Delia Lavender

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since	: 05-04-08, id: 1568044, Profile Updated: 04-20-09

Author has written 16 stories for Lost.

Hi Readers!

I discovered fanfiction some years ago. I read a lot of stories without much urge to write something myself. Mostly I just admired the usefulness of fanfiction as guided creative writing project. And many of the stories were GREAT!

I suppose it was inevitable I'd want to write something, someday. I've never written a short story before, so I wondered if I could do it. A certain situation on LOST was my inspiration...I wanted Mr. Locke to meet a woman he couldn't ignore. I've never believed the writers on LOST took human nature into account when it comes to him. In a real-life survival situation, Locke would be the uncontested leader. Any man who could literally "bring home the bacon" would be the man who would hold the most power. Not even Dr. Jack would be able to compete. And, since I'm married to a Locke-type and know something about the breed, I can offer you advice on what to do if you encounter a Locke in the wild. Whether he's in the urban jungle or following you home:

1. Once the Locke has spotted you, freeze...DO NOT RUN! He might mistake you for prey if you do! Remain passive and above all, DON'T TURN YOUR BACK.

2. Let the Locke investigate you. Allow him to sniff and paw...DO NOT PANIC. If he growls at you, ignore it. Make no sudden moves. If he seems receptive, SLOWLY begin to stroke him...make no sudden moves. Stop if he gets upset. Resume passivity.

3. Remember that a Locke WANTS to be loved. Talk soothingly to him, offer him a treat (he'll take anything you've got - especially twinkies - but be careful, he might want something a little more personal). Remember that a Locke is very loyal, affectionate and protective - it's in his nature. Please don't let this noble beast shiver on your doorstep - bring him in and give him a bath. He'll be VERY grateful.

4. If you've followed this advice and you're still alive, congratulations - you have a friend for life.

By the way...my Locke was an engineer/karate instructor. Unusual combination. You're either getting tossed around or lectured on mathematics

I just love parody, don't you? (lol!)

In addition to my seven LOST/Locke romances, I've written a Cthulhu Mythos/LOST crossover story, in which Great Cthulhu's daughter, Cthilda, has romantic feelings toward Ben. My latest is a "Harsh Realms" fanfiction where General Santiago finds "love" while eradicating a group of neo-Greco pagans. "Harsh Realms" was a very short-lived series created in 1999 by Chris Carter, of X-Files fame. It's now available on DVD. It had an interesting premise and deserved a larger audience.

Happy reading!

Delia

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1. Island Escape! reviews
This ends the series "Island Angst", "Island Spy", & "Island Proposal". John Locke & Crystal Flower's raucous Island wedding! Jack, James & their escape plans! What can go wrong? Drama & parody...rated T for language & situation. Please R&R.
Lost - Rated: T - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,144 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11-14-09 - Jack & Sawyer - Complete

2. Island Proposal reviews
Everyone deserves love, right? Even John Locke, the Island Dictator? Another experiment in short, short, story writing. Related to "Island Angst" and "Island Spy". Please R&R...I'm wondering whether to continue this. The next might be "Island Escape"!
Lost - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 823 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-20-09 - Locke

3. Island Spy reviews
My experiment continues - this time with Sawyer. What nefarious activities has James been up to, after "The Incident"? Warning: salty language and dicey situations...remember - this is Sawyer! Rated T. Reviews - good or bad - are welcome. Hope you enjoy!
Lost - Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,437 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9-12-09 - Sawyer & Jack - Complete

4. Island Angst reviews
What is the WORST case scenario for Jack Shepherd following "The Incident"? Here is MY version. Spoilers to Season 5. Rated T.
Lost - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 659 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 8-26-09 - Jack & Richard - Complete

5. Secretarial Hell
Warning: Not politically correct! Rated T for salty language, etc. NOTE: I DO NOT OWN LOST, John Locke or any other character from the T.V. series. I write only for fun. A fed-up secretary confronts her lecherous boss and the dead return! Satire, R&R.
Lost - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,390 - Published: 7-26-09 - Locke - Complete

6. The Hunt For Locke's Libido
I've succumbed to self parody...all for you. The SLL Club is on expedition... and saving the mighty Locke's Libido is their objective! What will befall them as they wend their way thru the jungle? Rated T. Reviews are cherished as usual. Hope you enjoy!
Lost - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,978 - Published: 6-14-09 - Locke

7. Save Locke's Libido! reviews
Somewhere on a South Pacific Island...a John Locke's Libido is endangered! Who will go to his aid? Do you have it in your heart to help? Parody and humor...the result of a private joke with friend Will. Rated T. R&R. Hope it makes you laugh!
Lost - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 238 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5-31-09 - Locke

8. Jacob's Daughter reviews
The Scarlet Shift needed a rewrite...and a title change! So here it is COMPLETE! What does the Dark Man have against Jacob? Could Jacob's beautiful, wayward daughter be playing a role? Rated T for violence and...you know. Reviews encouraged. Thanks!
Lost - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,158 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5-27-09 - Richard - Complete

9. The End Of Lulu reviews
This story ends my series of "Lulu Alpert" stories. The others were "The Courtship Of Lulu", "The Marriage Of Lulu" and "Raunchy Games". Lulu Alpert seeks to escape her overheated husband, John Locke...but can she? SHOULD she? What about the baby?
Lost - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,002 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3-23-09 - Locke & Richard - Complete

10. Raunchy Games reviews
Lulu Alpert...forced to marry John Locke, The Chosen One. What was it like for her, when they were alone? Despotic Locke and his strange games... Reviews are very welcome!
Lost - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,546 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2-26-09 - Locke & Richard

11. Cthilda reviews
Has anyone else noticed how...Lovecraftian LOST Island can be? A fit of inspiration led me to write a LOST/Cthulhu Mythos crossover. Yikes! Pity poor Boone and Shannon! Flame me...I don't care. It was FUN!
Lost - Rated: T - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 835 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2-21-09 - Boone & Shannon - Complete

12. Cooking Lesson reviews
The sequel to "Dinnertime For Mr. Locke". POV Miranda. Rated T for "slightly smutty". What does Miranda REALLY think of John Locke? And what does she fear the most? Can a cooking lesson truly save her casserole? Please R&R...I'd adore a review!
Lost - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,827 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1-31-09 - Locke & Richard - Complete

13. The Marriage Of Lulu reviews
Ever wonder what happened after Lulu Alpert ritually married John Locke? Well, this story answers a question or two...such as why she was ever placed in such a position. Please R&R...I'd LOVE some input!
Lost - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 705 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 1-13-09 - Locke - Complete

14. The Courtship Of Lulu
Lulu is Richard's cousin, but she rejects the destiny he plans for her...which also means rejecting John Locke. An "Evil Locke" story, it was formerly rated "M" because of its forced marriage theme. Please review... I really would appreciate it!
Lost - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,264 - Published: 12-29-08 - Locke & Juliet - Complete

15. Dinnertime For Mr Locke
Every night Richard sends another woman to bring the poor, lonely "Chosen One" his dinner...but suppose "The Chosen One" wants more from one of them? I LOVE reviews...bad or good. Rated T for John's racy fantasies!
Lost - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,462 - Published: 12-28-08 - Locke & Richard - Complete

16. Jungle John Finds A Mate
Poor, overwrought, embittered Locke finds a forgotten 815 Survivor in the jungle. It's farce at first sight...and a few other things. Rated for language and situation.
Lost - Rated: M - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,083 - Published: 11-5-08 - Locke & Vincent - Complete

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