HI, I guess you came upon my profile because you read one of my stories and decided you would like to know more about the strange person who wrote something like that, or I reviewed one of yours and we started an interesting discussion. Or just read my pen-name and thought you'd like to know why I chose it (or maybe you wanted it for yourself?). Either way, you're very much welcome to look around. Hope you enjoy the stay! =)

In case you wonder, there is reason behind my pen-name. 'Religion0' means that I have no religion, hence the '0', though I myself mean I could have a religion if I could find one convincing enough, hence the 'religion'; most seems too craving of me, too stupid, or outright smarty-pansy-like. I do believe there is some sort of deity, I just haven't heard of any way of worship that made any sense to me. I don't care about religion, as long as I'm not getting hit by a dead fish because of it. And no else has ever used it on the websites I've wanted an account on...

Avatar: Is me and my two youngest cousins. They're so cute! XD

Gender: Female.

Age: I'm fifteen and, when I'm not acting childish for one reason or another, I'm quite more mature that most people my age. -_-' Sadly...

Location: I live in Denmark. And yes, or no, it is a country. A very small one, but still... it's stuck on Germany... literally.

Polls: Answers to poll "How do you write?"

1: Make a plan of sorts, but mainly just let the words flow: 31 >> 61 percent.

2: Just write as it goes with no plane whatsoever: 15 >> 30 percent.

3: Plans everything, write notes, and reread chapter a few times before posting it: 3 >> 6 percent.

4: I make fun and changes events I saw in a game or read in a book: 1 >> 2 percent.

The current poll will be closed when I get my new computer, which should be by the end of this or the beginning of next month, vote while you can. ;

Advise Seven words: "Characters and Viewpoints" by Orson Scott Card. It's a seriously great book on writing which will be a great help to practically everyone. Ignore the title, it's merely a guise. Most people, both readers and authors alike, could gain a lot from this. The readers will learn to recognize exactly what's wrong with a book they already thought bad.

Lastly: I'm always ready to participate in any kind of discussion, even if it's mainly a rant on your part. If there's something weighing heavily on your chest (or not so heavily) send me a message telling of your dilemma, and I will give my honest opinion. Or just read it and give a response of whatever kind I feel is appropriate, if you would prefer that. It doesn't matter whether I know you or not, or even if don't know much about the topic.
You decide the topic, I give my honest answer.

Some things that have nothing to do with anything:

Think you know your cat/dog? Well, why don't you take a look in their diaries?

If you get a headache when it's raining, or very cloudy, you are sensitive to the pressure in the air... It hurts...

The tilley hat is the coolest hat in the world!

My family is freaking huge! I stopped trying to explain it to others because they wouldn't get it for long anyway.

I have often read a really good story of one category by an author, only to see that that's the only one for that category they've writen (I doubt anyone thinks that much of me, but it's just so annoying), so here I will write how many of each category I have written:

David Eddings: 1. (One-shot collection.)

Tales of Symphonia: 7. (3 one-shot collections, 2 one-shots, 4 stories.)

Mercedes Lackey: 2. (One-shot collection, story on hiatus.)

Green Rider: 1. (One-shot collection.)

Zelda: 4. (3 one-shot collections, 1 one-shot.)

Okami: 2. (One-shot, one-shot collection.)

Avatar: 1. (One-shot.)

Bleach: 6. (One-shots.)

D. Gray-Man: 2. (One-shots.)

Pandora Hearts: 2. (One-shot, one-shot collection.)

I would love to get challenged to write something, whether it be a pairing I have never written before (or don't support), a genre, a theme, a new category, a mix, or something I have not mentioned. Actually, I'll rephrase that to six words: I challenge you to challenge me! Believe me or not, it will be much appreciated.

And when I say one-shot I mean one-shot! Not: Might turn into a story, but currently not sure... or: Can't think of anything else to write currently. I mean one-shot. As in: There will be no more chapters after this, and this is as much story as you're going to get!

Please, check in on my YouTube account and watch some of my videos. http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=Religion0&p=r

And here's the link to my DeviantArt profile: http://religion0.deviantart.com/ All right, I can't draw very well! But I've got a great collection of favourites, if I say so myself.

My FictionPress account, http://www.fictionpress.com/u/626388/. Will you please read them, at least? I really need to know if people like my writing, as it is probably the only things that keeps me sane... Or something resembling it.

And here are the quotes and sayings I like so far (I'm always open for inputs. Always! Even if it's something you were the first to say):

1: Elbert Hubbard: An ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.

2: Mithos (Tales of Symphonia): Farewell my shadow, you who stands at the end of the path I chose not to follow. I wanted my own world, so I don't regret my choice, I would do all over again. I will continue to choose this path.

3: Presea (Tales of Symphonia): You blame people for their birth and upbringing, things they cannot change, it is you who are not human.

4: Thomas Szasz: The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.

5: Kratos (Tales of Symphonia): Do not speak ill of the dead!

6: Lloyd (Tales of Symphonia): There's a significance in being born.

7: Dr. Suess: Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

8: Unknown: Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

9: Kratos (Tales of Symphonia): Feel the pain of those inferior beings as you burn in hell.

10: Agatha Christie: One is left with the horrible feeling now that war settles nothing; that to win a war is as disastrous as to lose one

11: Me: Is it weird of me, to have been raised differently than you, and that it is so deep in my mind that I can't do anything about it?

12: Me: Shut up and listen! You don't learn anything without learning patience first.

13: Me: Emotion is the deepest, damn basic humanity.

14: My brother: Krobi, dont water me! I'm not a flower!

15: HoldOnToYourTunaCans: People might call you stupid if your wallet WASN'T in the last place you looked.

16: HoldOnToYourTunaCans: You might be a writer when: (1) You find yourself in the dead of night with a pencil in your hand and you don't know how it got there (2) You wake up at three in the morning to scribble down a story you thought of in your sleep (3) You find yourself still sitting at your computer at four in the morning and notice you've been writing for the better part of six hours (4) You find yourself editing and revising your emails (5) If you don't think of a story in over a week you wonder if something is wrong with you

17: Norris (Twilight Reckoning): Wisdom is not knowing, but understanding.

18: Unknown: I've been waiting in the dark for a long time, shining my beacon of hope through the shadow. If you see me, don't you hide your eyes from me.

19: Me: All authors are just a tad insane, though not all are geniuses... Or any good at writing at all.

20: Yvaine (Stardust): You have a Babylon candle?- Tristan: Yes, I have a bubbling candle.

21: Edgar Allan Poe: I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

22: Misty (Slip of the Tongue): I don’t care if you are Dialga or Palkia or Mew or Pikachu or whatever you are but I'm using this sorry excuse for a trainer.

23: Me: The meaning of life is to get through without too much harm, eh? I'd say it was already too late. There's no way you can live a third of a life without getting hurt at least once, so once it has occurred, you might as well straighten up and get stronger from the blows fate sends in your direction. If you don't, then you just show you're as afraid of life as of a wolf with its teeth in your throat.

24: Chala (GrandKid): ...Doing good delivers pain...doing nothing destroys meaning... (What? It's beautiful!)

25: HoldOnToYourTunaCans: Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that bastard upside the head.

26: Me: The world is not made to make sense, humans simply try to see something that does not exist for the sake of their poor minds.

27: Pearl Buck: There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love, but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.

28: Kratos: Not knowing is not a crime, remaining complacent in your ignorance and feeling no shame is. (If that isn't true, I'm going to steal a car before I die.)

29: freakyanimegal: Popularity is for cookie cutter mindless drones!

30: Chala (GrandKid): This time, I'll send you into the inferno of hell... - Cheresea: How come YOU got to say the cool line?

31: Lyude (Baten Kaitos): You may call me what you like, but I stand only for justice.

32: Me: I want wings! - my brother: Why? - me: I want to fly. - Brother: Okay, stupid question…

33: Me: I’m both and yet neither of them! - Brother: Look, she can say cheesy lines.

34: Me: COKKLEDOOODLEDDUUUUUUU!! - Brother: We can agree on that!

35: Paul Beaty: If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

36: Savyna (Baten Kaitos): You only asked for my name, not who I was.

37: Kalas (Baten Kaitos): O mighty blade, turn teardrops to terror and wreck havoc…

38: Me and Brother: Get ready to meet your maker! The brand new TV-show! (Does it get much more silly?)

39: Me: Pity my insanity! - Brother: (Laughs to Starwars theme.) - me: I said pity it, not laugh at it! (Me: Don‘t pity it.)

40: Unknown: Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. (Just a tad ironic that I don't know who said it, isn't it?)

41: Eric Hoffer: The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares not whether there is a god or not.

42: Trethe (GrandKid): Maybe the purest angels are those without wings.

43: Madeleine L'Engle: When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable.

44: Me (on a bad day): My heart is bleeding and my mind is screaming, how come no one sees? How come no one hears? How come no one feels?

45: Kurik (The Diamond Throne): Watch your mouth, Talen! - Talen: I can’t, Kurik. My nose gets in the way.

46: Unknown: Sometimes we build walls not to block out people but to see who cares enough to knock them down.

47: Mithos: Humans are... so arrogant.

48: Unknown: Welcome to my world. Now go home.

49: Unknown: Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

50: Shining Ducky: 'Cause Mithos is cute and cuddly and fluffy and rainbowy and awesome and shinyful. And evil. But that's a minor detail.

51: Me: Sweet Marduk...

52: Sparhawk (The Sapphire Rose): My fault? Thanks.

53: Sparhawk: Do you want to do this?- Kalten: And lose this opportunity to sit back and carp and criticize? Don’t be silly.

54: Talen (Domes of Fire): I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look another bowl of chicken soup in the face again.

55: Ehlana (Domes of Fire): Write down ‘happy as pigs in mud,’ Lenda. I may want to work that into some official communication.

56: Danae (Domes of Fire): I’m not sure. Pay attention, Father. Somebody’s going to tell you something important tonight. Now go find my cat.

57: Me: There's nothing more fun than entering a room saying: 'I'm bringing in the computer, what do you want to listen to? 'Islandica' or 'Lord of the Dance'? (Try it and you'll see.)

58: Khalad (Domes of Fire): That's just a myth, Sparhawk. If you want a smart animal, get yourself a pig. I've never yet been able to build a pen that a pig couldn't think his way out of. - Sparhawk: They're built a little close to the ground for riding. Let's go see how breakfast's coming.

59: Unknown: You all laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same!

60: Setras (The Hidden City): I didn't, old boy. Actually, they opened it for me. - Heldin: Why would they do that? Setras: I knocked, dear boy. I knocked. Even creatures like that have some manners. Shall we be going, then?

61: Unknown: No, you don't know what it's like when nothing feels all right. You don't know what it's like to be like me...

62: Me: Again, I know that pants are very, very strange, but... - Brother: Don't worry about it. I don't get it either. - Me: Put some on.

63: Me: Come join the dark side! We've got cookies. - Brother: And ketchup! - Mother: Cookies and ketchup, what a delicious mix.

64: Zachary (First Rider's Call): Karigan, as much as I'm enjoying this, I can't breathe.

65: Unknown: I’d much rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I’m not.

67: Unknown: True beauty shines from the soul and warms the world with its kindness, compassion, and integrity.

68: Elizabeth Kubler-Ross: People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.

69: Unknown: You never lose until you quit trying.

70: Jean-Jacques Rousseau: If I am not better, at least I am different.

71: Father: Pull your stomach in, straighten your back, shut up and look pretty. - Me: I was doing just that before you interrupted!

72: Unknown: Politics comes from the Latin word Poly, which means many, and the word Ticks, which are blood sucking parasites.

73: Jeff Allen:Teenagers are God's revenge on mankind. God looked down one day and said, 'Let's see how they'd like to create someone in their own image who denies their existence.'

74: Me: Dad, you sound like a teenage girl with menstruation. - Dad: A teenage girl with menstruation and a moustache. - Stepmother: Then she's bound to be miffed!

75: Asai Ryoi: Living only for the moment, turning our full attention to the pleasures of the moon, sun, the cherry blossoms and the maple leaves... this is what we call the floating world (ukiyo-e).

76: Herb Caen: The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.

77: Unknown: Cigarettes are killers that travel in packs.

78: Me: Oh great, I'm talking to myself again. I wonder if that's really a bad thing?

79: Gildor of House Inglorion: Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.

80: Unknown: Home is where the heart is.

81: My mother: The fridge has its back to you.

82: Cetchum (The High King's Tomb): Thank ye, sir. Good speed to ye. - Karigan: You're welcome. Ma'am.

83: My sister: You're a mac in a PC world; fully functioning computer, just a different design. (She was talking about asperger syndrom... among a lot of other things...)

84: Me: Oh, beautiful sorrow! How I despise thee, yet I cannot help but wish that thou will never leave me. I know that if thou should go, thou would find another to be with, and my heart would be empty and my life without meaning. Oh, beautiful sorrow, I beg thee to stay, and pray to the stars that thou will. Yet I ask the Gods to take thee from my life. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-ohgIpLSI8&playnext=5&playnext_from=QL)

85: Albert Einstein: Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.

86: Found on the side of smoothie bottle: Raspberries and blackberries? We know them well, like brothers. Their annoying habits, their drumming on the table in meetings - we've got it all under control. They're family. But boysenberries? What's a boysenberry, anyway?Who said they could join the gang? They'd better have some smart moves or they're not going to cut it around here. Are you listening, boysenberry? Remember what happened to Fredo. Shape up or ship-shippity out. Capisce? (I hate having to press shift all the time...)

87: Kristin Kreuk: It's not that easy to find someone I can relate too. I'm tough to crack because I'm shy.

88: Unknown: Don't judge a book by its cover.

89: Unknown: Its better to have someone think your an idiot, than to open your mouth and prove it.

90: Unknown: I'm not strange, I'm gifted.

91: Unknown: Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

92: Alice Walker: Deliver me from writers who say the way they live doesn't matter. I'm not sure a bad person can write a good book. If art doesn't make us better, then what on earth is it for?

93: Doctor Who: There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.

94: Unknown: To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

95: Unknown: What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?

96: Unknown: The best things in life can't be seen, that's why we close our eyes when we cry, kiss and dream.

97: Me: Freaky is cool and cool is freaky! That's awesome! Ow, strangeness.

98: Me: No doubt, no fear, just practice and a heart filled with love for fiction! Such a cheesy thing to say...

99: Bernice Johnson Reagon: Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.

100: Horo the Wise (Spice and Wolf): You have good judgement if you can see the greatness of my tail.

101: Unknown: If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them. I'd be at the bottom to catch them.

102: Kuchiki Byakuya (Bleach): Arrogance destroys the footholds of victory

103: Kikyo (InuYasha): Well Well, I see you're back from the dead Naraku...and gaudier than ever.

104: Kanda: We're 'destroyers' not 'saviors'. - Allen Walker: Kanda... Even so, I still want to be a destroyer who can save others.

105: Tyki Mikk (D. Gray-Man): What I love, I destroy. I love humans!

106: Lenalee Lee (D. Gray-Man): When you close your eyes and think of the World, what do you see?

107: Lavi (D. Gray-Man): Why did you hit me? - Bookman: I didn't hit you, I kicked you

108: General Cross Marian (D. Gray-Man): One shot is for all you did to everyone here... And all the rest are because you messed up my clothing.

109: Buddha: If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.

110: Dag Hammarskjöld: Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.

111: Rodrigo Biscoletti (Dragon Quest V: The Hand of the Heavenly Bride): As sure as pasta's pasta, I am! Like I said, I like you!

112: Priest (Dragon Quest V: The Hand of the Heavenly Bride): To love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall be resurrected from death in the church?

113: Rodrigo Biscoletti: I like you! You're solid. As solid as a stale panini! (...Ew?)

114: Kellen Tavadon (The Outstretched Shadow): I will rise... But I refuse to shine.

115: Dave Barry: You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'

116: Janet (/Link/): You have love to give and fancy a cute four-legged companion, but soon you will find the man in your life. (I'm not sure why or how, but this really hit home within me... I'm grateful for that.)

117: Albert Einstein: How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?

118: Blaise Pascal: The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of.

119: C.S. Lewis: Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone.

120: Regal Bryant (Tales of Symphonia): You manifest your will in the words you speak, and that holds power.

121: Neil Gaiman: Writers are liars my dear, surely you know that by now?

122: G.K. Chesterton: Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.

123: Me: I'm not saying animals are people too, I'm saying humans are animals too!

124: Me: Animals are like children, and nothing is worth more than the life of a child. (This, and the one above, is part of one of the most ridiculous conversations I've ever had...)

125: Riza Hawkeye (Fullmetal Alchemist): Why is he naked? - Jean Havoc: That logic is completely screwed up...

126: Saber (Fate/Stay Night): I feel that there is an unexplainable reason for me to be angry.

127: Hawkeye: Major, I'd just like to offer a bit of... feminine advice. BABIES AREN'T BORN AFTER JUST FIVE MONTHS!

128: Izumi Curtis (Fullmetal Alchemist): You helped bring a new life into this world, and that's an invaluable experience. - Edward Elric: Naw... we just ran around, screaming our heads off, thinking she was gonna die.

129: Barry the Chopper/Number 66 (Fullmetal Alchemist): Is that so!? What do you mean "is that so"!? People get terrified when they find out a serial killer comes back from the dead! And, an empty suit of armor moving on its own! You should be saying "Ahh!!" or, "AHH!!" or, "Wait- he doesn't have a body! What's wrong with your body?!" - (Al removes his helmet) -AHH! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR BODY!? - Alphonse Elric: Take it easy, you're going to hurt MY feelings.

130: Barry the Chopper: I like strong women. - Hawkeye: Don't change the subject! - Barry: I think I'm in love!! - Hawkeye: ...Huh? -Barry: Aw, c'mon, sweetie! Let me chop you up! - Hawkeye: Hell no! - Barry: Then how about the guy that's coming here? - Hawkeye: Not a chance!

131: Hawkeye: Relax, sir, I just saved your life. Your flame attack's no good in the rain.

132: Mustang: Damn it! I still don't see why I have to tag along on their stupid midnight ghost hunt! -Hawkeye: Because they admire you more than you realize.Mustang: What good is admiration from other men?

133: Edward: Let's go. This whole castle's about to explode. - Alphonse: Why!? - Edward: 'Cuz I don't like it, I made some adjustments to the steam tanks.

134: Edward: Faster Al! AAAHHH! Give me your head! - Alphonse: HEY! WILL YOU STOP?! GIVE THAT BACK!! - Edward: STOP COMPLAINING, WOULD YA?! I GOTTA GET THE WATER OUT!!

135: Mustang: How stubborn. You must follow your orders no matter what. - Hawkeye I am proud of my pigheadedness.

136: Edward: It won't work, Lieutenant! Bullets don't hurt them! - Hawkeye: Not again! They don't work on anything these days...

137: Roy: Takes you back, doesn't it, Lieutenant? I can still see the tears running down your cheeks... Such pure tears... If only I could see them again. - Riza: I thought you hated water? It makes your abilities useless!

138: W. Somerset Maugham: A woman can forgive a man for the harm he does her...but she can never forgive him for the sacrifices he makes on her account

139: Jane Rubietta: Someone may have stolen your dream when it was young and fresh and you were innocent. Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible.

140: Unknown: Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.

141: Ethel Barrymore: You grow up the day you have your first real laugh- at yourself.

142: Linda Knight: The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses in your cheeks and in your soul.

143: John Steinbeck: I have seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that dogs think humans are nuts.

144:

145:

Pairings I support (Just so you are aware that those are the ones that will occur in my stories (and my favourites...)):

Tales of Symphonia:

SheenaxZelos.

ColettexLloyd.

RainexYuan.

KratosxAnna.

GenisxPresea.

YuanxMartel

Zelda:

ZeldaxLink.

EponaxGanondorf's horse.

NavixTael. (I made it up (and I actually can say that), of course I support it. The short is 'Tavi', doesn't it sound cute?)

MedlixKomali

Baten Kaitos:

XelhaxKalas.

GibarixSavyna. (I've barely played the game through once, and thought that they'd fit together.)

CoreliaxLadekahn. (... I wonder too...)

Green Rider:

KariganxZachary. (There is no way this can't be argued against any longer.)

TeganxGarth. (Dunno where this came from, but you must admit that there is... something about it.)

AltonxDale.

AmberhillxEstora.

FergalxMel. (This... just seemed plain cute.)

Bleach:

RukiaxIchigo.

GinxRangiku.

ShunsuixNanao.

UryuuxOrihime.

ByakuyaxHisana.

KisukexYoruichi.

ToshiroxKarin.

UkitakexUnohana.

D. Gray-Man:

AllenxLenalee.

LavixChomesuke.

LavixOC. (Only CanonxOC pairing I'll ever support...)

CrossxCloud.

Pandora Hearts:

AlicexOz.

POLLUTION SUCKS!

If you think that pollution, deforestation, killing off species and ozone depletion FREAKING SUCK and that your government needs to get it's act together and start helping clean it up, paste this to your profile. Promise that you will recycle, use environment friendly items and do your best to keep the planet healthy. It's our world, people, we've only got one!

PROTECT THE PLANET!

ATTENTION: CHILD ABUSE IS VERY, VERY REAL. IF YOU ARE 100 AGAINST CHILD ABUSE AND WANT TO HELP STOP IT, COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR PROFILE!

Just because we eat animals for food doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc. copy this into your profile! Did you know that to get the fur, they club, drown, and anal eletrocute the poor animals. And why are they so cruel? Because they don't want to ruin the furs!

About 160,440 people die of lung cancer each year. About 85 percent of those people are smokers. Copy and paste in your profile if you think smoking should be made illegal.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you (in chains).

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying: "DAMN! We messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down any more.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... (and just might.)

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Girl, drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years.No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN! . When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

Till we talk next, live well and be healthy
Religion0.