I HAVE A PLOT BUNNY. However, it's going to be a damn long time before it goes up because I want it to be as well-written and uncliched as possible. (Which will be difficult - the uncliched part, that is - because I'm sure there are plenty of Twilight stories where Bella is pretty much the girl next door who has a crush on Edward who lives next door who has a girlfriend. Which is as far as I've gotten with the plot so far.)

I'm not sure how to start this off, so I'll just jump in and say whatever.

1. FOR THE LOVE OF WRITING, PLEASE DO NOT BE MELODRAMATIC. Because honestly, would YOU react like that? If it's not a trait and they're not doing it for show, DO NOT BE MELODRAMATIC. It makes me want to scream.

2. I may not have stories up but dude, I can totally tell you when your writing sucks. Although I admit (rather shamefacedly), sometimes I'm wrong. SOMETIMES.

3. Fix your punctuation. If you're going to add in who said such-and-such at the end of their saying such-and-such, a) you put a comma at the end of the dialogue and before the quotation mark, and b) you lowercase "he" or "she" or "they" or whatever. You uppercase names and the first letter in the beginning of sentences. (Remember that last bit. PLEASE uppercase the first letter in the beginnings of sentences.)

Remember: "Let's eat, Grandpa!" "Let's eat Grandpa!" Punctuation saves lives.

4. PLEASE LEARN HOW TO SPELL. At the very least, use Spellcheck or pay attention to those little red lines on the bottoms of your words. Again, for the love of writing. Also for the love of future generations. Because seriously? We are SO screwed if we forget how to spell correctly. LIKE MAJORLY SCREWED IN AN APOCALYPTIC SORT OF WAY. Do you understand me? -grabs you by your collar and pushes you up against a wall in a very manic way- DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?? -wild eyes-

But seriously yo.

5. Don't put more than 2 people's dialogues on the same line or in the same paragraph. Make separate paragraphs. That's how good writing works. And sure, you may not be a published author, but even if people don't say anything about it, people still don't LIKE to read bad writing. They (myself included) might read it because it's a good plot and it's going well and they like it and the writing is otherwise OK, but hey, try your best, alright? And OK, so you might not be able to put up a chapter every 3 days. That's fabulous. You don't have to. You actually do have a choice, and it's not life-or-death, no matter how many people say they'll virtually run you through with virtual pitchforks that virtually hurt like virtual hell if you don't update ASAP. -shifty eyes-

6. Take your cues from books. Books don't have double exclamation marks, or double question marks. Books don't have more than one person's dialogue in the same paragraph.

7. Try to cut your paragraphs shorter. Ya, there are long paragraphs in books, but it's harder to read long paragraphs on here because there are such long lines. And good paragraphs have one subject in them. Don't have something about thus-and-so's car and how Alice is driving Bella crazy with constant shopping and what thus-and-so is doing tonight in the same paragraph. I implore you.

8. Flaming emails amuse me. Just so you know. And you don't have to defend the author of the story I gave a flaming review to. If s/he wants to get all pissed at me and let me know it, s/he will. If s/he doesn't, you don't have to do it for them.

9. Don't use the same adjective twice too quickly, unless you're describing multiple things the same way, and it's sort of a joke. Meaning, don't describe Edward's hair and Edward's chest muscles wonderful in 1 or 2 (possibly even 3, depending) sentences in a row. It doesn't sound right. If you can't think of anything else, fine.

10. Before you post your next chapter, read it aloud. You might have edited it without reading it aloud, but reading it aloud definitely helps. You find when you put a comma in the wrong place. ...And other stuff, but I can't think of it right now.

11. Again, yes, I know you're not a published author, and may not even be aspiring to be an author. But hey, if you're posting stories for the public to read - try your best.

That's all for now.

- RockinWriter (Who Eternally Has Awesomer Writing Than You Do. And If I Don't? Prove It.)