Hey there! We're the mutant penguins! Our names are Rags to Riches and Ember, and we're totally insane. But that's beside the point.

EDIT: See that "homepage" button/link/thing? That's our livejournal. If you want to know why we haven't updated a certain fic, check there and there just might be an excuse. We'll be using it fairly frequently.

Hey, Rags to Riches! Let's make profiles for each other! I'll start:

Name: Rags to Riches

Location: Somewhere

Eyes: Yes

Hair: Yes

Sex: No, thanks.

Brain: sometimes (we share it)

Stories:

1) A Tale of Two Foxes (tentative title) (Black Cat, Sven/OC and Train/OC, chaptered)-- in writing

2) (untitled as of yet) (Black Cat, mentions of Train/Sephiria, chaptered)-- in writing

Fangirls for: Sven Vollfied (Black Cat), Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist. He's mine, though.)

Wild Parties: Only when I'm hosting them.

Knowledge of Spelling and Grammar: No

You know what Ember you are a dork. Now that we have that established on to the super special awesome profile!

Name:Ember

Location: Who knows?

Eyes: She has two as far as I know

Hair: Turns emo at times

Sex: Waiting for marriage

Brain: Only when I'm not hogging it

Stories:

1) Something My Brother Said (Fruits Basket, Yuki-centric, one-shot)-- it's posted, yay! NOTE: THANK YOU to the person who according to our Reader Traffic is from Ireland who was the first person to read this. (We know. We were compulsively refreshing the screen until someone read it.) Irish people, gotta love 'em. They rock.

2) Flashes of Gold (Fullmetal Alchemist, Roy-centric Ed/Roy, one-shot)-- COMPLETE! And you know what? Since I'm a sucker for reviews there's a sequel!

3) Beautiful Darkness (Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed-centric Ed/Roy, one-shot)-- ALSO COMPLETE!! sequel to Flashes of Gold

4) Wearing White (Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed/Roy, one-shot)-- COMPLETE!! Ember just LOVES moving stories over to the completed phase. It's so empowering... sequel to Beautiful Darkness and Flashes of Gold

5) Worth Saving (Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed-centric Ed/Roy, one-shot)-- it's here, folks.

6) The Acquiring of Knowledge (Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed/OC, chaptered)-- DONE!

7) Of Dye and Superiors (Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed/Roy, one-shot)-- done. This was kind of a random idea that was speedwritten, but Ember's happy with it.

8) Of Lace and Love (Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed/Roy, one-shot)-- see info for 7) Of Dye and Superiors.

9) Color (Fullmetal Alchemist, vaguely Ed/Roy, one-shot)-- done. Yes. Whee. Plot bunnies keep ambushing poor Ember.

10) Never Let Go (Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed/Roy, one-shot)-- also done. Wow. Ember does a lot of Ed/Roy one-shots, does she not?

11) What Really Matters (Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed/Roy, two-shot)-- complete with bonus fluff. Read and enjoy.

12) For the Love of Music! (Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed/Roy, chaptered)-- Ember LOVES writing this, so thanks to everyone who voted it in in the poll that was given... Ember thinks it was with Wearing White. It really is so much fun to write Ed and Roy in high school... no idea why. It's Ember's new baby now. In the posting process.

13) Life (tentative title, Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed/OC, chaptered)-- This is Ember's other baby, in the works as well. It was runner-up in the poll mentioned above.

14) Worth Every Moment (Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed/Winry, one-shot)-- Geez. Ember went Ed/Winry? Really?

15) Best Idea Ever (Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed/Roy, one-shot)-- Heehee. That was fun.

Fangirls for: Train Heartnet (Black Cat), Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist, she owns him), Yuki Sohma (Fruits Basket)

Wild Parties: Only with imaginary characters from mangas

Knowledge of Grammar and Spelling: GRAMMAR NAZI!!(Not joking)

Hey! It's Ember again! I know! I feel like asking pointless questions and answering them! And so...

Q: Why!?

A: Good question. Next question.

Q: Are you two one person?

A: Contrary to popular belief, no. However, we are married four times. (Don't ask. It's a long story. EDIT: We are also engaged a fifth time. Not sure when that marriage will be.)

Q: What happens in your stories?

A: Maybe you would know if you READ THEM.

Q: Which of you reads more on this site, anyway?!

A: That would be Ember. She is the filter. She reads it and if it's in good taste she passes it along to Rags to Riches. Ember's innocence may have been totally destroyed by a few wrong clicks on this site, but she'll do her best to protect what was once her other half. Rags to Riches says she has no innocence, she just doesn't want to read smut and wants a plot. Yes. Plot, please!

EDIT A: Now it's Rags to Riches, as Ember's parents are idiotic and BLOCKED THE SITE. She sneaks on every once in a while, mainly to post things, but Rags to Riches is her lifeline and her dear love. (Strike that, my reviewers are my lovers... :D_Ember)

2ND EDIT A: Back to Ember. Ember loves her nice mommy.

Q: Are you OCD?

A (Rags to Riches): No... Yes, I am.

A (Ember): Absolutely not! And even if I was, I'd deny it. After all, I AM the Queen of De Nial. When my characters aren't drowning in it. And sometimes when they are.

Q: Are you ADD?

A: No, we are ADOS. For those of you who don't know what that means, it is as follows: Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!!

Q: Have you written anything together?

A: As a matter of fact, we have! Our story Ding (Fullmetal Alchemist, Ed/Roy, one-shot) was written over instant messaging and then posted with minimal editing to make it make sense. If you're interested in how our minds work and don't mind yaoi, check it out!

Hey, there, Ember here with a fascinating glimpse into the minds of the mutant penguins at work! Er, school. Hey, the AP Chemistry teacher didn't mind TOO much...

E: ...Help me. The st00p1d factor is rising exponentially!

RtR: It's too late for me, run while you still can! I'll fight them off!

E: Wow. Harry Potter style. In that case, since I'll die to save Iodo (our son (what happens when you have sex outside of marriage, pretty much a ball and stick model of... Ember thinks it was either cyclohexane or glucose)), see you on the other side soon.

RtR: You don't think I can remember the name of our own son?! How dare you! Hmph. See if I save your sorry @.

E: I just had to make it clear. Remember, these chats tend to get passed around a lot (and now posted). I know you know our son.

RtR: True. Fine, I'll save your @ only for you to die anyway making my death utterly pointless... Never mind. I'm still not saving you. See ya, suckers!

E: So I'll save you pointlessly? Ok then. Just know that I love you with all my spleen and... about half my stomach (I think.)

RtR: Good. You die and I get to cash in on your like 10 billion life insurance policies.

E: Since when did I have 10 billion? And you won't die to save our son?! Then I won't die to save you! Hmph.

RtR: I wasn't going to make you saving me necessary. I was going to save you and then you were going to throw your life away after I so gallantly saved it to save our son. Besides, the term "like" indicates an exaggeration.

E: Lolz. How about we all run off to... either Ireland or Mexico, thus making dying unnecessary?

RtR: I vote Ireland.

E: Ireland it is, then. Let's go! Though it's a shame we missed out on St. Patrick's Day...

RtR: The guy wasn't even Irish. I think he was Welsh.

E: Hmm, always thought he was British, myself.

RtR: He might have been... that's a good question... anyway, he wasn't Irish.

E: Nope.

RtR: Besides, we'll catch it next year.

E: That we will... hey, how would the Harry Potter series have turned out if Lily and James were as smart as us?

RtR: I dunno, maybe Voldemort would be dead? Like forever, not popping up at every other intersection in his car at a red light.

E: Nice imagery. Me likey. Wouldn't he be most upset if he was caught at every red light?

RtR: Duh, that's why he's so freaking angry at Harry Potter all the time! Harry's the little man in the big tower controlling the lights, you know.

E: Your family told you about the little man too? Creepy... (note: Ember says this whenever she and Rags to Riches have a similar moment (which happens a LOT).)

RtR: It's him. I swear.

E: I'd believe it. No wonder so many fuses blow up.

RtR: Yup.

E: Hmm. I'm seeing a bad fanfic coming on... but I want to finish the other two I'm working on first.

RtR: That could be a fun one.

E: That it could be. But Ed1 and Roy are in the middle of an awkward situation and Ed2's still bawling in front of Steven.

RtR: Heehee and aww.

E: You know, it's strange to refer to the Eds in my different stories like that.

RtR: And yet, somehow I knew exactly what you meant.

E: Well, that's because you're pretty much me.

RtR: Yup. Hey, we should post this conversation.

E: Ok.

AND SO, YOU HAVE SEEN INTO OUR MINDS. OH SNAP.

No, Roy, we did not actually want you to snap. Now go fix Ember's basement.

UPDATE: ON ROLLER COASTERS

So Ember and Rags to Riches went to a theme park today and rode all the roller coasters at least once (many of them twice; we're adrenaline junkies and proud of it). Then Ember came up with the strangest analogy for roller coasters. If you run screaming at the vaguest mention of... bedroom activities... run away now.

So Ember was like, "You know, great roller coasters are kinda like great sex (or so we presume, anyway). You see, it's really exhilarating, much better the second time, and you can't walk straight after. Plus on the really good times you're almost never quite sure which way is up and you're generally screaming." Strange but true. So now when you ride roller coasters, think of us. Think of hot sex. Just please not at the same time.

And then we took pictures of our feet. Just because. Deal with it.

Laterz!!

Ember and Rags to Riches-- the mutant penguins