Note: Wow, I really need to write something other than a oneshot...or post some of the things I've been sending Gen.

If you've got a problem with me, kindly go jump off a lake.

Once upon a time, a girl was randomly searching Google for stories because she had read all the books she owned and was rather bored. This girl quickly discovered a site called 'fanfiction.net' and clicked the link. Upon seeing all of the wonderful - and some not-so-wonderful - fanfiction in store, she decided to start her reading again. And now, this girl is typing up a Bio for no apparent reason other than boredom, Mary Sue overload, and to see if anyone would actually read this crap.

My Philosophy That Gets Me Through Life: All. Bugs. Squish.

Randoms About Me No-one Needs to Know:

Name: Eh...my penname is all you need to know. (Totally just contridacted the above statement.) You can call me by whatever my current penname is, as they change rather often.

Age: I am THIRTEEN! Just turned, too, so beware. Hey, it's finally legal for me to be doing what I've been doing for over five years! Watch pg13 movies alone...and read rated T stories, which I've only been doing since I discovered this site.

Hair: A lil' past chin-length in the front, and shorter in the back. It's light brown, and layered.

Eyes: Shining emerald orbs with just a tiny sparkle of gray(how does gray sparkle?). Or, in other words, green. Why do people call them 'orbs'? I mean, do they look like shiny glowing spheres of light floating in midair, 'cause that's what comes to mind when I hear the word 'orb'. Plus, it's, like, the ultimate Mary-Sue eye-description word.

Birthday: May 22nd. REJOICE!! (If you don't get me a present, I'm throwing you into the slave pens when I rule the world.)

List of Pennames in Chronological Order: Phantom Clock, Invader Fei, Noxie Mox, Cali Moroa, Jojo the Squishy, Ragdoll of Ashes, Anathema's Abode. I actually liked RoA, but this one is prolly gonna last longer than the others.

Favorite Pairings(not in any particular order, and NOT organized by seme/uke-top/bottom):

Danny Phantom: Meddling Minutes, Temporal Trust, Haunted Past, and I forgot what Ghostwriter/Danny was called, so screw that for now.

You want a shortened list of my DP faves...here: Dark Danny/Clockwork.

Invader Zim: Non-horrifyingly angsty ZaDR. Wasn't that so short compared to the above list?

Xialin Showdown: Chack, Parental!Wuya/Jack, Rai/someone-who-is-not-Kimiko. I just really don't like Kimi...

D. Gray-Man: Yullen, Laven, and Poker Pair. Plus one other one that I totally love but don't want to be shunned for.

Twilight: Canon as of Breaking Dawn.

Full Metal Alchemist(yes, folks, 'Full' and 'Metal' are seperate. But I'll use Fullmetal from now onwards because it just flows better that way.): Roy/Ed, Al/Winry(See? It's not ALL yaoi...), Al/Hawkeye, Havoc/Ed, Hughes/Ed(shaddup. I know it's weird, but I like it 'cause of that...). All time FMA fav is Roy/Ed.

Most favorite pairing in the history of the history of my favorite pairings(aka, my current OTP): Poker Pair(that's Tyki/Allen from DGM)

Fandoms:

Basically what was listed above...only not so much Twilight because I read Twilight fanfiction for an entire year while waiting for Breaking Dawn and I'm a kinda completely sick of it. In that mention-it-again-and-I'll-throw-up kind of way.

Well, that and The World Ends With You, Soul Eater, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and about three thousand more. Moving on. //blatant ignorance of all contradictions//

...NICO FTW!! (another awesome pairing; Percy/Nico)

Other:

I tend to be sarcastic, but I'm pretty sure I know how to be; some people are just constantly sarcastic over everything, not even knowing what they're talking about or when to stop. I abhor Mary Sues. I adore angst, it makes me feel all fuzzy inside. I take karate, and will be taking the Junior Black-belt Test next year. I started reading thick books in second grade when I grabbed the thickest one I could see off the school library shelf (Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone, for those who want to know) so that I could look smart reading it, but then got really interested and turned into a bookworm. My parents are divorced, and I have both a step-mother and -father. From both my parents, I'm an only child, but I have a half-brother, step-brother, and will later have another half-sibling. Someone once described me as deranged. I've got two piercings in my right ear and one in my left(gonna get a cartilage in my left soon). Contrary to popular belief, I am a good student, I get a 4.0 GPA. I can keep a secret, and I can listen very well if I deem it important. Reading is my escapism. My imagination very often runs away with me, an explanation for the abundance of AU's I'm sending to Midori. I tend to talk almost exactly the way I type, which is a weird mix of slang and really long words. It's just my thing. I hate it when people say I promised or said something when I didn't. The reason for that is that I have to have either myself or someone I really, truly trust being in control of myself and it pisses me off when people wrongly accuse me of something. I take the word promise really seriously. I'm a hopeless romantic, and despise when people say 'I love you' and don't mean it in the let's-get-married-and-stay-together-forever, Edward/Bella kind of way. I don't get emotionaly attached to people outside the family very easily, as in; The only reason I would be upset if I had to change schools is because I wouldn't be used to the new school system and my grades may go down. Except for one person who I'm starting to really like because I can actually hold a decent conversation with her about my favorite subject...Midori, you know who you are ;P I actually love moving and changing school; gives me a clean slate every time, and I can make myself into whatever I want. I'm going to try(and most likely fail miserably) to learn German and Italian from a Rosetta Stone. I'm Christian by blood, have an aristocratic Jewish last name, yet I'm agnostic. Ain't that just great? I'm proof of the saying, 'Humans are hypocrites by nature.' I'm a Gemini and have slight MPD(Multiple Personality Disorder). I don't like math because I'm good at it, I like it because there's always some way to find the answer; you just learn and memorize it, then you're good for life. I swear and curse, but not so much that it gets annoying. I hope. I'm still afraid of monsters in my closet, in the mirror, under my bed, out the window, on the ceiling, and everytime I enter a room, I look around for them. Ah, the wonders of paranoia. I have a small, bright red cactus sitting next to my computer. I drink black tea with milk and two teaspoons of sugar, exactly, at least two times a day, more like four if I'm at my mom's house. I am absolutely terrified of any bug larger than a ladybug, except ants. Ever since those little bastards literally swarmed my house, they scare me. The scariest by FAR are roaches and those FRICKEN BLOODY HUGE green ones that hide themselves. They're found in the savannas and are LITERALLY the size of those little 240 mL water bottles. I would know. I saw them at the San Francisco zoo. I get really ticked off in that rip-out-your-guts-and-wear-them-as-a-belt type of way really often, but in flashes - 0 degrees to boiling in a nanosecond, and back down in about five. If I'm not completely raving mad, I just rant in my head and no-one knows the better. It's really pissing me off that people spell 'staring' as 'starring'. I. Hate. Bad. Grammar. It's okay if a story has got maybe a few things incorrect, a couple of misspellings; I understand, some people are new to the English language and may need some more practice. There may even be typos. You've got them. I've got them, especially with this horrible keyboard. But when a story has got blatantly horrible grammar throughout the whole thing, it's really annoying. Especially since sometimes they're really good stories otherwise.

Holy crapsicles, that was a long list. Give yourself a pat on the back and a Jolly Rancher if you managed to read through it all.

I'm gonna smile like nothing's wrong, talk like everything's perfect, act like it's all a dream, and pretend it's not hurting me. Isn't that an awesome quote?

QUOTES!!1!!111!one!!eleventeen!:

If you like slash, femslash, yoai, and yuri and you don't know how the fuck that happened, copy and paste this into your profile. I remember the first time I wandered into a lemon, but how the hell did the yaoi-love thing happen?

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you don't believe this statistic, copy and paste this into your profile.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Humor is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Once, a computer beat me at chess. It was no match for me in kickboxing, though.

Will: Where's Elizabeth?
Jack: She's safe, just like I promised, she's all set to marry Norrington, like she promised, and you're going to die for her, just like you promised... So we're all men of our word, except for Elizabeth, who is, in fact, a woman.

PMS - Possible Murder Suspect

PMS - Prehistoric Monster Syndrome ~me

I purposely create awkward moments because I think it's funny.

At first, there was nothing. Then, God said, "Let there be light!" There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lt better.

I did not hit you, I simply high-fived your face.

Tu madre! Yes, you W E R E just burned in Spanish. Would you like some ice for that Spanish BURN?!

Anyone ever notice 'studying' is 'student' and 'dieing' put together?

She's my best friend; Break her heart and I break your face!

Antidaephobia: The fear that somewhere, somehow, there's a duck watching your every move.

I'm not perfect. I'll annoy you, tick you off, say stupid things and then take them back. But put that all aside, you'll never find a girl that cares and loves more than me.

It's a lot easier to say you don't care than to admit you're hurt.

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself . So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

Duct tape is like the force; It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

As I lay in bed looking at the twinkling stars above me, I think, "Where the hell is my ceiling?"

Ninety-three percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on Ebay.

In the beginning, the Universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

I'm only mean to people who tell me to be nice!

Curiosity killed whoever got in my way.

I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.

Do not meddle in the affairs of slash writers, for you are cute, and would look good with another guy.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Most teachers promote the three R's; Reading, 'Riting, and 'Rithmetic. Then there are those that promote three S's; Sit down, Shut up, and STOP DRIVING ME CRAZY!!

The majority of people learn from others' experiences. A few people learn from experiencing things themselves. Then, there are those who stick their hand in the fire to see if it's hot.

A good friend comforts you when he dumps you. A best friend comes up to him, kicks him in the nuts, then says, "It's 'cause you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend bails you out of jail. A best friend is sitting in the next cell, laughing, and saying, "That was fun, let's do it again!"

A good friend helps find your Prince Charming. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

Weird is running up and down the street in a bikini, rubbing butter all over yourself, and screaming "I'm a pretty muffin!"

When Life gives me lemons, I throw them back and punch Life in the face, really, really hard.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is the same as cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

People are like slinkies. Basically useless, but it's so amusing to watch them fall down the stairs.

When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you jump off a bridge, I laugh harder.

If you have ever seen a movie or show so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile. (Danny Phantom, ftw!)

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

To date, life has been a race between Software companies making bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe making bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.

Smile. It scares people.

An overly-positive attitude may not be enough to solve a problem, but it sure ticks people off enough for it to be worth it!

There are easier things to do in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.

A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."

I'm not so good with advice. May I offer a sarcastic comment?

The way my mind works gives a new meaning to complex.

Someone once said, "If you can dream it, you can do it." I'd like to find that person someday, turn into a purple dragon, go on a homicidal rampage, eat dinner with 'em, set their house on fire by flapping my wings, then collapse sobbing on the sidewalk because it was an accident and I was only trying to show them how I could fly and didn't mean to hurt them. Nevermind the aforementioned homicidal rampage.(Yes, I've actually dreamt that. I have weird dreams.)

The knack of flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

Amatures built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Whoever said words don't hurt have obviously never had a hard-backed encyclopedia hurled at their head.

Sticks and stones may brake my bones, but words will eventually kill me

Hell hath no fury that of a scorned woman. I'll help make sure of it.

Sometimes it just helps to be upside-down.

When someone annoys you, it takes fourty-two muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend your arm and whack them upside the head.

I get plenty of exercise; jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

Life isn't passing me by! It's trying to run me over!

Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

They say every 1 in 5 people is Chinese. There are five people in my family. Mom, Dad, me, Tom, and Kong Shen Heng. I think its Tom.

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'

I didn’t escape from the mental ward! Those sirens are a complete coincidence!

Drive like you stole it!

Everyday I think people can't get any dumber. Everyday I'm proven horribly wrong.

And to think you are the result of millions of years of evolution.

There's nothing that can't be fixed with duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over.

Don't upset me, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Danny Fenton(from inside a haunted hospital): AUGH!! LET ME GO!
Tucker Foley(hates hospitals and doesn't want to go in this one): Technically not a cry for help.
Danny: HELP ME!
Tucker: Still not a cry for my help...
Danny: TUCKER!
Tucker: Darn it!

Danny Fenton(over a megaphone and from a rooftop): Listen up, everybody. If you want your parents back, you're going to have to follow my lead.
Dash Baxter: Why should we follow you, Fen-toad?
Danny: You're right, Dash. Let's follow the other kid who comes from a family of ghost hunters and knows how to work all their gear.

When You Dial A Mental Hospital

Ring...Ring...

Welcome to Psychiatric World. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the phone so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are delusional and hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

True Friendship

#1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who did it.

#2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

#3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

#4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

#5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

#6. When you are confused -- I will use short, little words.

#7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

#8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

#9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "Because you are my friend."

Tomboy Quiz:

YOUR GUY SIDE:

x You love hoodies.
x You love jeans.
x Dogs are better than cats.
x It's hilarious when people get hurt.
x You've played with/against boys on a team.
x Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
x You own/ed an X-Box.(Own, but don't play. Used to, though. Now it just sits there.)
x Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
x At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
x You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
x Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.(Not unless I want a full blown lecture that ends up with him talking about how the meaning of life is to be happy. No joke.)
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
x Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.(Gold, thank you very much)
x You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
x Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.

Total: 14

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

x You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
x Go to your mom for advice.
x You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
x You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
x You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
x You don't like the movie Star Wars.
x You were in gymnastics/dance?
x It takes you around/more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
x You smile a lot more than you should.
x You have more than 4 pairs of shoes.
x You care about what you look like.
x You like wearing dresses when you can.
x You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
x You love the movies.
x Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
x Like being the star of every thing

Total: 16

Hm. Seems I'm not a Tomboy.

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７ 　- Meow?
l、 ~ヽ
じしf, )ノ

ETC.

If anything in this profile is misspelled, grammatically incorrect, or if any of the quotes are just plain not-funny, please tell me so I can fix whatever's wrong!

~ Ana