:
InuKag
KogaKag
SessKag
MiroSang

Warriors:
Firesand
Crowleaf
Bramblesquirrel
Lionheather
Graysilver

Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni:
Keiichi X Mion
Satoshi X Shion

SonicX:
ShadAmy
KnuckRouge
TailsCream
TailsCosmo

Code Lyoko:
Ulrich X Yumi
Jeremy X Alieta

FAVORITE CROSSOVER PAIRINGS:

Naruto-Code Geass:
Lelouch X Sakura
Suzaku X Sakura

Naruto-Death Note:
L X Sakura
Near X Sakura
Mellow X Sakura
Light X Sakura (sometimes...)

Naruto-Black Blood Brothers:
Zelman X Sakura

Naruto-Vampire Knight/VK Guilty:
Aidou X Sakura ...TTwTT
Zero X Sakura

Naruto-Black Cat:
Train X Sakura

PEINSAKU, YAHISAKU, AND NAGASAKU ARE KICK-ASS! They're underwritten and they pwn!! X3

And I love Lucy/Nya from Elfen Lied!

FAVORITE QUOTES:

"I gotta jar of dirt! I gotta jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it!" -Jack Sparrow from Pirates 2

"Oh. Not good." -Jack Sparrow from Pirates

"You're mad!"
"Good thing, 'cause if I wasn't, this would probably never work." -Lord Becket and Jack Sparrow from Pirates 3

"How soon can we set off?"
-ship falls apart- "Do think he plans it all out, or just makes it up as he goes along?" -Lord Becket and random crewman from Pirates 3

"You are not my captian!"-to Elizabeth-
"Who among you do you call 'captain'?"
-points at Elizabeth-"Captain!" -random Singapore crewman and Davy Jones from Pirates 3

"How's Mum?"
-holds up a shruken head-
"...sh-she looks great..." -Jack Sparrow from Pirates 3

"You haven't raised an alarm."
"I know. Strange, isn't it? But not as strange as this."
"I said to myself, 'think like Jack'."
"And this is what you came up with? Leave a trail for Becket to follow and betray all the pirates? It's like you don't know me at all, mate." -Wil Turner and Jack Sparrow from Pirates 3

"James Norrigton, do you fear death?" -gets stabbed- "I take that as a 'no'." -Davy Jones from Pirates 3

"Do you fear death?"
"You have no idea..." -Davy Jones and Jack Sparrow from Pirates 3

"I once sailed with a geezer. Lost both of his arms and part of his eye."
"What did you call him?"
"...Larry." -Jack Sparrow and Gibbs from Pirates 3

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon." -Hermione from Harry Potter/Order of the Phenox

-POW!- "I needed that." -POW!- "I needed that, too." -POW!- "You're pushing your luck, Scoob!" -Shaggy from Scooby Doo 2

"I saw him through the window and he was wearing butt-inspection gloves." -Alex from Home Alone 3

"Dog?! Where?!" -Scooby-Doo from Scooby-Doo/Zombie Island

"I'm really starting to hate you, Kenji. You've been trying to kill us since the start of this damn movie." -Carter from Rush Hour 3 (blooper)

"Oh, come on, man! I love Chinese people!" -Carter from Rush Hour 3

"How do you say 'surrender' in Chinese?" -Carter from Rush Hour 3

"I'm Juan Toa's brother! I'm Blackinese!" -Carter from Rush Hour

"I don't know what the hell you feeding him, but he is too damn big!" -Carter from Rush Hour 3

"Oh no you don't mummy-man! It's time to put you under wraps!" -Shikamaru Nara from Naruto episode 33

"This is Madness!"
"This is polotics." -Elizabeth Swan and Jack Sparrow from Pirates 3

"Why am I covered in feathers?" -Bella Swan from Breaking Dawn

"It's the only way to get rid of the damn things! They're worse than cockroaches!" -bookkeeper from The Howling

"Shut up, you dirty piece of fox dung!" -Dustpelt from Warriors The New Prophecy: Midnight

"I hate mummies! They never play fair!" -Johnathon from The Mummy Tomb/dragon Emporer

"A brief shinning moment, and then that mouth." -Victor from Miss Congeniality

"Eyebrows; there should be two." -Victor from Miss Congeniality

"If you screw with me, I'll screw you right back!" -Mia from Vampire Academy

"I'm no ordinary pervert! I'm a MEGA PERV!" -Jiraiya from Naruto episode 54

"It's AWDORWABLE~!!" -Rena from Higurashi no Naku Koro ni

"And if anyone--ANYONE--tried to hurt one of my new friends, I would take them out. I would make them suffer so much, they'd wish they were never born. And if they tried to run, I would hunt them down." -Gracie Heart from Miss Congeniality

"I'm sorry. What was the question? I was too distarcted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your big trap." -Victor from Miss Congeniality

"With all this foil in my hair, I'm getting HBO." -Gracie Heart from Miss Congeniality

"What? No armored car?"
"That would be in my other dress." -Victor and Gracie Heart from Miss Congeniality

"I'm sorry, whoever you are, but this line is reserved for emergency calls only."
"No fucking shit, lady! Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza, here?!" -random police woman and John Maclain from Die Hard

"Damn Hamster! Stay still, Spiderboy!" -John Maclain from Live Free or Die Hard

"Wow...I know that tone, it's just weird hearing it from someone with...hair." -Mattew from Live Free or Die Hard

"Asshole?! I'm not the one that just got butt-fucked on national television, Dwayne!" -John Maclain from Die Hard

"I know where you live. If you're not well on your way to becoming a vet in the next six months, I'll kill you." -Tyler from Fight Club

"Yeah yeah, I got it! No wait, I lost it." -Tyler from Fight Club

"Pardon my French, but Camron is so tight that if you stuck a piece of coal up his ass, in a few weeks you would have a diamond." -Ferris Bueller from Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"Rescue her? How many of you are here? Seven? Maybe eight?"
"Five humans and a cat." -Ikkaku and Ichigo from Bleach

"The name is Ichigo. I'm the one who's gonna beat your ass. How's it goin'?" -Ichigo from Bleach

"A cute girl stopped me on the way, so I danced." -Kakashi Hatake from Naruto

"Under my mask is...another mask! Pretty cool, huh?" -Kakashi Hatake from Naruto

“Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking.” -anonymous (I have no idea who said the anonymous quotes) :P

“If you laugh, I will laugh. If you cry, I will cry and if you jump out of the window, I will laugh.” -anonymous

“I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.” -anonymous

"SHANARRO!" -Sakura from Naruto

"Thanks. Now that you've endorsed me and my family, I can finally get on with my life. It's the only thing that's been holding me back." -Christian Ozera from Shadow Kiss

"Jerks. Oh, hey. Doughnuts." -Rose Hathaway from Shadow Kiss

"I've hardly seen you at all since we got back. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were avoiding me."
"I am avoiding you." -Rose Hathaway and Adrian Ivashkov from Shadow Kiss

"I could tell you stories about your father that would curl even your greasy hair, boy!" -Mad-Eye Moody from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

"Follow the spiders? Follow the spiders?! If Hadgred ever gets out of Azkaban, I'll kill him!" -Ron Weasley from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

"What's he doing?!"
"I think he's singing..."
"Yeah, I once heard an animal make that sound, but when they rolled him over he was dead." -three of the Amigoes from Happy Feet

"In case you haven't been keeping up on current events, we just got our asses kicked, pal!!" -Hudson from Aliens

"What do you mean they turned off the power?! How could they turn off the power?! They're animals!" -Hudson from Aliens

"Is he dead?"
"That's the problem. He was already dead to begin with." -kid and Ichabod from Sleepy Hollow

"I'm giving you a choice. Now put on the glasses or start eating that trash can." -from They Live

"I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum...And I'm all out of bubblegum." -from They Live

HOW TO DEAL WITH A GRUE:

-Die.
-Scream and die.
-Scream, struggle, and die.
-Scream, struggle, shit yourself, and die.
-Scream, run, struggle, shit yourself, and die.
-Scream, run, struggle, shit yourself, look at a picture of Michael Jackson, and die.
-Scream, run, struggle, shit yourself, listen to any emo song, look at a picture of Michael Jackson, and die.
-Recite every line of Moby Dick in Italian. Grues love the Italian language, so it will subdue them for awhile. Of course when you are done reading, the grue will still eat you.
-Sing one of Michael Bolton's classic songs. Grues hate Michael Bolton. Of course they will still eat you, but you can have the satisfaction of having irritated a grue.
-Drink a glass of milk; 2.6 of grue are lactose intolerant, safe in the knowlege that the Grue will get diarrhea when it finally gets round to eating you, which is very quickly.
-Use extreme sarcasm.
-Build a sandcastle. It won't help at all, and you will be eaten, but it is a fun activity.
-Cast Frotz. This only works for wizards, enchanters, and other magically-enabled people.
-DON'T WANDER AROUND IN THE DARK, YOU MORON! Alternatively, light your torch.
-It is a little known fact that Grues like hearing haikus. Therefore reciting a haiku to a grue will extend your life by 17 syllables.
-Wrap a towel around your head. Although the grue will still eat you, it will make the postprandial cleanup easier. Plus, if you have telepathy you will be able to see the grue while it eats you.
-Yell for your mum over and over again until you die.
-Strip naked and perform an ancient Mayan rain dance, and pray that the rain distracts the grue.
-Call for a republican, and die.
-Continually masturbate. That's right. Day in, day out. It'll work, so long as there are kittens in the world.
-Summon Chuck Norris. This is not a very effective method though, because Chuck Norris is likely to wait until you are eaten so that he will get a show, and a kill.

╔═╦╦══╦══╦╗╔╦══╦══╗╔╗
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║║║╠╗╔╣╔╗║║║Put this on your
║║║║╚╝║╚╝╣║║║║║║║║║╚╝page if you love
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║╚╝║║║║╚╝║╔╗Naruto!
╚╩═╩╝╚╩╝╚╩══╝╚╝╚══╝╚╝

This Naruto commercial is awesome! I love it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RXAjInjyj4

And this music video rules, too! It's so sad! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDoHUaxeO3w&feature=related

Is it just me or is Gaara really hot? If you think he is copy this and put it into your profile and add your name to the list. UNITE GAARA LOVERS!! GaaraandAikoforever, LoveShinobi4eva, Silver Element,BlueSkyHeIs, aven, Ketsueki Senshoku, Gaara's Pyro RACCOON, Gaarasminestayaway, .Faking.This.Smile, Lilly, Jay Jay, StormofSilver, inspired122, Kasumi18, Rawr I'm Gonna Eat You, Missyserena214, GaaraIno4ever, sasukerules.org,animeprincess619, Whats2Live4, Shad-Amy, RoseHathaway, bellacullen3,

THE WE HATE KARIN CLUB:If you hate Karin from NARUTO, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Pink Crescent Moon, Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX, I'm in love with a Uchiha23, Angel Of Cherry Blossoms, Cherrilatina, CherryBlossoms016, Rayray, Sakura the lover, Sasusakufan2357, Lina Mistress of Elements, xnarutoxrocksx,uchihasakurah26, Nokas-Kokas, NorthernLights25, KunoichruleALL, Kawaiiblossom94, dera-chan,Mai-'-Kawaii-'-Ai,Ebil Chameleon you.broke.a.promise, XweaponsXmistressX, Sakura-Sasuke-love-em' , SASUXSAKUFREAK, PinkBlossem, Shadow Princess, CherryBlossoms, Hinatakura, Sakuranata, uchihasakura285, Could-careless, NejiSakuFan, xXHyuugaSakuraXx, RoseHathaway, Shad-Amy, bellacullen3,

THE WE LOVE SASUKE-BASHING CLUB: If you hate Sasuke from NARUTO and love making him suffer, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Kinomi-chan, EstherAngelofDeath, GaaSakuforever, Flyflew, XxMadara's-Little-StalkerxX, xXFallenSakuraXx, RoseHathaway, Shad-Amy, bellacullen3

THE WE LOVE SAKURA CLUB: IF YOU LOVE SAKURA FROM NARUTO, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND ADD YOUR NAME TO THE LIST: XxMadara's-Little-StalkerxX, xXFallenSakuraXx, RoseHathaway, Shad-Amy, bellacullen3

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, WhiteWinged Alchemist, DeiDei-kunsgirl, Foxfeather1337,Sadistic-Bitch, RoseHathaway, Shad-Amy, bellacullen3,

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whats so ever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it and you are one of those people, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, WhiteWinged Alchemist, DeiDei-kunsgirl,Foxfeather1337,Saditic-Bitch, RoseHathaway, Shad-Amy, bellacullen3,

If you hate Karin from NARUTO copy and paste these Karin bashings:

Karin is so fat, not even Naruto can believe it!
Karin is so fat, not even the byakugan can see through her.
Karin is so fat, she made fun of Chouji for being skin and bones
Karin is so fat, Tazuna considered using her as the bridge to the mainland.
Karin is so fat, that when Lee was doing her, he gave up.
Karin is so stupid, she couldn't find any of the "hidden" villages.
Karin is so stupid, she took a shit thinking it would open the 8 inner gates.
Karin is so old, Gai dropped his "Power of youth" philosophy on the spot.
Karin is so ugly, ANBU thought she was in the second level of the curse mark, and kicked her butt.
Karin is so ugly, even Sasuke couldn't ignore it.
Karin is so ugly, Itachi felt like his eyesight was diminishing when he saw her.
Karin is so ugly, it's forbidden just to transform into her
Karin is so ugly, Juugo's curse seal made him run for his life.
Karin is so ugly, the Nine-tails fled in fear.
Karin is so ugly, she made Jiraiya too scared to peek again when he saw her.
Karin is so ugly, They made her join ANBU just so they can put a mask on her
Karin is so ugly, when she passed by Hinata, Hinata yelled 'dayummmmm!'

I think that Karin needs to die. Soon.

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
Say the words out loud.
1) That's not right... ...Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? ...Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP... ...Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man... ... Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse... ...Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach?...Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift...Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here...Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet...Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone...,No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight...Le i Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile...Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive...Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great... ...Fa Kin Su Pah

Write down your twelve favorite Naruto characters and then answer the questions below.

1. Pein

2. Sakura

3. Itachi

4. Hidan

5. Deidara

6. Sasori

7. Neji

8. Gaara

9. Kiba

10. Tobi/Madara

11. Anko

12. Akamaru

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

Whoa. Shit, I hope I never do. I want to keep my eyes, ya know.

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

FUCK YEAH!! :D

3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

AHHH! THE MENTAL IMAGES! MAKE IT STOP!!

4) Do you recall any fics about Nine?

Yep! I have some in my fav stories right now!

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Yeah! That would be so cute! Sasori pratically is flirting with Saku-chan throuhg their whole battle!

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

...I really don't want to answer that...

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Holy shiznic! Sakura and AKAMARU gett'n it on?! And then NEJI walking in on them?! DX

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic.

Tobi and Itachi? Hm...

Freaky. Incest.

Summery: "Why do you always wear that mask?" His hot breath fanned out over my face, or at least through the single eye hole on my mask. "U-um..." I couldn't form the words. They seemed to get caught in my throat. "Tobi, could I see your face? Just once...?" I felt my heart pounding in my chest. I thanked Kami-sama for giving me a rib cage to hold it in. "Please...?" Such innocent, almost meaningless words, but still...I could help the sudden intense heat that flared over my face. Judging by the look in his deep, dark eyes, that was what he was aiming for. He had intentionally added that spine-tingling double-edge to his words, and I yet again thanked Kami-sama for my mask. "Please?" My lips quivered. I knew this was wrong. So very wrong. But still...I couldn't help myself. "...a-alright..."

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?
FUCK. NO.

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.

Abandoned and Disowned
(Neji's uncle no likey him and Kiba leave Akamaru 'cause he says he's just a foolish little puppy that will never learn. Neji finds Akamaru sleeping on the street, takes him in, and treats him like his own.) X3

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?

-Faints- mmfffrrghhhh...? NO. FREAKING. WAY. NEVER. GONNA. HAPPEN. EVER.

12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

um...nobody added me to their friends list... -goes off to my emo corner of doom-

13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

No friends list! I feel so unloved! TT.TT hey wait! I draw Anko sometimes! Yay! i can be my own friend!

14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five ?

-grins pervertedly- I might...

15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion?

Tobi/Madara. "Tobi, Oh god your a good boy!" Me an my pervy mind :3

16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

"WHO LET THE DOGS OUT??" XD

17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

warning: YAOI AND SUM DOG LOV'N, BITCHES! DON'T LIKE, THEN GO SCREW YOURSELF!! :3 I'm so kind, ne?

18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?

"Tobi read that girls like to be called pretty, but Tobi already calls Pretty Girl pretty! Does that mean Tobi's a good boy~??" (Tobi X Sakura)

19) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight?

AW! My litte almost-sister is so grown up! She's got a crush on the Kazekage! That's my girl! Go for the men with lots of power! Be good now, and don't forget to use protection~!" XD

20) How emo is Seven?

Depends on if it's his times of month XD poor Neji-kun! It's not your fault your hair is so long an awesomeness!

21) What would One and Four say if they were fighting over Two?

Hidan- "Back the fuck off! The bitch is mine, damnit!"
Pein- "NEVAH! SAKURA-CHAN SHALL BE MINE--ALL MINE-- AND WE SHALL RULE THE WORLD WITH AN ARMY OF FLYING HAMSTERS OF DOOM THAT WILL RAIN COCNUTS ON YOUR PITIFUL CITY!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Hidan- "...dude, WHAT THE FUCK? What kinda shit have you been snorting lately?!"
Pein- "I don't do drugs because my dear Sakura-chan wouldn't like it if I did."
Sakura- "Don't I get a say in this?"
Both- "NO!! YOU'RE MINE!!" (plus an extra 'FUCKING' and 'DAMNIT' from Hidan)

22) What would Six look like if he/she was cross-dressing?

HAHAHA! XD Sasori cross-dressing?! priceless! let's see...hm...he would have two pigtails and would wear a white button-up blouse with a blue skirt that comes a couple inches above the knees. don't forget the little black dress shoes and knee-length white socks! XD

23) What would a One/Two baby look like?

KAWAI!! X3 PEINSAKU IS AWESOMENESS!! their daughter would have sakura-style auburn hair with two spikey pigtails and renningan eyes and piercings! X3 her name would be Tasona and she would have sakura's temper!

24) What is Five's ultimate weakness?

getting his clay taken away XD

25) Would Two and Four be better as siblings or lovers?

HIDASAKU IS KICKASS!! though not as awesomeness as peinsaku! :3 they would NEVER be siblings! LOVERS! :D

1. Who is your favorite Naruto character(s)?
Sakura, Pein, Yahiko, Nagato, Hidan, Itachi, Madara, Deidara, Sasori, Izumo, Kotetsu, Neji, Kiba, Shikamaru

2. What is your favorite pairing(s)?
PEINSAKU, Hidasaku, Madasaku, Nejisaku, Itasaku, Kotetsaku, Izusaku, Kibasaku, Shikasaku, Deisaku, Sasosaku (pretty much anyone with Sakura) Kibaino, Naruhina

3. Are you a Naruto yaoi or hentai fan?
NONE!!

4. Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? If so, who, where and how many times?
I've cosplayed Itachi before, and I'm going to be Pein next year!! :D

5. List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise, if any:
Oh jeez. This may take a while...
Let's see. I have all the uncut boxed sets, all the movies, all the manga currently out, Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow book and movie, Mission: Protect the Waterfall Village book and movie, Innocent Heart, Demonic Blood book, Naruto Forever book, Naruto: the Official Fanbook, Naruto: Legend of the Stone of Gelel movie, Naruto: Gaurdians of the Crecsent Moon Kingdom movie, seven posters (well, technically fourteen because you can flip them over to another picture), three Shonen Jump magazines, one Anime Files book, Naruto Collecter 3, Art of Naruto Uzumaki, a Naruto sketch book, two boxes of Premium Naruto Trading Cards, Naruto: Clash of Ninja for Gamecube, Naruto: Clash of Ninja 2 for Gamecube, Naruto: Path of the Ninja for Nintendo DS, Naruto: Ultimate Ninja for PS2, Itachi cosplay stuff, a Kakashi bookmark, a little Sakura figure, a Naruto sketchbook, Naruto stickers, a Naruto address book, and a specially-made Pein t-shirt!! ;P

6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so, who?
PEIN. He's mine!! >:3

7. NaruHina or KibaHina?
NaruHina

8. SasuSaku or SasuNaru?
Sasusaku

9. Which team is your favorite? Team 7 or Team Gai?
They're both awesome!

10. Do you support the obito theory?
No. In Shippuden, it says that Tobi is just a disguise for Madara Uchiha.

11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father' theory?
DUH! It says so in Shippuden, anyways.

12. Your favorite Akatsuki member?
PEIN!

13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke?
SASU-GAY NEEDS TO GO DIE!! Does that answer the question? :3

14. Have you seen all Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)?
Yep! I live on the computer. What do you think?

15. Have you read all the chapters so far?
Duh.

16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD?
Probably. Whatever floats your boat!

17. Sub or dub?
Sub all the way!

18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura?
Sakura PWNS! What now?!

19. Tobi = Annoying or funny?
HILLARIOUS!! XD

20. Do you even know who Tobi is?
Hm...is he that potato over there? Well, DUH I know who he is!!

21. Gai = Sexy beast or Ugly nerd?
o.O er...I don't want to answer that...

22. Which character would be the best crossdresser?
Haku! I mean...wait. Doesn't he already dress like a girl? o.O

23. Rock Lee = Weird or Awesome?
Awesome! He's just a bit stalkerish...;P

24. Which character would be best OOC?
-evil laughter- Heh heh...orochimaru would be hillarious to see OOC! XD

25. Do you like Naruto fanfics?
No dur

26. Do you write Naruto fanfics?
Nooo. Nat at all. -rolls eyes sarcastically- :3

27. Do you like lemons?
...if I say yes, people will think I'm a perverted freak. If I say no, people will think I'm some kind of God's Little Angel...I'm already enough of a freak as it is. XD Uhhh, you didn't hear anything!! (Jeez. Just check my favorite stories for an answer!) :D

28. Do your parents know about the Naruto characters?
Yeah. I talk about them all the time and I force them to listen. They probably think I'm obsessed... -shifty eyes-

29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series?
YES!! They're so hillarious!! XD I just wish they wouldn't make fun of Sakura... GAARA OF THE FUNK!! XD -dies of laughter-

30. Have you seen The Naruto Ultimate Fanflashes?
YEP!

31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Naruto?
Nope. All my friend either think it's stupid or already watch it.

32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and has someone recognized it?
Hm...let's see. My binder is freak'n FULL of Naruto drawings and I hang out with the Otaku Club. HMMM. I WONDER. (I love sarcasm :D)

33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this?
Yeah, only they didn't say "What the fuck" or they would've been fired.

34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades?
Noooo... -shifty eyes-

35. Are you broke thanks to Naruto?
Many times over.

36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise?
O.O MY EYES!! IT BUUUUURNS!!

37. Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory?
WHAT?! NOO! I read a fanfic where he was the Akatsuki leader, but I didn't know it was a theory! I think Pein is the Akatsuki Leader and Madara is the Master (the one who hides in the shadows and tells Pein what to do).

38. Do you draw Naruto fanart?
DUR-DE-DUR!! I said that earlier!! (er...wrote...)

39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal?
NO! he looks gay!

40. Do you have a Naruto OC?
Many. My favorites are a girl named Yuri Tori and another girl named Furea.
Yuri --> http://shad-amy.deviantart.com/art/Yuri-Tori-Kumo-Ninja-111602641
Furea --> http://shad-amy.deviantart.com/art/That-s-Not-Suspicious-at-ALL-111602336
Oh! And here's two more of my OC's, Sakura little sister Shizuku and Yuri's little sister Inu. --> http://shad-amy.deviantart.com/art/Inu-and-Shizuku-had-fun-91302385 They're supposed to be making weird faces... =.=

41. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life?
Noooo. Of COURSE not. Who the heck do you think I am?!

Pick the ones that fit you (italicized and bold= stuff for me)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm FAT so I MUST smuggle chips into my classes.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I have EMO FRIENDS so I MUST be emo as well.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm a BRUNETTE WITH BLOND HIGHLIGHTS so I MUST be a wanna-be.

I'm JAMAICAN, so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN, so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I must have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terriost.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convienance store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid and stuck-up.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a big dick.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER AND ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be gay too.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a big butt.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I MUST be violent.

I'm a FEMALE VIDEO GAMER, so I MUST be ugly...or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be a nerd that does homework 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I MUST be fucked up.

I'm AMERICAN so I MUST be plotting to take over the world.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe Jesus Wuz A Brotha.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I love SHOPPING, so I MUST be rich.

I hate SHOPPING so I MUST be a freak.

I'm an OG so I MUST be mexican.

I like ROCK MUSIC so I MUST be a druggie.

I play CHESS so I MUST be a nerd.

I have a LOT OF FRIENDS so I MUST be bribing them with sex.

I have a FEW FRIENDS so I MUST be a freak.

If you hate stereotypes and think people should just SHUT UP AND STOP, POST THIS!

If everything I've said so far is right, or you think it's funny in any way whatsoever, paste this to your profile for others to enjoy.

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Send This In An E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile!

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.

18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.

19. Throw things over one aisle into another one.

20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you're not down anymore.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Try to half-ass comfort you when you feel down.
REAL FRIENDS: Grab you by the shoulders, shake you, and say "Bitch, snap out of it!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Always keep your stuff they borrowed in perfect condition.
REAL FRIENDS: Lose your shit and tell you, "My bad ... here's a tissue."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink because they think it's polite.
REAL FRIENDS: Raise an eyebrow and say "Bitch, I'll eat what I want" and are the reason you never have food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a very embarrassing book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Ask you what you number is.
REAL FRIENDS: Remind you what you number is when you forget.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Have to be reminded not to tell.
REAL FRIENDS: Would willingly go skinny-dipping in a tank of acid before they even consider telling.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will offer to pay when you have a drink.
REAL FRIENDS: Will laugh and say "Pay my ass! You'll pay for mine, bitch!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk.
REAL FRIENDS: Don't let friends drive drunk alone.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will apologize when you forget lunch money and say that they don't have any left.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Sucks for you" and finally cave after a few hours and then say "You owe me for this, you fatass."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will smile and say "Don't worry about me" when they forget their lunch money, even if you didn't offer to pay.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Bitch, I'm a fatass and I'm starving, now buy me some damn food."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will automatically tell you you're beautiful when you ask if something makes you look fat.
REAL FRIENDS: Will say "Well no shit, sherlock."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would tell you not to get a face-lift because you already look perfect.
REAL FRIENDS: Would say "Face-lift? I don't think a fork-lift would help."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Tell you your zits aren't noticeable.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Damn, girl! That thing is HUGE!!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh with you.
REAL FRIENDS: Laugh at you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Laugh at all your jokes.
REAL FRIENDS: Tell you your jokes suck.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Congratulate you when you get good grades.
REAL FRIENDS: Say "Jeez, you nerd. If you were in stupid classes like me, we'd see each other more."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Encourage you not to skip school.
REAL FRIENDS: Photoshop one of their old doctor's notes and use it to spring you from school.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will glare at the guy who dumps you and say "Forget him. You're too good for him."
REAL FRIENDS: Kick the guy's ass and threaten to castrate him with a spork if he comes within five miles of you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Crush on your older brother whom you absolutely despise.
REAL FRIENDS: Hate you older brother as much as you do and give him the nick-name "Faggot".

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it.

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

-/\_/\-
( 0 0 )

...／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７ 　
　l、 ~ヽ
　じしf, )ノ

These kittens look so kawai, ne? What about this one:

-/\_/\-
/ x # \
\...-.../

Kittens don't look right when they're beat up and have black eyes. Help stop animal abuse.

Guns don't kill people. People with mushtaches kill people.
XP
No, but seriously. Don't give guns to teens. They'll blow each others' faces off. I don't think that would feel very good. :/

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live.

If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste.

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake

I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cryed post this in your profile