Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

I want child abuse to stop, and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile.

My name is sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I started to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

(This is very sad, please and post this You better for others may read and feel the same as us)

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it , moodiful819, thecrazyfatguy, CheshireMax, Lover Of Animes, xxTwisted Dark Dreamsxx, SakuraBlossom24

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line(HAH! Copy this into your profile if you find this funny))

Heaven won’t take me and hell’s afraid I’ll take over
Hell was full, so I came back
Life ends but revenge is forever
I’d be good if I could, but I can’t so I won’t
People have hope Because the cannot see death standing behind them

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

Specify that your drive-through order is to go. It confuses people.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him!

If swimming is so good for your figure, then explain whales!

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?!

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

"cheer, cheer, yell, yell, it doesn't matter, we're all going to hell"

"Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation, we'd all run around in a dark room munching pills and listening to repetitive music."

"Somewhere people are plotting against you and I am probably among them."

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it."

You know, it would be REALLY funny if someone found irrefutable proof that Jesus was a gay black man."

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!"

"Boldly Going Nowhere"

"Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window."

"those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do"

"Dying is just natures way of saying 'Hey! Your not alive anymore!'"

"Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it."

"I love him, O yes I do,
He's for me, not for you,
And if by chance you take my place,
I'll take my fist and smash your face!"

FAVORITE QUOTES: (some off others profile)

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

When life gives you lemons, give them back and DEMAND CHOCOLATE.

When life gives you lemons, give them back and demand cash.

Suicide is a way of telling God, "YOU CAN'T FIRE ME,I QUIT!"

Death is a way of God telling you not to be a wise guy.

If at first you don't succeed, then destroy all evidence that you tried.

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

Its tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

Evening news is where they tell you 'good evening' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange peoplel them.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. - Anonymous

Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God. - Anonymous

Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about six days, take a look around, then close them again for the better part of their lives. - Stephen Baker

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Her dad was a drunk
her mom was an addict
her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
and had patches of hair

She always talked to it
when no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
some more and more pain
she’ll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
a scar on her face
why would she be
in such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

"living is the day worth dying for"-Captain Barbosa (Geoffery Rush) ((Pirates of the Carribean 3- At World's End))

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Don't bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout. (this is not stealing, they did not own the items yet, they were simply 'moving them around')

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into erotic poses. (be creative with the gift-wrap tubes used in point 6).

9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.

12. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob', and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary).

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"

15. When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal. (Note- if you don't actually own a car and walked to the store, attempt the above by substituting car keys with your house keys).

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

18. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.

19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.

20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right dammit!!" Make a scene.

21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."

26. Climb things.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. Once you have mastered this, progress to "boobs".

29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."

31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a 'Shnerple' looks like to assist them.

32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

33. Take bets on the battle from above.

34. Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: Marco Polo.

43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.

45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels.

46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'.

47. Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."

49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

Isnt it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a mini with a tshirt that barely cover anything?

Isnt it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful?

ISN'T IT FUNNY that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone? are you laughing?

Isnt it funny a emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?

ISN'T IT FUNNY that you dont mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?

I'm not laughing.

ITS SO FUNNY that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.

ISN'T IT FUNNY that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.

HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OF LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS? KEEP ON LAUGHING!

isnt it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life without knowing her situation with her friends or her family or her LIFE!

BRAVE ISNT GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING!

BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND!

BRAVE IS GOING TO SCHOOL ON MUFTI DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WORLD AROUND YOU IS SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES. ITS LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT!

ITS GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET. ITS KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS!

BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMOROW ISNT A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE ITS ANOTHER DAY OF COMPLAINING AND DODGING RUMORS! KEEP ON LAUGHING.

if you agree put this on your profile and advise others to do the same

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Make your mother proud, dont smoke pot or stop breathing because Abrocrombie and Fitch tell you its not cool to breath.

1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. When you are told "well you deserve better" by others, I will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something

right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be

stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the

fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those

who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he

will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12

people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

ONE FOR THE GIRLS!

(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "i'll miss you..."

(2)Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death. AMEN

(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Robert Frost

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!

This has got to be one of the funniest things I have ever read:

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole."

"Forgetting doesn't make it better, it just makes it hurt again when I remember"

"Life is a rollar coaster, and I'm not strapped in."

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

They laugh because we're losers...
We laugh because they just figured it out.

People say I'm stupid, I tell them not to be jealous!

Fire and Ice

"I cause cancer. Tee hee." ~ Multiple 'People'

"If you know me, chances are you hate me." ~ Anonymous

"Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over." ~ Anonymous

"When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back." ~ Anonymous

"Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit and shut up.” ~ Anonymous

"Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it." ~ Anonymous

"Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through." ~ Anonymous

"The cracks in the cement are a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break." ~ Anonymous

"Anyone can be called a father, but only some can be a dad." ~ Anonymous

"Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy...because it takes one smile to cover up a million tears." ~ Anonymous

"If the heart is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break?" ~ Anonymous

"Friends are like butt cheeks, shit may come between them, but they always stick together." ~ Anonymous

"I like the idea of karma; you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it." ~ Anonymous

"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life." ~ Anonymous

"Sex is evil, evil is sin, sin is forgiven, so stick it right in!" ~ Anonymous

"Virginity is like a balloon, one small prick and it's gone forever." ~ Anonymous

"Sex is temptation caused by sensation, when a guy puts his location into a girl's destination, to increase population for the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" ~ Anonymous

"They say one day your whole life will flash before your eyes, make it worth watching." ~ Anonymous

"I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes." ~ Anonymous

"I’m not clumsy…the floor just hates me." ~ Anonymous

"Anyone can reach their stars…and if you can’t reach, catch one that falls." ~ Anonymous

"You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor." ~ Anonymous

"Behind every bitch is a guy who made her that way." ~ Anonymous

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." ~ Anonymous

"Ever stopped to think and forgot to start again?" ~ Anonymous

"Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer." ~ Anonymous

"Okay, so what's the speed of dark?" ~ Anonymous

"I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer,"~Max

"For God's sake, Nudge, my ears are bleeding!"~Iggy

"Nope," I said. "We're kinda low-tech than that." Like, having Kleenex would be a huge step up for us. ~Max

'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' Gazzy barked.”

'We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?' (Max)
He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. 'She offered to cook breakfast.'" (Fang)

"'You were designed to be very smart, Max,' she told me.’We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing.' (The director)
'And yet I still can't program my DVD player,' I said." (Max)

"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger, Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die"- Mel Brooks

"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."
- Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated

Crazy is a relative term in my family!

Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you!

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone

Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go

"Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You
guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it..."

Hi, you know the drill.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Why are the Force and ductape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'll die and it will be ALL YOUR

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.

You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set.

The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back in.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Music is love in search of word.

It's a fusion of Jazz and funk-is called 'Junk'!

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

"When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own damn lemonade"

Assassination is an extreme form of censorship

The sun has set, the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison!

"I know everything, as I continue to remind you." -Fang

Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick

He said I love you, I laughed and said sorry I'm allergic to bullshit

I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

When I say LOL I'm not laughing out laud. I just have nothing better to say.

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers