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beta: β Beta Reader Profile
since: 04-19-08, id: 1555748, Profile Updated: 10-23-11
country: USA
Author has written 12 stories for Naruto.

IMPORTANT: IF YOU'VE READ MY STORY Kitsune-No-Sakura At Your Service! THEN LOOK AT MY POLL. PLEASE. AND IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE ELSE WHO HAS READ THAT STORY, THEN TELL THEM ABOUT MY POLL AND TO VOTE ON IT. THE POLL IS ALL ABOUT KNSAYS. 3

Name: Takai-sama~

Age: 17

DOB: June 14, 1994

DOD: Do I look dead to you? D:

Doing on fanfiction.net: Boredum and fangirlism. =D

Favorite anime: Hellsing OVA

Favorite T.V. show: True Blood!

Favorite couples: ItaSaku, PeinSaku, MadaSaku, etc.

Most hated couples: Most Yaoi, ALL Yuri...Sookie with Bill...

Loves most: AKATSUKI!

Weirdness: I'm INSANE!!

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of ever line(HAH! Copy this into your profile if you find this funny)

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

This is a story about a little girl that was abused. If you care at all, copy and paste this into your profile:

My name is sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.

child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

THE WE HATE KARIN CLUB:If you hate Karin from NARUTO, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Pink Crescent Moon, Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX,xnarutoxrocksx.uchihasakurah26,Sasusakufan2357,Coscat, Black and Beautiful,blossomheartxoxo,Cherry Blossom Girl13, XxBirdxOfxHermesxX

Y BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT
There was once a girl named Ashley who
had a
boyfriend
named
Jack.

Jack was the most popular guy in school.
The
three most
popular
girls were
Courtney, ASHLEY, and Emma. Jack
thought of
Ashley as
OKAY,
but
he REALLy
liked Courtney. Courtney liked jack also.
Well of
course
she
did, everyone
did!

Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies.
Courtney tried to
steal
Jack away
everytime she had a chance to. One day,
Courtney asked
Jack
if
he wanted
to
go to the movies. Ashley heard
everything...what
movie
theatre
and what
time.

Ashley approached the movies that night
and
followed Jack
and
Courtney.
Ashley sat right behind them. she
watched them
get close
to
each
other and
kiss...not only kiss, but practically get it
on in the
theatre.
Courtney
told jack "Do you want to come to my
place and
skip this
boring
movie?" He
replied "hell yes."

Ashley had peeked through Courtney's
window.
Jack and
her
were

messing
around and Ashley watched the whole
thing.

The next day at school Ashley wasn't
there. For
the next
few
days Ashley
wasn't there. A week later her mother
found her in
her
closet
dead... she
commited suicide because she had loved
Jack so
much.
Next
to
ashley's dead
body was a note.

A note that read: My dearest Jack, I
watched you
at the
movie
and at
Courtney's house and I will continue to
watch you.
I never
thought you
would
do something like this to me. I really
loved you
jack. I
died
for you just
like Jesus died for us.

Always with you, Ashley

Please foward this or Ashley will
haunt
you and try
to kill you because she wants everyone to
know
about
Courtney.

Thank you

...() () (\_/) (\_/)
...(0.0) (0.o) (+'.'+)
...( _ ) c(")(") (")_(")
Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies.)

If i dont call you
Its because i'm waiting for you to call me

When i walk away from you mad
Follow me

When i stare at your mouth
Kiss me

When i push you or hit you
Grab me and dont let go

When i start cussing at you
Kiss me and tell me you love me

When im quiet
Ask me whats wrong

When i ignore you
Give me your attention

When i pull away
Pull me back

When you see me at my worst
Tell me i'm beautiful

When you see me start crying
Hold me and tell me everything will be alright

When you see me walking
Sneak up and hug my waist from behind

When i'm scared
Protect me

When i lay my head on your shoulder
Tilt my head up and kiss me

When i grab at your hands
Hold mine and play with my fingers

When i tease you
Tease me back and make me laugh

When i dont answer for a long time
reassure me that everything is okay

When i look at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When i say that i like you
I really do more than you could understand

When i bump into you
bump into me back and make me laugh

When i tell you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When i look at you in your eyes
dont look away until i do

When i miss you
i'm hurting inside

When you break my heart
the pain never really goes away

When i say its over
i still want you to be mine

If you've ever wondered if you were adopted because of your sibling, copy this into your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you hate NejiHina copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completely has to have the nickname "Chicken Butt Hair Dude" copy and paste this into your profile while laughing your head off!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, Vert9411, pinkcherryblossom225,crimsonchidori,SasukeSakuraxXXxItachiSakura,cherryredblossom,BLOSSOMHAERTXOXO,Cherry Bloosom Girl13, XxBirdxOfxHermesxX

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

98 of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!(What do you mean not to put this in? NNNOOOOOOO! We will be figured out! What do you mean we? I'm the one people think is insane.)

"I suffer from C.R.S. (Can't remember shit)"

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.

18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.

19. Throw things over one aisle into another one.

20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie

The "You no like, you no read" club: If you believe that people who don't like someone's story should simply not read it instead of posting cruel and hateful reviews, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Alicia's Purple Velvet Purse, changelingchild, crimsonchidori, SasukeSakuraxXXxItachiSakura,foxfeather1337,Sadistic-Bitch, Cherry Blossom Girl13, XxBirdxOfxHermesxX

If you wish ninja from Naruto were real and that you would be a member of Akatsuki, copy this, post this on your profile, and add your name. Setsugekka, Cherry Blossom Girl13, XxBirdxOfxHermesxX

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Repost this if you're one of the 8 percent who would be laughing your ass off!

If you've ever looked at random peoples profiles just to get these stupid things, copy this on to your profile

Put this on your profile if you've ever had a fangirl moment

If you hate those obnoxious, snobby people, PLEASE copy this on to your profile

What Makes 100? What does it mean to give MORE than 100? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100. How about achieving 103? What makes up 100 in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and

Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

If you are an Itachi fangirl and just cannot hold it in copy this on your profile.

_0_
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_000_
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_00_0_00_
_00_00_0_
_000_00_00_
_00_
_000_
_000_
_00_
_0_

ANBU TATTOO!!

ANBU ARE COOL,CREEPY,AND SNEEKY AT THE SAME TIME!!

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought imposible to choke on), copy

Guys hears some advice and i think you need it (well some guys anyway)

1) When she acts shy - say i love you

2) When she runs away from you - chase her

3) When she puts her face near yours - kiss her (DUH)

4) When she kicks and punches you - hold her tight

5) When shes silent - Shes thinking how to say i love you

6) When she ignores you - she wants all your attention

7) When she pulls away -grab her by the waist and never let go

8) When you see her at her worst - tell her shes BEAUTIFUL

9) When she screams at you - tell her you love her, you have to mean it

10) When you see her walking - Sneak up behind her grab her by the waist and kiss her

11) When shes scared - hold her and tell her everything is ok 'cause shes with you'

12) When she looks like somthings the matter - kiss her and tell her not to worry

13) When she holds you hand - play with her fingers

TOTAL SIGNS OF FLIRTING (FOR GUYS AND GIRLS)

Weird Questions No One Has the Answers To

Are children who act in R rated films allowed to see them?

If the SWAT team breaks down your door, do they have to replace it later?

What idiot put an 's' in the word 'lisp'?

What do you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If you're in a vehicle going at the speed of light, what happens if you turn on the headlights?

Can you breathe out your nose and your mouth at the same time?

Who was the first person to say, 'See that cow there? I'm gonna squeeze those dangly things and drink whatever comes out.'?

Is 'Cute as a button' supposed to be a compliment? Since when were buttons cute?

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken over there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt'?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped spot but not illegal go on a handicapped toilet?

Have you every noticed that if you rearrange the letters in mother-in-law, it will come out as 'Woman Hitler'?

What happens if your snot freezes inside your nose?

ninja waits until the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike." Copy and Paste if your a Ninja!

If you know the clowns are out to get you, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think that SasuHina is complete bullshit and that the people who came up with it or write it should get a labotomy put this in your profile and add your name to the list. Artful Lounger, Naruto Namikaze the Legend, XxBirdxOfxHermesxX

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this into your profile!
By Order of chelsea-chee

98 percent of teenagers smoke or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.
By Order of MelanieStar

Girl: Slow down!

Guy: No this is fun!

Girl: No it's not! Please, it's way to scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you. Now slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gave him a big hug.

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me.

In the newspaper, the next day, a motorcyle crashed into a building because of break failure.

Two people were on it and only one survived.

The truth was, that half way down the road the guy realized his breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know.

Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so she would live even if it meant he would die.

If you would do the same for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile.

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that
spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
toes, don't come running to me. "

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
understand."

And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".

If you think it's unfair Deidara comitted suicide to kill Sasufag and think Sasuke's a god-modder who deserves that nickname, copy and paste this into your profile.

if you have crazy psycopathic dreams of world domination join me and copy this into ur profile

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile! (I know, I'm a total loon.)

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

If you like to bite people,copy this onto your profile.

If you like vampires,copy this onto your profile.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

Friends will always be like "Well, you deserve better." Best friends will be prank calling him in the middle of the night, saying "You will die in seven days."

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

A friend would bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying "That was fun"

If you have canines or fangs,put this on your profile.

If you've ever slapped and/or bangged your head against a table for no reason,copy this to your profile.

If you have ever laughed madly for no apparent reason,add this to your bio.

If you are crazy and /or insane and proud of it copy and paste it to your profile

If you are a pscyopath,freak,goth,punk,head banger,gang banger,skater and/or emo copy this to your profile.

If you hear voices in your head,copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation,copy this to your profile.

If you have ever laughed out loud when you were thinking something funny and people looked at you with a weird face,copy thiis to your profile.

If you dont care if your not popular,you're just who you are.copy and paste this onto your profile and dd your name: Gaara's weakness,Vampire-Gaara-and-Sasuke-girl, XxBirdxOfxHermesxX

If you have ever been so wrapped up thinking about anime,anime fanart or anime fan fictions that you zone out and come back to reality 5 minutes or later with no idea whats going on,copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever been obsessed with something that you have scared people with your obsession,place this on your profile.

Fourty-Nine laws of Anime:

Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito

1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.

2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

11. Law of Inherent Combustability
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.

14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.

15. Law of Inexhaustability
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.

17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.

18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't...

22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
--Extreme Coolness
--Amazing intelligence
--Incredible Irritation

37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.

44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

¸.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´~pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

If SasuSaku does NOT happen in the Naruto anime, and you will join my angry mob to fight aganist Kisimoto-shishou till he puts SasuSaku in there, copy and paste this onto you profile and add you name to the ongoing list: CherryBlossomSavior, Frozen Angel Wings, candyluver, XxBirdxOfxHermesxX

You Know You're a Naruto Addict When...

You eat Ramen all day every day.

You've watched every episode at least 5 times - in English and Japanese.

You watched the first 135 episodes of Naruto in less than 5 days.

You buy a 200 pair of Sharingan contacts.

You say "Dattebayo" or "Believe it!" after every sentence.

You cover half of your face with a mask.

You spend all your free time looking at Naruto web sites.

You try to walk up trees using your feet only.

You draw whiskers on your face.

You spend the time to make and maintain a Naruto web site.

You draw black circles around your eyes.

You think about killing your entire family just to test your abilities.

You always talk about Naruto, even if no one wants to hear about it.

You run with your arms behind you.

You have read and written Naruto fan fiction.

...And took it a step further by making a Naruto music video .

You decide to call your morals your "ninja way".

You thrust your arm forward with a stress ball in hand and yell "Rasengan!"

You run with a snowball during a snowball fight, dodging everything in your path (or at least pretending to) and get to your target and thrust a "Snow Rasengan!" in their face.

You feel like you can tap into yourself and demand bursts of energy during a race or fight.

You yell out "Demon Windmill Shuriken" when your throwing a Frisbee.

You dye your hair blonde and try to walk up a tree.

You watch Naruto in Japanese, without English subtitles, even though you don't know a lick of Japanese.

You address your tests as the Chunin Exams.

You dye your hair red and carry a large bottle of of sand on your back.

You call old men who stare at young women “Ero-sennin” or “Pervy sage”

Your not Japanese and you say "Itadakimasu" before you eat

Your dreams and daydreams consist of elements from the Naruto world.

You have Naruto games for video game systems you don't even have.

You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun.

You tell people your dream is to be Hokage.

You replace your backpack with a giant gourd.

You feel like you have the Sharingan after you put in normal, everyday people contacts.

...And feel like you turn off your Sharingan after you take out the contacts.

You paint the Nine-Tailed Fox seal on your stomach and claim you have a demon inside of you.

Whenever your stomach rumbles, you think its Nine-Tailed Demon Fox trying to get out.

You wear a jacket in the middle of the summer.

You roll your eyes back in your head and shout "Byakugan!"

You give people the 'nice-guy' pose.

You jump into the room, kicking the door yelling "Dynamic Entry!"

You have to put on a headband before a major competition.

...And want your competition to do it too so people acknowledge you all as equals.

You do something stupid, you claim you were being controlled by the Shadow Possesion Jutsu

You trade in your favorite hat for a forehead protector.

You dress up like a girl and say it's your "Sexy Jutsu" (for guys only).

You get a tattoo of a cursed seal on your neck.

You don't care that your life has started to suck because "it's not cannon".

You leave your town for two and a half years, come back, and pretend you're cooler and smarter then before.

Any mention of Naruto makes you scream, laugh, applaud, or overall just become rather excited.

You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun.

You daydream about fighting the likes of Orochimaru, Itachi, or all of Akatsuki member.

You try to make pairings between characters.

You try to teach your dog 'Dynamic Marking'.

You throw clay birds hoping they'll explode.

You carry puppets with you.

You call your group of friends a "three man cell".

"Art is a Bang"

Your theories in chemistry, psychology, or philosophy class always reference Naruto somehow.

You wear a gigantic black cloak with red clouds on it.

The only facts you know about cells are the ones you learned from Tsunade.

You have gotten at least one friend addicted to Naruto.

You imagine Mount Rushmore as the Hokage faces.

You buy those stickers and stick them on your car, room, or face.

You always wear sunglasses and keep bugs in your pockets.

Your on a Naruto forum and it's 4:00 AM.

You spy on girls and call it research.

You try to summon a frog in biology class.

...by biting your thumb, making hand signs, and thrusting your hand on the floor.

You carry around frogs and call yourself "the Toad Sage".

You claim to be an expert on the Japanese language, then get kicked out of Japan on your vacation because all you knew how to do was insult people.

You refuse a date because your saving yourself for Sakura or Sasuke.

You have a pet pig named Tonton.

You draw symbols on a scroll and try to seal a whole in a wall with it.

You stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter.

You stay up all night waiting for the release of the next episode.

You call your teachers sensei and your not Japanese.

You add the suffixes -chan and -kun to the end of your friends names and your not Japanese.

You follow somebody home and when they ask you why, you tell them it's part you mission.

You use pick-up lines like “Wanna see my new jutsu?” or “Did you see my shadow clone pass by here earlier?”

You dress up a piece of wood and tell people your practicing a substitution technique.

You start making hand signs.

...And then run at somebody yelling "Chidori!"

You try to sign a contract with blood.

You hit people over the head if they say something stupid.

You paste a piece of paper that says come come paradise on the front of adult books.

You keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet.

You try to do 200 push-ups and when your not able to, you'll do 200 squats, and when you can't do that you'll try to walk around your town 200 times on your hands.

You try and compare people in real life to people in Naruto.

You drive around with Naruto music blasting out of the car, hoping somebody will recognize them and think your cool.

Your in a fight and rub some hot sauce in your eyes, yelling "Sharingan!"

You take out a bottle of hot sauce and drink it, shouting "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu! (Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu)"

You get mad when people call Naruto stupid or Gay

You have many Naruto head bands with the same sign on it and you got it again cuz it's a different color or its metal

You trust your life in websites like Saiyanisland or Uzumakiworld

You wish they would put Naruto Shippuuden on Adult Swim

You though Naruto was a little boring after Sasuke left

You think Byakugan looks a little painfull

You even write in Adult Fanfiction

You think all of the Naruto boys look a lot hotter in Shippuuden

You make up your own little Naruto world in your head

You wish you had half of all Naruto products or all

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Naruto

...And also try to add to this list as well

~FanFiction Survey!~

How many fanfictions do you have submitted?

About…ten or eleven

Which one has the most reviews?

Kitsune-No-Sakura At Your Service

Least?

Traveling Rin'negan

Which fanfiction has the most words?

Kitsune-No-Sakura At Your Service

Which fanfiction has the most chapters?

(Once again) Kitsune-No-Sakura At Your Service

What category are the majority of your fanfictions in?

Anime/Manga: Naruto

What do you like most in reviews: Quality or Quanity?

Hm...well it depends. Would quality or quanity bring in more readers?

Have any of your fanfictions made it into at least one C2?

Yeah. Five of 'em have. At least once.

Are any of your fanfictions on at least one person's favorites list?

Yep! All of them have at least six. That’s the least. The most, is 23 -sulks-

Are any of your fanfictions on at least one person's alert list?

Yep! The least is five(I have two of those! DX) and the most is 27! -sulks, again-

What genre do you most frequently write in?

I don’t keep track, and nor do I care. But if I had to choose, dark and action, I guess.

Do you leave comments before and after a chapter?

Sadly, but I’m reframing from writing them at the beginning, only at the end now, unless it’s required or whatever.

Do you update frequently?

Not only do I have too many ideas, but I have lost all of my inspiration on most of them! Oh no! But I’m TRYING to work on the chapters for Combined Revenge, Evil Is All Around Us(I’m in the same place, that I was about..half a year ago? -sweatdrop-), My Little Spy!(Yes, I happy that I am!), Pure Blooded Love Bites, and Secrets…

OVERALL...never, lol. I've got hundreds on my computer,though! ...just, erm ..none that are up on ff.net...

Do you frequently use original characters?

Do you mean OC’s? If so, then I don’t really use them unless my story really calls for it. if not, then yes, I use the canon characters all the time.

Are any of your fanfictions based on things that happened to you in real life?

Nope! But some of the opinions that I use in my Fanfictions are mine. Sadly, I make the characters too much like me. In most of my Fanfictions, has anyone wondered how she will go from being so happy(Like I TRY to make her) to evil, dark, and hate-filled? Yeah, well, it’s the way that I write Fanfictions. _ I imagine myself in that characters place, even if it’s a guy. So yeah. Sorry if people are annoyed by that, I’m trying not to do that, but it’s very hard…-sob- JUST DON’T FLAME ME FOR IT!

But usually, no, things that happen in my fanfictions don't happen to me.

10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL

10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks

9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies

8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly

7. Our magazines have horiscopes

6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around

5. Our friends don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm

4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month

3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have

2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket

1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing

X-E-M-N-A-S = M-A-N-S-E-X

If you also noticed this and laughed very loudly when you did, or you just think it's hilariously funny (and ironic) copy and paste this on your profile and add your name to the list:

darkalbino, Mello-MattLiveOn4ever,Pink Crescent Moon, Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX, I'm in love with a Uchiha23, Angel of Cherry Blossoms, Cherrilatina, CherryBlossoms16, Rayray, Sakura the lover, Sasusakufan2357, Lina Mistress of Elements, xnarutoxrocksx, uchihasakurah26, Nokas-Kokas, NorthernLights25, KunoichruleALL, kawaiiblossom94, dera-chan, Mai-'-Kawaii-Ai, Ebil Chameleon you.broke.a.promise., XweaponsXmistressX, Sakura-Sasuke-love-em', SASUXSAKUFREAK, PinkBlossem, Shadow Princess, CherryBlossoms, Hinatakura, Sakuranata, uchihasakura285, KuroHime27, fumiko-chan, Dangerously Emerald, candyluver, XxBirdxOfxHermesxX

iF yOu LiVe FoR fAnFiCtIoN aNd CaNt Go A dAy WiThOuT iT pAsTe ThIs On YoUr PrOfIlE

IF YOU HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH THE COLOR BLACK PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

REMEMBER WHEN ..

getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

THE NARUTARD SURVEY! NARUTARDS UNITE!

1. Who is your favorite Naruto character(s)?

My most favorite character, would have to be Itachi. I mean, he’s a great role-model!(Muwahahhhahahahahha!)

2. What is your favorite pairing(s)?

ItaSaku, PeinSaku, and HidaSaku(in order!)

3. Are you a Naruto yaoi or hentai fan?

Yes, both! W00t!

4. Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? If so, who, where and how many times?

Nah, but I WISH! I always try to decide on who I'd be..I still can't decide!

5. List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise, if any:

Well let’s see here…A shiny Kimimaro card, a Naruto Official Guide book, Naruto magazine(I think :S), and….that’s about it. T.T

6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so, who?

Uhm, apparently a long time ago. Now? Nah, I'm good...owo" I mean, not of a Naruto character...-wiggles eyebrows- Hellsing's Alucard all the way baby~ XD

7. NaruHina or KibaHina?

NaruHina, I’m not a big fan on KibaHina, but I’ll read the fanfiction if the stories good. T.T

8. SasuSaku or SasuNaru?

Ohh…this ones hard for me…-sobs- I have been getting annoyed with SasuSaku, because Sasuke’s a total bastard. On the other hand, SasuNaru is cute, because Naruto and Sasuke are best friends, and Sasuke and Sakura are so NOT best friends. In fact, Sasuke practicly hates Sakura’s guts(Oh dear, if it wasn’t true then it would be SasuSaku!) but, I’m choosing Sasu…Naru! W00t!

9. Which team is your favorite?

My favorite team….does a Organization count? :3 I like the Akatsuki A LOT better then anyone! In fact, I hate Konoha. (SPOILERS!) I’m glad that Pein destroys the place. _”

10. Do you support the obito theory? (Tobi=Obito)

No, because Tobi is MADARA UCHIHA! DUN DUN DUNNNN!!

11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father' theory?

Uh, duh. If you don't know that by now, then you REALLY need to go read...or watch.

12. Your favorite Akatsuki member?

Itachi, Deidara, Sasori, Pein/Nagato, or Hidan…I so can’t choose….T.T Sadly.

13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke?

Anti-Sasuke! DIE, BASTARD! I mean, if he wasn't such a prick, then he'd be cool...buuuut...

14. Have you seen all Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)?

…Sadly not. I’m with the Manga, but I’ve missed a lot

15. Have you read all the chapters so far?

….Sadly not, again. I’m going to read all of them, one day!!

16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD?

Hmmm…No, I think it’s just his own personality, he’s a bright kid, not smart wise, but everyone could use a little smile every once in a while. But, just don’t put Naruto in the same room with Itachi or any other Uchiha..O.o His blood might be on the walls by the hours over…O_O””

17. Sub or dub?

Dub! I can handle Sub, but I'd much rather be able to hear what they say and actually WATCH the episode, not have to watch the damned subtitles. DX

18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura?

Pro-Sakura! She can be transformed ANY way and it wouldn’t matter! X3 Plus, she is like a role model for any girl!(Not me, though, too bright. Dx) I mean, she is very determined and knows what love is. Which is something that not a lot of people can say they do know.

19. Tobi = Annoying or funny?

Mostly funny. I would be laughing whenever he would bug someone, but then I’d punch him whenever he started to annoy me. .

20. Do you even know who Tobi is?

Yeah baby~….X3

21. Gai = Sexy beast or Ugly nerd?

Gah, do you even have to ask!? TOO HAPPY! TOO HAPPY!! -seizure-

22. Which character would be the best crossdresser?

I would have to say…well...it's a tie between Haku and Deidara...

23. Rock Lee = Weird or Awesome?

Rock Lee=idiot. I'm not saying he's weird, because weird is good. Sooo...

24. Which character would be best OOC? Who and how?

Hmmm...I would have to say Sakura. I only really like her whenever she's strong, mentally twisted (or not, that's optional...), usually hate-filled...in other words, a rather dark Sakura.

25. Do you like Naruto fanfics?

Yes. I love them. I haven't read any lately...because I've read all the ones that I've found interesting..."

26. Do you write Naruto fanfics?

Yes. A LOT. owo"

27. Do you like lemons?

Damn straight I do!!

28. Do your parents know about the Naruto characters?

My mother on some things, she can’t say Japanese worth shit, and she just gets annoyed at me whenever I start to rattle on and on about it! XD

29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series?

Duh! Who hasn’t!?

30. Have you seen The Naruto Ultimate Fanflashes?

YES!

31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Naruto?

No, but I’d like to!

32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and has someone recognized it?

I really can't draw very good. I don't really draw Naruto, and no one at my school really likes Naru-tard, so..

33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this? Nope. I don't draw Naruto.

34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades?

Not at all this year. ." Luckily..

35. Are you broke thanks to Naruto?

Depends. I was broke before Naruto. XD

36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise?

YES! I so do….

37. Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory?

Fuck no. Pein is the leader. _

38. Do you draw Naruto fanart?

Nope. Don't draw Naruto at all.

39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal?

Ugh. Dear god no. He wasn't even sexy to begin with.

40. Do you have a Naruto OC?

Yeah. Umi(one of my stories that I haven’t added to FF.net), Yokoshima Uchiha(I added it, but this stupid ass bitch flamed me and no one would read it, so I deleted it), and a lot of others..I had to make a few(about twenty!) for “Pure-Blooded Love Bites” _” and then about twenty more for “Black Heart”, that I will not EVER be adding onto FF.net…Oh, and she’s also a OC of mine. Her name is Kuroshin Uchiha. Kuroshin means Black Heart, that’s what the title is named after. X3

41. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life?

Truthfully, at one point, my answer would be maybe. I'd day dream in class of Itachi and Kisame coming and rescuing me from my school. Now...I'm pretty content with school...otherall, right now, I do not think Naruto has taken over my life. Perhaps Hellsing, but not Naruto..lolololol. Anyone know where to get a Hellsing survey?

~Naruto Birthdays~

January
01 - Gai
02 - Iwashi
04 - Haku
08 - Hiashi & Hizashi
19 - Gaara
23 - Shino
24 - Yamanaka Inoichi (Ino's Dad)
25 - Yondaime

February
08 - Sarutobi
10 - Obito Uchiha
11 - Sigure
21 - Yoroi
24 - Nara Shikaku (Shikamaru's Dad)
29 - Kabuto

March
08 - Ebisu
09 - Tenten
18 - Kisame
20 - Ibiki
27 - Hanabi
28 - Sakura
29 - Kazekage

April
02 - Cloud Ninja Leader
03 - Udon
04 - Gatoh & Tonbo
05 - Tazuna
06 - Waraji
22 - Choaza

May
01 - Chouji
04 - Tsunami
07 - Midare
08 - Homura
15 - Kankuro
26 - Iruka
30 - Baiu

June
06 - Gouzu & Meizu
08 - Moegi
09 - Itachi
11 - Kurenai
12 - Dosu

July
03 - Neji
04 - Baki
06 - Kin
07 - Akamaru & Kiba
17 - Gemma
21 - Kotetsu
23 - Sasuke

August
02- Tsunade
09 - Nawaki
15 -Zabuza
16 - Fugaku (Sasuke's Dad)
21 - Kaiza
23 - Temari
28 - Raidou

September
01 - Koharu
03 - Aoba
14 - Zaku
15 - Kakashi
15 - Obito
22 - Shikamaru
23 - Ino

October
10 - Naruto
18 - Asuma
19 - Suzume
21 - Mizuki
24 - Anko
27 - Orochimaru

November
02 - Hayate
05 - Wind Country Lord
11 - Jiraiya
15 - Mubi & Rin
16 - Kagari
25 - Izumo
27 - Rock Lee
30 - Misumi

December
01 - Zouri
04 - Dan (Tsunade's Boyfriend)
20 - Oboro
24 - Madam Shizimi
25 - Inari
27 - Hinata
30 - Konohamaru

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him. You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, post this on your profile

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

Girl Talk

Did you know...
kissing is healthy.
bananas are good for period pain.
it's good to cry.
chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
lying is actually unhealthy.
you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.
it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
chocolate will make you feel better.
most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
a good friend never judges.
a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.
boys aren't worth your tears.
we all love surprises.
Now... make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!!
WISH WISH WISH WISH
Your wish has just been recieved.
Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...
Your wish will be granted.

R.I.P:

Itachi- Stupid Sasuke had to kill him. Well it turned out Itachi was innocent. SO HA! PWNAGE, SASUKE!!

Jiraiya- I almost quit reading Naruto after i saw him die. No more Ero-Sennin means no more Icha Icha! Kakashi will kill himself when he hears the news!

From the Vampiric Council regarding Stephanie Meyer

Council Chambers
Association of Vampiric Activities Worldwide
1431 Wallachia Ave.
Sighisoara, Transylvania

From the Council Chambers of the Association of Vampiric Activities Worldwide

Regarding those of the Vampire race in the Cullen family and the now-former human Isabella Swan, with the following issues brought before Stephanie Meyer.

It has come to our attention that your creation's popularity among humans - particularly adolescent females - has been on the rise as of late. While we do respect those promoting our kind who achieve fame and glory, we nevertheless must hold you accountable for promoting several grievous misconceptions about our race.

Grievance the First: Lifestyle

It has been discovered through various interviews with readers and fans that you claim the following: Vampires do not sleep, breathe, or eat. Additionally, you state that Edward Cullen drinks animal blood to avoid biting humans. To begin, Vampires should generally sleep in a coffin containing the soil of their homeland. It is not a necessity, but it is highly recommended to preserve vitality. This is a fact that has been laid down since the time of our most ancient ancestor Ch'thon. The concept of not needing to breathe is foolish. Certainly the more powerful among us consider breathing a hobby, however a study of the Cullen family reveals that none of them are at such a level. The consumption of animal blood is something you are only partially correct on. It is common knowledge that nothing can surpass 100 percent genuine virgin blood in terms of performance enhancement. Animal blood works in emergencies, but fresh human blood - preferably virgin - is the status quo.

Furthermore, if our kind were to feed solely on animals with lower-quality blood, feedings would increase and it would cause potential instability in the planetary food chain and we could all very well end up extinct.

Grievance the Second: Method

Your portrayal of Edward Cullen in particular is a slight affront to our race. He is described using reference from the novels in the following way:

"Edward, like all Vampires in the Twilight series, possesses superhuman beauty, strength, speed, endurance, and agility. His scent and voice are enormously seductive, so much so that he occasionally sends Bella into a pliant daze entirely by accident."

Our abilities do vary, so thankfully the idea of Edward being a fast mover is not an affront to us. The rest of the description, however, we take exception to. While the idea of our race being a sexual one by nature is indeed true, Vampires are quite adept at restraint of libido. We remain unobtrusive as need dictates, and merely charming when appropriate. Methods of seduction are to be employed against humans only when a Vampire has reached a state of mental maturity. The idea that Edward - being so young mentally - practically radiates lust is ridiculous. If Isabella Swan is indeed swooning around one such as him, the cause is more than likely akin to a pungent smother than an aromatic caress.

A requested message from Proinsias Cassidy states that one need not "look like a total (expletive deleted) wanker t'get some (expletive deleted)." To express things more eloquently, we wish you would cease writing things in an apparent state of self-induced arousal.

Grievance the Third: Concerning Isabella Swan

As is most likely obvious by now, the brunt of our displeasure with you seems to focus on Edward Cullen. Also of concern to us is your handling of the human Isabella Swan. While member Seras Victoria points out that Vampires can indeed fall in love with humans, such likelihood seems to fade as the Vampire grows more accustomed to their lifestyle. The near-immediate conversion to a Vampiric state to further develop a relationship is permissible and indeed encouraged. Unfortunately in your story, it seems it takes most of the series before this happens.

By all rights, only a fresh Vampire would be so hesitant to turn the target of their affection to their kind, as they would still cling to humanity. You state that Edward has been alive since the early 1900's. He should have shed such a connection to Humanity by this time. Furthermore, Vampires are generally not driven to attempt suicide simply because of badly-handled romantic situations.

Grievance the Fourth: Concerning Power

Stated above, powers do vary within, and a Vampire's abilities may even change as they gain power and status.

Default Vampire powers are the following:
Increased strength
Increased speed
Enhanced senses
Telepathy
Familiars among the animal kind and limited shapeshifting of a related nature

Note that some Vampires may not possess these abilities, and some may possess others. Edward's current lineup of abilities is largely satisfactory, although we must state that no human is immune to a Vampire's telepathy. The idea of 'injecting venom into the heart' to convert a human to a Vampire is nonsense. Drinking a humans blood first renders them weak, and if a human is severely drained by a Vampire, only then do they themselves become a Vampire.

Additionally, the concept of Vampires having such varied powers among their own kind for the reason you describe is largely ridiculous. Vampires gain and perfect powers as they mature. Please realize that the varied capabilities of the Volturi are primarily telepathic in basic nature, and that the elementalist abilities of the Egyptian Coven's member Benjamin is more akin to the misrepresented nature of the so-called 'ninjas' of "Naruto" rather than the true abilities of any Vampire.

Furthermore, the idea of Vampires sparkling in sunlight is seen by us as truly nothing more than a foolish plot device. The most powerful of us are merely annoyed by sunlight, while the vast majority would - as member Proinsias Cassidy describes - "go up like six tons of Symtex."

Further Comments:

President Vlad Dracula would like to state that even if you were a virgin he would not drink from you, for it would only sully our race.

Member Proisias Cassidy's message has been removed due to generally inappropriate language.

Member Saya Otonashi commends you on including a character who wishes to become a Vampire, however she feels offended that such a character would change so swiftly and practically throw her character away when changing so.

Member Angelus advises that the next time Edward Cullen feels jilted in his love life, that he try to sort out the problem himself.

Member Louise de Pointe du Lac recalls his own experience in Human-Vampire relations and cannot help but wonder how Isabella might have fared if she had met Lestat.

Member Seras Victoria wishes she could sparkle in the sunlight too. She has been reprimanded.

Council Notes:

-We must commend you on the concept of the Volturi, although we find their policies regarding knowledge of our kind and dislike of Vampire children to be largely pointless.

-In anticipation of potential backlash regarding oddities among our own race, we wish to settle the following disputes here and shortly. First, concerning the unique nature of Vampires in Saya Otonashi's place of residence, human experimentation has muddled our kind their. The Chiropteran and Cavalier race are genetic deviants. Secondly, Proinsias Cassidy has quietly informed us that he had his fangs filed into normal incisors so as to avoid unwanted attention among humans. Furthermore, Louise de Pointe du Lac has commented on a new Vampire's need to bite and drink from the one who created them. This is not a necessary act and it has been concluded that this is an act done by some to give a Vampire their first blood until they are strong enough to feed themselves.

-In reference to your typical styles of romance, we have made contact with huntress Selene concerning her escapades with the Lycanthrope race.

-We are aware that the Count currently living on Sesame st. as well as Count Chocula do not conform to the standards set by the Council, however their actions and lifestyle are acceptable as they are useful for drawing in children.

-It is the esteemed belief of this Council that in cinematic portrayals of our race, Bela Lugosi and Tom Cruise make far better Vampires than Robert Patterson.

Sincerely,
Vlad Dracula, Count (President)
Proinsias Cassidy (Head of Human Relations Department)
Saya Otonashi (Deputy Head of Human Relations Department)
Angelus (Redemptions and Counseling)
Louise de Pointe du Lac (Chief Historian)
Seras Victoria (Head of Security)

Post-script: Should you happen to be in contact with the esteemed Mr. Richard O'Brien before we are, please remind him that Transylvania is not 'trans-sexual', and we have no record of 'sweet transvestites' living here. The tourists are becoming annoying.

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I don't follow my RELIGION, so I MUST not care about it.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE, so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER, so I MUST do weed and steal stuff.

I'm a PUNK, so I must only wear black and date only other punks.

I'm ASIAN, so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm CATHOLIC, so I MUST be mexican or spanish.

I'm MIXED, so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon. (I hate it. ick.)

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm an ASIAN GIRL, so I MUST have small boobs.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, so I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN, so I MUST ride a horse.

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME, so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN, so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD, so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN, so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH, so I MUST love sheep.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER.

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian, so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.

I’m GAY, so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND, so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN, so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I like YURI, so I MUST be a lesbian

I don't wear MAKEUP, so I MUST look ugly.

I'm in ORCHESTRA, so I MUST be a geek.

I like SCREAMO music, so I MUST worship the devil.

I play PIANO, so I MUST know how to play every instrument.

I have GLASSES, so I MUST be smart.

I'm QUIET, so I MUST be anti-social.

I don't like CANDY that much, so I MUST not like sweets.

I DRINK sometimes, so I MUST be hungover 24/7.

I choose OBAMA, so I MUST be black.

I'm (naturally or by accident) MEAN, so I MUST not have any feelings.

I like INCEST, so I MUST be fucking my own sibling.

I have SUSPENDERS, so I MUST be a loser.

I like TECHNO and INDUSTRIAL, so I MUST go to raves.

I LOVE the store HOT TOPIC, so I MUST be GOTH.

I buy stuff from SPENCERS, so it must be a SEX TOYS.

I'm SHY, so I MUST be insecure.

I love JAPANESE BOYS, so I MUST hate AMERICAN BOYS.

I'm BI, so I MUST not care what's in your pants.

I like HENTAI, so I MUST be a perverted boy.

I play the VIOLIN, so I MUST be ASIAN.

I can wear a SIZE 0, so I MUST anorexic.

I wanna be a DOCTOR, so I MUST love blood and guts.

I have a BIG BUTT, so I MUST be BLACK.

I have a great MEMORY, so I MUST be smart.

I have STOLEN, so I MUST be a THEIF.

I have a DEVIANTART, so I MUST want to get discovered.

I hate MYSPACE, so I MUST have no life or friends.

I like to CUSS a lot, so I MUST I have anger issues.

I don't like SCHOOL, so I MUST be STUPID.

I dress PREPPY, so I MUST be white.

I shop at AMBERCOMBIE and FITCH, so I MUST be skinny and WHITE.

I like to CLEAN, so I MUST be a neat freak.

I like to BUY everything I see, so I MUST be a SHOPAHOLIC.

I have a FACEBOOK, so I MUST think I'm GROWN.

I wear short SHORTS, so I MUST be a whore.

I wear TIGHT CLOTHES, so I MUST want to show off my BODY.

I wear VANS, so I MUST be a SKATEBOARDER.

I wear NIKES, so I MUST be BLACK.

I wear CONVERSE, so I MUST be PUNK.

I don't go to the MALL, so I MUST not have a LIFE.

I don't like to EAT A LOT, so I MUST be BULIMIC.

I love my own RACE, so I MUST dislike the others.

I dislike my own RACE, so I MUST have ISSUES.

I hate CHOCOLATE, so I MUST hate all sweets.

I watch OLD SHOWS, so I MUST be stuck in the past.

I like RAINBOWS, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm OPEN MINED, so I MUST do everything.

I hate RAIN, so I MUST not like water.

I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be SHOWING THEM OFF.

I think MILK is disgusting, so I MUST be lactose intolerant.

I like going to RESTAURANTS, so I MUST be fat.

I hate the subject of SEX, so I MUST be prude.

I actually LAUGH during HORROR MOVIES, so I MUST have no a SYMPATHY.

I like to BAKE and COOK, so I MUST be FAT.

I think ANIME BOYS are better than REAL BOYS, so I MUST be CRAZY.

I can't stand TWILIGHT, so I MUST be a loser.

I love VAMPIRES, so I MUST be WEIRD.

I have BRACES, so I MUST look like a nerd.

I dislike my BODY, so I MUST have poor SELF IMAGE.

I can't SWIM, so I MUST be BLACK.

I want to be RICH, so I MUST be POOR.

I love KID MOVIES, so I MUST be CHILDISH.

I have or had multiple CRUSHES, so I MUST be a WHORE.

I don't support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST be a HOMO-PHOBE.

I choose MCCAIN, so I MUST be WHITE.

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies. x
You love jeans. x
Dogs are better than cats.x
It's hilarious when people get hurt. x
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.x
Sad movies suck.
You own an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. x
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega. X (Have all three….)
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
you watch sports on TV.
gory movies are cool. x
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. x
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors. x
You love to go crazy and not care what people think. x
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth. x
Sleep with your socks on at night

Total: 12 o

Your Girl Side

You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice.x
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance? x
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.

You smile a lot more than you should. x
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne. x
You love the movies. x
Used to play with dolls as little kid. x
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing

Total: 6 (…really? )

Female Come Backs

pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

(there are a few for this next one)
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Dead end/do not enter/stop/wrong way.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: are you a super model?
woman: no, if I was I would sic my body gaurds on you.

Man: so did it hurt?
Woman: did what hurt? meeting you?

Man: you're so beautiful you would make the goddess of beauty envious
Woman: really? I was just thinking that you're so ugly you would make a warthog envious.

Man: I fell in love with you at first sight.
Woman: really I got sick of you at first sight.

Man: your very presince makes my heart beat so fast.
Woman: your very presence makes my heart stop cold and my brain fry.

Man: when I'm with you I feel like I can fly.
Woman: really you want to test that theory? I know of a near by cliff.

Man: you know youre so beautiful I'm going to put you at the top of my hot list
Woman: really? because I'm going to add you to the top of my hit list.

Man: when I'm with you I feel so safe.
Woman: not for much longer.

Man: your eyes they're beatiful.
Woman: your existance it's annoying.

Man: your lips are like roses.
Woman: your face is like shit.

Man: i could spend all night kissing you.
Woman: i could spend all night without you.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this...
If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
GUYS REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen

I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying

I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped."
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me
"I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you do have enough money?''
"OK" he said "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me!''"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article: 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to recover from the coma.
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched you. have a heart

1. Which color is better red, black, green, blue, or yellow
Black

2. What's your first initial?

S

3. What month were u born?

June

4. Which color do you like more, black or white?

Black

5. Name one of your friends

Amber

6. Name a number 1-100

13

7. Do you like flying or driving more

flying

8. Do you like lakes or oceans more

Oceans

Think of a wish, but don't write it...1

1. If you chose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love
Black : You are conservative and aggressive
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love and give good advice to those who are down
Yellow - You are a very happy person with alot to give

2. If you're initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life
L-R: You try to enjoy your life to the maximum & your love life is soon to blossom
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good

3. If you were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will last forever
July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good
Oct-Dec: Your love life will be great, and eventually you will find your soul mate

4. if you chose:

Black: Your life will take you on a different direction, it will seem hard at times but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do any thing for you, but you may not realize it

5. This person is your best friend

6. If It Is:

1-50 you are a very lovable person and you have a great life
More than 50, screw the world

7. If you chose:

Flying - You like adventure
Driving - You are a laid back person

8. if you chose:

Lake - You are loyal to your friends, your lover, and yourself
You are very reserved but emotional
Ocean - You are spontaneous and like to please people

9. This wish will come true only if you repost this

Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts

It is not necessary to yell “BURN” every time Snape takes a point from Gryffindor.

I will not sing “we’re off to see the wizard” when I am sent to the headmasters office.

I will not dress up in a dementor suit and use a dustbuster on Harry’s lips to get him to do whatever I want.

I am not allowed to declare an official Hug a Slytherine day.

I will not wear my “DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT” shirt to school.

I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.

I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.

Telling Slytherin first years that to enter their common room they must point their wands strait up and say, “Morsmordre” is just plain mean.

I will not enchant a scarecrow and suit of armor to skip through the halls singing, “We’re Off to See the Wizard”.

I will not under any circumstances ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.

I will not enchant a scarecrow and suit of armor to skip through the halls singing, “We’re Off to See the Wizard”.

I will not use Slytherine and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.

I will not say, “Dude get a life” to Voldemort.

I must not point at Voldemort and say “I taught him everything he knows.”

A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become.

However tempting it may be, I will not send Voldemort a Christmas card telling him how much we all love him, even through these difficult times.

I will not tell Snape he needs to go to his “Happy place”.

I will not jump up, yelling “VOLDEMORT, RUN!” in the middle of a Order of the Phoenix or DA meeting.

I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of a class and blame that someone put the Imperious Curse on me.

I will not greet Professor McGonagall with “What’s new, pussycat?”

Asking: “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” and then walking away is only funny the first time.

The four houses are not the Morons, the Barons, the Smartelics, and the Junior Death Eaters.

Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

I will not bring a magic eight ball to Divination class.

Seamus Finnegan is not “after me lucky charms”.

I will not tell Draco and Hermione to “Get a room” whenever they start to fight.

If a classmate falls asleep I will not take advantage of this fact and draw a dark mark on their arm

"I will not make any jokes about LUPIN and 'his time of the month'."

So You Want to Be a Death Eater..Your guide to everything evil!This list may contain spoilers!

Greetings, new follower:

If you are reading this letter then you have doubtless been accepted into the select band of professional wizards known as the Death Eaters. If by some unprecedented chance you are reading this and you have not been accepted into the Death Eaters then I suggest you put down this letter and leave now, or the consequences for you will be as terrible as my lifelong study into the Dark Arts can make them.

Please find enclosed a short introductory guide to Death Eating, which you must memorise and then eat, to prevent security leaks. (Due to an unfortunate fatality last week, it is now permitted to cut the guide into small pieces before swallowing).

The next meeting is scheduled for midnight, 11th June, when I trust we will have the pleasure of watching your initiation ceremony. Please remember to bring a clean handsaw and enough twine. It's so distressing when people don't prepare for these events properly.

Yours in infamy,

Lord Voldemort
So You Want To Be A Death Eater?

Welcome to this helpful guide to being a Death Eater. This leaflet should provide you with all the information you need to become a successful servant to the Dark Lord. It will if you know what's good for you. Please read every page before eating.

Aims of the society:

World peace
To be evil
To conquer the world
Elimination of all Muggles
Elimination of all Mudbloods
Elimination of Albus Dumbledore & the Order of the Phoenix
Elimination of (miscellaneous)
To serve Lord Voldemort (that's me!)
To create sanctuaries for endangered breeds of snakes
This statement is a lie.

List of Equipment required for new Death Eaters:

(Equipment marked must be obtained from Messers. Gorgon & Black Limited, outfitters to the intensely evil and terminally stylish since 12 BC. Their premises are on Knockturn Alley, but they now do mail order as well.)

Long Black Robes (Casual)
Long Black Robes (Smart)
Short Black Robes (for summer wear)
Long Black cloak (silk is preferable to velvet, as it is much more absorbent)
Black mask (informal)
Black mask (sequined)
Black boots (Stiletto heels are no longer permitted)
Black leather gloves (barbed wire ornamentation optional)
Wand
Extra wand in case of losing first wand
Plastic imitation wand in case of losing Extra wand

Cane (For favored members only. Unauthorized possession of a cane will result in a heavy fine. Before possessing cane, it is necessary to pass a rigorous series of tests to ascertain that your carrying-a-cane-in-a-nonchalant-yet-evil-fashion skills are up to scratch).

Coffin
Dueling sword
Disguise kit, containing: Nun's outfit, false beard, beekeeping veil, Muggle policeman's costume, etc.
Saw
Assorted chains
Handcuffs
Pointy stick

Recommended Reading:

Curses and Counter-Curses by Professor Vindictus Viridian
Evil: A Beginners Guide by Professor E. Maledict
The Illustrated Torturer's handbook by Bellatrix Black
What Not to Wear in the Torture Chamber by Narcissa Malfoy
Sex, Lies, and Unforgivable Curses: The Authorised Biography of Lord Voldemort by Peter Pettigrew
Caring For Your New Tattoo: An Informative Guide St. Mungo's Hospital Skin Department

Death Eater may also own snake or dragon or hippogriff. But only Lord Voldemort may possess a basilisk.

Death Eater Rules:

No Death Eater shall be a spy for Dumbledore.
No Death Eater shall play the harmonica.
All Death Eaters must be proficient in the Dark Arts: murder, Unforgivable Curses, yodeling etc. An annual examination will be made to make sure that all members are up to scratch.
No Death Eater shall behave with integrity unless it is a genuine accident.
A Death Eater must be pureblooded.
No Death Eater must ever mention that the Dark Lord himself is not pureblooded.
No Death Eater may kill another Death Eater without a very good reason.
All Death Eaters shall answer Lord Voldemort's summons immediately. (Unless you are having a shower, in which case it is permitted to don a bath robe first.)
All Death Eaters shall have vaguely sinister surnames.
All Death Eaters shall overtake on the left.

Frequently Asked Questions:

What happens if Voldemort is displeased with me?

As this is a fairly run (and currently short-staffed) organization, you will probably receive a warning. And some soul-destroying torture. A second offense and you will probably die a slow death. Options include:

Being slowly eaten by a manticore.
Being dissolved in a vat of basilisk venom.
Gradual impalement on your own wand.
Death by Mandrake (according to season).
The Pancake curse. (This newly developed spell will carve you into wafer-thin slices. Victims killed in this way are traditionally cooked in hot fat and served with maple syrup or lemon juice at Death Eater feasts.)
Being flayed alive and used as a life-sized glove puppet at Death Eater children's parties.
Avada Kedavra (if we're in a hurry/ feeling rather unimaginative).

What should I do if I decide to leave the organization?

Make your funeral arrangements as quickly as possible.

(See above)

What is the salary like?

You should be in this job for the principle of the thing, not for sordid reasons. So let's just say that it's much, much better than they pay at the Ministry. There will also be opportunities for pillage, looting, theft, etc., and Christmas bonuses are guaranteed.

Does the Dark Mark hurt?

Of course it does; this is an evil society after all. What are you, a wimp?

Can the Dark Mark be removed by laser treatment?

No. Only a moron would ask such a stupid question.

But it can be temporarily obscured by a good-quality concealer. (Make sure it's a shade darker than your skin tone, as a lighter shade will simply draw attention to the tattoo. Pat translucent powder over the concealer to make it last longer.)

Is there a retirement age for Death Eaters?

You probably won't live long enough to have to deal with this problem.

Can I kill personal enemies or just opponents of Voldemort?

Murder is encouraged on principle; however, personal killings should be reserved for each individual Death Eater's free time, as obviously serving Lord Voldemort is much more important. Occasional massacre outings/ dark revels may take place as rewards for good (i.e. bad) behavior.

What should I do if Voldemort is defeated at the height of his powers by a one-year-old boy?

This circumstance is so unlikely that there is no point devising a protocol to deal with it.

The Death Eater Anthem (to be memorised by each new recruit as soon as possible). Please note that this tune should never, never, never, never be sung to the tune of "Blackadder," an inane Muggle television program to which we are completely oblivious and never watch. Honestly.

Who lurk beneath the undergrowth?
When all is dim and dark?
Who murder people in their beds
Or sometimes in the park?
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
Our blood is pure as pure!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
We all love Voldemort!
We serve the Dark Lord every day,
We're always very loyal
And if with us you don't agree
We'll boil you in hot oil!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
We're evil as can be!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
But if we're scared we'll flee!
Our curses are incredible.
We're known for our Morsmordres
And though our leader is insane
We always follow orders.
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
We're wickedness collective!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
Yet rather ineffective!

Health and Safety:

Being a Death Eater is naturally a dangerous job. Lord Voldemort accepts no liability for any pain/suffering/torture/impalement/loss of limbs/grievous bodily harm/disintegration/insanity/imprisonment/loss of soul/death which you may experience while in his service. No good will come of any attempts to sue him as a negligent employer. Trust us.

However, in order to protect members, these safety guidelines have been developed for Death Eaters both during leisure time and on missions for the Dark Lord:

Don't try to take out Harry Potter yourself. It is extremely presumptuous. Leave it to Lord Voldemort, who has much more practice.

Employ masterly deceit to conceal your allegiance to the Dark Lord: e.g., if someone accuses you of being a Death Eater, laugh carelessly and say: "No, I am not a Death Eater. Would you like a cup of tea?" This Machiavellian trickery should be enough to convince them.

If this does not convince your accuser, have them discreetly murdered. (Sussex and Fox Ltd, of 13, Knockturn Alley, run a very efficient assassination service and are currently offering cut-price deals for friends and associates of the Dark Lord. Present your membership card at the counter for further details.)

Keep your wand on you at all times, even if you are asleep/on a hot date/in the bath/on the beach/wearing very tight-fitting leather garments (or all of these at once).

Ostentatious indicators of evil, such as manic laughter/dressing entirely in black swooshy robes (Snape, this means you)/ making sinister comments/killing people should be practiced only in private.

If you suspect someone of being a spy, kill them and their family at the first opportunity. If it turns out they were not a spy at all, pass it off as a light-hearted practical joke.

Only eat food prepared by yourself or your faithful minions. Do not trust your spouse(s)/partner(s), no matter how pretty he/she/they may be.

Similarly, do not accept drinks from anyone. This may cause offense when visiting a pub or bar but it's better than being dead. Obviously.

Do not take off your mask for any reason while on a mission. If people see your face while you are conjuring the Dark Mark/ massacring etc, they may suspect that you are a Death Eater.

Do not try to smoke while wearing your mask, as it is not fireproof.

Never address your colleagues by name while on a mission. Survivors may recall it at a later date. For the same reason, never mention your address or telephone number to anyone you are kidnapping/raping/torturing/killing, no matter how attractive they may be. Evil relationship experts have stated that romance is unlikely to flourish under such circumstances anyway.

Burn all sensitive documents. Not only will this deter spies, it is also amusing as it contributes to global warming.

Set up an anti-Apparating spell round your residence (but make sure you have a Portkey handy so you're not embarrassingly trapped there if the place is attacked by Aurors).

Prepare a secret hideout for yourself should your cover be blown. Failure to do this may lead to your sharing a hideout with another Death Eating family, which often results in friction over use of bathroom facilities, television, etc.

Don't upset Lord Voldemort. It will only end in tears. (And multiple burns, fractured limbs, mortal torment, etc.)

HAHAHAHA! I laughed SO hard when I read that! So you wanna be a Death Eater? HAHAHAHAHA

95 of all teenage girls would jump off a cliff if Stephanie meyers made Edward Cullen die in the Twilight saga. Copy and paste if you'd be one of the ones laughing themselves to death!

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Whoever criticizes our generation has quite obviously forgotten who raised it."

"RAP = Retards Attempting Poetry"

'Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.'

'Someday your Prince Charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.'

'Dear bed, I'm sorry I left you so early in the morning. I'm really regretting it...please take me back.'

'I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.'

'Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.'

'Be optimistic. :) The people you hate will eventually die.'

You know what! Earth sucks, I’m going home!

Death is life's way of telling you you're fired."

Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll.

The difference between Genius and Stupidity is that Genius is limited

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

I lay at my bed last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the fuck did my ceiling go?!

Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?

Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules

…didn’t need an excuse to go over to the Dark Side…

True Love has no happy ending, because True Love has no ending.

"True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream"

They keep saying the right person will come along... I think a truck hit mine!

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

There are three kinds of people:
those who make things happen;
those who watch things happen;
and those who don't know what the heck is happening."

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

I hear voices and they don’t like you.”

I know life is unfair, but could it at least be unfair in my favor?!”

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest have to test the electric fence for themselves

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't!

I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait!

If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, then why do they abduct the dumbest people on earth ??

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

"I told my psychologist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."

"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." ~ Anonymous

Never say 'Things couldn't get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge

True love isn't free, but i'd pay anything to have it

real life isn't full of happily ever afters, just bursts of happiness that don't last very long

The world is cruel... get used to it!

Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal.

If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.

Would you like a cookie? So would I.

Everyday I think people can't get any stupider. Everyday I am proven horribly wrong

-All sane people who worked here quit

-Everything is funny as long as it's happening to some one else

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

Boy friend and boyfriend. A single space tells the difference-and its a big one.

No boy is worth crying over, and the one who is won't make you cry...

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile.

If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Don't take life too seriously; no on gets out alive.

Girls are like phones, they like to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong botton, you will be disconnected.

WHEN THE VERY FIRST MAN DISCOVERED THAT COWS HAVE MILK... WHAT DO YOU THINK HE WAS DOING??

I will temporarily rule the world, forever.

If you think Itachi is hot copy and paste this on to your profile!

If you think Madara is hot then copy and paste this on to your profile!

If you think Itachi's father and his clan (excluding Mikoto and and Sasuke when he was 7) can burn in hell copy and paste this on to your page!

If you think Pein could be the perfect brother for Sakura copy and paste this on to your page!

If you think the creater of Naruto should never had made Sakura so weak in the show copy and paste this on to your page!

Calling meFAKEwon't make youREAL

Calling meSTUPIDwon't make youSMART.

Calling meWEAKwon't make youSTRONG

Calling meUGLYwon't make youPRETTY

Calling mePOORwon't make youRICH

Calling meFATwon't make youPERFECT

Calling meUNCOOLwon't make youCOOL


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1. Pain of Siblings » reviews
Having a sister that's nine years younger than you can be quite the hassle, but when you run a big organization like Akatsuki? You love your sister, but sometimes, a sacrifice has to be made...sorry Sakura, you're going to Konoha. "Who are you?"
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 76,741 - Reviews: 75 - Updated: 1-23-12 - Published: 8-12-11 - Itachi U. & Sakura H.
2. Secrets » reviews
Sakura Haruno has something to hide from the world.It will all soon be exposed, or will it? Questions that are asked will be answered. Always known but never seen. Will she learn her own dark secrets though...or throw it all away...On Hiatus! 3 3
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 9 - Words: 35,002 - Reviews: 32 - Updated: 2-12-11 - Published: 9-27-08 - Sakura H.
3. Bonding Time reviews
Series of one-shots dedicated to Zetsu and Sakura's bonding times. There is no summary, cause each chapter is different. Review me prompts and ideas you've had for ZetSaku. Rules inside.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,551 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 12-29-10 - Zetsu & Sakura H.
4. Traveling Rin'negan » reviews
First time ever has there been two Rin'negan Users in the same century. Never the less the same decade. What will happen, now that the two Rin'negan users team up...? Who will win this war...?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,927 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 11-20-10 - Published: 2-9-10 - Sakura H. & Pain/Pein
5. The Demon Siblings of Darkness » reviews
Sakura Haruno is the owner of Darkness. It clings to her in the form of darkness, though she doesn't even know it yet. Sealed in her human form, her heart is as warm as the sun. Though soon, it'll be froze...DISCONTINUED. Sorry.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,535 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 8-8-10 - Published: 11-15-08 - Madara U. & Sakura H. - Complete
6. Darkened Cherry reviews
A dark princess rests in the simple Cherry Blossom, waiting...waiting...waiting...but wait, a dark prince is awake in the elder Uchiha...what will-no, what COULD happen once the dark princess awakens...? Read to find out. On Hiatus
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,222 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 8-8-10 - Madara U. & Sakura H.
7. The Next Rinnegan User » reviews
Sakura is the third Rinnegan user. Pein hears about it and trains her/In Prologue theres more information!\. What will happen to our dear Sakura-chan? Click the title of this story to find out :3 Sakux? RxR Also there's cookies in here! DISCONTINUED!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,096 - Reviews: 24 - Updated: 2-10-10 - Published: 7-23-08 - Sakura H. - Complete
8. My Little Spy! » reviews
Watch as Sakura grows from the little girl to the Little Spy for the Akatsuki and Itachi. Watch as she laughs in her prey's faces. New swords, new kills, watch out world, Sakura's not a happy girl. on Hiatus. Sorry.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Crime - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,349 - Reviews: 27 - Updated: 2-10-10 - Published: 6-19-08 - Itachi U.
9. Kitsune No Sakura At Your Service » reviews
Sakura Haruno\Daughter of Kyuubi and Minto/Strong as she could be, there's still trouble lumming everywhere\From Akatsuki, to Konoha, to villages, to searching for the demons/Now mix it all with a lot of demons and wat do ya get?\My story/On Hiatus\
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 48,002 - Reviews: 40 - Updated: 2-10-10 - Published: 6-11-08 - Sakura H.
10. Evil Is All Around Us » reviews
NoT/a\SoNgFiC! No matter what happens, they stood together. And it'll stay that way, even though they BOTH got bit by Oro-chan! No matter! They still hold secrets from each other that are exposed Sooner or later! On Hiatus. Sorry
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,783 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 2-10-10 - Published: 6-30-08 - Sakura H. & Sasuke U.
11. Combined Revenge » reviews
How harsh a change is measured by the change itself.Sakura gets changed by being taken away from her "family", Konan Nagato and Yahiko.Taken to Leaf, a grudge forms.Madara Uchiha is stirring up something in his pot, and Sakura is apart of it.on Hiatus
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,431 - Reviews: 29 - Updated: 2-10-10 - Published: 11-23-08 - Nagato & Sakura H.
12. Pure Blooded Love Bites » reviews
The Uchiha Clan holds a deep, dark secret that doesn't wish to be let free. Uchiha Sakura is that very secret. What happens if that secret stirs up the current Uchiha clan? Chaos will most likely ensue...watch out world, here she comes! On Hiatus
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 18,604 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 4-5-09 - Published: 1-10-09 - Madara U. & Sakura H.
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Community: Sadistic, Dark, and Bloodthirsty Sakura
Focus: Anime/Manga » Naruto

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