Hello, welcome to my profile. My name is Katerina, but call me Kati.

Information

Name: Katerina

Nickname(s): Kati, Kat-Kat

Age: 21

Favorite Manga: Naruto, Code Geass, Trinity Blood,

I'm kind of a bubbly person, really upbeat and I like to hang out with my friends. I'm bad at spelling and I love writing anyways.

I love music, especially rock. My favorite band is Queen.

Hi, I'm Sesshi-chan but call me Emma. In case you didn't already know I'm a girl, I love manga and I love writing. This account is not my first FanFiction.net account. My other account, darkestxninja, cannot be used any longer. A friend in real life managed to get the account name and she has threatened to tell my parents. Yes, I am under 18. I don't want them to know so I had to change accounts. If you received a PM from darkestxninja, which means that you reviewed/favorited any of those stories, you have come to the right account. Thank you. Disregard the earlier info, it's to mess with my friend

My old stories from Darkestxninja are all here. There are new stories as well. Some of the stories even have sequels in the making.

Angelic Blossom=Angel's Blossom

Demonic Sand= Demon's Sand

Different=Different Life (Someone didn't know about the switch and left me a review about this one)

In the Hospital= Hospital Romance

Prisoner= Imprisoned

Moon of Regrets= Repentant Moon

That Day= Terrible Day

Greatest Pain= What Hurts the Most

You get the idea. I don't come up with creative names

NOTICE: If you are going to be a homophobe, you have to get by me. I recently found out I was gay and I have gay friends too. Homophobia is for morons.

NOTICE: IMPORTANT! If you want me to write another sequel to the Gaa/Saku set (Demon's Sand, Angel's Blossom, Angels and Demons) then I have to finish the two stories I'm working on and each of my stories has to get a review. All of them. Please review them, I won't write a 4th until I get some more reviews on the stories already posted! So read and review!

My favorite manga

Bleach

Rurouni Kenshin

Naruto

Inuyasha

Beyblade

Death Note

Skip Beat

One Piece

Full Metal Alchemist

Fruits Basket

Hikaru no Go

Black Cat

Dr. Slump

Chibi Vampire

My favorite Bleach characters are Renji, Toshiro and Uliquora. My favorite blades are Hourinmaru and Zabimaru.

My favorite Naruto characters are Gaara, Itachi, Deidara and Neji. My favorite technique is Ryuusa Bakuryuu, Sand Tsunami. My favorite of the kunoichi are Temari (She kicks ass), Anko (Same) and Tenten (She and Neji are my favorite couple EVER) My favorite of the clans is the Hyuga. I love Neji. Hence my avatar... Yes, I do know that I have an obsession.

My favorite Inuyasha character is... Sesshomaru! Bet you could have guessed that. (Same type of character and “Sesshi-chan”) My second favorite is either Inuyasha or Sango. Sango kicks butt!

My favorite characters from Beyblade are Tala (FRICKEN AWESOME), Bryan (He makes the cheerful "Lets Beyblade!" music go away) and Rei. He's actually really cool. The bitbeasts I like are Wolborg (Because I love wolfies), and Gallux. Don't ask why, I just do.

My favorite character from Rurouni Kenshin is Soujiiro, then Kamatari, then Sano. I love this manga so much. I wish it didn’t end.

My favorite Death Note character is Rem. She's just cool.

My favorite Skip Beat characters are Kyoko's inner demons, Kanae and Ren.

My favorite One Piece characters are Zolo (The First Mate), Robin (The Archaeologist Lady) and Ace (Luffy's brother).

My favorite FMA characters are Ed and Roy. The way they fight is hilarious.

In Fruits Basket I like Kyo-kun, Haru and Kisa. My favorite animal form is either Hatori's (Hilarious) or Kyo's (Adorable).

The character I like from Hikaru no Go is Sai.

From Black Cat I like Sepheria (A girl who commands an evil organization, heck yeah), Eve (Another girl who kicks ass), Shiki (You go, girl!) and Saya, (She’s a hell of a lot like Tomoe from RuroKen… hmmm)

My favorite couples are:

RenjixRukia

IchigoxOrihime

UliquoraxOrihime (It is kind of cute)

ToshiroxKarin

MomoxKira

GaaraxSakura

NarutoxHinata

TemarixShikamaru

NejixTenten (I love this couple so much, it's my favorite)

KakashixAnko

TsunadexJiraya

IrukaxShizune

InoxSai

SasorixDeidara

KisamexItachi

ZabuzaxHaku

KimmimaroxJuugo

I also have a small love for NarutoxGaara

TemaTen (Temari and Tenten, they would be kind of cool, not to mention hot. I did warn you I was gay…)

InuyashaxKagome

SesshomaruxKagura

KohakuxRin

SangoxMiroku

TalaxBryan

TalaxKai

BryanxRei

ReixSalima

HiromixTyson

EmilyxKyouju

KyokoxRen

ZoloxRobin

AcexRobin

NamixLuffy

EdxWinry

RoyxRiza

KyoxTohru

HaruxRin

KisaxHiro

ShigurexAyame

KurenoxUo

RitsuxAkito

If you have an issue with any of these pairings, you don't have to look at this. I'm sorry that you are so insensitive that you can't even look at this.

I never hated yaoi but I never used to be a fan. Then I read some great yaoi fanfics and I was hooked. Yaoi is so cute! I am gay but I don’t think of Yaoi as hot. It’s just cute.

Who I hate:

Bleach: Aizen, Ichimaru, Tousen, they irritate me

Naruto: SASUKE!! I hate him so so so so so so much, (Excuse my rant), Orochimaru, Kabuto and the Fourth Kazekage,

Inuyasha: Naraku, sheesh, do villains ever die?

Beyblade: VOLTAIRE and BORIS! How dare they do that to the Demo Boys!! HOW DARE THEY! Tala's parents. Did you know that in Canon Manga, Tala's dad was a drunkard and abused him and his mom until she ran away leaving Tala behind? And you wonder why Tala hates everyone... Really... Do you expect him to forget that? And Tyson. Is that kid fucking high or something?

Death Note: No one...

Skip Beat: Sho,

One Piece: Crocodile, Every one at Enies Lobby, Buggy the Clown and Alvida (THEY KEEP COMING BACK!)

Full Metal Alchemist: All the Hormunculi especially Lust, (Though some of them died)

Fruits Basket: Akito (She bothers me. And it really bugs me when its AkitoxTohru and they forget she's a girl. All for Yuri, (HOT), but Akito is a girl, not a guy.)

Hikaru no Go: No one...

Black Cat: No one except the people who kept Eve as an experiment though Creed gets annoying.

Dr. Slump: No one...

Chibi Vampire: Karin

I do write on request. I am really bad at romance and my talent is at Angst.

Warning: Some of my stories may contain Child Abuse. Please read this and read responsibly. Ie. Don't read any one with an abuse warning if you can't handle abuse.

On a lighter note, I'm happy today!! And crazy. In fact, 89 percent crazy, 10 percent Emo and 1 percent normal. That is where my stories come from...

Eventually I will have a longer description of myself and some more of those awesome Copy and Paste things... I know that I'm insane, you don't have to tell me.

Also, flames will be used as a heating system and will be laughed at. I don't appreciate flames. They are a waste of everyone's time.

Stories being written:

Safe Haven Shelter- A Neji/Tenten abuse story (I haven't updated but I haven't given up

After- My Beyblade fic and the one my plot-bunnies like. I'm done with the series and somewhat disappointed. TALA IS NOT THAT WEAK! And where are Bryan and Spencer near the end?!

Two Rurouni: What if when Kenshin appeared, he was not alone? What if he had a student? What would change?... Said Student being Soujiiro...

Demons- A GaaYugito, NaruHina story I'm still designing

Insanity is Relative- A NaruGaa, NejiLee asylum fic that I'm still designing

Death Speaker- A NaruTema angst/Death fic that I'm still thinking of.

Songs of Healing- An unposted AU Inuyasha abuse fic centered around Kagura and Sesshomaru.

Captive- An unwritten Demo Boys fic about what happens to them after the Abbey (Hint: Slavery and Angst). Since I write some more cheerful stuff, it will have the Bladebreakers help them out. Because you know they need help. Honestly, even the Manga acknowledges that they need help, and fast.

Dead Series- Need to write two more, from the perspectives of Kai and Spencer.

Blitzkrieg Unit- What if Yuriy, Boris, Sergei and Kai had thrown the tournament? What if they were hiding secrets and vast amounts of power? Unwritten so far.

How do you know when you're obsessed with Naruto?

1. You dye your hair blond and try to walk up a tree

2. You can spit out a quote from any character at any given time Yep-yep

3. You loudly declare homework 'Troublesome' Totally

4. You tell your teacher that your career aspiration is to become Hokage

5. You constantly yell 'Believe It!' whenever you can yeah

6. You glue yourself to fanfiction duh

7. You read every chapter as soon as it comes out Used to, I’m lazy…

8. When you get mad you angrily tell your family that the only ties to them you have are the ones you'd like to wrap around their necks Heck yeah

9. You recognize that quote and laugh about using it Yep

10. You randomly cosplay as your favorite character Yes.

11. You tell your teacher that once you graduate their class you'll join the ANBU

12. When you're nervous, you tap your fingertips together Yes

13. Your main method of annoying little siblings is to loudly yell 'Byakugan' and start poking them with two fingers It works!

14. You copy someone and declare that it's your Kekkai Genkai

15. You try to crush annoying people by clenching your fist and saying 'Sand Coffin' Been there, done that. It didn't work. (Cries)

16. You start twitching every time some one says 'Youthful' Yep

17. You plot out alternate endings to Naruto in your spare time YES

18. You know every detail about your favorite character Of course. I'm a fangirl

19. When you talk to your friends, you talk about Naruto Yep

20. You declare loudly that you hate brats Yes

21. When someone tries to eat the last chip, you flip out on them and yell 'Mine!' before snatching it and eating it

22. You are always late and try to give lame excuses Story of my life

23. You electrocute yourself then yell 'Chidori' as you pass out

24. You call your test a Chunin Exam

25. You tell your parents that it is their fate to let you slack off in school since it is your fate to fail

26. You lick your lips while trying to make your tongue seem longer

27. You declare yourself an avenger and spike your hair but only in the back

28. You call the group that you hang out with the Akatsuki

29. You doodle the Leaf Symbol every where Yep. Including my door

30. You take a fan and try to summon Kamitachi It didn't work

31. You try to make your painting some alive FAILURE AGAIN. NUUUUU

32. You are still reading this, laughing and nodding (Snort)

Don't cure the addiction for then you will stop reading my stories and leaving reviews!! (I beg shamelessly for reviews. I love them. Every time I get one, I dance around my bedroom.)

How do you know when you're obsessed with Beyblade? (I wrote this one myself so don't take credit)

1. You randomly yell "LET IT RIP!" Guilty. The theme song is always stuck in my head, hence, love of Bryan who makes it shut up

2. You talk to your computer Guilty as hell

3. You say that your bitbeast is the strongest

4. You challenge people to a Beyblading match

5. You're an obsessive Fanfiction writer GUILTY

6. You know all the character names and back-stories from all the seasons Guilty. Actually, really only the Demo Boys. I don't care about the BladeBreakers

7. You yell "GO DRANZER" at random I admit. Though normally I yell "GO WOLBORG" or "GO FALBORG!"

8. You threaten to take other people's bitbeasts

9. You make up a team name for yourself

10. You randomly scheme how to make (Insert Favorite character here) the main character instead of Tyson Oh yes. TALA WOULD BE A MUCH BETTER MAIN CHARACTER THEN TYSON!

11. You yell "DRIGGER! TIGER CLAW!" as your battle cry Yep

12. You throw things at the screen when Boris shows up Oh yes.

13. When a team walks away, you yell at the screen "COME BACK! DAMMIT!" Demo Boys of course. And the Saint Shields.

14. You've already designed the 4th season It is about the Blitzkrieg Boys of course. And how they KO the Bladebreakers

15. You wish that the anime went more into the character's backgrounds. Only the Demo Boys. I don't care about any of the others.

16. You scream at Kai when he betrays his team. Only when he betrays the Demo Boys. I want him to betray Bladebreakers to go back to the Russian Team.

17. You went and made up a thing about how obesessed you are with Beyblade Yep it's a disease.

Oh yeah, and to cover for any story where I forgot to mention it, I DON'T OWN NARUTO! If I did, would Sasuke-teme still be alive? If I owned it then he would have been killed by either Naruto, Hinata, Kyuubi or every character in the series. You get the idea.

Since Tala is not the main character of Beyblade, I don't own it either. And as Tyson has not disappeared from the series along with a few others (Cough, Raul, BORIS, Cough), I can only dream.

Seeing as Soujiiro has not joined up with Kenshin and co., and Kaoru has not unleashed a previously unknown power that makes HER the strongest, I don't own RuroKen. (Except for the five volumes beside my bed )

Re-post this if you believe Homophobia is wrong.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has
legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites,
and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun
marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay
couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to
marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs
more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like
ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model
at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents
to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could
never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to
cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be bolemic. (No fricken way

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart, and NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. (Sheesh. I'm a teenager, and a virgin)

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. (Oh come on. Just cuz I'm gay doesn't mean anything)

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. (Heh)

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. (Former Atheist here!)

I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST be "evil" and not have any morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. (Er... Not very responsible)

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. (I am actually)

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. (Well, I could be insane...)

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So i must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. (Ick. Drugs...)

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. (Not really, I'm the most negative person I know)

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. (FORMER)

I'm a WHITE GIRL so I MUST be a steal-your-money kind of girlfriend (Not even in a relationship)

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big PENIS.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. (I'm A FRICKEN VIRGIN)

I HAVE GOOD GRADES, so I MUST have no social life. (I don't but...)

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. (Kinda but not really)

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. (Read above)

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. (Only slightly)

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. (Ick. I'm gay!! What would I want with GUYS?)

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay. (None of your business)

I have BiG BOOBS, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO (Yep! And proud of it!)

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas

Im a STONER so i MUST be going in the wrong direction

Im a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude (Probably am)

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl i see is hot.

I'm ASIAN so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a girl who actually EATS LUNCH, so i MUST be fat. (Not really)

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. (Erm... that's stupid... I'm gay myself.)

I'm MIXED so i must be SEXY

I'm MUSLIM so i MUST be covered up at all times.

I'm in ORCHESTRA/BAND, so i MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black (Nope...)

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. (I'm Christian)

Stereotypes are Stupid. We are all different and a few words can't define who we are...

Friends or Best friends? I have a Best Friend like this and I would gladly give my life for her.

FRIENDS: Always ask for food if they are hungry

BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs. and your grandparents, your Grandfather and Grandmother.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD and your grandparents GRAMPS AND GRANDMA

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin' “DAMN we really messed up!”

FRIENDS: Never seen you cry

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you’re not down anymore

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad .. here’s a tissue"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography of you

FREINDS: Will leave you behind if that’s what everyone else is doing

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BEST FRIENDS: Would walk right in and say "I'M HOME"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you've had enough

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Girl, drink the rest of that you know we don't waste!”

FREINDS: Will ignore this

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit

Number your 12 fave Naruto characters (In no order) and answer the questions!!

1. Gaara

2. Itachi o/\o

3. Deidara (un!)

4. Haku

5.Kakashi

6. Temari

7. Tenten

8. Yugito

9. Anko

10. Hinata

11. Suigitsu

12. Kimmimaro

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

Temari/Suigitsu? Nope. Interesting...

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Haku? In a really girly way, sure? I can’t get over that he’s a guy.

3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Kimmimaro and Yugito... Seeing as they're both dead... Erm, go into hiding?

4) Do you recall any fics about Nine?

Not too many, Anko isn't that popular...

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Ita/Tema! Yeah! They're the same age and all... I like ShikaTema better though...

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
HinaKakaAnko? KakaAnko, I ship that couple! CUTE!

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Tenten walks in on Itachi and Kimmimaro? O.o

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic.

Loud, brash Deidara runs from his past in Iwa and meets a shy girl with secrets of her own. Deidara/Hinata

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?

GaaYugito? Maybe? I was thinking about writing one...

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.

Blades, Shattered Weapons

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?

Haku to deflower Gaara? Well, femHaku and probably Haku survives the battle and is captured by Suna nin...

12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

Probably, DEIDARA! YEAH! More yaoi. (SasoDei FTW)

13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

Suigitsu? Don't know anyone who draws Naruto characters...

14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five ?

ItaHakuKaka? Probably no...

15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion?

Hinata? Scream? Errr...

16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace, Waking the Demon by Bullet for my Valentine or Behind Blue Eyes by the Who

17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

GaaTemaKimmimaro... Err, CRACK!

18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?

Um, "I can help you see and show you things you've never seen..." ItaHina

19) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight?

Suigetsu between Itachi and Yugito? Weird for an Akatsuki to get so attached to a Jinchurriki.

20) How emo is Seven?

Tenten? Yeah right!

Number your 12 fave Beyblade characters (In no order) and answer the questions!!

1. Bryan

2. Tala

3. Rei

4. Kai

5. Spencer

6. Oliver

7. Ian

8. Salima

9. Mao

10. Brooklyn

11. Kane

12. Miriam

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

OliverxKane... Never

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Kai... Heat wise. I'm gay...

3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Miriam got Salima pregnant... If you can tell me how that would happen, I'm proud of you.

4) Do you recall any fics about Nine?

Mao. Yep! I've seen a few good ones where she isn't a bitch...

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Tala and Oliver. Maybe?

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

SpencerxMao or SpencerxBrooklyn. With Mao

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Ian walks in on Tala and Miriam... Maniacal laughter followed by a very solid blow to the head and mega death threats.

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic.

ReixBrooklyn. Hm. Brooklyn, ever kind-hearted, tries to order a kitten from a shady looking store only to wind up with a neko-jin.

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?

BryanxSalima. Never seen it. Hm. It could be cute. I'm gonna look it up.

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.

IanxMiriam. Rescue Me. And she would have helped him get away/cope with what the Abbey did to him.

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?

Kai deflower Bryan. Lets say it would involve a hell of a lot of alcohol.

12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

Yep. Rei-Rei! But more Yaoi

13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

Naw...

14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five ?

TalaxKaixSpencer. Dunno. TalaxKai yes.

15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion?

Brooklyn... "SAVE THE NATURE!"

16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Salima. Puppet by Thousand Foot Krutch

17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

BryanxOliverxMiriam. Lunacy.

18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?

Brooklyn and Tala... Hm. "You know it's not too late for redemption. I can help you."

19) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight?

Kane between Tala and Salima. "A BAD IDEA! HE'S EVIL, SALIMA!"

20) How emo is Seven?

That brat, Ian, probably doesn't know what Emo is.

Theme Songs: Beyblade

Tala: Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace or Concrete Angel by Martina McBride. Tala was made into Cyber Tala against his will. This would imply that he probably felt himself turning into a monster. Concrete Angel because, like I said, in the Manga, Tala was abused by his father.

Bryan: Puppet by Thousand Foot Krutch. Bryan has been a part of the Abbey since a young age. Figures that he would feel like a puppet.

Ian: Master of Puppets by Metallica Same as Bryan.

Spencer: Numb by Linkin Park. Spencer can't have wanted to fight Kai...

Kai: Listen to Your Heart by DHT. Because he can't seem to follow his heart to one team

Tyson: Fighting Dreamers (The Naruto Intro) Sheesh. The kid is always a dreamer.

Rei: Stand by You. Rei supports others.

Max: Lean on Me. Max does the same.

Kenny: Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto. Can you imagine Kenny dancing to this song?

Theme songs: Naruto

Naruto: Dream On by Aerosmith. Naruto never gives up on his dreams of being Hokage.

Sasuke: Barbie Girl (He thinks he’s so perfect)

Gaara: Behind Blue Eyes by The Who. In addition to being blue eyed, the song says “No one knows what it’s like to be hated…” If being hated isn’t the story of Gaara’s life, I don’t know what is.

Neji: Right Round (Lol, Fanflashs)

Theme songs: RuroKen

Kenshin: Dare You To Move by Switchfoot. The song talks about moving on and Kenshin is trying to move on from being Battousai and killing Tomoe.

Sano: Blow Me Away by Breaking Benjamin. “Only the strongest will survive”. Explains itself

Shishio: Psychosis by Poets of the Fall. I love that song but it does describe Shishio. “This is where we all should see red”

Soujiiro: Mad World by Gary Jules since the song says “And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, that the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had”. Or, like Tala from Beyblade, Concrete Angel. Especially the line that says “It’s hard to see the pain behind the mask”. Soujiiro was abused as a kid and he’s always afraid of his past.

92 of the teenage population would die if Abercombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore.Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 that would laughing your ass off

If you KNOW the voices in your head are real, copy and paste this to your profile! :))

So many girls pretend they're something they're not just to fit in, if you're not one of those girls copy and past this into your profile.Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this to your profile

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree(or not), copy this and put it in your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

If you can spout a random Naruto character quote on command, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would LOVE to know how Naruto's going to end, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are odd, and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. I certainly ain't even

If you have an army of purple cats with rabies and with flamethrowers at your command, copy and paste this into your profile.

I solemly swear that anyone who flames my stories will get a flame back. FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE! BEAT OUT THE FLAMES! If you agree (or hate flamers) put this in your profile.

98 percent of the population would die if Johnny Depp said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy this onto your profile if you would be one of the 2 percent that is laughing your ass off.

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever tripped where there is a 'WATCH YOUR STEP' sign, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile.

If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile.

If you ever felt like chasing your friend and yelling "RUN BITCH RUN!" Put this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste here.

If you have EVER been so obsessed with a song you actually A.) dream about it, B.) sing it in school no mattter who's listening OR C.) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how off key you are, copy this in your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile

If you have a mad fascination with the Japanese culture, copy and past this into your profile

Even when you can't see Him, GOD IS THERE!! If you believe in God, then put this in your profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this; because in the Bible, it says that if you deny me, then I shall deny you before my Father in the gates of Heaven.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

Reasons why girls are the best (Doesn't really apply to me since I'm a tomboy)

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark

THE NARUTARD SURVEY! NARUTARDS UNITE!

1. Who is your favorite Naruto character(s)? I told you those... Gaa-chan, Ita-kun, Dei-chan, Haku-chan...

2. What is your favorite pairing(s)? NEJITEN

3. Are you a Naruto yaoi or hentai fan? Anything but Hentai. In terms of Hot, Het or Yuri.

4. Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? If so, who, where and how many times? Temari for Halloween...

5. List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise, if any: '08 Calender and Handmade Sand Hitai-Ate

6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so, who? Um, Dunno?

7. NaruHina or KibaHina? Both cute. I like NaruHina

8. SasuSaku or SasuNaru? Ack! DESTROY HIM! I LOATHE SASUKE!

9. Which team is your favorite? Team 7 or Team Gai? Yosh! Does that answer it?

10. Do you support the Obito theory? (Tobi=Obito) Um no. Tobi=Madara

11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father' theory? Confirmed in the manga...

12. Your favorite Akatsuki member? Ita!

13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke? ANTI! I'm a SASU LOATHER!

14. Have you seen all Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)? Nope. Manga all the way!

15. Have you read all the chapters so far? Ahhh, been reading Death Note lately...

16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD? ADHD...

17. Sub or dub? MANGA.

18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura? Pro Sakura in Shippuden...

19. Tobi = Annoying or funny? Awesome...

20. Do you even know who Tobi is? Duh.

21. Gai = Sexy beast or Ugly nerd? Hilarious

22. Which character would be the best crossdresser? Dei or Haku...

23. Rock Lee = Weird or Awesome? Cool

24. Which character would be best OOC? Hmmm. Teme, then he could maybe dislodge the forest up his ass...

25. Do you like Naruto fanfics? As long as they have grammar and don't bash the characters I like...

26. Do you write Naruto fanfics? No really...

27. Do you like lemons? Only if VERY well written.

28. Do your parents know about the Naruto characters? Sorta... From my deranged babbling

29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series? A little, weird…

30. Have you seen The Naruto Ultimate Fanflashes? Oh yeah! HILARIOUS

31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Naruto? Little sis?

32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and has someone recognized it? I think my Bff saw when I was doodling the Sand symbol...

33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this?' I'm still waiting for that...

34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades? Well Shifty eyes

35. Are you broke thanks to Naruto? Nope!

36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise? No! I'm not Hentai.

37. Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory? No. Akatsuki leader is Pein aka Nagato+Yahiko

38. Do you draw Naruto fanart? If so, count how many there are in your gallery. Used to...

39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal? He is never sexy.

40. Do you have a Naruto OC? Um, Sabaku no Aiko, Gaara and Sakura's daughter in Angels and Demons... Not really an OC since she's like 6...

41. Look at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life? Of course.

Quotes:

"...and the fact that the air conditioning unit was the product of Satan and never obeyed anyone's prodding or poking" - Too Complicated for Words by The Huntress and the Fairy

"Bryan can bring on genocide with a wet teabag" -Our First Noel by Ladya C. Maxine

“He was definitely going to have to keep a very close eye on all three of them; and if worst came to worst he would ship her off to an all girl's private school, hidden high in the mountains, on some obscure island in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by man eating sharks, wild cannibals, and flesh eating monkeys.” –Adoption by XX-Keva-XX

"Conversing with an arrogant lethal menace like Sesshoumaru, while wrapped in a bathing towel with a scrappy cloth swirled onto my head" -The Challenge Posed by aimdiscord

"Any word from Bryan can sound offensive and life-threatening, even if said word was ‘fluff’" "with a glare that – if looks could kill – he would be sprawled out across the floor, dead as Bryan’s manners" - All I Want For Christmas by vampirycent

"Oh, and I don’t have to say that line about if you hurt Rain I’ll shred you up into tiny pieces, chocolate coat you and feed you to Mello, right?” - Reigning on Heaven by nilaxapiel

The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.

73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.

Sesshi-chan’s Submissions to the Evil Overlord List: (Recently submitted)

If I must have a child, I will not favor them over my trusted lieutenant. Good lieutenants are hard to find and children are fairly easy to get. Anyway, children tend to do pesky things like think they have what it takes to destroy me.

If there is a prophecy that declares I will be killed by a child who meets specific criteria I will disregard it. Psychics are unreliable anyway and to pay attention to the prophecy would only make the child in question think they were destined to defeat me or something. I do know basic psychology.

I will not decide to punish a village for the crimes of one person. As fun as it is, it tends to create rebels who "have nothing to lose". These people tend to avoid company except at the climax when they unexpectedly come to the rescue of the hero, sacrificing themselves to kill me.

To execute someone important, I will not do it in a showy way. I will privately have them tied up and throw them into a room where they shall be killed by a hail of bullets from all sides. Following that, the chamber shall be filled with toxic gas and then the body shall be cut apart, the brains and heart will be removed and then burned. The ashes shall be scattered. Heroes have a knack of living which can be a pain. Public executions tend to make the person's romantic counterpart appear and save them which is irritating.

When I have public executions, I will already have had the person killed and their place taken by one of my brainwashed underlings who is happy to die and will pretend to be the hero. They shall say that all attempts to kill me are futile, that I am supreme and that they were just looking for power. This should both prevent a rescue and the dead from being seen as a martyr.

I will not decorate my castle with spider webs. It does not help morale or my image.

I will not allow myself to develop monomania. The thing which I want can be gotten through other means or I can live without it.

Thorough background checks shall be given to all my bodyguards.

Regardless of my romantic desires, I will not steal the lovers/spouses of any of my subordinates or enemies. Sexual tension centered around freeing loved ones is silly.

I will not send the brainwashed former friend of the hero to kill them, nor will I let this person into my confidence. Brainwashings do fail.

All rebels groups shall be secretly undermined by the introduction of the political system. This should make all of them become jaded and separate.

I shall not leave a calling card. Likewise, I shall not tell my enemies my name.

My goals are not to be told to anyone. When the hero finds them out, they tend to try to thwart me.

The location of my stronghold is not to be told to all of my underlings. That is confidential.

To flush out the heroes hidden among my ranks, I shall send a clone of myself to walk through the garden near them. The hero will not hesitate to attempt to kill me.

I shall play pop music inside my castle which will be furnished like a department store, complete with insane sales-people. This should confuse the hero.

Read away! Did you actually read all of that? Wow.