PEN NAME: Bad Octopus

SPECIES: cephalopod

GENDER: female

AGE: 27

If you're reading this, chances are it's probably because you're wondering what the deal is with that wordy behemoth of a M*A*S*H fanfiction I'm writing called "The Wind and the Rain". Yes, I know, it's massively long-winded. And yes, I know, Charles Emerson Winchester the Pompous is not exactly a favorite among M*A*S*H fans. However, if you have the time, I do ask that you give it a fair chance. In case I haven't made it abundantly clear, I love M*A*S*H. I may not have grown up watching it, as some of my fellow authors here at Eff Eff Dot Net have, but that doesn't change the fact that I think it's the best thing since sliced bread.Therefore, I've tried my best to make sure every character is portrayed as faithfully as possible. Who knows? You might even end up liking Charles a little better. Besides, Klinger is in it, too. And who doesn't like Klinger? ;)

With that said, I'll leave you with some of my favorite quotes from that impossibly wonderful show.

"You're my best friend. I never got along this well with anybody, you moron."
"Well, that goes double for me, stupid." — Hawkeye Pierce and B.J. Hunnicutt

"I guess it's a bear we all gotta cross." — Radar O'Reilly

"Frank, it's after six. You can stop being snotty." — Henry Blake

"If you ain't where you are, you're no-place." — Sherman Potter

"That rapier-like wit. I've heard snappier comebacks from a bowl of Rice Krispies." — Charles Emerson Winchester III

"The way you guys work with burns, and sew up bellies... Makes me proud every time I throw up." — Maxwell Klinger

"Do what the Good Book says, and love thy neighbor, or I'll punch your lights out!" — Francis Mulcahy