I actually updated my profile for once.

The only excuse I have for not writing is because you're all bitches. JK, I love you. ...But you're still bitches.

Hi! I'm Akito The Sex Goddess, but you can call me Goddess Of Everything That Has Ever Been Or Will Be Related To Fornication. If you want to talk to me, well too fucking bad. Ah, just kidding, I got email and Skype, hit me up if you want them. Or my phone number. But you better be sexy.

~Akii, Goddess of Sex and all that is Sexual

The Girl Behind The God//

Name: Sohma. Akito Sohma.

Age: Technically, I'm adult. Mentally, though...

Sex: On a daily basis. Sometimes with my husband.

Marital Status: Married to Shigure Sohma. Sadly.

Occupation: Sex goddess. And head of the Sohma Clan. Haha, that makes us sound like ninjas.

Height: The average height for an 11 year-old. Not an 18 year-old.

Weight: The average weight for an 11 year-old. See my point?

Hair Color: As black as my soul.

Eye Color: As black as my hair. Technically, dark brown. Fuck you.

Likes: Sex, fucking, fornication, doing "it", oral & anal, and masturbation. Oh, and babies. Babies are so cute when you eat them.

Dislikes: Everything except what I said up there.

Fun Facts: I single-handedly caused poverty in Africa.

Quotes and Inside Jokes//

"If you can't fly- run. No matter what you do, just keep moving,"~Martin Luther King Jr.

"I got an iPod, but he only got an iPod mini! Everyone knows its for girls!" ~Borat

"There's nothing down there!" ~Hideki

"Celery~!" ~Matsuda

"I am the antonym of beautiful!" ~Akito

"Akito- the Hump Ninja,"

"King Kong and the Monk; Miroku's Hairy Love Affair"

"I did Batman and I liked it! The smell of his hairy armpit (LOLZ)! I did Batman just to try it! Hope his girlfriend don't mind it..." ~Joker

"NNNNNNNNNNNNO!" ~Blue

"A spoonful of sugar does NOT make the medicine go down!" ~Joker

"I bet its fun inside those rubber, silicon, latex underwear... I wanna get in those." ~Joker

"You gotta start eatin' our stuff... I eat Loco Mocos." ~Joker

"Scarecrow, the new Richard Simmons,"

"Sexual harrassment..."

"The rain in Spain falls mainly on the Crane." ~Harley

"You can't judge a man by his immunities!" ~Deidara

"It's a tape measure!" ~ Fenwick Arbuckle

"Defend yourself? DEFEND YOURSELF!? You're too short to defend yourself! I'M TOO SHORT TO DEFEND MYSELF!" ~ Vincent Harker

"I'M NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR!" ~ Cameron Craft

"You had a fish named Captain Kanuckles? I can't believe I actually said that!" ~ Damien Black

"Vincent; The Midget Rapist" ~ Fenwick Arbuckle

"Is that a ten gallon hat or are you just happy to see me?" ~ Andie

"I swear its a pocket knife!"

"Ray beats Frank and cows, cupcakes beat Ray, Mikey beats dogs, and Gerard beats the meat!"

"The Magical Elephant Who Plays Piano With His Butt Kazoo Boy (AKA Adam Lambert)"

And so, so much more.

Favorites//

Anime: Axis Powers: Hetalia, Bleach, Dragon Ball Motherfuckin' Z, Chobits, Fruits Basket, Elfen Lied, Death Note, Inuyasha, and Peach Girl. And like a bazillion others I don't care about.

Manga: All of the above, and Vampire Hunter D

Comics: Batman

Music: Rock, Alternative, Metal, Grunge, Punk, Jrock, Jpop, Japanese traditional, and classical piano

Book: Vampire Hunter D (First Book), The Killing Joke, Arkham Asylum, Memoirs of a Geisha

Television Show: I don't watch TV because TV is for poopheads.

Movie: The Dark Knight (all time favorite), Batman Begins, Memoirs of a Geisha, and Curse of the Golden Flower.

Food: Egg Foo Young, Moo Goo Gai Pan, and Ma Po Tofu (Fuck you, I'm Chinese)

Character: Germany from APH, Yoruichi from Bleach, Bulma from DBZ, Akito from Furuba, Sango from Inuyasha, eh, more.

Color: Black

Website: FanFiction, YouTube, Chatango (it's my home away from home)

Story Status//

Akito's Diary: In Progress.

WICKED! A Fruits Basket Crossover: One-Shot.

A Day In The Life of Light Yagami: One-Shot.

Harley's Polka Party and the Joker's Boner: One-Shot.

Between: Completed.

Agony: A Sequel: In Progress. Hiatus.

Primrose Path: In Progress. Hiatus.

Definition: One-Shot

Restless Nights: One-Shot

Deliverance: Completed.

Cake: A misunderstanding: Completed.

L's Rant: In Progress. Hiatus.

Objection! In the Mind of Phoenix Wright: In Progress. Hiatus.

Bolded: Updates are (probably) coming soon.

Coming Up: N/A

20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:

1: At lunch time, sit in you car with sunglasses on and point a hair dry at passing cars; see if they slow down

2: Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.

3: Every time some one asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that

4: Put you garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"

5: Put decaf in the coffee maker (home or work). When everyone gets over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso

6: In your memo book, on all your checks, put "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS"

7: Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance To The Prophecy"

8: Don't use any punctuation

9: As often as possible, skip instead of walking

10: Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face

11: Specify that your drive-thru order is "TO GO"

12: Sing along at the opera

13: Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

14: Put mosquito netting around your work area (or room) and play tropical sounds all day

15: 5 days in advance, tell your friend that you can't go to their party cause you don't 'feel like it'

16: Have friends or coworkers address you by your wrestling name "Rock Bottom"

17: When the cash comes out of the ATM yell, "I WON, I WON"

18: When exiting the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives they're loose"

19: Tell your children (or younger sibling) that "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"

20: And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity is... Copy this and put it on your profile!

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you wonder who started these thingamawhatevers, copy this into your profile

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile.

If you are part of the .0000001 percent of people who don't have a MySpace, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.(I've done that more than once, enough said.)

If you have ever hugged someone only to realize that you don't know who they are copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you are one of the 8 who would be laughing their butts off.

A good friend will bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "Man that was fun".

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging!

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

In a dog-eat-dog world the best thing to do is become a cat.

If the good die young then the bad die old; thus leaving us with only politicians left.

Goldfish have the memory span of 3 seconds, sometimes I have to wonder if I'm a goldfish

Rules are like paper clips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps themselves.

If you have an army of blue snails with battle axes at your command copy this onto your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you think that yogurt is not meant to be eaten with a spoon but with your mouth copy this onto your profile.

If you think that those god-forsaken kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile.

If you think that I'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile.

If you hate those spoof movies, copy and paste this into your profile.

Scrubs Fanfiction Number Pairing Quiz

00. Randomly list 12 of your favorite characters.

1.) Turk

2.) Carla

3.) Dr. Cox

4.) JD

5.) Dan

6.) Ted

7.) The Todd

8.) Dr. Kalso

9.) Eliot

10.) Sam

11.) Isabella

12.) Rowdy

01. Have You Ever Read a 6/11 Fanfic?

Ted and Isabella? No, that's absurd!

02. Do you think 4 is hot? How hot?

JD? He's the sexiest character! I'd tap that.

03. What would happen if 12 got 8 Pregnant?

If Rowdy got Dr. Kalso pregnant, I'd be really...really confused.

04. Can you recall any fics about 9? Can you recommend any?

Eliot fics? Nope, haven't read any. I don't personally like her.

05. Would 2 and 6 make a good couple? Why or why not?

Carla and Ted? Must I say more?

06. Do you like 5/9 or 5/10?

Dan and Eliot, cute, I guess. Dan and Sam? Completely wrong.

07. What would happen if 7 walked in on 12 and 2 having sex?

If The Todd walked in on Rowdy and Carla having sex, he'd probably join in.

08. Make a summery for a 3/10 fic.

Dr. Cox and Sam... Let's see. It'd be some sort of parental fic, I can say that much, at least.

09. Is there such a thing as a 1/8 fluff story?

Turk and Dr. Kalso? HEAVENS NO! And if there is, I'm NEVER reading it.

10. What title would you give a 7/12 Hurt/Comfort fic?

The Todd and Rowdy... One Man's Dog Is Another Man's Solace.

11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted 4 to de-flower 1?

JD deflower Turk? It's already happened!

12. Do any of your friends read 7 slash fics?

The Todd slash fics. Well, I wouldn't put it past Eno. -snicker-

13. Do any of your friends read 3 het fics?

Dr. Cox? Wouldn't put that past Eno either. KIDDING... Lil' Darlin'. >_> Jaaaaack.

14. Do any of your friends draw or rp as 11?

Mocha Cub? Nope. But she's the cutest lil' thing you's ever saw!

15. Would anyone you know write 2/4/5?

Carla, JD, and Dan... Hell, I'd write that shit.

16. What might 10 scream in a moment of passion?

Sam? Probably GOO GOO GAA GAA at the stage he's in. o_O

17. If you wrote a song fic about 8, what song would it be?

Dr. Kalso... Secret Agent Man. o_O

18. If you wrote a 1/6/12 fic, what would the warning be?

Turk, Ted, and Rowdy. WARNING: Contains bestiality.

19. What would a good pick up line be for 10 to use on 2?

Sam to Carla? Don't think he could say much. But in his mind, I bet he's saying, "I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?"

20. When was the last time you read a fic about 5?

Can't say I've ever read a Dan fic.

21. What's 6's Super-Kink-Secret?

Ted? He's into banana hammocks.

22. Would 11 shag 9? Drunk or Sober?

Izzy to Elliot? No way in HELL.

23. If 3 and 7 got together, who would top?

Dr. Cox and the Todd? Definitely Dr. Cox. o_O

24. "1 and 9 are in a happy relationship until 9 suddenly runs off with 4. 1, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with 11 and a brief, unhappy affair with 12, then, follows the wise advice of 5 and finds true love with 3."

What title would you give this fic? Name one person who should write it.

Turk and Eliot are in a happy relationship until Eliot runs off with JD. Turk, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Isabella (o_O) and a brief, unhappy affair with Rowdy (unhappy?), then, follows the wise advice of Dan (HA HA! Wise.) and finds true love with Dr. Cox.

I'd call this story, "A Day in the Life of Scrubs... Fucked Up Edition." I think Eno should write it.

25. How would you feel if 7/8 was cannon?

The Todd and Dr. Kalso? I might just stop watching Scrubs. o_O

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

"Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the Universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a chair has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch it to be sure."

"Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence."

"You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder."

The diference between humor and tragedy is that humor is when it happens to someone else."

"Who ever said that words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary."

Don't let your mind wander, Its too little to be let out alone.

"The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music. "

"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. "

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

A repair shop: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if you throw it hard enough.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

White man: "Colored people are not allowed here."

Black man: "Listen sir, when I was born I was BLACK. When I grew up, I was BLACK. When I'm sick, I'm BLACK. When I go in the sun, I'm BLACK. When I'm cold, I'm BLACK. When I die, I'll be BLACK. But you sir, when you're born, you're PINK. When you grow up, you're WHITE. When you're sick, you're GREEN. When you go in the sun, you turn RED. When you're cold, you turn BLUE. And when you die, you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

Post this on your profile if you hate racism!

Thanks for reading! I love you guys!