FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| Ratava100d |
Author has written 1 story for Fruits Basket. 10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale 10. Beg him not to eat you. 9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen. 8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry. 7. Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him Jaspar Cullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must have gone to his brain. 6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away. 5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood. 4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts. 3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”. 2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction. And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale? 1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style. 10 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen 10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to “jump for it”. 9. Tell her if she was just a few centimetres shorter she could legally be a midget. 8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can. 7. Tie her up in a straightjacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin. 6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan “I’m melting.” 5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic. 4. When she gets a vision, ask if her “spidey senses” are tingling. 3. Trip her up and ask if she saw it coming. 2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes. And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen? 1. Email her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines. 10 Ways to Annoy Bella Swan 10. Ask about Mike. 9. Ask about Eric. 8. Ask about Jacob. 7. Ask about Edward. 6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys. 5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun. 4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy. 3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes. 2. Tell her we all know about the real reason she married Edward – the honeymoon. And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan? 1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Videotape the reaction. 10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen 10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent. 9. Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent. 8. Ask if blondes really do have more fun. 7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER. 6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France. 5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”. 4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death? 3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water. 2. Call him McSteamy or McDreamy. And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen? 1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!” 10 Ways to Annoy Charlie Swan 10. Tell him Bella’s pregnant – but you’re having trouble figuring out who the father is… Bella’s unsure whether it’s Edward, Carlisle, Jacob or Mike. 9. Ask him what Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo means in the phonetic alphabet. 8. Decorate his handcuffs with pink lace and flowers the call the station requesting to speak with Chief Swan Princess. 7. Whenever he is around, narrate all that is happening into the invisible walkie-talkie that’s strapped to your shoulder, speaking only in cop talk. 6. Take his gun and use it in a bank holdup – it will have his fingerprints all over it. When he is being questioned about it, sing Bad Boys by Inner Circle and I Shot the Sheriff by Bob Marley in the background. 5. Take his cop car and start a high speed car chase with it. 4. Send him a tape of Edward sneaking into Bella’s room at night, and Bella hitting on Edward. 3. File a report at the station against Edward Cullen – be sure to state in the report that Edward is over a century old, making his relationship with Bella Swan paedophilia. 2. Plant weed on Edward the next time he visits the Swan residence – then when he is being locked up, tell Charlie a strip search may be necessary. And the Number One way to annoy Charlie Swan? 1. Replace his ammo with silver bullets then tell him that Jacob raped Bella. When Charlie goes to “have a talk” with Jacob, make sure he has his gun with him. 10 Ways to Annoy Emmett Cullen 10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist. 9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth. 8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship. 7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake. 6. Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in. 5. Inquires as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male. 4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed. 3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that Jeep. 2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles.. And the Number One way to annoy Emmett Cullen? 1. When he denies the above two claims, respond with “That’s not what Rosalie saaaaaid!” 10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen 10. Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses. 9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc. 8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel? 7. Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse. Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor. Dreamy” 6. Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or paedophile. 5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramel milkshake. 4. Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction. 3. Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off. 2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman. And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen? 1. Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail. 10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black 10. Never use English around him – instead, bark. 9. Call him a space heater. 8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners. 7. Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet. 6. Inform him that real men sparkle. 5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage. 4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesn’t find him hot. 3. Inquire as to how Leah is… and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella. 2. Ask him if he likes to do things… doggy style. And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black? 1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human. 10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale 10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment. 9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face. 8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.” 7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great. 6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.” 5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways. 4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face. 3. Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face. 2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her. And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale? 1. Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell you did it, say that she reminds you of Roxanne. A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it?Repost this if you truly believe in God. can you read this> > >>> > >> This is weird, but interesting!> > >>> > >> If you I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I don't want a BOYFRIEND, so I MUST be a lesbien. Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add. Bold the ones that describe you. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism Team Taylor! WOO! He Rocks! Team Jacob! WOO! He Rocks Too! Team Jasper! WOO! He Rocks! Team Edward! WOO! He Rocks! Team Robert! WOO! He Rocks! A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry. A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you. A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in. A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!" A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore. A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial. A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story. A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries. 92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you want to be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off. Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile. Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you are against abortion, post this in your profile. (get a friend to paste too, if you almost cried) AS A FORMER FETUS, I AM OPPOSED TO ABORTION!! REMEMBER WHEN ... Getting -H I G H-meant swinging at the playground? YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... -You talk to yourself a lot. -You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?') -After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...' -You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!) -You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth. -You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. -When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. -No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. -The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. -People think you have A.D.D. -You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. -You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. -You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason -Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG! I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. (¸•´( ¸•´( ~pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals and don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916 Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843 Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901 Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916 Edward Cullen: Hotter and Spicier Than You since 1901 Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun! Select my name and press ALT + F4 One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject Guys should be like lattes - rich, strong, and hot It's a matter of life after death - now that he's dead, I have a life Friends will always be like "Well, you deserve better." Best friends will be prank calling him in the middle of the night, saying "You will die in seven days." Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up. EMO kids have cool hair. EMO=Extravagantly Made Origami You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. You're intoxicated by my very presence Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God! I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator! Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. I ran with scissors, and lived! You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder I'm the kind person of who will burst out laughing in the middle of dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both. When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. I don't obsess! I think intensely. All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenager gals (why won't this site let me show slrig? (flip that word), we're really going at one thing, staying strong. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off! Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile. If you're a perfectionist and it gets you in trouble more times than humans have created a number for, copy this into your profile. If you get pissed and throw a fit until all the people in the room run away whenever someone says that the characters of Twilight aren't real, copy this into your profile. Confusion is a term for the stupid. I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it. Can I have your phone number; I seem to have lost mine If you can’t appreciate the divine hotness of Jacob Black, please leave the vicinity. There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door... If at first you dont succeed, skydiving isn't for you Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor Everyone has a wild side- me and my friends just prefer to make them public I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have! It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it? Everything here is edible. I'm edible, but that my children, is called cannibalism, and is frowned upon in most societies. Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips. Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again. Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants. I know she's socially retarded and weird, but she's my FRIEND... Best Friends: They say they're hard to find and that's cause the best are already mine. Okay, so... there's this thing called retard-ness and me and my girls, well...we've gone pro. Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing. When people don't laugh at our jokes, I don't think of it as a "you had to be there" thing but more as a "you have to be mentally retarded like us" thing. Best friends know that you're slow, stupid, and like to mess around them yet they still don't care about being seen with you in public because they're idiots, too. If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile If you truely believe, there is an Jacob Black somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Jacob Black), copy this into your profile If you think the semi-colon is completely useless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your pro! If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. -I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?! -If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. -Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. -Guns don’t kill people. Bullets kill people. -You can shatter my heart but I will love you with all the little pieces. -Trying is the first step toward failure If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit? Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them? if you blow in a dogs face he'll get mad at you, but take him for a car ride, and the first thing he does is stick his head out the window! if two wrongs dont make a right, try three apparently 1 in 5 people are chinese, there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mum or dad. or my older brother colin. or my younger brother ho-chan-chu. but i think it's colin. borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back! if olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from? if quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be good to 'quit while your ahead?' whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it? how is it possible to have a civil war? if a fork were made of gold would it still be called silver ware? Can you make a candle out of your earwax? When French people swear do they say pardon my English? Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first? If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later? Can a fire truck park in the fire lane? "Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute? Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time? Are marbles made of marble? Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup? If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived) Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"? Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? Can you get cornered in a round room? Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there? Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends? If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible? Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet? In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she? How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone? Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat? Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse? Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate? Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy cable? "Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?" Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’? Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?? Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom? Can mute people burp? What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn? Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with? How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play? If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold? Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside? Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars? Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue? Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin? Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back? Why does shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind? Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown? Why can't you get a tan on your palms? If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June? Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something? Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it? You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit? Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down? Why is a square meal served on round plates? Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1? Which way does a compass point in space? Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked? Why do all superheroes wear spandex? If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes? Why did Mary own a little lamb? If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money? If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man? If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do? Why are Pringles curved? What happens if your snot freezes in your nose? Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are? If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops? Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be “under par” in any thing else? Is Jerry Garcia grateful to be dead? Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it? Can bald men get lice?? If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is not even funny anymore, copy this into your profile. Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. Copy and paste this into your profile if you tried singing both songs in your head simultaniously, and you got a headache because of that. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you laugh about how you laugh. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, .missy.skye., BlissfulyShadowingEdwardCullen., Eternity in Bliss, Freesia Like Heroin, Ratava100d. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer If you have ever been poked and made a noise resembling that of a constipated animal, copy and paste this into your profile. Tater tots taste good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you would jump under a speeding train for a date with Jacob Black, copy this into your profile. This is a really cute, true poem. Girls 15 Things to do when you’re in a shop! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here! 15. Grab alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!" A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off. If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile. I want a guy who I can run to with Running down my face and the first thing he says to me is... Wait for the guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. wait for the guy who kisses you on the forehead, who wants to show you off to all of his friends even when you're in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the for the one who is constantly reminding you how much he cares for you and how lucky he is to have you, wait for the one who turns to his guys and says "thats her" A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who won't say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing to, just help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this in your profile. FAMILY... Forget About Me I Love You! Losing is hard... ... ... ...Losing your "What is a friend? Someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you forget the words." "It is not bigotry to be certain we are right; but it is bigotry to be unable to imagine how we might possibly have gone wrong." "He who hesitates is lost." "The future depends on what we do in the present." "Do not follow where the path might lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." "The real leader has no need to lead- he is content to point the way." "Where there is no vision, the people perish." "Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity." "Along with success comes a reputation for wisdom." "The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook." "A wise man learns from the mistakes of others. A fool learns from his own." "Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all." "Most of the shadows of life are caused by us standing in the way of our own sunshine." "After the game, the king and pawn go into the same box." "A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds." "If you don't know where you're going, you'll end up someplace else." "What you dislike in another, take care to correct in yourself." "We only learn in two ways- by reading, and by association with smarter people." "Take calculated risks. That is quite different than being rash." "The only way of finding the limits of the possible, is by passing them and venturing into the impossible." "Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action." "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." "You have enemies? Good. That means you stood up for something at some point in your life." "It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness." "We always strive after what is forbidden, and desire the things refused us." "Every generation laughs at the old fashions, yet religiously follow the new." "Nothing can bring you peace but yourself." "We don't live in a world of reality. We live in a world of perceptions." "It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you don't stop." "Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it." "Ask yourself this question: Will this matter in a year from now?" "Present fears are less than horrible imaginings." "It is the trouble that never comes that causes loss of sleep." "You will never 'find' time for anything. If you want time, you must make it." "A man who dares waste one hour has not discovered the value of life." "Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions." "Obstacles are great incentives." "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves." "The destiny of man is in his own soul." "Be silent, or say something better than silence." "Many can argue, not many can converse." "Hear the meaning within the word." "Arguing with a fool proves there are two." "The more you say, the less people remember." "He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat." "Failure teaches success." "It is good to learn what to avoid by studying the misfortunes of others." I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace,or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with alot of things, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Bearhug946, EdwardCullenEqualsLife, Stephanie Deux,Randomenated-Cullen!, sweetcrimefighter, Moonchild707, Ratava100d If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments, copy and paste this in you're profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile. If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile. If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile. If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile YOUR GUY SIDE: You love hoodies. TOTAL: 11 YOUR GIRL SIDE: X You wear lip gloss/chapstick. TOTAL: 12 "We do not write because we want to, we write because we have to." "Everyone thinks they can be a writer. Most people don't understand what's involved. The real writers persevere. The ones that don't either don't have enough fortitude and they probably wouldn't succeed anyway, or they fall in love with the glamour of writing as opposed to the writing of writing." "The worst thing that being an artist (writer/painter/musician) could do to you, would be that it would make you slightly unhappy constantly." "It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous." "Writing is the hardest work in the world. I have been a bricklayer and a truck driver, and I tell you – as if you haven't been told a million times already – that writing is harder. Lonelier. And nobler and more enriching." "Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards." "The quality which makes man want to write and be read is essentially a desire for self-exposure and masochism. Like one of those guys who has a compulsion to take his thing out and show it on the street." "A blank piece of paper is God's way of telling us how hard it to be God." "Writing is so difficult that I feel that writers, having had their hell on earth, will escape all punishment hereafter." "Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." “We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.” "If somebody says no to you, or if you get cut, Michael Jordan was cut his first year, but he came back and he was the best ever. That is what you have to have. The attitude that I'm going to show everybody, I'm going to work hard to get better and better." I can't decide between JASPER WHITLOCK HALE and JACOB BLACK. I LOVE them both. I can't decide between TAYLOR LAUTNER or ROBERT PATTINSON. I LOVE them both. Maybe Taylor more but i still like Robert. I used to hate him before. In Twilight we became alive If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! If you wish more people were like your friends on fanfic, copy and paste this onto your profile If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you know what a lemon fly is(for those who dont, it is a mythicle lemon with wings. ha! now you know!!) If you have a problem with counsoulors, copy and paste!! If you've ever misspelled your own fanfic screenname, copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you think the semi-colon is completely usless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your profile! If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur profile! If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy and paste this into your profile If you horrible at taking direction... copy and paste to your profile... If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile. If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile. if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile if you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you love watching rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile. If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you becasue of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you have run into a glass door while trying to get to the back yard, place this into your profile, cuz copy and paste doesn't work! If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! (wooooo!) If you like Sharpies, penguins, cookies, close friends, MSN, AIM, and/or the internet, copy this to your profile. If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile if you've ever walked into a wall b4 copy this into your profile AV is Addicted to Vampires ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder If you copy and pasted this onto your profile because you just felt like it, copy and paste this onto your profile a second time. If you feel lazy, and don't want to copy and paste this onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile anyway. If you think I write ridiculous copy-and-paste-thingies, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you refuse to copy and paste anything onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you got tricked by that last copy and paste thing, and your not ashamed, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you wish you had a emo hamster, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you wish you had an albino rat, just so you could say, "Hey, I've got an albino rat!", copy and paste this onto your profile. If you believe that anyone that hits you with a ball in dodgeball should be sued of all of their dignity, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you're fricken crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you copy and pasted this onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If your an idiot, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you read the copy and paste thingies, copy and paste this onto you profile. if you just found out that these copy and paste things don't paste on your profile, TYPE it on your profile! If you think fang is hot, copy and paste this on your profile If you or your best friend is Insane, Copy and paste this onto your profile. If you borrowed a book and still need to give it back to your friend, copy and paste this on your profile If you ever forget your name while introducing yourself, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever burst out singing in the middle of class, please put this on your profile!(so i can feel normal) If you know the answer to life, the universe, and everything, copy and paste this to your profile. If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this to your profile. If you copy and paste so much that you have duplicates on your profile, copy and paste this to your profile. If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you copy and paste so much that you often have to stop and think about whether or not you've already copy and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever had a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are against drunk driving please copy this onto your profile! If you think child abuse is wrong and needs to stop, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. If you are anti-social sometimes post this on your profile. (It's this writing and reading stuff, its not my fault!) Friendship Quotes 1.) To the world you may just be one person. But to one person you may be the world. 2.) Many people will walk in and out of your life but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart. 3.) Friendship created in a moment can last longer than a lifetime. 5.) Friendship is the only true cement that will ever hold your life together. 4.) A single rose can be my garden...a single friend, my world. 6.) Finding a friend is like finding treasure only better. 7.) What is a best friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. 8.) Tell me your friends and i'll tell you who you are. 9.) The only way to have a friend is to be one. 10.) A true friend thinks of you when all others are thinking of themselves. 11.) A true friend takes away your burden instead of sharing it. 12.) Some people make the world more special just by being in it. 13.) Friends are like chocolate, they lift you up when your sad and are always there when you need them. 14.) If you have one true friend you have more than you share. 15.) Friendship bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things..friendship never ends. 16.) A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. 17.) A joy shared a joy doubled. 18.) When they are real, friendships are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know. 19.) Friendship is love with understanding. 20.) Nothing is worth more than friendship. 21.) Friendship is love without the fire. 22.) A friend is someone who understands you past, believes in your future and accepts you today just the way you are. LIfe Lessons 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. What a guy means, when he says some stuff- “Oh, don’t fuss, I just cut myself, it’s not big deal.” "It would take too long to " A conversation between a girl and her boyfriend: Girl: Do you like me? Boy: no Girl: Do you think I'm pretty Boy: no Girl: which would you chose me or your life? Boy: my life Girl: If I were to walk away would you cry? Boy: no Girl: I heard enough as she turns to walk away her boyfriend grabs her and says: I don't like you, I love you. You're not pretty, you're beautiful. I would chose my life because you ARE my life and if you would walk away I wouldn't cry. I would DIE! Twilight Oath- You Might Have a Twilight Obsession if you . . you check the twilightlexiconblog every time you log on to a computer. you learn that the twilght movie is filming 45.5 miles away from your house and it takes all you have not to go watch. you check stephanie meyer's website/ twilight lexicon everyday to check information. you squeal every time you see a silver Volvo, even if it's not your favorite car you cringe whenever you hear/see Edward's or Bella's name and it has nothing to do with Stephenie Meyer. you've ceased to believe that vampires actually have fangs or any weakness. And you believe all vampires must be inherently hot. you're counting down the minutes until Breaking Dawn comes out. a love song comes on and you immediately think of Edward and Bella. you carry the books with you. the name Edward becomes your new favorite guy name. you try to compare a lot of things to the book. you start imagining scenes from the books in your head before you go to bed. you literally stopped breathing while watching clips from the movie. 35 Things to do when your in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go" 16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one. 17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price. 18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs. 19. Start a fish-stick fight. 20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended. 21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!" 22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf. 23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner." 24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store. 25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines. 26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section. 27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..." 28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk". (this works best if you love Twilight, and don't try with Maximum Ride) 29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught. 30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket. 31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs. 32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts. 33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back. 34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section. 35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid 9 Things I Hate About Everyone: 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their butts! 5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor. 6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, it can't be new. 8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie? FUNNY THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR 1.When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. 2.Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 3.Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones. 4.Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on. 5.Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?" 6.Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 7.Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator. 8.Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment. 9.Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play. 10.Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 11.Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. 12.Ask, "Did you feel that?" 13.Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. 14.When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!" 15.Swat at flies that don't exist. 16.Tell people that you can see their aura. 17.Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it. 18.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!" 19.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 20.Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 21.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 22.Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. 23.Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope. 24.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 25.Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 26.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space!" I Love my Dad: At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came You Know You're a Book Addict If: You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. You write fanfictions about the book. (teehehe) You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it. You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. (I did that. Oops.) Everything reminds you of the book. You quote random lines all the time. You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (like, um, magic powers, or taking a Fangish vow of silence, or trying to break Nudge's talking record) You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class (e.g. flip a desk over then fly out the window, turn into a wolf and maul someone, turn invisible and 'haunt' the school then laugh as the FBI freaks out, light your book on fire and cackle demonically...) You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod. You've got a book memorized. You've read a book more than five times. You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days. You've planned and perepared a seige on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional (e.g. Too bad Edward Cullen is fictional) You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. You check your back every morning in the mirror to see if you've sprouted wings and can join the flock. You test your hand in sunlight to check and see if you're still (unfortunately) human. You've closed your eyes and tried to morph into a wolf. You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character Your idol is a character from a book What a Boyfriend SHOULD do: When she walks away from you mad, follow her If someone comes up to you and goes “Hey, what’s up?” you should say “The sky, clouds and birds”. You bully or talk about someone badly because they’re smart and one day, they’ll be your boss. Man fears what he does not understand. Girls Are Like Phones; They Like To Be Held And Talked To But If You Push The Wrong Button You Get D.I.S.C.O.N.N.E.C.T.E.D Hunni If Your Gonna Be Two-Faced At Least Make One Pretty Come To The Dark Side-We Have Candy It's True That We Don't Know What We Have Until We Lose It, But It's Also True That We've Don't Know What We've Been Missing Until It's Arrived There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid People You Laugh Because I'm Weird, I Laugh Because You Just Figured It Out. Energizer Bunny Arrested, Charged With Battery If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain If You Die In An Elevator Make Sure To Press The "Up" Button Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet! Education is important, school however, is another matter. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? Don’t mess with me I've got a stick. I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends (Sadly, I've never been normal...) If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.(I usually lose) If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this into your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile. (Fraternal twin...freaky!) If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile. If you think I am an absolute obsessed geek because I have the above, copy this and the above into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile. If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile. If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels. You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile. If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you LOVE LOVE LOVE vampires copy and paste this into your profile 92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe.If you're part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off, copy and paste this into your profile. Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy and paste this into your profile if you are one of the few people who would answer "where to begin?" If you've ever wondered what you're like in another demension, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquitoe bites copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever acidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this into your profile. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile. If you're a perfectionist and it gets you in trouble more times than humans have created a number for, copy this into your profile. If you're planning to form a mob to attack Stephenie's publisher because you want Midnight Sun now, copy this into your profile. if you think that the Cookie Crisp wolf should stop coping the Trix Rabbit and needs to get his own life, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile. If you know someone(many people) who should be run over by a bus and/ or train, copy and paste this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome. If you agree, put this on your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. If you almost always have a song stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever read/started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile. 98 percent of the population has a myspace. If you're one of the 2 percent that isn't an emo , copy and paste this in your profile If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK!!) If you have more than one of most of the copy and paste its, copy and past this If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If they are right...copy and paste this into your profile If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. 92 percent of American teenagers would die if American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile. I am always scared that the people I love or that I will die. I am always scared that when i kiss my parents, brother or sisters and friends good bye, That that will be the last kiss I will be able to give them. Everytime I see someone leave, I'm afraid that I will never see them again. I don't think I'm really afraid of death. I believe that what I really are afraid of is that I may never see the one's I love again. That I won't see my nephew grow up, that I won't see my sister get married and have children. that I never will se my loving and caring parents, my mother and father that I love so much. That I will never get married and have children, and that is something i really want to do in my life. I saw this text and it says almost everything you need to say to the one's you love. Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends. Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you! A girl only need 3 things: love to make her weak, alcohol to make her strong, and friends to help her up when the first 2 make her hit the ground. We're not sarcastic-we're hilarious We're not annoying-we're just cooler than you We're not bitches-we just don't like you We're not obsessed-we're just best friends Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. Life was so simple when boys had cooties. All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both. No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you. Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later. Your mom looks like Voldemort It's ok to be ugly, just ask your mom. I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. Don’t mess with me. I've got a stick One Day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. I smile because I have no idea what's going on! Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to. Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone. People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door. Tell the truth and run. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. I don't obsess! I think intensely. I put the FUN in DisFUNctional It's all fun and games until someone get hurt...then its hilarious. I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard. I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. I dream of a better tomorrow--when chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned. When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. My imaginary friend thinks you have seriouse problems... You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me! I dont have a short attention span, i just...oh look, a kitty! I live in my own little world, but it's ok, everyone knows me here I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again. I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous. I ran with scissors, and lived! Never go to bed angry, stay up and plot your revenge. My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit. (Carlisle!!) A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Education is important, school however, is another matter. Parents spend the first part of our lives telling us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse? Has anyone else ever wondered how Alcoholics Anonymous stays Anonymous? 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that? Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it? You're a 90's kid if: You can finish this 'ice ice _' . . . Furbies You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet. TWILIGHT SUPERLATIVES; best crooked smile; Edward Cullen Most likely to trip on her/his feet; Bella Swan Best smile male; Jacob Black Best smile Female; Esme Cullen Most annoying male; Mike Newton Most annoying female; Jessica Stanley Stupid fake bitch; Lauren Cutest Male Cutie; Seth Clearwater Cutest female Cutie; Renesmee Carlie Cullen Most wanted Best friend; Alice Cullen Sexy Male Vampire; Jasper Whitlock-Hale Sexy Female Vampire; Rosalie Hale Most likely to squish someone; Emmett Cullen Best hair; Victoria Sweetest doctor; Carlisle Cullen People who should just be together; Renee and Charlie Funny kids; WOLF PACK! This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. | |||||||
1. Forgetting The Sohmas » reviewsWhat will happen if Tohru gets amnesia and can’t remember anything from after she started living in a tent.Fruits Basket - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,112 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 6-8-08 - Published: 4-20-08
United Kingdom