name:calais

fave books: twilight/new moon/ eclipse/ breaking dawn/ midnight sun, maximum ride, vampire kisses, the last aprintace, the vampire diaries, percy jackson and the olimpians, artemis fowl est...

im goth.

im an artist.

i cant spell worth a damn.

my computer hates me.

my scanner is freaking possesed... -_-

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If you have ever said ‘cross over to the dark side. We have cookies!’ to someone you know, copy this into your profile

Come to the dark side . . . WE HAVE COOKIES!

What happens in the case of the cat and the mouse if the cat is retarded?

Have you ever heard that stupidity is a virus? Careful you might catch it! Ahh, too late...

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

Perfection is a waste of time.

Regret nothing; deny everything.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe.

parents spend the first two years of your life teaching you how to walk and talk and the rest of it telling you to sit down and shut up.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face

Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler

Heaven doesnt wan't me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing confuses them more, and its annoying

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person,"What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Lola, Heather, Chris, Delilah, Edward, Diana, Brandon, Ivan, Andrea, calais.

95 of all teens would go into a panic if the Jonas brothers were on a 100 foot building about to jump. copy and paste this if you are one of the 5 who brought popcorn and invited friends while yelling "DO A FLIP!!"

Benefits of being a woman-
Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it. She Said: You wear pants don't you?

People often ignore the simple things in life. If someone really annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown. On the other hand, it only takes 4 muscles to reach over and bitch slap that mutha fucker upside the head.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen

Good friends will pick you up when you fall, BEST FRIENDS will push you back down and laugh

Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say "You have seven days to live"

Good friends will help you with your drug problem, BEST FRIENDS are the ones who sold it to you

A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going "We fucked up, huh?"

Good friends dont let you do stupid things, BEST FRIENDS don't let you do stupid things ALONE

A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. a best friend takes your and says, "RUN, BITCH, RUN!"

A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?!"

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!

A good friend helps you find your prince.A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will offer you a soda.A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you.A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled 'BANG', I don't think you'd kill to many people.

Mom: Remember, take only what you absolutely need. We can come back tomorrow for the other things.

Me: Woman, if you don't consider my music a necessity what do you consider a necessity, exactly?

Mom: I consider food a nessecity. Remind me to grab the cigarettes and vodka before we leave, would you?

Me: And I'm the one with a shrink.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If your like Sharpies, penguins, cookies, close friends, MSN, AIM, and the internet, copy this to your profile.

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you are absolutly in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur pro!

if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your pro

if you've ever walked into a wall b4 copy this into your pro

if you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your pro

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

When Life gives you lemons squirt them in Life's eyes!!

when life gives you skittles, throw them in the face of a random person and scream "TASTE THE FRICKIN RAINBOW!!"

A friend will help you move a body, a BEST friend will help you move the dead body of your ex boyfriend to a ditch on the side of the freeway!!

That, my children, is called a wall. but beware the wall is solid. yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Belive me children, for i have attempted this many times before.

Copy and paste this if you have ever been entranced by railroad tracks.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."

On a Korean kitchen knife:"Warning: keep out of children."

You Know You Live In 2010 When...

1. You accidently enter your password into your microwave

2. You haven't played solitair with real cards in years

3. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends are the don't have Aim, Myspace or a live journal

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pressing the power button on the tv

6. Your evening activity is sitting at your computer

7. As you read this list you think about sending it to all of your friends

8. You read this list and keep nodding and smiling

9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this

10. You were too busy to notice number five

11. You actually scrolled back up to see if there even was a number five

12. And now your laughing at your stupidity

13. You now plan to put this on your profile cause you fell for it

14. This was brought to us by the Jedi Mind Trick

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

If they say TV's so bad for you then why do they have one in every hospital room?

WHEN THE VERY FIRST MAN DISCOVERED THAT COWS HAVE MILK... WHAT DO YOU THINK HE WAS DOING??

All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have a nice day!

Before you critisize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you critisize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes.

"STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP!"-Captain Jack Sparrow

My cousin:( who is in fact, female) I'm a man.

My sister: (stops in mid sentence) WHAT!?

Me: (puts hand on my cousin's shoulder) You've been buying the wrong underwear.

My friend's mom: POOF! DAMMIT! YOUR STILL HERE

My Friend: (Rolls her eyes and taps her mom's head)

My friend's mom: POOF!

My friend: Quit

My Friend's mom: Poof?

My Friend: No

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Vampiress19, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese,Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly,VOLVO S60R, LoveMeForeverORLoveMeNever, EdwardEclipse, edwardxnora, Rowangirl96, niyuu

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

I love Y.A.O.I - Taste the Rainbow

Andy: Oh, come on, Arthur.
Arthur: I don't want to hear it, Andy.
Andy: Jesus Christ.
Arthur: He doesn't want to hear it either.
--The Book Thief

Me: I'll have the strawberry shortcake--on second thought, can I have you for dessert?
Ian (our waiter that night): Would you like me with or without whipped cream?

I'm a little tea pot short and stout. Here is my handle here is my... Well i'll be damned. I'm a sugar bowl.

SILENCE! I kill you!- Achmed the Dead Terrorist. Gotta love it.

Go straight to HELL. Do NOT pass Go, do NOT collect 200 dollars

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement imediately.

Ociffer, I swear to drunk, I'm not God.

SARCASM is just another free service i offer.

I like you. when the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.

I'm not ALWAYS late. Sometimes i just don't show up.

no, i will not kill the jews. I will toss a penny between them and watch them fight to the death...yes, yes, I did the same thing with two catholic priests once except i tossed in a small boy. The winner had to fight Michael Jackson!

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

If you're going to have two faces, can you at least make one of them pretty?

Knock knock. Who's there? Me, I kill you.

Don't let your mind wander. It's much to small to go unsupervised.

walk a mile in someone elses shoes. Then you're a mile away from them and you've got their shoes!

"Fang could turn men gay, but he wouldn't be gay with them. It's like a hit and run thing." - EdwardAddict

"And when we blow ourselves up, I'll be safe in my padded room and warm in my pretty white jacket." - EdwardAddict (That descrbes me perfectly!)

"A synonym is just a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of" -reader's digest

"Mommy, are those people on drugs?"
"No, honey, those are cosplayers. They don't have money for drugs."

"Friends are Gods way of apologizing to us for our families"

"HEY GET BACK HERE WITH THAT STAPLER! SANTA WON'T GET ME A NEW ONE UNTIL CHRISTMAS!"

"You know what? Go play in traffic!"

"You don't have to be very ninja like to trip her."

You kids and your crazy axes and fancy guillotines

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever heard of National Talk like a Pirate Day copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this into your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile. You already know this, look at the copy and paste thing above. Learn to sleep with your eyes open. He He He He.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

I believe that stupid comments are perfectly fine as long as they are followed by something sensible that is at least twice as long.

Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them.

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" - Arthur C. Clark

"I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image." - Stephen Hawking

I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. - Mahatma Gandhi

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done." - George Carlin

"Of course, I'd been drinking since lunch, so I was like 'take it down, I don't care. Hit somethin hard, I don't wanna limp away from this piece of shit.'"Ron White

"Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades."

"Atheism is a non-prophet organization." - George Carlin

"Me I'm dishonest, and you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest, honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for because you never know when they're going to do something incredibly stupid." -Captain Jack Sparrow

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally" - W. C. Fields

"The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide." -Unknown

"It's a sword. You've just been stabbed." Allen Walker (D.Gray-Man)

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.

"Jaws was framed! Flipper did it!"

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and leave the world to figure out how the hell you did it.

'Just imagine him in his underwear! OH NO, HE'S HOT!'-Squidward

'I don't like Lolly Pops...'-Artemis Fowl II

"Anything that can bleed for five days and not die is something to be feared."

"I would like it if the voices shut up every once and awhile. The one that speaks only Russian is starting to piss me off."

"come on fight like a girl! and you know what that means...TO THE DEATH!" -EMILIE AUTUMN

Now and then, I announce "I know you're listening." to empty rooms. If I'm wrong, no one knows. And if I'm right, I just freaked the hell out of some secret organization.

"And there you have your price. Your soul for a cookie." -Max

"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!" -Gazzy

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for."

"STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it." -Unknown

"Just because you call an electric eel a rubber duck doesn't make it a rubber duck, does it? And God help the poor bastard who decides they want to take a bath with the ducky."

Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightening kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.

"It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn." -Unknown

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak." -Unknown

"This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence." -Unknown

"You can't argue with all of the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they're not paying attention"

Soldier: "Sir, we're surrounded!" Major: "Good! Now we can attack from any direction!"

If "the pen is mightier than the sword", how come "actions speak louder than words"?

Once, I thought I made a mistake, but I was wrong.

Look wise. Say nothing. And eat only those who annoy you. A dragon's advice

“Can we see him?” –Iggy
“Ig, I hate to break this to you, but you’re blind.” –Max

“Of course, the prince gets his own bed all to himself.” –Max
“That’s right. The prince has a gaping side wound.” –Fang

"Peace, love and cookies."
"What kind?" -Ella and I, respectively.

"I thnk I finaly got usd to ths new kybord."
"Somehow, I doubt it." -Me and Ella, on the forums.

The situation is hopeless, but not serious.

“Did you just fall?"
"No I attacked the floor"
"With your face?"
"Yes I'm freaking talented"

"If you could have ONE wish, what would it be?"
"Three more wishes"

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege

Law of Gaga: (RAH)(AH)RO(MAMAMA)(GA)OOH(LA)= Bad Romance

Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal.

If my calculations are correct SLINKY ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

Beware the deadly donkey falling slowly from the sky,You can choose the way you live, my friend, but not the way you die!

If ya can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
If ya can’t join ‘em, bribe ‘em.
If ya can’t bribe ‘em, blackmail ‘em.
If ya can’t blackmail ‘em, kill ‘em.
If ya can’t kill ‘em, you’re screwed.1. You're reading this.

2. Now your saying/thinking that's a stupid fact.

4. You didn't notice that I skipped 3.

5. You're checking it now.

6. You're smiling.

7. You're wondering how a computer can read your mind.

8. You didn't notice that I skipped 7 either, you're not very observant.

9. You did not check this time.

10. That is good, you're learning to not let computers control your mind.

11. The thing is, I did not really skip 7

12. And, since I can read your mind I can tell you don't know how many lines I skipped without telling you.

14. Now you feel stupid, Mission accomplished.

(20 bucks says you're going to count the lines)Angelica: -pushes the babies-: "Out of my way babies! Only the prettiest, smartest, bestst girl gets the front seat."

Phil: "Then why is she in such a hurry?"Daria: Mr. O'Neill.

O'Neill: Oh. Daria. You startled me. I guess all this talk about ghosts, and exorcism has really put me a little on edge.

Jane: Hey, wanna see me twist my head around and around and around?Jane: Cheer, cheer, cheer. Yell, yell, yell. Who cares who wins? We're all going to Hell. (smirks) If my 'peppy' doesn't work for you, I could always try my 'perky.'Jane: (to Daria) Any kid who looks to you for nurturing is more than just lost.Daria :All right, let's not get panicked. We're going to look at the situation calmly and objectively. Agreed?

Quinn: Okay.

Daria: We're out in the middle of nowhere, no one knows we're here, we have no way to contact the outside world, and our parents have gone insane.

Quinn: Yes.

Daria: This is really scary Quinn.

Quinn: But why did they go insane?

Daria: Knowing Dad and his excellent woodland skills, I'd say it was the berries. Except...

Quinn: It couldn't have been the berries.

Daria: That's what I think. You ate them too and you seem okay.

Quinn: No, I meant because those weren't the glitter berries.

Daria: Glitter berries?

Quinn: You know, the glitter berries! The ones that fill your mouth with beautiful sparkling glitter when you bite into them. Those are the ones that make you act weird. I mean until you spread your shimmering wings and fly away.

Daria : Uh-oh.Artie: Could you hurry up? I got other pizzas to deliver, and if I don't get them there on time, they're free. I really gotta go.

Daria: On your way over here, you didn't see any, um, lights in the sky or anything?

Artie: Oh, no! They're back! (slams door closed) I hope they don't plan to experiment on me this time. I was a mess the last time. See, they replace your skin with synthetic skin that stretches real tight on your head in the summer. (time passes, in kitchen) That's why they come at night. It makes it easier to steal your dreams. They got this big, big suction device that... (time passes) ... and anyone who tells you aliens are taking over their body is nuts. All they want is our skin 'cause your skin remembers what it feels.

Trent: Hmm. Hey, you ever written any lyrics?

Artie: (pager beeps) Uh-oh. Fired again? Man, this happens all the time. Ever since my encounter with those darn aliens!London: Uh-huh

Maddy: Nah-uh

London: Don't you Nah-uh my uh-huh.see if you can do this:

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is dumbass cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top.

"I did not trip, I was testing gravity. It's ok. We're still good..."

"So there's this thing, that's very thing-ish. And when you poke it, it goes DING-A-LING-A-LING-A-LING!"

I'm a rabbit. Fear me

"Yay! Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!”- Tyson TBOTL

"It's a sword. You've just been stabbed." Allen Walker (D.Gray-Man)

I'm incognito.. Call me Fred
A GOD NAMED FRED?!

“Be yourself, don't take anyone's shit, and never let them take you alive.” -Gerard Way

"Pretending to play is always awkward... I feel like Ashley Simpson. Ooooh Zing!" -Frank Iero

“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.”

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.”

Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Paper may beat rock, but a cannon ball makes a big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

Definition of Your Mom: How to answer a question when you’re bored

Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some primitive areas.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

"The Butler did it. I don't know which one or how, but the butler did it." - someone while talking about Kuroshitsuji

I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun.

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren’t the ‘good things that come to those who wait’ just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?

Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Life sucks and then you die.

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why do people say, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? Why would someone get cake if they can’t eat it?

“When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade”

Don’t mess with me I’ve got a stick.

Darth Vader- "Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!"
Luke Skywalker- "Nah, the rebels have cake."
Darth Vader- "ooh! Can I be a rebel?!"

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on!

Larten: What is Coke or Sprite?
Maria: Ever heard of soda?
Larten: No.
Maria: Pop?
Larten: No.
Maria: How about carbonated-sugary-unhealthy-flavored-liquid-that-humans-often-drink?
Larten:...That does sound familiar...
Cirque Du Freak rules!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

I’m the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before homework.

Of course I’m talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

"PRUSSIA HAS OCCUPIED MY VITAL REGIONS!" - Austria Axis Powers Hetalia

"Man up, or I'll beat you with my Peace Prize!" - Switzerland Axis Powers Hetalia (Dub)

"No way! I cheated fair and square and I still lost!"

"Who's Zuko?"
"Oh just some angry freak with a ponytail."
-ATLA

In Soviet Russia, pedobear runs from children.

Excuse my English,I'm American

Sephiroth's evil plan:
Put a giant thick glass dome over Midgar where Cloud lives
Use the power of Windex to defeat Cloud by making him run into the GLASS!
Cloud:There's not a thing I don't-*THUNK!* Huh?! *Keeps hitting it* THISTIMETHISTIMETHISTIME,GAH!

Russia*jumps out of a plane* VODKAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Sebastian: "I hate dogs.. actually, I detest them."
Ciel: "Woof!"

Weird: A title of pride handed to individuals who break away from what is publicly accepted as modest, popular, and/or well-known; to not fall in with the crowd; different; one of a kind.

"I need Guys...well...not these guys because they're kinda dead."-Joker

"haters are like crickets. They chirp all fucking day and when you walk by them, they shut the fuck up."

I reject your cannon, and substitute my own.

--[O.o] - Moo, I'm a pig.-"--"-[.] - Dude, you're an owl.-"--"-[O.O] - My mother has lied to me!-"--"-