Somewhere, on the coast of Canada, there lives a princess, who has many admirers, and she spent all her time flitting from ball to ball, picking through all the prince charmings to find the most charming, the best looking, and the best wii player. She could eat anything she wanted, and laze around all day, and was still thin and beautiful.

Then, nearby, there lives this author, who spends all her time procrastinating, daydreaming about finding even a duke charming, or maybe just a guy with a nice smile. She frolics with her writing buddy, Maggie, eating oreos, watching movies, and walking around looking like loons. She recently chopped all her hair off. Then it looked really bad like, so she dyed it dark brown, but then the package lied! It was really black. Now it appears to be... a black pixie cut. And no, she actually didn't do her hair to look like Alice, no matter how infatuated she is with Jasper Whitlock.

She has two jobs and also goes to university full time, so when she writes, she really should be doing homework. Like right now. She's in the process of learning how to knit, and when she is finished with that, she will probably try to sing opera. Don't judge.

I have a FictionPress account, and they're not very good, but I have other's that are not up, which are better, that I should probably get around to posting.

I have a blog which is mainly more of a personal life thing (pictures of this author as well), and another blog with morbid poetry. All the people who I follow are great.

School Projects won second place in the Best All Human category in the Twilighter Awards. That makes me like, so happy. Nominate me again, dear reader?

News: I am in university now, and although that leaves very little extra time for writing, it also allows for freakishly long christmas breaks. So, from the first week of December to the first week of January, I will be writing as much as humanly possible, updating and completing as many as I can, focusing on School Projects, Encounters, and Finding Freedom, and also being a meanie and changing a few of the other stories from multi chapters, to one shots -coughthefirstnightcough-.

Once these are all completed, I will retire as a Twilighter Fanfic author, moving my focus to Harry Potter. In the completing chapters of my stories I will write this warning as well, in case some of my readers are not interested in reading Harry Potter fanfiction, and want to pull me off Author Alert. My Harry Potter fanfics will be similar in writing style, and probably mainly canon, although I'm in love with Dramione, so if I can pull it off, I'll write some stories for that paring as well.

Completed!

Change the World is kinda like a songfic, I was 'inspired' by a song by Finger Eleven, called Change the World (hence the title). It is a brilliant song, and I was reminded of Edward's pov by it. I wrote the story because I felt like it (obviously) and because I wanted to show how dependant Edward is on Bella, although she doesn't seem to realize it. It was my first posted fanfiction, and isn't that great, but it started my one-shots and it shall stay on forever :D

Ooops! was one I had been thinking about vaguely for a while. Not making it into a story, but just wondering what would happen if that actually happened. It is more my writing style, as it is comedy, so if you like that one you will probably like my others.

The Quest For the Elusive Butterfly Headband was one that I wrote a while ago, so I actually find it quite choppy. It could be better, but, alas, I just typed it up, and fixed the grammar (there are still 2 mistakes and, one day, I will fix it). It was funny in my dream, not so sure if it makes sense all written up. :P

Diva... well Diva was a love child of two things. Little kiddy shows, and a lot of sugar in various forms. I have decided I need help, as, in my head, Emmett told me to write it. My version of Emmett is A LOT different than Stephenie Meyer's, so be warned!

Burnt was really strange to write, as I had no idea what I was writing as I wrote it. I kept switching the plot around, and it kinda makes sense now. I might take it off in a while, to make room for good stories.

Never Think... Oh, gosh. Don't read this is you actually like RPattz's singing. Because I make fun of it, and some people get upset :)

In progress!

Torment is my angst practice run. I think it is quite good, possibly better than my others, but you shall be the judge. It is sad, and will not be a 'happily ever after' story. Angst is angst, so expect buckets and buckets of it.

Requirements is my first AH, and first non-oneshot! I plan for it to be quite long, so it will be a while before it is totally finished. I am a smut-lover, but this shall be quite clean! I am having some issues with motivation and stuff, so I am writing nonsense, hoping it will inspire me. So far, nothing. I will update when I get something good, because I don't want to update just for the sake of updating. Sorry! I might totally scratch the whole thing, and write it better, and newer.

The First Night is the first time Emmett met Rosalie, in AH. It is about the first, memorable, night that they met. It will be multiple chapters about that one night, and may continue through their relationship, but most likely not. It depends on what I feel about it, whether I feel it is finished, or not.

School Projects is another love child between weird food and new music. It's amazing how those things make it easier to write. The plot is slightly up in the air, but it's probably, most likely, 99.9 percent going to end with Jasper and Alice together. Unless I go all depressing again.

Not posted!

Gone Fishin', which is by Maggie, aka paper.creations, and me! It is more hilarious than any other story I've ever read (in my biased opinion)! I hope we can post the first chapter soon!

Several other 'starts' to stories, that I should organize sometime soon.

I am working on a million stories at the moment, so expect frequent new stories.

PEOPLE YOU HAVE TO READ

"Actually, I am wearing a very satisfied and menacing grin. Not giggling, because I am not happy." -- Said by Maggie Summers, my idol, and my writing buddy:)

"Maybe when you get older, you'll go insane and spend all your days in a grand illusion in which there ARE vampires and werewolves." -- Said by Kate Lewis, the greatest and craziest person I have ever met.

And of course Dimmie, the absolute cutest person in the entire world, who writes the most amazing stories.

They totally deserve your review more than I do :)

Live long and prosper.

-Jacquie Whitlock