Name: Thiaf L. Y.

Gender: IDKWTFBBQ, :O (I am now absolutely, unequivocally refusing to state.)

Height: 5'3''

Nose: Large, but not really long, with a roundy end. It never wanders far from my face.

As of late, I've taken to reviewing semi-anonymously, and then faving with this account (or not at all...), so, er, yeah. Expect unexpected expectations untowards mine online hours. If that made sense, you need sleep.

Most of this profile is unupdated. Don't trust the info, man, don't do it:

The best fanfiction I have ever read is Stigmata, a Harry Potter fic, by InferiorBeing, which has many themes I myself have often thought of and wanted to employ in some sort of story, but I do not believe I could ever have quite so eloquently put them together -- and it is, truly, beautiful, with an ending that actually manages to rival the ending of Fingertips, another favorite of mine, which is a fic whose ending appeals to me due to personal experiences, and is a truly amazing fic.

I like transvestites. It's not that they're hot - not my type, for the most part - but they're just... awesome, somehow. I saw about 6 seconds of Rocky Horror Picture Show when I was six years old, and have thought that crossdressers, of both genders, are awesome, ever since. So if the story has properly-represented crossdressing in it, I'll probably be all rabidly-happy on you, and if it has badly-represented crossdressing in it, I'll probably try to kill you. Don't mind me; I won't actually travel across the globe to stalk/murder you. Seriously. I'm too busy with classes. Also, crossdressing plus fanfiction generally equals SAD, pathetic garbage, so. ;_; Hopefully I shall someday find moar, longer crossdressing fic that is not crap.

I read slash, het, and femslash, though I most definitely am more enthused towards femslash and will jump at the opportunity to read some that actually has a plot (recently discoved Kigo - am giddy) My favorite genres are romance and angst; I'm not much of one for death fics, as they tend to either be far too short and nigh-plotless, or they don't generally give good closure after a long fic, though I don't mind minor and semi-major character deaths in fics, and some death fics manage to not suck. Also, I rather like the Die!MinstryofMagic/GlobalJustice/Dumbledore/DaGovernment/Ect!Die!fics lately.

And with that, I return to seek out stories of such ilk.

My current life goals so far:

(1) Steal Jagger's scarf

(2) Give a rat a migraine headache

(3) Kill a living creature

(4) Kick a puppy in front of young children

(5) Defeat an alligator at tug-o'-war

(6) Have an erection lasting over 4 hours, without having a dick

(7) Topple an elephant

(8) Bully a gorilla in sign language

(9) Escape from a maximum-security childrens' preschool

(10) Urinate on the statue of George Washington at the United States Military Academy

(11) Escape from the United States Military Academy

(12) Deface a courtroom and give the judge a perm; if judge has preexisting perm, shave bald

(13) Gain Jessica Alba's bikini

(14) Give a dog a human bone

(15) Hollow out a bible and hide drugs in it

(16) Remove all magic from the world

(17) Dismantle the time-space continuum

(18) Create the first ever genetically altered tennis ball

(19) Replace all the strawberry jelly at the grocery store with thickened ketchup

(20) Crossdress as a male crossdresser crossdressing as a female crossdresser crossdressing as a male crossdresser crossdressing as...

(21) Bleach all the white and red clothes at the same time

(22) Mix Aspirin and alchohol, then set it on fire

(23) Continue to have Deoxyribonucleic Acid written on the back of hand for a very long time

(24) Steal someone's jacket

(25) Convince several people to have a protest against the most common use of Deoxyribonucleic Acid

(26) Wear a fedora

(27) Convince someone that my college-going coconut monkey is actually descended from Jesus Christ

(28) Cause a large, very loud explosion

(29) Memorize pi past 20th digit

(30) Convince my mother that I do not, in fact, have perfect pitch (I don't, fyi)

(31) Steal candy from an infant

(32) Kill an innocent bystander

(33) Remove all rainbows from the sky

(34) Squash a daisy

(35) Remove all love from the world

(36) Destroy the concept of happiness

(37) Get sued for lobbing penguins at someone

(38) Get sister to say "no" to "magenta?"

(39) Cause 200 (or more) people to lose the game simultaneously. Which reminds me -- you lose.

(40) Trample the U.S. constitution with a stampede of water buffalo. Wait, no, Cheney already did that. Sorry.

(41) Lob a sheep at an innocent bystander's head

(42) Unleash a stampeed of llamas on New York City

(43) Make a child cry

(44) Scratch that last one -- did that WAY too much when I /was/ a child. Stupid oversensitive boys. WEAK!

(45) Grow a beard (I've got the beginnings of one! Five hairs -- maybe six!)

(46) DO NOT give a dog a bone

(47) Steal marshmallows from campers

(48) Commit petty theft

(49) Destroy Los Angeles in a flood of orange Kool Aid

(50) Shoot Bush in the forehead with a water gun filled with lemon lime soda. Rotten lemon lime soda.

(51) Create rotten lemon lime soda.

(52) Enact world domination, for the sole purpose of creating a water slide better than Kim Jong the Ill's. King Kong the Ill's? Or whatever his name was.

(53) Steal Palin's flute. It can be done.

(54) Blow something up

(55) Make a pool entirely out of blue jell-o.

All of these are works in progress, but many of them will happen in the foreseeable future, hopefully. Wish me luck! If anyone has any advice on the physics issues in numbers 6, 11, 26, 30, and 51, (especially 30), I'd appreciate it! And I appologize for the overt sexuality in #28. About #38 -- inside joke, but is in fact a major challenge. Also, I consider #37, and #45, to be high-priority.

#26 is currently fulfilled! :D

#31-#40 have been added more recently. (Jan 20th 2009, to be precise - OBAMA! :O)

#41-#55 added June 3rd 2009 (THE SIMS 3 ISARRIVINGATMYHOUSETODAY! GAH!)

#45 -- Six chin hairs, maybe seven if you count the short one. We're working on it. (July 22nd, 2009)