Nickname: Lewis

Age: 19

Location: Yeah, no.

Word of the Update: befriend (v.): to use mecha-class beam weaponry to inflict grievous bodily harm on a target in the process of proving the validity of your belief system. -From a post on rpg.net via TV Tropes

Avatar note: The person in my avatar is a character I created that I may or may not write a story about. It is drawn by May and Dawn are the best.

Favorite quotes:

"Of course it's happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"-Dumbledore, in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

"The uproar woke up the Goalie!"- my HeartGold game when I was fighting a wild Hoothoot to train my Psyduck named Goalie.

"You might've heard I run with a dangerous crowd- we ain't too pretty, we ain't too proud. We might be laughing a bit too loud, oh but that never hurt no one."-Billy Joel, Only the Good Die Young

"You can look at the menu, but you can't order."-my old biology teacher's wife's policy on him checking out women

"Ah, but being an annoyance is something that I am very good at. In fact, I'm far more than just a 'mild' annoyance–people tell me I can be downright frustrating. Might as well use this talent for the cause of good, eh?"-Kelsier, in Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn: The Final Empire

"Kids…they’re a handful. Teenagers…I don’t just get them."-Max, in bengwen014's The Aftermath: Fall of the Alien Force

“It takes three seconds to say "I LOVE YOU". Three hours to explain it and a LIFE TIME to prove it...”-bengwen014, in The Aftermath: Fall of the Alien Force

"The internet is the opiate of the teenagers."-Me

“The internet is evil. Anything it does it does to annoy us.”-Me

"Being normal is boring!"-Pokelad

“Back up. Are you saying we’re just cartoon characters created by a bunch of writers in a non-canonical sequel that is never as good as the original mainly because of several elements having been changed that ruins the whole story not to mention the sappy and downright stupid romantic build-up between you and Gwen? And right now we’re being viewed by thousands of strongly influenced teens and kids worldwide who takes the whole damn thing too seriously even though we don’t exist and even go as far as creating their own stories about us just to satisfy their own personal selves on what may or may never happen? You’re crazy!”-Ben, in bengwen014's The Aftermath: Fall of the Alien Force

"It hurts when the bubble of idealism is popped by the needle of reality."-ShadowKing1988

"There are two theories on how to argue with women. Neither one works."-Unknown

"The appearance in our courts of these learned gentlemen of the law, who can make black appear white and white appear black, is forbidden."-1864 decree (and still in effect), government of Andorra

"It was so cold that a lawyer had his hands in his own pockets."-Anon.

"Around here, however, we don't look backwards very long. We keep moving forward, opening new doors and doing new things... And curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."-Walt Disney

"While I'm on the subject of Harley, what exactly IS his sexual orientation? Straight? Gay? Bi? When nature calls, does he go in the ladies' room?"-ShadowKing1988

"We are all born originals - why is it so many of us die copies?"-Edward Young

"Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway."-Anon.

"Learn all you can from the mistakes of others. You won't have time to make them all yourself."-Alfred Sheinwold

"The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at."-Murphy's Law

"The day I get a girlfriend is the day Kyogre and Groudon decide to kiss and make up.”-Josh, in Steelion's Hardened Resolve

"Now that the pack of rabid fangirls-slash-boys are busy, we can get outta here.”-Ash, in Steelion's Hardened Resolve

“Unconventional? Of course. Unsafe? Probably. Fun? Definitely.”-Ryan, in Steelion's Hardened Resolve

"Now you see that evil will always triumph, becuase good is dumb."-Dark Helmet, in Spaceballs

"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"-Soldier, in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal-food-trough wiper! I fart in your general direction, your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"-Frenchman, in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."-Book of Armaments, in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

“With friends like these, who needs stalkers?"-Usagi Komadori AKA Kitty

"You don't have to be a human to be a person."-CyphrusCross

"After all, it is the nature of men to make monsters, and it is the nature of monsters to destroy their makers."-Dr. Harlan Wade

"Now, if you'll excuse me, my subconscious mind is playing tricks on me – I need to give it a firm scolding."-EarthBorn0

"I never claim to understand anything completely"-Meir, in EarthBorn0's Destiny Bond II: Sacred Fire

“They’re just kids. You’ve handled terrorists, robberies, bomb threats, and evildoers in spandex. You can handle children.”-0, in Shot Knight's PKM Rangers: Rise of the Dark Gems

"The greatest gift is not of gold, but in art that awakens the soul."-Jack Gladstone

"I've seen knights in armor panic at the first hint of battle. And I've seen the lowliest, unarmed squire pull a spear from his own body, to defend a dying horse. Nobility is not a birthright. It's defined by one's actions."-Robin, in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

"Never forget the outlaws!"-Robin, in Robin Hood BBC

"The Devil couldn't make it. You'll have to deal with me instead."-Robin Hood, in Robin Hood BBC

"Him, I am proud to know. You, I'm stuck with."-Little John, in Robin Hood BBC

"Jack and Locke are busy worrying about Locke and Jack."-Ana Lucia, in Lost

“Well, of all the nerve. Pretending to be a noble, when you are in fact a blacksmith is one thing, but pretending to be a blacksmith pretending to be a noble is just wrong.”-Much, in I am The Lev's Nasty Little Rumors

"Is there someone else up there we could talk to?"-King Arthur, in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"Mental error 404 - brain not found"-ktd176's Artemis Fowl: Adventures in Thermite

"If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing..."-ktd176's Artemis Fowl: Adventures in Thermite

"Well, a guy who dresses up like a bat clearly has issues."-Bruce Wayne, in Batman Begins

“Jar Jar Binks reminds me of Dick Cheney.”-Shadow, in Mecha Scorpion's Sonic Insanity

“Living in a fascist theocracy, and I’m gonna get a lot of money! I’m telling you, Dick, this whole stealing-the-presidency thing is just great, I tell ya, just great! If only I could be as rich as those oil sultans over in the Middle East… might as well bomb them and steal all their oil! Why research renewable energy sources when you can kill people to get nonrenewable? Send another billion to those boys in Iraq and North Korea and Afghanistan and Iran and Sudan and-“-Bush, in Mecha Scorpion's Sonic Insanity

“I’m trying to suppress reason and evidence in support of my own opinions and beliefs! I figured it might get me into Bush’s science advisory department!”-Sonic, in Mecha Scorpion's Sonic Insanity

“Hmm... Thousands of robots on all sides, no seemingly possible way to escape, slow and painful death and/or robotizication imminent... ... Bet I can take out more robots than you, Knucklehead.”-Wario, in Super Hyper Mario 128 III's Mario and Sonic

"Some people are like slinkies...they really aren't good for anything, but they are a lot of fun to push down a flight of stairs."-Unknown

"Maturity is overrated"-Zoey, in Rave The Rich's A Confession Gone Awry

“Aww, man! Why are all the good ones always gay…or taken, or gay and taken?”-Corey, in Rave The Rich's A Confession Gone Awry

"If back in the 1700's people were named after their jobs, like Mike Carpenter was a carpenter, and Harry Smith was a blacksmith, what in the hell did John Handcock do?"-PsychoMD's Pokemon Quickies

"I think that nonexistent mythological creature just broke some of your toes."-John, in Here There Be Dragons

"The Church is often full of shit..."-me

"Skeletons or super models... who can tell the difference these days?"-PsychoMD's Pokemon Quickies

“Too many big words for you? Here, let me dumb it down. Touch her again, and I’ll beat you so bad, Michael Jackson won’t want to fuck you!”-Kidd, in Kidd by Kidd Dragon

"Toaster ovens don't use fire either, anyway (at least not when functioning correctly)."-Kaoz, on Rotom's talk page on Bulbapedia

“Sisters. You can’t live with ‘em, you can’t shoot ‘em with a plasma cannon.”-Flashbang, Straight From The Squirrel's Mouth by Diane Castle

You know you live in 2012 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12) Copy and paste this into your profile if you fell for it and I know you did

If you think Calculus is useless, and there is no point in learning it, copy and past this into your profile.

If you think modern American animated cartoons are effing stupid and pointless, copy this into your profile.

If you think school equals jail/prison, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been hit/kicked/maimed/seriously injured/etc. by a girl smaller than you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever broken a backpack/school bag because you had too much weight in it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate Microsoft, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a talent for misplacing stuff, copy and paste this into your profile if you can find it.

If you are amused/amazed by Team Rocket's persistence (Thirteen seasons of failure!), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever asked a female how much she weighs, and then regretted it a moment later, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If your fashion sense is “is it comfortable?” copy this into your profile

Gay marriage:
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... --
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it