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| Velvet Liquor |
Author has written 12 stories for Twilight, Series Of Unfortunate Events, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Maximum Ride, Sweeney Todd, Spider-Man, and Mortal Instruments. Hi. I like to write parodies (In case you haven't noticed). My first parody was Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. I worked really hard on it, and I'd really appreciate it if you guys reviewed it and told me what you think about it. My second parody was Twilight. I know I'm gonna get flamed big time on that one, but I just couldn't resist it. Likes: Parodies, HP, LOTR, ASOUE... dislikes: Dumb people, anime/manga (What can I say? It's at the point where it has become so cliche and moronic. It's not considered anime any longer when dumb little American preteens go around abusing it), the Twilight series (What? Meyer couldn't write her way out of a paper bag)... Gender: Female, but I act more like a dude than a dudette. Age: 17 Feel free to email me any time, because no matter what, I'll always get back to you. Well, unless I die, but hopefully that won't happen for a while... So far, all my parodies have been reviewed by an unknown person calling him/herself "Twilight_Lover." So, I'm going to comment on her reviews. "Omg! I hate this story! u totaly runied the series! how dare u make fun of bella and edward's love? u should b ashamed of urself!" If you hated the parody, why did you even finish reading it? Yes, I know I ruined the series, that's what I like about that parody. I made fun of Edward and Bella's love (If that's what you call such folly behavior) because it was so bloody easy. Yes, I am so ashamed of my parody, that's obviously why I posted it on the internet, right? "Dis parody is so dum! i have so many cumplaints! why does evry1 make dumblydore gay in their parudys? r u so dumb u had to put ur own ferret in ur dum parody? all da charters r ooc! if u think this peece of crap is fuuni, then ur dum! i din't even crack a smile!" I know it's dumb, most parodies are. I made Dumbledore gay because J.K. Rowling herself stated that he was gay. Dude, you can diss me all you want, but leave my ferret out of it! Of course they're OOC, it's a freaking parody! You know what makes me crack a smile? Your grammar. 6-3-08: You have no idea how hard I've been laughing for the past two minutes! I was reading over my Twilight parody, and what do I find at the very bottom of the page? An advertisment for "The Host" by Stephenie Meyer. Oh, the irony...In fact, I think I'll read "The Host" just so I can write a parody for it. That is, if the peeps on FanFic want me to write one... (I don't want to write it if no one will enjoy laughing at it.) I've been currently working on a few new parodies (My apology to all my fans of the Twilight and New Moon parodies, because chances are the Eclipse parody won't be coming for another month or two.) Anyway, my newest parody on Fanfiction.net is "The Bad Beginning: A Parody", so check it out. Also, I'm about to upload my Lord of the Rings script in a few days. And for all those comic book lovers out there, I'm working on a Spiderman script. I have two new Harry Potter parodies to upload, but those probably won't be on the site for another two weeks or so. And for all you Square Enix fans, I have a special mystery parody that I've been working on, so stay tuned for that one. Also, I'm currently taking requests for parodies, so if you have something that you'd really like to parody, and you're too lazy to do it yourself, just send me an email and I'll get started on your parody (Unless it's really lame. Sorry, I know it's harsh, but I have a reputation to take care of.), and I'll even dedicate it to you. Also, guys, please leave me some reviews when you get finished reading my parodies. Over 400 people have read my Twilight parody, but I only have twenty-two reviews (Pretty pathetic, huh?). THE BREAKING DAWN PARODY IS FINALLY HERE!! PARTS I AND II ARE ALREADY UP, AND PART III WILL SOON BE JOINING THEM! Also, while everyone is enjoying the Breaking Dawn parody for Christmas, I will be slaving away on the Eclipse parody. And after that, I'll begin to write up a parody for the released chapters of Midnight Sun. | |||||||||
1. City of Morons » reviewsWhen Clary meets Shadowhunter Jace, she is sucked into the violent world of cliche puns, plagiarizing authors, Chris Crocker impersonators, and 'hawt' urine-haired teens with daddy issues. What's a gawky ginger to do? Become a Shadowhunter herself, DUH.Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 17,366 - Reviews: 72 - Updated: 12-30-11 - Published: 6-16-102. Only Fang reviewsDespite her dreams, Max knows that she doesn't need Dylan. Max knows that she doesn't need anyone. Or does she? Late entry for that 'lost chapter' contest they put out for the last book. One-shot FAX Sort ofMaximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 700 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-1-11 - Max & Dylan - Complete3. Twilight: The Not So Broadway Musical reviewsSparkling bloodsuckers, telepathic werewolves, and flamboyant Italian vampires, oh my! Sing-alongs with Jacob, opera with Bella, and balads with Edward! Complete with a fully-functioning Volturi choir!Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,841 - Reviews: 32 - Updated: 3-18-10 - Published: 3-8-09 - Bella & Edward4. Sweeney Todd: The Bipolar Parody of Fleet Street » reviewsThe brooding misadventures of a depressive barber. Join Sweeney Todd as he gets sucked into a jaw-breaker, Anthony hides in Johanna's closet, and Spiderman joins Sweeney to destroy a killer lump of dough in Mrs. lovett's bakery. Sweeney/EVERYONESweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 19,770 - Reviews: 80 - Updated: 2-20-10 - Published: 6-22-095. Holy Crow, My Soul Mate Glitters! reviewsWhen Bella Swan meets sparkly Edward Cullen, her life turns upside down. As she falls deeply in love with the boy she met only two days ago, she realizes love *COUGH*lust*COUGH* always comes with a heavy price to pay, including hungry hobo vampires.Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,660 - Reviews: 42 - Updated: 11-8-09 - Published: 5-11-086. She Dumped My Sparkly Self For a Wheelchair » reviewsAro and Carlisle have a fling, Jacob makes out with Renesmee, and Bella leaves Edward for Billy's wheelchair.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,456 - Reviews: 25 - Updated: 7-8-09 - Published: 12-22-087. Spiderman in Five Minutes reviewsThe adventures of Spiderman, A.K.A. Gooey Wrist Man! Along with his witty pet rat, Lumpy, nerdy Peter Parker embarks on a perilous quest to save NYC from transvestite villains, Latino cockroaches, and random black men who think they're God in technicolorSpider-Man - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,426 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-5-098. A Series Of Random and Ridiculous Occurrences » reviewsEyebrow wigglin', Austin Powers announces that certain characters have the mojo, and drunk people understand Sunny's baby language.Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 13,103 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 6-18-09 - Published: 6-3-089. Maximum Ride in Five Minutes » reviewsFlying kids on crack? Ari rides a flying rainbow? Max, after communicating with plants, is on a mission to save the world's population of trees? And why is James Patterson wearing a blonde wig and singing to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"?Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,646 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 4-14-0910. Diary of a Man With Schizophrenic Tendencies » reviewsWhen timid Dr. Jekyll creates rambunctious Mr. Hyde, the only thing that can ensue is randomness, crack humor, and, to the horror of all, impossible slash. After all, they share the same mind.Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 1,732 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 4-11-09 - Published: 4-10-09 - H. Jekyll & E. Hyde11. The Twilight Parodies: Deleted Scenes » reviewsDid you laugh at Velvet Liquor's Twilight parodies? Well, for the first time ever, we've got deleted scenes too shocking, gut-wrenching, and mind-bogglingly random and ridiculous to put in one parody!Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,374 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 11-25-08 - Published: 10-19-0812. Telepathic Wolves and Flamboyant Italian Vampires reviewsBella is a zombie, Stephenie Meyer's car is stolen, and Edward's vampire family members finally get their screen time.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,408 - Reviews: 25 - Published: 5-12-08 - Complete
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