Wow, a profile. That's a lot of pressure. Don't want to seem self centered, but don't want to be vague, either... what's essential?

Essentials

Did you ever see the movie Dedication? (If you didn't, you totally should, it's adorable.) You know that monologue that Billy Crudup does about the things that are essential to his being? I should do one of those, right now.

Okay, so...

I think I only truly hate about 10 things, but I'm disdainful of pretty much everything else. I can be civil to but cannot be friends with nymphomaniacs, pedophiles, people who do not like reading, self righteous vegetarians, or teenagers. I am both cynical and incredibly sarcastic, but I'm also a hopeless romantic. I am aware of all of my irritating personality flaws but do not have the time or the energy to fix them. No one knows me better than me, and no one ever will.

About my writing: I am a chronic procrastinator and a perfectionist, so it usually takes me ages to write something, and after I write it, I'll probably think it's not good enough, delete it, and write it again. Next time you feel inclined to complain about how long it takes me to update my stories, try to consider how I feel. Nothing I write is ever good enough for the little editor that sits at an oak desk in the back of my mind. I listen to music when I'm writing, and am always on the lookout for new bands, so if you have any recommendations, please...

I am a chocoholic and not an alcoholic not so much because it's not fun to be drunk (it is) but because I don't like the taste of alcohol. I like cheese. I am afraid of spiders and flowers that have visible stamens. I am not allergic to anything, but I have this weird twitch that I do whenever someone says something incredibly stupid. I work part time and do not participate in any extra curricular activities other than writing and playing for a soccer team whose winning streak cannot be blamed on me.

I am pale, have short, dark hair (because I lost patience with it when it was long), wear glasses, and I don't smile. My favourite writers are Stephen King and Jeffrey Eugenides. Also love Alan Moore.

I think that's pretty much everything. If you have any questions, ask, please.

Current Story

Currently working on a fic called The Shepherd, part one of a series, the number of stories in which is currently undecided. It's a romance in the best way I know how to write romance, which is by observing people who are in love in spite of the fact that they hate each other. What better way to be, right?