Hi I'm Mogg, it's not my real name but one I chose. Or rather one my annoying brother chose for me.

For any of you that want my phone number- It's 999, or 911 if you live in the US, please state your reason and don't forget to choose the Police as your choice.

I am me.

12th August 2009: Weeell, I thought that instead of scrolling down the page or just adding more to the top I'd just delete that which was annoying me. So, I'm on holiday, and my internet connection is far from brillient. However I have now found some 'new' copy and paste thingys. Sorry if any have been pasted twice.

Some random things I have collected.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you hear voices in your head and know that they are real put this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you have a long bio/profile, and wish to hereby enhance the length of said autobiographical document, copy and paste this to said world wide web page to make said autobiographical document increase in length, number of words, interestingness, and other things which would be known as fun, copy and paste this piece of information to your said autobiographical document.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, put this in your profile.

I'm bored...if you are bored, put this in your profile and let the world know that you have nothing to do.

If you have zoned out for more than 5 minutes, put this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, put this in your profile.

I'm bored...if you are bored, put this in your profile and let the world know that you have nothing to do.

If you have zoned out for more than 5 minutes, put this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copy and pasting things to your profile is totally pointless, and yet you do it anyways, pointlessly copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you said it, copy and paste this to your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself. So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this into your profile.

If you hear the voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

Fancy a challenge? Try this: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!

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Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

You know you live in 2008 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

Hmmm it's 2009...

Did you know?

Kissing is healthy.

Bananas are good for period pain.

It's good to cry.

Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

Lying is actually unhealthy.

You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want you to make the first move.

It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

Chocolate will make you feel better.

Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

A good friend never judges.

A good foundation will hide a hickeys...not that you have any.

Boys aren't worth your tears.

We all love surprises.

Now...make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!

WISH WISH WISH!!

Your wish has just been received.

Copy and paste into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...your wish will be granted.

My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see.
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong,
Or else I'm locked up
All day long.
When I awake I'm all alone,
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car,
My daddy is back
From Charlies Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls,
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes,
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says it's my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!"I scream.
But it's now too late,
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again,
Oh please God,have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.
Child Abuse,Make it stop!

Not one of the best poem I've come across but here it is:

You Have to be Deaf to Understand
by Willard J. Madsen

What is it like to "hear" a hand?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be a small child,
In a school, in a room void of sound -
With a teacher who talks and talks and talks;
And then when she does come around to you,
She expects you to understand what she's said?
You have to be deaf to understand.

Or the teacher thinks that to make you smart,
You must first learn how to talk with your voice;
So mumbo-jumbo with hands on your face,
For hours and hours without patience or end
Until out comes a faint resembling sound?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be curious,
To thirst for knowledge you can call your own,
With an inner desire that's set on fire -
And you ask a brother, sister or friend
Who looks in answer and says "Never mind"?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like in a corner to stand,
Though there's nothing you've done really wrong,
Other than try to make use of your hands
To a silent peer to communicate
A thought that comes to your mind all at once?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be shouted at
When one thinks that will help you to hear;
Or misunderstand the words of a friend
Who is trying to make a joke clear,
And you don't get the point because he's failed?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be laughed in the face
When you try to repeat what is said
Just to be sure that you've understood,
And you find that the words were misread -
And you want to cry out "Please, help me, friend!"?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to have to depend
On one who can hear to phone a friend,
Or place a call to a business firm,
And be forced to share what's personal, and,
Then you find that your message wasn't made clear?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be deaf and alone
In the company of those who can hear -
And you can only guess as you go along,
For there's no one there with a helping hand
As you try to keep up with words and song?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like on the road of life
To meet a stranger who opens his mouth -
And speaks out a line at a rapid pace,
and you can't understand the look in his face
Because it is new and you're lost in the race?
You have to be deaf to understand

What is it like to comprehend
Some nimble fingers that paint the scene,
And make you smile and feel serene
With the "spoken word" of the moving hand
That makes you feel part of the world at large?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to "hear" a hand?
You have to be deaf to understand.

I think one of my friends must get really annoyed with me when I forget to translate, it's even worse when I haven't heard and people expect me to have had. Idiots.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. (Or so I've been told, anyway)
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs. (Well I have no aversion to not wearing clothes...)
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare. (Apparently deafness is a disability)
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. (Only in speech for me)
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake (depends on what it is, but in most RL things it's true)
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

Here is 30 things to do in an exam if you know your going to fail it anyway:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly. (if someone actually does this please tell me)

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Masturbate.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

What if your name was Anonymous? You’d get the credit for everything nobody wanted credit for.

Why do people say ‘heads up’ when you should duck?

If our planet is inhabited with creatures made by God, then isn't it possible that there is another planet out there inhabited by creatures of the Devil?

In Disney’s ‘Tarzan’, how come Tarzan doesn’t have a beard?

How come the words ‘thaw’ and 'unthaw' mean the same thing?

What would happen if you said ‘Hi’ to a friend on an aeroplane who’s name is Jack?

What does OK actually mean?

Wouldn't it be ironic if someone were to choke and die on a life savor?

When a car is for sale and it has a balloon on it, does the balloon come with it?

Does it really count in court when an Atheist is sworn under oath using a Bible?

Why is it that when we are humming, and we block our noses, the humming stops? Do we really hum through our mouths or our noses?

Are children who speak sign-language allowed to talk with their mouth full?

How fast do hotcakes sell?

What do vegetarians feed their dogs?

Do stuttering people stutter when they think to themselves?

Isn't it strange that Halloween is the one day a year that your parents tell you to take candy from strangers?

Who gets to keep the pennies in a wishing well?

How come popcorn isn’t a vegetable?

Why do people say; ‘You can’t have your cake and eat it too!’ Who would buy cake if they couldn't eat it?

Why aren’t safety pins as safe as they say they are?

Why do companies offer you ‘free gifts’? When has a gift NOT been free?

Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?

Can mute people burp?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Who was the first person to say, “See the chicken over there?... I’m gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt.”?

Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?

If you made cookies with chocolate milk instead of plain milk, would they taste chocolaty?

What was Captain Hook’s name before he got a hook for a hand?

What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it’s all about?

Why does the Easter Bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

Can you slam a revolving door?

What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder?

Can a cross-eyed teacher control his pupils?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?

Why does it say ‘May contain traces of peanuts or other kinds of nuts’ on peanut butter jars? Surely anyone buying peanut butter was well aware of this.

Why is it that people duck in the rain? Do they really think it will leave them alone?

If a pope goes to the toilet, is it considered holy crap?

Why can the saying ‘It’s all going downhill from here’ mean both that it will get easier, and it will get worse?

What is a hacky, and why is it in a sack?

Have ex-bankers become disinterested?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

You know how most packages say ‘Open here’, what is the protocol if the package reads ‘Open somewhere else’?

Do birds pee?

Why does mineral water which has “trickled through mountains for centuries” go out of date next year?

Why don’t you ever see baby pigeons?

Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream? How much more sour could it become?

How can there be ‘self- help GROUPS’?

How can someone ‘draw a blank’?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

I know you can be overwhelmed, but can’t you ever be whelmed just right?

How can something be new AND improved? If its new, there's nothing its improved apon.

If you feed a bee nothing but oranges, does it start making marmalade?

If a man is walking in a forest, and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Why do they sterilise needles for lethal injections?

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say that humpty-dumpty is an egg?

Can blind people see their dreams?

What came first, the fruit or the colour orange?

What's the opposite of ‘opposite’?

Do sore thumbs really stick out?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Is the fear of flying groundless?

Do mimes watch silent movies?

Why can’t women put mascara on with their mouths closed?

Why can wizards make things disappear into thin air, but not thick air?

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them as much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Death is hereditary.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

kitty!

This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your
signature to help him gain world domination

If you're going to do something wrong, have fun doing it.

You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP

That which doesn't kill you... will probably try again

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

A true friend stabs you in the front

Cry me a river, build a bridge, and jump off it.

I take a simple view of living. it is to keep your eyes open and get on with it.

You can't say that civilization doesn't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.

They condemn what they do not understand

There are a few ways to silence the screams. Bullets happen to be one of the more efficent methods.

Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap that mother@#?!&! upside the head. Pass it on.

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste into your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

To catch me you got to be fast, to find me you got to be smart, but to be me? Damn you must be kidding...

Its all fun and games until someone gets hurt... then its just funny

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

When an announcement comes over the loud speaker at a store, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

If anyone is bored and feels like PMing me I really don't mind, I like PMs :D but I love nattering on pointlessly. So you are forewarned, although I do try to keep my drivel as sane as possible I doubt it seems that way.

Now I feel like writing something, Urg. I wanted to go back to sleep. Maybe I should brush my teeth now, then I'm doing neither. Yeah maybe.

If you want my email address- well you can't have it sticks tongue out.

Uh, well I have gotten rid of the worst of the typos in this, I guess that is one use of my brother's laptop.

I did do some quiz thing then deleted it.

I think I might go and search other profiles for more stuff to stick in now. Because I'm just that sad.