Wow i finally posted something! Anyway if you have somehow found this page enjoy! Look up my favorites while your at it. I have some pretty good stuff if i do say so myself. and yes, i do.

Name: Hailey the supremely awesome one, all shall bow before me!

Age: 13-17

Gender: well I'll give you a hint... I'm not male

Location: Ha like I'm going to tell you that. Why don't i just call all the pedophiles and stalkers i know and get it over with. .. Alright, since you begged, lets just say i live somewhere in a little country called America.

Fav Books: Harry Potter, Host, all of Tamora Pierce's series , House of Night Series, Inheritance Series, Sucks to be Me, Wicked, Lord of the Rings, Maximum Ride, Daughters of the Moon, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, The hHunger Games

Fav Manga: Blood, Black Cat, Inuyasha, Vampire Knight and House of Mice

Fav Ships:

Harry Potter- harry/hermine or luna or Tonks or OC, or pretty much anybody now that i think about it.

- Ron/Hermine

Twilight- bella/Edward - Bella/OC

Black Cat- train/ Saya

Blood+- Saya/Hagi

Daughters of the moon- all pairings in the book

Maximum Ride- Max/Fang

Percy Jackson- Percy/ Annabeth

Wicked- Elphie/fierro

Hunger Games- Gale/Katniss

Just some stuff i found that made me laugh so hard i fell off my chair and for some reason it all make sense. Its kinda really really long but its got some great stuff on it and since i bet you don't have anything better to do. so just read it!

Stuff

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Hatred may make you strong, but it also makes you blind and stupid.

In every single tunnel there's a light at the end, just pray its not a train

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

Teacher: are you paying attention
student: yes sir
t: would you like to tell me what i was talking about
s: no sir
t: why not
s: well if you dont know what you are talking about you arent a very good teacher.

Girls are only complicated because guys are simple.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that a hostage situation?

If pro is the opposite of con, and progress is moving forward, what is congress?

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

The surest sign that there is intelligent life somewhere in the Universe is that it hasn't tried to contact us.

When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death Twice?

If you want to know the meaning of life, look in the dictionary.

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Someday my prince will come. He just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something.

One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Don’t mess with me, I've got a stick.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Do it today. It might be illegal tomorrow.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Silence is golden, duck-tape is silver...

Give a man a fish and he will be full for a day.

Give a man a fishing rod and he will be dull for the rest of his life

Give a woman a fish and she'll find a man with a fishing rod and swap.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off!

If you have an army of purple cats with rabies and with flame throwers at your command copy this onto your profile. (FLY MY MINIONS!! FLY!!)

If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If there are times where you just want to annoy someone for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read stories past two in the morning, C&P

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these, copy this into your profile!!

If you sigh at the fact that because your profile is so long there is little chance someone would actually take the time and read it, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

ave an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, put this in your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consectutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile

If you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your vampire boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”, copy this into your profile.

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a friend that scares you when they have sugar, do not copy this into your profile

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

Stuff pt.2

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away from them and you'll have their shoes.

Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

A tree only hits an automobile in self-defense.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

If God had intended man to smoke, he would have set him on fire.

When your life shatters into a million pieces, pick up the pieces, grab some glue, and make a new one.

As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

A wise man once said, "I don't know - go ask a woman.

A good friend will keep you secrets when you ask them too. A true friend will keep their mouths shut without you asking them.

When life gives you lemons make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how the fucking hell you did it.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Help I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.

People like you are the reason why people like me need medication.

We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box."

Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

Even if the voices aren't real, they got some great ideas.

Your just jealous cuz the voices dont talk to YOU!

Some people are like slinkies. The seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Don't fall for someone unless they are willing to catch you.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

There are four things you cannot recover in life: The stone after it is thrown, the word after it is said, the occasion after it is missed, and time after it is gone.

Learn from yesterday. Live for today. Hope for tomorrow.

Living your life is more important than making a living.

A friend... tries to help you when you get hurt, a true friends sits there laughing their ass off saying, 'Dude, you're an idiot!'

helps you up when you fall; a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

gives you their umbrella in the rain; a best friend takes yours and says, "CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!"

wipes your tears when your rejected; a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

This is the oath of a TURE FRIEND!

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well
Again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;
'because you are my friend'.

Don’t mess with me, I've got a stick.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No," and shoot him. On second thought, I'll shoot him, then say, "No."

8. After I kidnap the handsome prince, we will be married immediately in a quiet, civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large, red button labeled, "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisers will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of a cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 1:17 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence, "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

17. When I employ people as advisers, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. If i have children i will not abuse/ignore/try to kill them as they will most likely help the hero try to kill/overthrow me.

19. I will try to keep my citizens relativity happy as it is less likely then they will help the hero in a plan to overthrow me.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mindset.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line, "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super weapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, naked mole rat, or whatever sickeningly-cute, little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the alluring rebel and they claim they are attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray their companions if I just let them in on my plans.

44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say, "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

46. If an adviser says to me, "My liege, he is but one person. What can one person possibly do?" I will reply, "This," and kill the adviser.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53. If the handsome prince that I capture says, "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say, "Oh well," and kill her.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However, before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60. My five-year-old child adviser will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61. If my advisers ask, "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

65. If I must have computer systems with publicly available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment Room.

66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable super-weapon on them.

73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisers assure me it is impossible for them to win.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old adviser can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutenant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror, "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be, "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the twelve Stones of Power on the sacred altar, then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of, "Push the button."

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89. After I capture the hero's super-weapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say that his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unraveled.

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstances have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

The Top Eleven Things Everyone Should Know About Twilight:

1. Werewolves are only immortal as long as they want to be. Yeah. Kind of strange. Apparently it has to do with how often they choose to become wolves. Of course, these are quite strange werewolves who don’t follow the moon.

2. Vampires sparkle in the sun. Really. And no one ever laughs at them when they do this. Then again, they only ever show this to lovestruck teenage girls.

3. In a werewolf/vampire/human threesome, the human has to be in the middle so the freezing vampire and burning werewolf balance each other out. Or something like that.

4. It is not at all creepy to make an unborn baby your soulmate nor is it creepy to raise your soulmate from infancy as its father/brother and then become its lover.

5. Author Stephanie Meyer is apparently a big supporter of the rights of demon babies.

6. Wanting to literally eat your girlfriend is romantic, not deeply disturbing.

7. Jeopardizing a fragile treaty between two very dangerous, deadly groups because you can’t control your hormones is endearing, not painfully stupid.

8. When you’re friends with vampires and werewolves, you no longer are required to care about your human friends and family.

9. . When a guy you have been dating for a few months abruptly leaves and never plans on coming back and you take to cliff diving to hear his voice, you are in no way crazy nor should you look into therapy.

10. You should never, ever let Bella and Edward name anything. Ever.

11. TELLING a group of vampires that want to kill your baby that she is half human will do nothing. Finding someone who claims that they are half-human solves everything. They’ll even kill that vampire that’s out to get you for you.

Quotes:

Albert Einstein

"There are two things I'm absolutely sure of. the Universe and human stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the universe"

Mahatma Gandhi

" An eye for and eye makes the whole world blind"

Arielle Night 14 (ma super special awesome friend)

"The main thing I like about New Yorkers is that they understand that their lives are a relentless circus of horrors, ending in death. As New Yorkers, we realize this, we resign ourselves to our fate, and we make sure that everyone else is as miserable as we are. Good town."

Willy Wanka and the Chocolate Factory

"Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism children and is frowned upon in most societies."

Miranda Flairgold- "Changes in a time of war"

“Possession is nine tenth of the law.”

“Even if the remaining tenth wields lightening?”

“I’ve told Rahkesh time and again that electricity doesn’t solve all of life’s problems!”

“Well, with him, it apparently does, especially the problem of uninvited vampires on his couch.”

Unknown-

"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege."

Unknown-

"evil takes a high price"

"really, does evil take master card?"

Pirates of the Caribbean-

"You are by far the worst pirate I've ever heard of."
"But you have heard of me."...

"But why is the rum gone??"

Illi my twin-

"You're just jealous because the voices in my head don't talk to you!"

Jedi Sapphire-No more then an Elf

“Legolas, if I strangle you here it will sour relations between Gondor and Eryn Galen permanently, since your father, for some obscure reason, is fond of you. It would also make Dan and Ro look at me as though I had strangled their pet kitten and my future wife would probably not speak to me for years. Save us trouble and sit down.”