A dog's happiness is measured by how useful he is to his master. Physical-wise, mental-wise, sexual-wise...

Of course, "dog" is just figuratively speaking for a man. "Master" is of course, preferably another man.

Your's Truly's Profile:

This is it. The profile.

And this is the end.

Or well, I'd very much like it to be.

...My profile...

Stop making me repeat myself! It's bad for my health!

Well, lesse. Random Facts About me:

-- Am a girl.

-- Am quite alive.

-- Am- I DID NOT ESCAPE FROM THE MENTAL ASYLUM!! THOSE SIRENS ARE A COMPLETE COINCIDENCE!!

My Love of Quotes:

So tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?

Life's always been a race between computer programmers developing bigger and better idiot-proof games and the Universe creating bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.

I'm...actually, I'm a super-magical human. I have been hiding this fact for a long time. But I have this precious kingdom to go back to. The reason why us super humans have long hair is that our great king Rubalru had a miracle vision when he was about to die. The person who gave him this vision is called Great Kandora! When Kandora used his super magic power, King Rulbaru's Super-Ultra-Magical-Force was freed like a bird and made him grow Ultra-Strong-Magical white long hair from his head! Just then, what happened was when King Rulbaru was resting, an emeny kingdom suddenly attacked him. He was in such a terrible situation! He thin asked Kandora for power! And then-!

If you die, I'll kill you!

Come on, scribbles on a bathroom wall...! Please show me the path I must follow!

Drive like you stole it!

I am Valentinez Alkalinelia Xifax Sicidabohertz Gumbigobillo Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovicci Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser. Don't hesitate to call.

The past is the past... and the future is the future. A man is a man, and a woman is a woman. I am who I am, and you are who you are. Like it really matters anyway...

I think I know, I don't think I know, I don't think I think I know, I don't think I think.

Lesson #3 : If you see a stranger, Follow him.

I wouldn't mind if you want to kill me, but I might struggle a bit.

Because you know, most people object to being killed quite a lot.

Damn you! Let me inside of you!! LET ME INSIDE OF YOU!

WHO DID YOU SAY WAS A MICROSCOPIC SHORT BEAN THAT DOESN'T SHOW UP IN YOUR EYES?!

I don't want to live in a world without Light!
Yes, that would be very dark...

Aint, I? I'm literally hemorrhaging generosity.

Of course! Dogs embody loyalyl! They follow their masters commands above all else! Be a jerk to them and don't even complain or ever once beg for a paycheck! Trust me Fuery, they're the great servants of MAN! LOYAL CANINES, HOW WE SOLUTE THEE!

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Dare I ask why?
Ask away.
Okay. Why?

Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.

I will not contradict you solely because everyone is entitled to their own opinions, no matter how wrong your's may be.

Silence is Golden, but duct tape is Silver.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Money doesn't make you happy.
Too true, too true... You know, I have fifty-one dollars in my pockets and I was just as happy with fifty.

Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Someone once said that "If you can dream it, you can achieve it." They obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.

The basic rule of human nature is that powerful people speak slowly and subservient people quickly -- because if they don't speak fast nobody will listen to them.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

I'd rather believe in the Bible, because instead of holding onto the biblical view that we are made in the image of God, we have come to realize that we are made in the image of monkeys... And I really don't see how that's flattering.

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.

All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

If the world was a stage, I want to be the one operating the trap door.

Life is so unlike theory.

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Life is wasted on the living.

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.

Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

To deny, atone, or beg for forgiveness is the arrogance of those who did the killing.

Youth is a malady of which one becomes cured a little every day. He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed.

Always laugh when you can. It is cheapest medicine.

Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!'

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the project manager, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Optimists think the glass is half full. Pessimists think the glass is half empty. Realists know that someone will have to wash the glass.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.

Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk,my first instinct is to laugh.But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me.Then it wouldn’t seem quite so funny.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying.

Here's to you and here's to me, and I hope we never disagree. But, if that should ever be, to HELL with you, here's to ME!

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.

I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Death is hereditary.

My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.

I'm a paranoid apathiest. I know someones out to get me i just don't care.

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75 of the world's population.

If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.

When life gives you lemons, you’d better wait for it to give you some sugar first or else you’ll have some really nasty-tasting lemonade.

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.

The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.

An expert is one who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.

The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.

In order to get the handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of toads.

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?

When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you’re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for. Unless it’s death by meteor.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

My Reality Check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids.

Everything I Learned In Life, I Learned From CLAMP

1. If you're not angsty, you should be.
2. There is no such thing as coincidence.
3. Evil takes the form of four Japanese mangaka.
4. Everything's better in alternate universes.
5. If you're precious to your brother, you're probably doomed.
6. Actually, if you're precious to anyone, you're doomed.
7. In fact, you're probably just doomed anyways.
8. Treasure your eyes. You never know when they'll be taken away.
9. Subtext really does equal buttsex.
10. Everything has a price.
11. The most powerful people are alcoholics.
12. Never trust the bunny/pork bun.
13. True love always prevails. Usually.
14. Love comes in all forms.
15. At least you’re not Subaru.
16. Nothing says love like agreeing to be somebody’s primary food source.
17. If someone comments on your eyes being pretty, you will probably lose them several chapters later.
18. Even if you and your beloved are a canon couple, by the end, you still won’t have kissed.
19. Even in other series, you still will not kiss.
20. If your grandparents are constantly on vacation, they most likely don’t exist.
21. Never carry your most treasured item around with you.
22. Everybody has an evil twin.
23. Tokyo Tower is, more than likely, the source of all evil.
24. If you’re good-looking, you’re doomed or angsty. Probably both.
25. Don’t expect to live a happy life. You’ll only be disappointed.
26. The more they smile, the harder they fall.
27. Your fan base is directly proportional to how angsty you are.
28. Everyone is pretty, even when bleeding or in agony.
29. Torture and mind games are just another way of showing you care.
30. Your boss is bad for you.
31. The world is split into three genders: male, female and androgynous.
32. Blood is aesthetic.
33. It’s not real magic unless you can conjure a two-meter-wide magic circle.
34. Flat strips of paper can reach the same speed as an F1 race car.
35. Fire doesn’t burn unless the plot requires it to.
36. No matter how ripped your shirt gets, it’s not coming off.
37. Men with black hair and glasses (including sunglasses) cannot be trusted.
38. Anyone who says having magic powers is cool could not have been more wrong.
39. It’s possible to store two swords and enough clothing for four people inside the mouth of a bunny/pork bun.
40. Who wears short shorts? Little boy detectives wear short shorts!
41. Four leaf clovers aren’t as lucky as they’re made out to be.
42. If you’re a character voiced by Megumi Ogata/cool/fan favourite/bishounen, you’re doomed.
43. Hell, you’re in a CLAMP anime. You’re doomed.
44. Remember your dreams- they’re the key to the plot.
45. If you can’t whistle, “hyuu” instead.
46. If you feel someone’s watching you, they probably are.
47. If he’s tall, dark and handsome, he’s taken- by the outrageously cute boy standing next to him.
48. Feathers have the ultimate power. Buy a chicken.
49. If your series is happy sugar-coated fairies and gay, you will most likely all die a horrible death at the hand of a psychotic clone.
50. Everything will be alright.
51. Just because you return from a journey, doesn’t mean you’ll return in one piece.
52. Everything happens in Tokyo.
53. Cute stuffed animals make the best magical servants.
54. Swords longer than your height are easy to manage.
55. Attack names/chants are more important than actual skill or experience.
56. Cherry blossoms are a sign of good luck.
57. Cherry blossoms are a sign of bad luck.
58. Cherry blossoms are- sod that, if you see cherry blossoms, run.
59. Even after your heart is pierced by someone's hand, you will still have plenty of time to divulge deep dark secrets/words of wisdom/angst/last words before you actually die.
60. Show your true love not by exchanging rings, but eyes.
61. No one is really happy. They’re just hiding some dark secret.
62. Dressing someone up in cute but outlandish outfits is a sign of great love and affection.
63. The easiest way to solve a love triangle is to kill somebody.
64. Inanimate objects have feelings.
65. Eyes, especially magic ones, are in high demand.
66. Cosplay is completely normal in Tokyo.
67. Love your parents while you can.
68. The general public is oblivious to strange/supernatural/inexplicable/mysterious events/people/objects.
69. Don’t give your name to strangers.
70. Wherever you are, there is a Miyuki somewhere in the background.
71. Apparently, magic allows you to eat other people’s eyes like candy.
72. Walking between a fence and a lamp-post will send you to another time/dimension.
73. Never trust shop owners.

Yes, my rant is over. Feel free to enjoy my updates.

~UPDATES~

10/9

--Lawful Killing

I finally uploaded this!!

Just waiting for reviews now...

if there's none, I'm not uploading any more...

So dismal, so sad...

8/23/09

--Bleach & Harry Potter x-over

I'm extremely hesitant as to whether or not I should upload the fic when I only have one chapter

...If anyone bothers reading this, can anyone tell me?

I'll even put up a pole...

8/2/09

--Cellphone Scandals

Yohoi~~

I got a lotta views for this one~~

3 comments on the first day!!

x33

I'm motivated~~

Chiching!!

So wait for the next chappy~~~!!

I will write it, I swear to god!!

...Sometimes soon!!

xDD

--Saiunkoku Gakuen

Seiran and Ryuuki...

Lotsa ppl are looking for that

xDDD

Sorry~~~

I will though

Write it, I mean

Don't mean to sound so chearful~~

But I'm just incredibly happy right now~~

xDD

I will write it though~~

Hopefully, by tonight

since I'll be leaving then

Good luck

x3

--Where did we go wrong?/Maybe, just maybe

Jalex is so popular!!

Cx

With the other one, Maybe, Just Maybe

So popular!!

Wow

So yup~~

I'll write another one, I s'ppose!!

x3

6/25/09

--Saiunkoku Gakuen

Don't mean to leave you all dangling...

xDD

But it's MY SECOND MOST VIEWED STORY ON FFN~~!!

x3

I'm happy~~

And well, I want to maintain it that way

So Playing is the one you'll have to stay with until I go on...

'cause Summer school starts soon...

Ah well, you'll see my excuse in the chappy.xD

--Lil Bit of Romance

Edited it, 'cause well, basically put, it was almost as bad as At Your Service Original Version

It's better now, but it was still HELLA AWKWARD editing it

It sucks, knowing my grammar is indeed as horrible as Cali says it is...

--Kissing Lesson

Just a thought here, but should I do a sequel...?

I mean, a lotta ppl like it, right?

So...

The second one might be about Sirius/Remus instead of Sirius/James...

Yeah, you know what, I'll do it.

Look forward to it~~!!

--Cellphone Scandals

Don't hate me.

I will update.

Swear to God.

6/13/09

--At Your Service

Hey~ I'm getting more response than I thought~

x3

When I was editing it, just thought back to the horrible days when I'd blame the world for not liking my fic...

Now I go back, and almost puked at the horribleness of it.

...Nah. Don't puke easy.

...Gettin' off topic a bit, eh~?

--Saiunkoku Gakuen

Before I really update another chappy...

I'll have you know that I'm editing the previous ones.

So well, the appearance of the whole school changed...

Kouyuu became less OOC, and more well, Kouyuu-like~

But well, I really need to continue editing though.

So, I'll get back to it... sigh

xxxHolic is awesome, BTW...

6/6/09

--New Joint Account

Made by me and my friend Cali, our new joint account that will have fics that have both our ideas will be posted there. But stories of mine will still come from here. No worries~ xDDDD

Pride and Indolence

Visit our page~~!

--Cellphone Scandals:

Woohoo~! So happy 'bout the reviews~~ and then the new viewers~~~ I thank you. I really do. I'll get the next chappy up as soon as I write it. No worries. I have the idea in mind already. Give it a few hours to sprout, and me a few hours to write. Cx. It'll be on soon enough~~

--Other Unfinished Fics:

Like Bulls-eye, or other crap... I might delete them. Or well, change & edit them.

...Anyone tell me where my files were...?

Wow... now I read back on To Set Her Free...

Heh. Truth to be told, it sucked like hell.

Everything was just kinda... happening. There wasn't much... descriptions and stuff...

It's the total opposite of my writing today. xDD

Ah well, I'll try my best to edit them, and make them interesting.

Change the plots while I'm at it.

--Kissing Lessons:

Nyaha~ Apparently, pplz did read it~~

It's right behind Cellphone Scandals in my stories' popularity~~

OMG, I feel so happy for saying that~~~

x33

5/30/09

--Cellphone Scandals:

Alright! I've made up my mind! I shall continue, and post up the new chappy tonight! Yup! And muse, just know that you can't stop me!

--Saiunkoku Gakuen:

Yeah... I might permanently discontinue this fic...

No one's reading it, like I said

Or maybe... Edit it, a bit?

Meh, too much work.

--Kissing Lessons:

Anyone read my new Harry Potter ficcy~?

My muse, I do love you so very much~

And surprisingly, I actually went back and edited this time!

Well... not that much. Just a tad bit of word exchange~

--In Case Anyone's Wondering:

YAHOO~! PWNED ZE ORAL~!!

I've got witnesses~

5/25/09

--Cellphone Scandals:

I apologize to all of the readers who found this story intriguing

I will not offer some pathetic excuse of schoolwork or whatnot (but I'll be happy to do so if it gains me some pity...)

Simply put, I had completely forgotten about it for the past few... days-weeks-months

I don't think I've reached years yet...

--Saiunkoku Gakuen:

No one seems to be reading it anymore...

maybe I should just discontinue it...

I mean, really...

I'll admit it's not one of my best pieces...

so yup.

--Random Side Note:

I may upload more fanfics on Miyazaki's movies in the future

why?

because my sister watching Spirited Away a gazillion times has gotten me interested in it again

and I'm just so into angst

--Last Note:

MY ORAL REPORT'S TOMORROW!!

NO!!

WHAT SHOULD I DO?!