I LOST MY INTERNET!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼! MY FRIEND IS TYPING THIS. SO SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE...IF YOU WANNA GET MAD AT SOMEBODY, GET MAD AT THE COX CABLE GUY!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!‼!

I am probably not going to update for a while until I get my internet back, which could be months.

I have internet at my dad's house, so I can read and review stories every other weekend, now, but my stories are on my mom's computer, so I still can't update.

My name is Tiffany

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is tiffany

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

And you can help

Sickens me top the soul,

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all I ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

Please pass it on.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you think that Miley Cyrus is an over-rated and talentless lipsyncher who is only famous because her father was big, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think HSM and Hannah Montana were good ideas that had great potential to be good shows that the whole family could watch, but ended up being incredibly stupid, pointless, and unrealistic, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been attacked by a non-man-eating fish copy and paste this onto your profile and add your name and the kind of fish to the list: Demented Vampiric Zombie (flying fish),

I am just a humble teenager sitting her living room; eating potato chips; listening to music; being tormented by ghosts, demons, and an anti-shadowperson; writing stories that I'm not legally old enough to read. If you want the whole story behind the "ghosts, demons and an anti-shadowperson" thing, go to www.neopets.com/~Luna_lovegood_230 it's all explained there. The potato chips are either ruffles original or lays salt and vinegar. The music is normally Evanescence, Vanessa Carlton, Sandi Thom, Hilary Duff, Flyleaf, Paramore, The Birthday Massacre, or Aly & Aj. The stories:

Online and Complete

The Rightest Thing

Bring a Friend

Both a prequel and a sequel to "The Rightest Thing" at the same time...don't ask... What happens when Severus breaks his promise to Bellatrix? What about when he makes another one its place? And what happens when he regrets doing both?

Crimson Regret and Betrayal

I wish...I wish I were dead..." What happened the night after Severus Snape uttered these words? Having promised to protect Harry, he couldn't die, but he wanted to. One-shot. Inspired by tourniquet and Like You by Evanescence. Not a songfic.

The Full Moon's Request

Tonks wants something from Remus, and he doesn't want her to have it. Inspired by the song Birdie by Vanessa Carlton. NOT A SONG-FIC! Rated because of paranoia. Not DH compliant.

Kiss Me

Lily and Severus sitting in the trees during the summer after their 4th year at Hogwarts. 100-word drabble. A bit sad. Rated because I'm paranoid.

Best of Cruel Intentions

The night the Longbottoms were tortured was a horribly sad night. This is my version of what happened. Written before DH. Inspired by Red Stars by The Birthday Massacre. No one dies, it's tragedy because they ended up "worse than dead." VERY SAD!

Maybe Tonight

100 word drabble. Basically everything I hate about fanfiction personified, but I don't think I did that horribly. A stolen moment in the lives of two young lovers. Next generation. Fluffy (gasp)! Inspired by the song "Before the Dawn" by Evanescence.

Online and Incomplete

Nightmares Under Purple Skies

The diary of Luna Lovegood kept during the months she spent in the dungeon under Malfoy Manor. Short inspired by the song "Imaginary" by Evanescence. NOT a songfic! Rated because I'm paranoid.

Over Punishment

A few summer days in the life of thirteen-year-old Severus Snape. Not as boring as it sounds. Fairly violent. Could be seen as a seen as a sequel to Bring a Friend. Not romantic! Finished in my notebook, I just have to type it up.

Offline but Complete in My Notebooks

Artificial Sun

I'm not exactly sure what this even is. I normally can't stand unrealistic couples, but I just had to write it. Set during DH. Ginny is at school and she, Luna, and Neville come up with a way to get information that only the Death Eaters would know. It works perfectly, but at the same time it goes horribly wrong. Diary Format (yes, I have Ginny writing in a diary...she's also out in the middle of the Forbidden Forest...Don't ask, I'm not sure myself). DMGW (like I said, I don't know what the hell was wrong with me when I got this idea). Inspired by the songs Pretty Baby, Rinse, Sway, Paradise, and Afterglow by Vanessa Carlton. I may be able to post this before I get internet back, if my dad's computer has a USB jack.

Downward Spirals

Sequel to Over Punishment. about half way through writing this story I got a song stuck in my head. More specifically Pain by Three Days Grace. More specifically the middle of the chorus "Pain, Can't get enough, Pain, I like it rough." That should tell you enough. If it doesn't...Sev's father gets even more violent during the summer after his third year. He finds a new way to deal with it.

The Revenge of Severus Snape

Sequel to Downward Spirals. I still had Pain stuck in my head when I started this story. Sev asks Lily to hurt him (for a good reason) before they go back to Hogwarts for their fourth year, she does it only because she knows that he'd suffer more if she didn't. Almost as soon as they get back to school, someone sees the scars and figures out not only that it was her, but why she did it. The rumour spreads and soon they have to deal with it. How does Sev deal with a crowd of curious students? And more importantly, how will Lily deal with a crowd of angry Slytherins?

'Til Death Do Us Part

Sequel to The Revenge of Severus Snape. The second biggest reason Sev never ran away from home has happened at last, without the benefit of being gone, and now Lily and her parents refuse to let him go home because they're afraid that if he returns, the first reason will happen, but that makes him afraid that his father will do the third. How does he deal with fear and Petunia at the same time?

(untitled 2)

Sequel to 'Til Death Do Us Part. Sev's Death Eater Initiation.

That's Life

Prequel to The Rightest Thing. Lily finds out about Sev's father's secret.

Ragdoll

The first detention Neville gets during his seventh year. First-person POV. Was a one-shot, but it has developed a second chapter about the aftermath of said detention with Ginny and Luna.

Memory

The last Half hour before Tonks dies. Very odd. Inspired by the song "Time" by Sandi Thom. First-person POV.

Carelessly Hidden/Not Justified/No Justification/We All Die/Untitled

I haven't decide what to call it, yet, do I put every title that I've considered up there. It most likely won't end up being one of those, though. Sequel to Artificial Sun. Set three days later. More AU than the first one. Ginny runs back to the forest and finds her diary once again after Draco brings her down to the dungeons to show her something, and this time she can't return. Not what you would expect because of things revealed at the end of Artificial Sun (in other woeds, not sexual unless you decide to over think things and add story details that are not even hinted at, but could possibly fit in). Inspired by the song "Bleed"/"I Must Be Dreaming"/"Untitled" by Evanescence (nobody is really sure what the title of the song is. I don't think it was never released in stores).

Untitled

Very short one-shot about the story of The Bloody Baron and Helena Ravenclaw. I've made a few changes to the book story because I think Helena probably lied about some of the parts that had nothing to do with the diadem, to make herself look better. Extremely short. Probably somewhere between three and five hundred words. I don't feel like counting right now.

Offline and Incomplete

Birthday Boy

Name has THREE reasons to be the name: 1) it was inspired by the song Happy Birthday by TBM and I tend to get song lyrics and turn them into titles, 2) the person who is the part that the 'birthday boy' in the song is the person the whole story is based around (though he is not the main character...see Lily's part in Crimson Regret and Betrayal), and 3) I don't want to spoil the ending...giggle...
Anyway, this is basically a fluffy romance, which is extremely disturbing since the main character is Bellatrix. The story contains a very violent flashback (see the song mentioned above), a non-sexual scene where Bellatrix gets pregnant (don't ask, just read it), and a ridiculously happy Bellatrix, which is enough to make it legally a K+ story, but I'm rating it T because nothing that makes Bella happy should be rated anything lower...just 'cause...

After the Battle

An almost fluffy little romance about Remus and Tonks after the battle of Hogwarts. Inspired by Do You Want Me, Weird, and a few other songs that I can't remember what they are by Hilary Duff. Cannot finish because I it ends with a kiss and I still haven't had my first kiss.

Plastic Tears

Technically part of Secrets of the Third Marauder, but It works as a one-shot. I messed with the years of everything, but oh well. James and Lily are about to dance when Sirius has an emergency. A real emergency. They leave the party and don't come back to the castle until almost dawn. The party has been over for hours, but Lily still owes James a dance. Inspired by Promise Me by The Birthday Massacre Cannot finish because it ends with a kiss and I still haven't had my first kiss.

The Secrets of the Third Marauder

A half-angst, half comedy story about Sirius Black's life from age eleven to eighteen. Co-written by me and my friend Mia, who doesn't have an account. I'm not good at comedy, so I asked her to help me. Inspired by Nobody's Home, Losing Grip, I'm With You, and I Always Get What I Want by Avril Lavigne. May end up containing RLSB slash, because they're too cute together and I can't resist, even though I'm trying to...

I'm Not Dreaming

Luna/Neville fic based on a long fic I wrote but will never post because it's crap. Neville has hurt Luna. He did it on purpose, but also accidentally, and he didn't want to do it. She's been in a coma for three weeks and he feels incredibly guilty. He's sitting in a tree and thinking about life when something surprises him. Inspired by Hello by Evanescence, but with a happier ending. Cannot finish because it ends with a kiss and I still haven't had my first kiss.

We're Lost and We're Found

Dedicated to the class of '08 at PCES. Inspired the song Nothing and Nowhere by Imagica (who turned into The Birthday massacre after they recorded the demo...). NOT A SONG-FIC! AU. Lily didn't sacrifice herself for Harry, but she killed herself the next day, unable to go on without him and James. Severus Snape is still a spy for the light, and he discovers others who wish to be spies, as well. This is the story of him and the others. All chapters but first one have been deleted for revision. They'll come back when I get internet.

Untitled

Most of the DH chapter "Malfoy Manor" in Hermione's point of view. Basically an excuse for me to be repetitive and use long words.

Funny things My friends/other people I know say

Before you read this, I warn you, there are random Harry Potter/Naruto references, so if you don't get something, that's why...

Ferrets are very COUhotGH meals!
(This has nothing to do with animals. HP reference. This came from a girl who we never thought could say anything like that...at all...ever... EVER...)

WEASEL!
(naruto reference...What is weasel in Japanese?)

DAZZLE!
(Twilight reference...that should be easy to figure out...)

Poison sumac, noun. A swamp shrub...(continues reading def. of poison sumac)...cousin of the poisonous banana.
(don't ask why my friend was reading us the dictionary, or why she added the end...the scary part is that we believed her for a while, until she randomly replaced other words with banana...)

...he's a weasel...
(this came from the same person who said the hot meals thing...she meant Ferret...)

FERRET!
(another HP reference...)

IT'S NOT MARS YOU IDIOT!
(this one was from when the three of us, who had never seen the Transformers movie before, were watching it in a car with a broken DVD player so there was no sound and we were making up the words...There was also something about giving someone all of our cookies or they'll turn us into a grape...)

But you have to watch out for the Hogwarts Lighting incorporation,cause they will steal all your cookies and turn you into a grape!!
(This is the thing with the cookies and grapes...Mia just reminded me what it was...)

Girl from bible school a few years ago: 1 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...
Me: Giraffe!
(we were trying to stop her from reaching 100, don't ask why...)
Counting girl:...8, 9...
Me: Aaron Carter!
(Mia and I had huge crushes on him for a long time...then we turned 10...)
Counting girl: face screwed up in disgust ...10, 11, 12...
Mia: Zac Effron!
Counting girl: face immediately goes all dreamy Where was I? Oh, right, 11, 12...
(Mia and I think Zac effron is disgusting, as well as orange...)

I'M GONNA DIE!!
(this was a girl from camp that said this every five minutes...the one time she didn't say it was the one time that she was in actual danger of falling around 20 feet...then she felt completely safe...)

Me: reading aloud come to the dark side, we have cookies...that can't be right...
Mia: takes out piece of paper and writes phrase. crosses out "cookies" and replaces it with "Draco"
(I don't think that's actually how it happened, but you get the idea)(if you don't get the Ferret thing now, I feel sorry for you, you sad, deprived person...)

Mia: Put the lime in the coconut and mix it all up!
Mia's little sister: Put the lime in the llama's butt and mix it all up!
Me: Put the lime in the coconut, in the llama's butt!
(I think this was originally from somewhere else, but I don't remember where, so I'm putting this occasion up. Mia's sister has ADHD, Mia has a sugar rush, and I have ADHD anda sugar rush! That's never a good combination...we were in Mia's room and I had my phone on to record a voice memo. Later that day we ended up in her sister's room throwing a beach ball at Mia...Mia and I were in 7th grade then, I don't know what grade her sister was in.)

YOU WANNA SEE WHAT SUGAR CAN DO TO ME? MeEp! mEeP! COKE! NUFFINS! MUFFINS!
HI! This is Mrs. Popcorn, I'm feeling very good, but I only have one eyeball, and one finger.
Announcer: And what are you going to do with that finger?
Me: POKE MY EYEBALL...OUCH!
(This was a post Mia and I put on the boards in late November, 2006. We were high on all my Halloween candy and we were quoting another one of my friend's joke. Both are now recorded on my phone.)

My friend: Popcorn got sick, but, um, I don't know, he's like all cheesy and good, so...he's gone, yeah, yeah! He's really good! Okay, I have one, I have his eyeball right here, okay, and he's gonna talk to us, k? I'm gonna try to to make him, I'm gonna try to put it into words so we understand. Okay. Hi popcorn!
My friend making her voice sound weird: Hello, My name is popcorn. You remember me, do you remember me? Okay!
My friend in her normal voice: How are you feeling popcorn?
Popcorn": Oh, I'm feeling fine, yes I am, but I only have one eyeball, and one finger.
My friend: And what are you going to do with that finger?
Popcorn": Poke my eyeball, yes!
(This is the original of the popcorn joke. It is part of an 11 minute long recording in which my I sing about doing a puzzle, for 5 minutes, and my friend names "phony" and explains his family history. His mother was a "hot" red phone, his brother got lost in another network, and his father was a camera. And says three different words for "butt": behind, buttox, and bahookey.)

Freddy: my name'sgoth!
Me: Give it a rest, already! I'm not goth! Just because I wrote a story about a goth girl doesn't mean I'm goth, it means I'm creative!
(a few weeks later, on the swings...what a surprise...)
Freddy: You know that when I call you a goth, I don't mean it as an insult...Goths can be hot...urgent Not that I think you're hot or anything!
pause
Freddy: I have something to tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anybody.
Me: Sure.
Freddy: I like, will you go out with me?
Me: No, Sorry.
(a few days later...I had told my friend because I had to tell someone...that's the only way I can keep from telling everybody...my friend was in 8th grade and me and Freddy were in 6th, so I thought it was safe to tell her...I have a knack for making the most annoying friend...but I love 'em anyway!)
My friend: Hey, Freddy, date any goths lately?!
Freddy: face turns bright red
(a few weeks later...Freddy had gotten over it...I never felt bad about telling my friend because realy, she didn't tell anyone else and Freddy deserved that...we were on the swings again...I was on the last swing, Jessy was beside me, and Freddy was on the other side of her...)
Freddy: You know I can imagine people naked?
Me and Jessy together: I didn't need to know that!
Freddy: There are only three people I've ever done that with, though...and you only know two, the third is a girl on my soccer team.
Me and Jessy together: I don't think I want to hear this.
Freddy: The other two are you two. My name, will you go out with me?
Me: jumps off swing screaming and goes and hides behind tree
now this is 7th grade...he still hasn't given up
Someone, I'm not sure who: Freddy, what happened to you leg? points to huge scab on his leg
flashback
Freddy: Come back here! grabs my sweatshirt
Me: Kicks Freddy in the leg as hard as I can to get my arm free
Freddy: OW! hops on one foot and lets go of my sweatshirt
end flashback
Freddy: I walked into a locker. shrugs
Jessy: sarcastic That locker was vicious, too. It really attacked you.
(this is even funnier when you learn that at that school, you don't get lockers until 8th grade)

CRAZY MURDER!
(In seventh grade we were splatter painting with tempera paints in art class and one of my friends had used too much water so his paper ripped, and I had finished early so I had started covering my hands with paint and discovered how much the red and black mixed looked like blood. We heard someone at the next table talking about something to do with killing, I don't remember what it was, and there was a girl we didn't like in the class who was a total idiot...so I covered my hand in the red and black paint, we walked over to her, and I stuck my hand through the paper and we both yelled crazy murder to see if we could scare her, even though it was obviously paint and she could see our faces. She actually ran away screaming...several times...)

Isaia: Do you know what swinging fast reminds me of?
Jessy: Annoyed What?
Isaia: dreamy BG
Me and Jessy: Quit it! I'm tired of this!
Isaia: And do you know what slow swinging reminds me of?
Me: annoyedLet me guess, BG?
Isaia: dreamyNope, swinging slowly on a Sunday morning and eating ice cream with BG!
Freddy: Did you just say that you had sex with BG on a swing on a Sunday morning while eating ice cream?
Isaia: Yep, hey, NO!!
(This was in sixth grade, we were, where else, on the swings. Isaia had been on about BG for weeks, they had gone out for a total of 45 minutes, which is so far, his longest relationship, but anyway, we were all looking for a way to shut him up, we didn't even know why he liked her, BG stands for Bitchy Girl, and she was just that. He quit it after that, thankfully. This is named (yes we named it) the Sunday morning comment.)