Hello, my name is Evie (like the pokemon Eevee), I'm fifteen, I have brown hair and green eyes, I'm on the short side, I read alot and write even more (although you couldnt tell from the dismal amount of stories I've tried and failed to write) and I like to poke people. The name Tress Blues, came from two things:

The fact that at the time I signed up on here, my classmates and I were having an in depth conversation as to what the word 'tress' actually meant (trust me, our class could make ANYTHING interesting...and I mean anything...)
AND
I'd recently renewed my fascination with the Blues Brothers.

And so Tress Blues was born. Tress de la Blues came from my French classrooms.

Because no one reads these things anyway, onto the random...

T de la B

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LINKS

The Broken Doll

Sophie Miller 1 - I saw this girl on tv and immediately flipped out: ladies and gents, she's almost exactly how I picture Miss Sophie!!
Paul Beckett 1 - No words describe this kind of awesomeness
Sophie's Car 1 - I like this thing. I saw it on the street one day and took photos of the make and model, thinking: "Yes, this is the car."

Too Late For Sorry

Jenna - I always pictured Jenna like Jenny from Gossip Girl somehow, except younger...
Max - I love Max. He's one of my favourite characters...
Vee - Need I say more?
Andrew - and Vee I guess...
Chen - ...

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MY BOOKSHELF

City Of Bones, Ashes and Glass: Cassandra Clare
Twilight Saga: Stephenie Meyer
Harry Potter: J.K. Rowling
The Host: Stephenie Meyer
The Book Thief: Marcus Zusak
Pride And Prejudice: Jane Austen
Chronicles Of Narnia: C.S.Lewis
Temperance Brennan Novels: Kathy Reichs
The Pirate's Son: Geraldine McCaughrean
Graceling: Kristin Cashore
DragonKeeper: Carole Wilkinson
Maximum Ride: James Patterson
Alex Cross Novels: James Patterson
CHERUB Novels: Robert Muchamore
Artemis Fowl Series: Eoin Colier
Inheritance Cycle: Christopher Paolini

And hell, that's just on the first shelf...

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IN DIRE NEED
Because, we should all have more randomness in the world...

The List Of Things I Am
NOT
Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology".

"I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore".

If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".

I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

I am not a sloth Animagus.

I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna.

Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

I will not lick Trevor.

It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

Professor Flitwick's first name in not Yoda.

It is generally accepted that Cats and Dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be.

Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test that.

I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"

My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf."

First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.

When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.

-Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.

I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".

I will no longer wear a hood, walk up to Harry, and claim to be his real father in a raspy voice.

I will not send Professor Snape toothpaste and Shampoo for Christmas.

I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.

I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

I will not refer to Professor McGonagall as Catwoman, no matter how funny she would look in tight leather.

-Nor will I ask her if she is Catwoman in disguise.

I am to stop asking Professor Snape to Yule Ball.

Humming/singing/referring in any way to Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" around Professor Lupin is inappropriate. It's best not to bring up "Thriller", either.

Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.

"To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

-No, not even though you are a witch.

If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

I will stop sending Professor Snape forged love notes that appear to be from Professor Lupin.

I am not to sing 'We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!' when sent to the Headmaster's office'.

- I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group.

-Especially not with kazoos.

Asking Professor Snape if a house ever fell on his sister is wrong.
I cannot be a Heffalump animagus.

-So is asking him where he keeps his flying monkeys and if I could touch them.

Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.

Do not... I repeat do not sing "Baby Got Back" when Firenze walks by.

Regardless of the beautiful irony, I will not hang a tempting piñata from the Whomping Willow.

The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.

-Especially in reference to Professor Umbridge.

Every time I see a dementor, I will not go, "Ssssssssshire...Bagginsssss".

- or "The Shire/Frodo is That Way!"

Every time I see Dobby I will not say something about 'master' or 'Precioussssss'.

"Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo" is not a transfiguration spell.

Neither is "Oo ee, oo ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang"

Not allowed to dress exactly like Snape and ask him to call me "mini me."

There is no Interpretive Dance course offered at Hogwarts, and I should stop signing up for it every year.

I am no longer allowed to sing my “own personal spy music” when I wander around the hallways.

I should not remark that “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” when Snape gets angry. Ever.

If I become an animagus, I am not allowed to yell “MORPHIN’ TIME!” every time I change.

- I cannot do this whenever anyone else changes either.

Adding "-us" to the end of a word does not make it a spell.

-Neither does adding "izzle".

Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'.

Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.

Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.

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Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier Than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

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THE LESSONS LEARNED IN TWILIGHT

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.

2. The future is not set in stone.

3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.

4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.

5. True love knows no boundaries.

6. Some people are just danger magnets.

7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.

8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!

9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.

10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.

11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.

12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.

13. Family is about more than just blood.

14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.

15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.

16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.

17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.

18. There are exceptions to every rule.

19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.

20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.

21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.

22. Cold hands Warm heart.

23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.

24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.

25. Romeo was an idiot.

26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.

27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.

28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.

29. Space heaters can be very annoying.

30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

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THE TWILIGHT OATH

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlie's sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know.

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MY MOTHER'S LESSONS

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

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PRODUCT LABELS

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief!)

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AN EXCERPT FROM MR: THE FINAL WARNING

White by Max

White is the colour of little bunnies with pink noses.
White is the colour of fluffy clouds fluffing their way across the sky.
White is the colour of soft-serve ice cream in a cone.
White is the colour of angel's wings and Angel's wings.
White is the colour of brand-new ankle socks fresh out of the bag.
White is the colour of crisp sheets in shmancy hotels.
White is the colour of every last freaking, gol-danged thing you see for miles and miles if you happen to be in Antarctica trying to save the world, which now you aren't so sure you can do because you feel like if you see any more whiteness--Wonderbread, someone's underwear, teeth--you will completely and totally lose your ever-lovin' mind and wind up pushing a grocery cart full of empty cans around New York City, muttering to yourself.

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THE PAPER SCISSOR ROCK RANT

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say:

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, dumbass!

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／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Because Kittens are Going to Take Over the World Someday...

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