BRING ON THE FAXNESS!! Max and Fang are perfect for each other. One is always silent, and the other talks normally. Plus, they can pretty much have a conversation just by looking at each other, AND they've been best friends since they were 8.
I'm a Sesshy/Rin fan. Not a Sesshy/Kag fan. I'm also an Inu/Kag fan.
DEATH TO KIKYO!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! SHE SHALL DIE (again) BY MY HAND!!
Like my friend Kopali, I am random as random gets. But, hey, who isn't?
Hey look! It looks fuzzy. Now I have the insane need to touch it...
I'M INSANE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Now laugh with me.
Why must I be so freakin' hyper!?
If you can relate with anything I just said, you are my friend.
Just to make things clear between us, my obsessions constantly switch between Toushiro Hitsugaya, Ulquiorra Schiffer, Ichigo Kurosaki, Byakuya Kuchiki, and Juushiro Ukitake. Did you notice that the first two and then the fourth one are completely emotionless? don't you hate the rule 'Opposite ends attract'? Well, that rule applies on those three people and me. I don't like Juushiro Ukitake like I like the rest of them, but he's still pretty cool. If you don't know who these guys are, you apparently have never watched and/or read the manga to Bleach.
And so my friend Kopali has started bragging that she is taller than the Bleach captian I have a crush on(if you wanna know, find all the captains that are shorter that 5'2" and figure it out) so what? Yippeyahee for her...
Characteristics
name: Haylee
gender: girl
age: 13(close enough)
height: about 5'2"
weight: ain't gonna happen!
hair: dark brown
eyes: stormy blue/ greyish.
style: anything that is loose and makes preps go EEEEEWWWWWWW!!(boy clothes.)
likes: animals, Sesshy, my friend Kopali, singing(even though I'm not very good at it), drawing(namely Toushiro), vampires, mutant bird kids, insanity, and randomness. RANDOM!!
dislikes: the color purple(with my entire being), Kikyo, Naraku, queer people, my brother, school, tight clothes, preps, jerks, people playing with my hair, being touched(especially my face), waking up early, SciFi movies, pineapple, and most guys.
things YOU can do to please me: review to my stories.
there is one thing I say when someone asks me out "BACK OFF BUB!" most boys usually are joking when they ask me out anyway. I can see it in their eyes when they are lying.(I'm not a lesbo!! I just think most guys are jerks)
Besides, there are only two guys I would ever want to go out with as of now. (sighs and pictures Toushiro and Sesshy without shirts on)
Top Four Favorite Anime:&:Favorite Characters
A. Bleach
1. Toushiro Hitsugaya
2. Ulquiorra Schiffer
3. Kaien Shiba
4. Byakuya Kuchiki
5. Ichigo Kurosaki
B. Inuyasha
1. Sesshomaru
2. Rin
3. Inuyasha
4. Kagome
5. Kirara
C. Code Geass
1. Lelouch
2. CC
3. Nunalie
D. Death Note
1. Light Yagami
2. Near
3. L
Pairings
Bleach:
HitsuxKarin
IchixRuki
UlquixOri
UryuuxOri
RanxGin
Inuyasha:
SesshxOlder Rin
InuxKag
SanxMir
ShipxKir(sort of if that would work)
Naruto:
NarxHina
SakxSas
ShikaxTema
GaaxSak(i guess)
Favorite Music
(These aren't in order from what I like the most to what i don't like)
1. Down with the Sickness- Disturbed
2. Walk- Pantera
3. Bad Boy- Cascada
4. If Everyone Cared- Nickelback
5. Because of You- Nickelback(NOT KELLY CLARKSON!!)
6. Flat on the Floor- Nickelback
7. Through the Fire and the Flames- Dragonforce
8. Come- Namie Amuro
9. Yesterday Don't Mean Shit- Pantera
10. Whiplash- Metallica
11. The Four Horseman- Metallica
12. Through the Never- Metallica
13. Battery- Metallica
14. Blackened- Metallica
15. I Guess You had to be there- Craig Morgan
16. Runaway- Gary Allen
17. Coming Undone- Korn
18. Freak on a Leash- Korn
19. Blind- Korn
20. D-Technolife- Bleach(I don't know the band name)
21. N.I.B.- Black Sabbath
22. One- Metallica
23. Enter Sandman- Metallica
24. Die Mother Fucker Die- Dope
25. Raining Blood- Slayer
26. Get Out of My Yard- Paul Gilbert
27. Curse of the Castle Dragon- Paul Gilbert
28. Viking Kong- Paul Gilbert
29. Technical Difficulties- Paul Gilbert
30. Jordan- Buckethead
31. Radio Song- Superbus
32. Nun Chuka Kata- Buckethead
33. Through the Never- Metallica
34. Picture to Burn- Taylor Swift
35. Our Song- Taylor Swift
36. Teardrops on My Guitar- Taylor Swift
37. Gunpowder and Lead- Miranda Lambert
38. War Nerve- Pantera
39. Her Ghost in the Fog- Cradle of Filth
40. Dragula- Rob Zombie
41. Devil Man- Rob Zombie
42. Bring Me to Life- Evanescence
43. Billy's Got His Beer Goggles On- Neal McCoy
44. Kerosene- Miranda Lambert
45. Life Ain't Always Beautiful- Gary Allan
46. I'm a Guy- Brad Paisley
47. I'm Gonna Miss Her- Brad Paisley
48. Mud on the Tires- Brad Paisley
49. Like It's a Bad Thing- Gary Allan
50. Nothin' on but the Radio- Gary Allan
51. I Need to Know- Marc Anthony
52. I'm a Bitch- Meridith Brooks
53. Pull My Chain- Toby Keith
54. Sweet- Toby Keith
55. I Wanna Talk About Me- Toby Keith
56. Concrete Angel- Martina McBride
57. This One's for the Girls- Martina McBride
58. Broken Wing- Martina McBride
59. I Love You- Martina McBride
60. Last Dollar(Fly Away)- Tim McGraw
61. Me Against the World- Simple Plan
62. Wizards in Winter- Trans- Siberian Orchestra
Favorite Books
1. Maximum Ride(all of them)
2. Twilight
3. The Lightening Theif
4. Kira- Kira
5. Bleach Manga(the comic books)
My Own Characters
Samantha Evans(Sam/Sammie)
Age: 17
Eyes: big/innocent looking, Bright blue
Hair: Dark brunette/black, elbow length
Weight: 80 lbs.
Height: 4' 9"
Facial features: small nose, black bottom lip, tear streaks coming down from eyes, thin black eyebrows, mid height cheek bones, rounded face/child like, two pieces of hair fall down and frame her face.
Personality: Don't mess with me attitude. Smiles a lot. Can be really scary when angry. Likes to dress casual(jeans, t-shirt, tennis shoes, etc.) Likes running, cheetahs, and reading. Dislikes sitting still, silence, and being called midget or circus freak. Can and WILL put you in the hospital if you mock her or annoy her.
Heiri Sutoreishi(based off of me. this is my Japanese name)
Age: 17-18
Eyes: normal size, stormy blue/greyish
Hair: Dark brown, shoulder length
Weight: 95 lbs.
Height: 5' 6"
Facial features: Medium sized nose/ turned up a little. Lips are somewhere in between thin and thick. Light freckles under eyes and over the bridge of nose. Medium sized brown eyebrows.
Personality: Tempermental. Strong right hook. Makes friends easily. Slightly masochistic. Clumsy, forgetful, loves a good challenge. Can squeal like a fangirl at any given moment.
RANDOM COPY AND PASTE THINGS!!
(I got these off of someone elses profile. Namely bella245's, I do not lay claims on these. Just to let you know, ALL of these apply to me. :))
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE, it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever tripped where there is a ‘watch your step’ sign, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.(NO, not you Ellis...)
If you think the Coco Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.
If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach, the O.C., or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't think that everything Oprah says is true and you don't watch her religiously then copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list. Sapphirepaw, hxcb, SilverwingedShadow, Meepisms, Bella, InLoveWithInsanity
If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile. (I can finish at least two. :))
If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this is your profile
If every time someone asked you about what maximum ride was about you got a crazy look from them saying am-I-really-hanging-out-with-you type of look and you don’t care copy and paste this in your profile
If you'll take first watch copy and paste this is you profile (if you don't get it READ MAXIMUM RIDE!!)
IF IGGY'S YOUR LITTLE BLIND PYRO COOKER COPY AND PASTE THIS IS YOUR PROFILE
92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.
If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile. (He's from Maximum Ride)
If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile. (See above.)
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the frick'n trix, copy and paste this into your profile. (Honestly! All he wants is a little bit of sugary cereal and/or yogurt-though the cereal is soooo much better.)
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?” copy this into your profile
IF YOU'VE EVER LEAPED DOWN THE HALLWAY OF A HOTEL AND TURNED THE CORNER AND SAW PEOPLE STARING AT YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think the semi-colon is completely useless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your pro!
If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy and paste this into your profile
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile.(Fang+Max read Maximum Ride if you are hopelessly lost)
If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.
If you are called 'weird' at least 5 times a day, post this in your profile.
If you like wearing black and acting goth, but aren't, post this in your profile.(FANG!! WOOHOO! Fake gothness is fun!)
If you have ever seen a movie (or show or song) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile. "Darkness imprisoning me, All that I see, Absolute horror, I cannot live, I cannot die, Trapped in myself, Body my holding cell!" see what I mean?
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.
Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.
(I know I've already put this, but I'm just proving a point) If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy & paste this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy & paste this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile!
If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.
If you have an iPod and love rocking out to it, post this in your profile.
If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.(That would be so cool)
If, with no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid/obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. (My brother, 24/7)
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.
If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile
If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.(So me)
If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.(BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!)
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.
If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile.
If you have over 300 novels in your room and think its odd people gawk at them, copy this to your profile.
If you read maximum ride the angel experiment in under 5 hours copy this onto your profile.
If you read maximum ride school's out forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.(24/7, exceptions are eating, sleeping, going to the bathroom, or ignoring my parents yelling at me to get off of the computer)
A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who won't say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing too, just help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this in your profile.
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's true warmth. If you find meaning in this metaphor, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you're defying gravity, and no one can pull you down, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile.(Stubborn and trying to defy the fact that you are in love with a guy/girl)
If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you still laugh re-reading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.
98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile.
98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that CAN resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization.
If you do NOT think astrology is cheesy and no good, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If random songs just pop into your head at any given moment, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad' to the Animorphs' version of the Barney Song (I hate you, you hate me, we're an alien family...), to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you find yourself making fanfictions of your life/your friends lives/random people you know's lives/random people you know of's lives, post this in your profile.
If you find yourself making fanfictions of other fanfictions in your head, post this in your profile.
If you think rainbows are wonderful, post this in your profile.
If you think Max and Fang should just get over themselves and get together already, copy and paste this into your profile. (YES YES YES!! DO IT ALREADY!!)
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.
If you dream of killing a character in a book so you can go out with their boyfriend, post this in your profile.
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy this into your profile.
If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele. (This one is hilarious)(Oh, look. I CAN spell!)
If you think the world would be easier if everyone was on fanfiction.net because--judging from the copy-paste thingys in the profiles--everyone dares to be different and doesn't care what people think, post this in your profile.
If you randomly check your email every five minutes while on the computer, copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.
If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.
If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.
: Your One and Only Wish
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Are you done?
If so, scroll down
(Don’t cheat--)
THE ANSWERS
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you
Love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are
Down.
3. If you’re initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to
Blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you
Fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but
The memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life
Changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your
Soul mate.
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time
But will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
Anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.
9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer
If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think Jacob Black should die...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name wrong...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass(the second part is true)
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all(not true)
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I only put the ones that apply to me or are pretty damn close!
Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add.
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
Until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
Right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be
Stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the
Fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those
Who got there first?
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
Will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury duty
Ok yea I have no idea what to call this little segment but I love all of these cool things after this little paragraph so yea. Some are quotes and some are not so hahahaha! W/e I told you I was weird XD
"I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer,"~Max
"For God's sake, Nudge, my ears are bleeding!"~Iggy
"Nope," I said. "We're kinda low-tech than that." Like, having Kleenex would be a huge step up for us. ~Max
'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' Gazzy barked.”
'We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?' (Max)
He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. 'She offered to cook breakfast.'" (Fang)
"'You were designed to be very smart, Max,' she told me.’We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing.' (The director)
'And yet I still can't program my DVD player,' I said." (Max)
"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous
Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...
"Everyday is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger, Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die"- Mel Brooks
"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."
- Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated
Crazy is a relative term in my family!
Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.
"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."
Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you!
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
This is on me" is what Dorothy Parker wanted on her tombstone
"The only place where success comes before work is in a dictionary." - Vidal Sassoon
"If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life." --Tommy Lasorda
No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.
My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go
"Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You
guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it..."
Hi, you know the drill.
AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.
AV is Addicted to Vampires
ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder
"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."
"An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up
Guys should be like lattes-rich, strong, and hot
I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves splashed it away. I wrote your name in my heart, and it lasted forever.
I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard
Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"
Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.
EMO kids have cool hair.
EMO=Extravagantly Made Origami
BEARS=Butt Extremely Annoying Retard Scientists
Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
Your mom looks like Voldemort (oooooh burn)
Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Why are the Force and ductape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.
Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought
Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'll die and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT!!
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.
You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.
Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.(neat metaphor)
To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.
Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.
Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set.
The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back in.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Tell the truth and run.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...
Music is love in search of word.
It's a fusion of Jazz and funk-is called 'Junk'!
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
Assassination is an extreme form of censorship
The sun has set, the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison!!
"I know everything, as I continue to remind you." -Fang
Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them
Don’t mess with me I've got a stick
He said I love you, I laughed and said sorry I'm allergic to bullshit
I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet
Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?
Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.
One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
When I say LOL I'm not laughing out laud. I just have nothing better to say.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!
Darth Vader-Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
Luke Skywalker-Nah, the rebels have cake.
Darth Vader-ooh! Can I be a rebel?!
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
Life was so simple when boys had cooties
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
Stupid shiny Volvo owner.
The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.
"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."
"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"
"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."
"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."
"Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?"
"What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy."
"A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'"
"If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side."
Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.
A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.
I'm not so good at advice. Can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?
Death is God's way of saying "You're fired."
Suicide is Human's way of saying "You can't fire me- I quit!"
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.
Unfortunately, you can't die of a broken heart.
Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.
"Accomplishments are futile. We will all be worm poop one day." -3rightsmakealeft, after she failed an Algebra test and her teacher glared at her and said 'how do you plan to accomplish anything in your life if you can't even prove a theorem?' After she answered, the teacher had to leave the room because she was laughing too hard to breathe.
"You can't always argue with all of the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they aren't paying attention." - Brom, Eragon
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." –Bill Watterson
"You know what the trouble with real life is? There's no danger music." -Jim Carrey
"He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron."
"If you know me, chances are you hate me."
"I'm the kind of person your parents warned you about."
Please Note:
CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED
Apparently, you told Santa that you have been good this year.
He died laughing.
"Why are some girls so naive? He didn't unbutton your shirt to see a better view of your heart."
"When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you"
"You don't die of a broken heart...you only wish you did"
"And the truth is; You could slit my throat; And with my one last gasping breath; I'd apologise; For Bleeding On Your Shirt!"
"Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within"
"Don't judge a book by it's cover, nor a person by thier scars"
"It's not until you're broken that you know what you're made of."
"Tired of living and scared of dying."
"It requires MORE courage to suffer than to die."
"You said that you would die for me, you must live for me too".
"To die is nothing but a long goodbye."
"This isn't just goodbye, this is I can't stand you."
"I hear your silence loud and clear."
"The past is only the future with the lights on."
"I made the cowardly lion look like the terminator." -Twilight
"The one thing worse than a boy that hates you: a boy that loves you." -The Book Thief
Andy: Oh, come on, Arthur.
Arthur: I don't want to hear it, Andy.
Andy: Jesus Christ.
Arthur: He doesn't want to hear it either.
-The Book Thief
"So much good, so much evil. Just add water." -The Book Thief
"I look like prep school Barbie. Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just one of her friends." -Nudge-MaximumRide: SOF
-Watch me hunt- Bella Swan (so adorable)
-Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect - and I didn't live to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean- (Bob Marley)
-You know you're in love when reality is finally better than your dreams- (Dr. Seuss)
-People will always talk about you. Might as well give them something to talk about- ;)
-A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left- (Marylin Monroe)
-And you can quote me on the quote, unquote- (Dane Cook)
-Love is when two people who care for each other get confused- (Bob Schneider)
-Why do we kill people who kill people to show people that killing people is wrong?-
-Strike a pose; & act like your famous-
-The hardest thing in this world is to live in it- (Buffy)
-To live is the rarest thing; most people only exist-
-It's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be real hard. And we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I wanna do that...because I want you. All of you...forever-
-Behind every untrusting girl is someone who made her that way-
-"You think I lifted a van off you?" His tone questioned my sanity- (Twilight)
When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end- (Twilight)
-But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you Bella- (Edward Cullen) -gasp&orfaint-!
-And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...What a stupid lamb. What a sick, masochistic lion- (Edward and Bella
I dazzle people?- (Edward Cullen, lol)
-Do you remember when you told me I couldn't see myself clearly? You obviously have the same blindness- (Bella Swan)
-You're wrong you know. You are worth it- (Jasper Hale Cullen)
-Cullen boys...because they don't make them like that anymore- ;)
-Bella's all about the extreme sports these days- (Alice Cullen)
-Boys in books...are just better-
-I have more fictional boyfriends than you do. Beat that!-
-Hello, my name is: GOD- haha
-I run with vampires-
-It's funny how someone can break your heart and you still love them with all the little pieces-
-Happiness. It made the whole dying thing pretty bearable- (New Moon)
-It's not about right. It's not about wrong. It's about power- (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
-She's like a woman fighting for more than life. She fights like fighting is her life. It is the air she breathes, and she knows she will win because...there is no alternative- (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
-Who really cares if you're in your house, or in a big open field? There is always something to surround you. You can pretend like you're free, but you're not. Not really. You will always be trapped. Four walls of plaster or the roundness of the encroaching atmosphere. I see no difference-
-Your mom- (Some genius)
-It's the kind of relationship where we have a secret handshake, and she begs him to watch Disney movies with her, while he begs her to watch a scary movie instead. It's where they laugh and joke all the time, but they're serious when it's time to be serious. It's where neither of them have to say 'I love you' because they know with all their hearts they love each other. It's where they can mess around on her couch, and then she'll laugh at him when he tries not to look guilty in front of her dad. It's the kind of love everyone dreams about-
-There's that one quote, 'when I'm around you the sky is a different blue'. What happens when I'm around you, and the goddamn sky is gray?-
-So here's to teenage romance, and not knowing why it hurts like hell-
-With bloodshot eyes, I'll watch you sleeping. The warmth beside me, is slowly fading- (Tears Don't Fall, by Bullet for My Valentine)
-It's sad when people you know, become people you knew...When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours, and now...you can barely even look at them-
-I miss you...alot-
-& she's so scared to get close to anyone because everyone who said they'd never leave...left-
-Beginnings are scary endings are s a d It's the middle that counts the most;; don't look too hard for happy endings because you might just miss the best part of the story-
-People hold onto something because they're afraid nothing that great will ever happen to them again-
-If you can't hear my heartbeat ;; then you're too far away-
- just because she comes off strong doesn't mean she didn't fall asleep crying & even though she acts like nothing is wrong, maybe, just maybe -- she's really good at lying -
-After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist finally said to me, "Maybe...life isn't for everyone." -
-You want a song of glory? Well I'm fucking screaming it at you- (Box Full of Sharp Objects by The Used)
-Falling in love as the best idea I ever had- (Same song as above)
Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary
"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork"
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
Don't follow me, I'm lost too
At least I don't care what those mindless people think of me
It's always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I've found it?
I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask where their going and hook up with them later
Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face?
Haha. I don't get it
So what if we act like immature idiots? We're having fun.
If at first you don't succeed skydiving isn't for you
Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them
Set sail in a genaral that way direction
Music is my boyfriend
Poke me. I dare you.
This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.
Docters say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.
I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.
When life gives you lemons make apple juice and then laugh when people try to figure out what the hell you did.
When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.
It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.
Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some priminal areas.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.
I'm here because heaven wouldn't take me and hell was afraid i'd take over.
I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?
Whenever you feel pissed off at someone walk a mile in there shoes, that way your a mile from them and you have their shoes. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Did you know Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity.
Have seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it.
Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball makes a big hole in paper.
The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read in school about the wars that solved America's problems?
364 days of the years kids are told not to take candy from strangers, but on Halloween it's encouraged! Why is that?
Boys are like trees- they take 50 years to grow up.
How are the force and duct tape the same?- They both have light and dark sides and hold the universe together.
The difference between friends and best friends
F: Never asks for food or drink
BF: Is the reason your fridge is empty
F:Bail you out of jail
BF: In the next cell saying "Damn we messed up, again!"
F:Only knows a few things about you.
BF: Is writing a embarassing biography you don't know about as we speak.
F:Knocks on the door.
BF:Comes in saying "I'm Hoooooome"
if you can raed tihs,cnorgadulations! You are one or the sarmt peploe who dno't need to look at the wrod idnivalually, but as a wolhe! Olny samrt peploe can raed tihs bceuase tehy are good raedres! Msot good raedres can raed a wrod wehn the frist and lsat letres are the smae and terhe are the smae auomnt of letres in a wrod!
25 reasons i owe my mother
1) My mother taught me to apprieciate a good job done (If your going to kill each other go outside, I just cleaned up)
2)My mother taught me Religion (You better pray that comes out of the carpet)
3)My mother taught me about time travel (If you dont straighten up, I'lll knock you into next week)
4)My mother taught me logic (Because I said so, thats why)
5)My mother taught me more logic ( If you fall out of that swing and break your neck you can't come to the store with me)
6)My mother taught me foresight (Make sure you wear clean underwear in case your in an accident.)
7)My mother taught me irony (keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about)
8)My mother taught me about the science of osmosis (shut your mouth and eat your supper)
9)My mother taught me about the weather (that room of yours looks like a tornado went through it)
10)My mother taught me about contortionism (Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck)
11)My mother taught me about stamina (You will sit there until all that spinach is gone)
12)My mother taught me about hypocrisy (I i've told you once, i've told you a million times, don't exaggerate)
13)My mother taught me about the circle of life (I brought you into this world and I can take you out)
14)My mother taught me about behavior modification (stop acting like your father)
15)My mother taught me about envy (there are millions of children in the world who don't have great parents like you do)
16)My mother taught me about anticipation (Just wait until we get home)
17)My mother taught me medical science (If you don't stop crossing your eyes their going to freeze that way)
18)My mother taught me about recieving (Your going to get it when we get home)
19)My mother taught me about Esp (put your sweater on, don't you think I know when your cold)
20)My mother taught me about humor (when that lawnmower cuts off your toes don't come crying to me)
21)My mother taught me genetics (Your just like your father)
22)My mother taught me how to grow up (If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up)
23)My mother taught me about my roots (Shut the door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?)
24)My mother taught me about wisdom( when you get to be my age you'll understand)
25)and my favorite: My mother taught me about justice (One day you'll have kids and I hope they're just like you)
So effin funny!!:
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.
(hilarious, wasn't it?) I can't help acting retarded, it runs in the family.
Oh, I have a photographic memory... It just hasn't developed yet
I live in my own little world... But it's ok - they know me there.
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree
98 of teenagers do drugs and drink alcohol...Put this in your profile if you like bagels.
Don't waste your time on a man / woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
(Post this on your profile if you hate racism.)
I have a name, an age, a gender and a religion,
I read novels in class, does that make me a slacker or a nerd?
I have crappy grades, but I've got street smarts, does that mean I'm stupid or that I always know what to do?
I don't have many friends, does that mean I'm anti-social or just shy?
I haven't been to church in 3 years, does that mean I'm a bad Christian or that i just can't find the time?
I don't cry, does that mean I'm cold-hearted, or that I can take what you throw at me?
I care about the planet, but I wake up early to get a ride to school, does that mean I'm conscience of my ecological footprint or that I want give my kids a messed up earth?
I don't care about little things, but I get worked up about things matter, does that mean I don't care about everything, or I'm a spaz?
I'm a girl who's a tomboy, does that mean I'm girly or boy-ish?
I'm not always dolled up with makeup, but I do send time getting dressed, does that mean I don't care how I look, or I obsess with how I look?
I can talk non-stop, and I can listen to you forever, does that mean I can't shut up, or I never talk?
I swear, and I can have a damn good conversation with someone, does that mean I swear in every sentence, or that I talk like a textbook?
I'm not one sided, I have pros and cons,
I wear black, does that mean I'm goth, or I like dark colors?
But I can see where you can get confused about who I really am.
Cuz I'm both.
I don't like dogs, but I have an undying obsession with wolves. What's up with that?
I think whales are weird, but I love dolphins. There is something wrong with this statement.
I hate lying, but I love sarcasm. Is there a difference?
I can run really fast, but only for short distances. Does that make me part cheetah?
I feel like I hate my brother, but I laugh at his stupidity. What does this mean?
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it ,Sn1ck3rD00dl3, Harajuku Girl, Amaterasu Haruno, Luna.the.betrayed.ninja, ProfessorZoom,jimu, ShikallllTema, InLoveWithInsanity
98 percent of teenagers smoke or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.
“Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.” Anonymous
“Forget what you want. Remember what you deserve.” - Anonymous
“They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they rarely agreed on anything. They fought all the time and they challenged each other every day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common: they were crazy about each other.” - Anonymous
If you have no life, enjoy anime too much, and people tell you you have no life, put this in your profile
If you think squirrels steal your pencils, pens, and paper on a daily basis, put this in your profile
Me: What, and suck all the spontaneity out of being young and stupid? I'd rather live in the dark.
Ellis: You're not gonna be young forever.
Me: Yes, but I'll always be stupid.
-Turn on some MUSIC so we can DANCE like RETARDS and SING like we're on CRACK-
-Old enough to know better. Too young to care-
I'm a nitpick when it comes to grammar and spelling.
- I despise chat-speak or any form of internet/cellphone language that consists of abbreviations such as 'Lol' or 'ttyl'.
- Do not contradict me
- I am snappy.
- Change anything that bothers you, if you can't change it, then change your attitude. I am one of the said things you can not change.
- Writing is my passion and I can't live without it
- I get lost in my imagination a lot
- I write down my dreams
- I'm often starring into mid air, or not paying attention. Please excuse that.
- I'm a very shy person by nature, preferring to shut myself in my room and just work.
- I enjoy drawing and sketching
- I JUST got a tablet and I'm REALLY excited
- I make most of the artwork that comes with the stories
- I have over 10 photo editing and computer graphic programs on my computer, and I use them all
- I love to doodle
- I LOVE listening to music
- I like to write songs and poems
- I like to write my own pieces
- I like singing though I'm not very good
- Hehe! I ADORE cute stuffs!
- I have LOADS of stuffed animals
- Cutesy stuff makes me squeal
- I can make anything fluffy
- I usually help with the cute/romance scenes
- Not sane
- Chocolate = addiction
- Rampages are daily exercises, nothing more
- Can't control myself from lots of stuff
- Drugs are gross. They make me sick
How to Tell if You're a Writer
-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English 101
(I got these from ILikeToDie)
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying
There are easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance
"Sanity is overrated" -Einstein
Blend in with the shadows that way you see everyone but no one sees you. It's lonely that way but...at least you don't get hurt
Curiosity didn't kill the cat... Curiosity made the kittens
I'm sure someone cares that you’re alive... it just isn't me
Don’t show anyone on the other side of the door that you’re quietly falling apart
Love rhymes with secrets
Live every day like it's your last
How simple it was said... Yet how complicated was the emotion
You know you've lost it when you keep writing the wrong date on your paper and don't realize it until the last class of the day
"It’s irrational, it’s impossible, it’s against my religion" -Miroku
If stars had voices, they would be laughing at me
Let’s just assume that I’ll never find love or have a family and my career will go nowhere. That way I won’t be so disappointed when it happens. Let’s expect everyone’s death so we won’t be surprised. Let’s just forget about dreams, because reality never, ever lives up to what you want
If there is someone that exists to hurt you, there will always be someone that exists to heal you
I'll make a pin cushion outta him!
I know way too many really beautiful girls who think they don't look good... It hurts... because it's our fault, guys I mean. We make girls feel like they have to be perfect. You know what I mean, flat stomach, big boobs, round booty, long legs, sexy lips, and on top of all that, they have to dress like a whore, and be one as well... nobody can measure up to that... and its not fair... because nobody should have to. The little imperfections are what make people special. If everyone was perfect the world would be so boring, variety is what makes life interesting. So guys, stop making girls have to live up to your, I'm sorry, our... deluded fantasy visions of perfection. Stop acting like boys and start being men... realize that women don't exist to fulfill our sexual desires. Stop talking to them solely to get with them, be nice to them because you want to be their friend, not because you want to hook up with them. Say nice things about them not to flatter them in hopes that you'll get some, but because you know they like to hear them. In short... we need to grow up and stop acting like freakin retarded little boys! (I'm not a guy, but i still understand what this one is getting at. I have an 18 year old brother.)
I'm not afraid of the dark, what's in the dark should be afraid of me!
Boy and Girls can never just be friends, love always interferes
Doing stupid things is my way of making my life interesting
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye
College is about three things: homework, fun, and sleep...but you can only choose two
I am not young enough to know everything
Yeaa! Let’s catch the bus to...the STONEAGE
As long as at least one person loves me I'll be happy
If violence isn't the right answer then you're asking the wrong questions
Lost and confused, will you be the one to save me, or shall I be cursed for all eternity?
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs rpsoet it. (i put this in here twice on purpose)
I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school.
It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMT s stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"
--IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS--(I'm not a lesbian, but these just prove a VERY good point)
Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.
Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll.
Wait for the guy who'll be ur best friend, the person who'll drop everything to be with you at any time of the day no matter what, the guy who makes you smile like no other guy can and when he looks at you.. you know he needs you, the guy who thinks your beautiful even when your hairs a mess and you have no make-up on, the guy who will stay awake just 2 watch you sleep, the one who will call you just to hear your voice, but most of all wait for the guy who'll put you at the center of his universe, cuz obviously he'll be at the center of yours
It was just you and me. Just two friends, and then with a simple look, my hand fell into yours
Boy: Looks like we're in the same biology class
Girl: This is Chemistry
Boy: So you feel it too?
The hardest thing in life is letting go of something you thought was real
They say there's a reason, they say time will heal, but neither time nor reason can change the way I feel. No one known how many times I've broken down and cried, yet through it all everyone thinks I'm fine
You never know how many times someone has cried for you, how many times they wanted to say 'i love you' or how many times they wanted things to be perfect between you
She has him falling head over heels and I can't even make him stumble
Regrets always come one step too late
Why is it that our greatest strength is also our greatest weakness?
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.
Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.
You call it madness, but I call it love.
You're infected. Call the quarantine department
I can't kill you over the phone line with a few hundred kilometers of ocean between us
You know Fruits Basket Fan fiction? Don't ever go there!
It's called Alt + F4!
YEAR OF THE RICEBALL! (Seriously don't ask not even I know)
I love you, you love me, Barney gave me HIV, It began with a hug, but turned into something more, I got raped by a dinosaur!
Yes, don't see it, the cheese, CHEESE!
From experience, when you tell me it's dogey, it's DODGEY!
What the deep fried donkey crap! (Deep fried crap from a donkey, not crap from a deep fried donkey just to clarify!)
I won't ask what your doing :phones police:
Krad + Ponytail = One WTF!
The chipmunks in my head told me to do it!
Hmm...Probably, or his superior shampoo skills (talking about InuYasha in this one and next)
I want to know what shampoo he uses!
These guys were going around chucking mushroom spores up into the air and saying 'Have some cocaine, courtesy of Maple Story!' Everyone was hitting F6 or F7! I picked some up and sold it, go me! (Talking about Maple Story here)
That sounds so weird in the real world!
Are you thinking what I think your thinking?
I have a type first get grossed out later policy!
I like my steak so rare that when you poke it, it still says moo!
I got lost in thought...it was unfamiliar territory.
Noogie, noogie
Everyone here is obsessed with making their skirts so low they might as well be wearing a real, thick, frilly belt!
Why do we like manga so much? Oh yeah. It's funny, it's pretty, it's easy to read and the characters are so random! (Yep that sums it up for me)
The intro is a bit long but it's pretty once he starts singing. I want to gouge out his voice box.
I want my last words to be 'Oh bugger'(it has to do with Pirates of the Carribean)
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
some friends one
evening
and time passed quickly as each shared
their
various experiences of the past year.
She ended up staying longer than
planned,
and
had to walk home alone. She wasn't
afraid
because it was a small town and she lived
only
a
few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm
trees,
Diane asked God to keep her safe from
harm
and
danger.
When she reached the alley, which was a
short
cut to her house, she decided to take it.
However, halfway down the alley she
noticed
a
man standing at the end as though he
were
waiting
for her.
She became uneasy and began to pray,
asking
for
God's protection.
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
and
security wrapped round her, she felt as
though
someone was walking with her.
When she reached the end of the alley,
she
walked right past the man and arrived
home
safely.
The following day, she read in the
newspaper
that
a young girl had been raped in the same
alley
just
twenty minutes after she had been there.
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
the
fact
that it could have been her, she began to
weep.
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
help
this
young woman, she decided to go to the
police
station.
She felt she could recognize the man, so
she
told
them her story.
The police asked her if she would be
willing to
look
at a lineup to see if she could identify
him.
She agreed and immediately pointed out
the
man
she had seen in the alley the night
before.
When the man was told he had been
identified,
he
immediately broke down and confessed.
The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
and
asked if there was anything they could do
for
her.
She asked if they would ask the man one
question.
Diane was curious as to why he had not
attacked
her.
When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
She
had
two tall men walking on either side of
her."
Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
you're
never alone. Did you know that 98 of
teenagers
will not stand up for God?
If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.
IF YOU HAVE BEEN ON YOUTUBE FOR MORE THAN 5 HOURS PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile
If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.
If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.
If you have siblings that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile.
If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have broke out in tears for no reason, and then laughed while still crying copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
If you've ever asked yourself why your younger or older sibling was born into your family copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever hate someone with a firey passion and wished they were tourtured in some horrific way, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you plan to not loose your virginity until you are married, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...copy this into your profile.
if ur family wonders how u can remember all the naruto character's names, copy and paste this into ur profile
if u like shikatema better than shikaino, copy and paste this into ur profile
92 of teens have moved onto rap, if ur part of the 8 that stayed with rock, copy and paste this into ur profile
if u love naruto so much that u wish the characters were real or that u are one of them, copy and paste this into ur profile
A True Boyfriend:When she walks away from you mad
Follow her When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong When she ignore's you
Give her your attention When she pull's away
Pull her back When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind When she's scared
Protect her When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a nightWhen she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh When she doesnt answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does When she misses you
she's hurting inside When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it - Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.
Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend."
Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do"
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
When Life gives you lemons squirt them in Life's eyes!!
A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain a best friend takes your and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"
A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"
"But…the…you…I…insane!"-Bella
If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.
If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, danceswithwings119, gottaluvtwilight, fantasyfan7, InLoveWithInsanity,
if you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile
(¸•´( ¸•´(
)¸•´ )¸•´)
~pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.
If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you becasue of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile. (are you reading this profile?!)
I read New Moon and Eclipse, and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
When I am at Hogwarts I WILL: ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling
at Hogwarts I WILL: sing "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Head master's office
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind
You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future
A hug is a great gift. One size fits all. It can be given for any occasion and it is easy to exchange.
Ugliness is better than beauty. It lasts longer and in the end, gravity will get us all.-Johnny Depp
Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time? - Billy Connolly.
"When life throws you lemons... make some hot chocolate and leave everyone wondering how you did it." -Anonymous
(or) "When life throws you lemons, throw something harder back!" -Anonymous
"I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes." -Anonymous
"I’m not clumsy…the floor just hates me." -Anonymous
"You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor." - Anonymous
" A word to the wise is unnessasary, a word to the stupid is whats needed." -Bill Cosby
"The grass is always greeners on the other side, dosent it make you wonder what fertilizer they are using?"- Anonymous
"Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans." -John Lennon
"Hard work never hurt anybody, but why take the chance?" -Edgar Bergen
Random people at random times do random things with random minds... C&P if you think this applies to you.
When we win it's called a battle, but when the others win it's called a massacre. C&P if you think this way of thinking is wrong.
If you will watch any show where the characters have spiky hair and big eyes without complaint, C&P. (Shiro-Chan!!)
"I bet you hatched another 'brillant' plan in that hungry little brain of yours. So... who or what do we have to shake down, knock out, or blow up?"-Jak
"Shoot first, then shoot the person asking questions later."-Kleiver
"Why should I come back if at least four of you in this group have tried to kill me? While one successed."-Jack Sparrow
Some Guy: You're mad.
Jack Sparrow: Thank god. If I weren't, this would never work.
Greed: Who are you?
Izumi Curtis: Pissed off
Daxter: Oh yeah, the boys are back in town.
Jak: Lets go topside and see what kind of trouble we can get into.
Axel: You can't turn on the organization. If you get on their badside,they'll destroy you.
Roxas: No one would miss me.
Axel: That's not true... I would.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
Some people are alive because it's illegal to kill them
Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
Stress: The condition brought on by overriding the body's desire to kick someone's ass
It's only funny until someone gets hurt, then it hilarious!
(your friend falls and sprains their ankle)(you laugh)
Friend: this isn't funny!!
You: you're right... it's hilarious!!
If you think saucepans would make good ninja weapons, copy & paste this to your profile.
If you would love to lock Naruto and Sasuke in a room with deadly explosives and see what happens, copy & paste this to your profile.
If at random moments, you tack "un" on the end of your sentences, copy and paste this to your porfile.
If you don't do drugs (They are nasty), copy/paste this into your profile.
If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.
If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you think that i'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever considered making friends with the walls in your room copy this to your profile.
If you ever had a weird random dream about killing a celebrity copy this to your profile.
If you dream about Bleach and Naruto a lot copy this to your profile.
If you have ever considered murdering someone and actually found yourself plotting their demise copy this to your profile.
If you are a Akatsuki wannabe copy this to your profile.
If you have a crush on an anime character that not many people pay attention to copy this to your profile. (Toushiro!! WOOOOO!!)
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want to see Sakura end up dead at the end of the Naruto series, COPY THIS.
If you are over the age of 12 and still watch nickelodeon, cartoon network, disney channel ect., and are proud of it, copy this into your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you are a fangirl of Gaara, Shino, Tobi, Riku, or Zuko, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have hit and/or bitten someone for no reason, copy this to your profile.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE!!...copy this to your profile...
... () () (\_/)
... (0.0) (0.o)
...c( _ ) c(")(")
Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies.)
If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile. lI understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why isn't notebook paper constantly suffocating students while they take notes in class? I'll tell you why: because paper can't beat anybody; a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to beat me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shittttt!! LOLOL
Interesting labels...
On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping. (that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos!
..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On T-Rat (Military food):
Its not for Human Consumption, Animals and Military Use only... (Umnn yeah... isn't military also human)
The musical genius of FreeCreditReport.com
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Well I married my dream girl
I married my dream girl
But she didn't tell me that her credit was bad
So now instead of living in a pleasant suburb
We're living in the basement at her mom and dad's
No we can't get a loan for a respectable home
All because my girl defaulted on some old credit card
If we'd gone to free credit report dot com
I'd be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard
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They say a man should always dress for the job he wants
So why am I dressed up like a pirate in the resturaunt?
It's all because some hacker stole my identity
Now I'm in here every evening serving chowder and iced tea
Shoulda gone to free credit report dot com (yee-hah!)
I coulda seen this comin' at me like an atom bomb
They monitor your credit and send you email alerts
So you don't end up sellin' fish to tourists in t-shirts
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Well I was shoppin' for a new car, which one's me?
A cool convertable or an SUV?
Too bad I didn't know my credit was whack
Cuz now I'm drivin' off the lot in a used sub-compact
F-R-E-E that spells free
Credit report dot com, baby
Saw their ads on my TV
Thought about goin' but was too lazy
Now insteada lookin fly and rollin' phat
My legs are stickin' to the vinyll and my pose's gettin' laughed at
F-R-E-E that spells free
Credit report dot com, baby
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I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.
I hate stereotypes...
When life throws me lemons, I go to her and yell until she promises to leave me the hell alone.
A friend stands up for you, a good friend threatens to cut off your legs if you don't stand up for yourself.
SMALL BUT DEADLY!
A friend wants to make you smile, a best friend knows to stay as far away as possible from you when you're smiling.
A friend will help you move, a best friend will help you move your ass off the sofa so they can watch their game.
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