I have learned not to update my profile if:

I have had wa-ay to much caffeine for one day.
I am currently enjoying a sugar rush.
It is past 11:00 at night.
I am sleep deprived.
: )

Everyone needs their daily dose of happiness, and I get mine from Mitch Hedberg. He’s my favourite comedian. Some of the jokes, you’ve just got to hear him tell them, but I think they’re all hilarious. I recommend buying his CDs…or downloading them from Limewire like I did. Shh. Don’t tell. Here is some of his material for your viewing pleasure.

I think Bigfoot is blurry. That's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. ‘Look out, he's fuzzy! Let's get out of here!’

I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry, and you want 2,000 of something.

You know when it comes to racism, people say, ‘I don't care if they're black, white, purple or green….’ Oooh, hold on now. Purple or Green? You gotta draw the line somewhere! To hell with purple people! Unless they're suffocating—then help 'em.

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, ‘You’re gonna have to move. You’re blocking a fire exit.’ As if there were a fire, I wasn’t gonna run. If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit!

I can't get into flossing. I can't. People who smoke say you don't know how hard it is to stop smoking. Yes I do. It's as hard as it is to start flossing. ‘You seem jittery. Yeah, I'm about to floss.’

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just an Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

I was walking by a drycleaner at 3AM, and there was a sign that said, ‘ Sorry, we're closed.’ You don't have to be sorry. It's 3AM, and you’re a drycleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna come by at 10 and say, ‘Hey I was here at 3AM, and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology.’

When you go a restaurant on the weekends, and it's busy so they start a waiting list. They say, ‘Dufrane, party of two. Table ready for Dufrane, party of two.’ And if no one answers, they'll say the name again. ‘Dufrane, party of two.’ But then if no one answers, they'll move on to the next name. ‘Bush, party of three.’ Yeah, but what happened to the Dufranes!? No one seems to care! Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing! You people are selfish. The Dufranes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct tape over their mouths, and they're hungry. That's a double whammy! We need help! ‘Bush! Search party of three. You can eat once you find the Dufranes!’

Anyhoodle, on with the show!

I've been enjoying this site for quite some time now, and I thought I should try my hand at it.

My favourite category is Bulma and Vegeta. There's something about their drama and romance that really fascinates me. I've recently developed my own story about them, which is why I decided it was time to create my own account here on Fan Fiction.

Anyway, a bit about me: I finally finished high school! Woohoo! I'll be leaving for college in August. I plan to major in Culinary Arts, but I may try Pre-Med...who knows? I'm still undecided in that area--you know, the whole "Rest Of My Entire Life" part. I am a bit of a spelling/grammar nerd, so one of my biggest peeves is when people cannot deign to use the spell-check button! Come on, it's not that hard! My biggest likes, you say? A well-developed plot, to be sure, good grammar/spelling, and, of course, cucumber pie!

(No, I am not serious. I, for one, have never tasted cucumber pie. However, if anyone would like to enlighten me as to its taste, then, by all means, please do!)

I am, however, quite partial to baking and strawberry-banana smoothies.

One of my favorite quotes about writing comes from the amazing Orson Scott Card in his introduction to Ender's Game:

"This is the essence of the transaction between storyteller and audience. The 'true' story is not one that exists in my mind...The story in my mind is nothing but a hope; the text of the story is the tool I created in order to make that hope a reality. The story itself, the true story is the one that audience members create in their minds, guided and shaped by my text, but then transformed, elucidated, expanded, edited, and clarified by their own experiences, their own desires, their own hopes and fears.

The story is the one that you and I will construct together in your memory. If the story means anything to you at all, then when you remember it afterward, think of it, not as something I created, but rather as something that we made together."

Isn't that just perfect?

Anywho, if there is anything more you desire to inquire (ah! a rhyme!) of me, feel free to contact me!

-A Serious Authoress

Update concerning Everything's progress, 7. 21. 08:

I finally got the third chapter, "Break Me Down," finished and posted! Woohoo! Yeah, I know. It took me long enough. Now...the fourth chapter. Dunh dunh dunh Actually, I've already started a teensy weensy bit of it. My biggest problem now is that I'm not sure where I want to go with the story. I'm trying to decide how it will all play out. So, it might be a while before the next update. I will try my best, however, to not let it be as long as last time.

Oh, goodness. I just realized how wacked out that last update is. I sound like I'm on some illegal substance. Sheesh. I guess I was just in a crazy mood. It happens sometimes. (Ok, ok. It happens a bunch of times...) But anyway, for those who are reading, know this: I am writing. No matter how long it takes me, I do not plan to abandon this story.

Love and such frilly nice things,
ASA : )

Update concerning Everything's progress, 4. 21. 08:

Alrighty, then... Here's the deal: I'm a crazy over-acheiving female who's taking 3 AP classes. That equals a whole friggin' crapload (ah yes, such sparkling language, I know.) of homework and studying. So! I have unfortunately not had the time to devote my full attention to writing this story. And that, dear friends, is the only attention I want when writing. I will not sacrifice quality for a quick update...it would kill me.

But do not be dismayed nor disheveled (No, not even frumpled, my dears.)! In 2-3 weeks, all will be in tip-top tiptoppiness. I will be through with high school and studying for my AP exams! --flips out and frolicks around room, babbling incoherent proclamations of pure, unadulterated joy-- : ) Then, I will be free to write 'til my poor fingers are positively withering away and can no longer push a wonderous blue gel pen across a sheet of paper. But again, I assure you--my fingers are wise in the ways of The Force. Years of note-taking have taught them well.

Ok, ok. I'm sorry. This is me on 2 hours of sleep and a frazzled brain from the multitude of Monday tests I had today. Those evil teachers... Anywho, you get the idea. I'll go now before I type any more about The Force and whatnot. : )

Love ya! Well, not really. I mean, I don't know who reads this. To claim that I love those people without even knowing who they are...that's just a wee bit presumptious, not to mention creepy. : )

-ASA