So you're on my profile... I hope you wiped your feet! XD Obviously I haven't written any stories onsite. I have written a few, or rather am in the process of writing them, on my elderly and frankly decrepit Toshiba laptop (Windows 98 - glorious). They will probably never be read by anyone but me and while some might think there's no point in writing stories that won't be read, I do enjoy a bit of pointless typing from time to time. I may end up writing a few inane scribblings on here one day, who knows.
I've found that I start off a bit formal when I type and then my vocabulary gets steadily more casual, which is quite similar to how I speak to my friends - my accent slips quite a bit, something that to me is painfully obvious but none of my friends seem to notice... even when I go from my Reading accent to completely Cockney - which is a ridiculous leap to make in the space of one sentence. I've just noticed what a long sentence that was. Anyway, one minute I can be talking in a ridiculously posh accent, and the next moment it's all peculiar and T-dropping, and ignoring the glottlestops or whatever my dad used to accuse me of doing.

But I digress! See, I'm warming up already. Soon we'll be sharing a pot of tea or something. Because I'm English, so there MUST be tea. Maybe there will also be... cake.

Yay for Stephen! Butt scratcherrr? LIAM?? XD Sonisphere '09, yay! 8D

I'm compiling a list of Jokerly songs, because I've wanted to do it for quite a while. CHECK THE LYRICS - you may be surprised/nauseated/horrified at the song choices. You might also recognise some from a fic you wrote or Youtube vid you made. Hnah. I've also made a playlist of songs at Project Playlist which make me think of Batman things in general, titled Batman-ish Songs (original, but there you go). Iz naice, like pie. I encourage you to listen to some, or... I don't know, maybe I'll set my own Horace cheese on your trail. See him, eating your tables over there... blackening them like big old bits of blackened wood.
I Can't Decide - Scissor Sisters
To The Shock Of Miss Louise - Thomas Newman (I think - it's from The Lost Boys)
The Man Behind the Mask; This Maniac's In Love With You; Lock Me Up; Dragontown: The Quiet Room; We're All Crazy - Alice Cooper
Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide; Sin With A Grin; Devour; The Sound Of Madness; Cry For Help; Son Of Sam - Shinedown
Believe Me - Fort Minor
Crazy In Love - Eminem
Paper Planes (just because of the sound effects) - MIA
About ten Linkin Park songs
The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot; Guernica; Archers (either a Joker to Batman song, or Batman to Joker, or maybe a bit of both.); Handcuffs (sad, and it's more Bats to Joker) - Brand New
Love Me Dead - Ludo
Breakaway - Basement Jaxx (For the LULZ!!)
All Mine - Portishead (Also for the LULZ!!)
Falling - Atreyu
Parallel Worlds - Elliot Minor
Everyday Everything; Don't Pray - 16Volt
Psycho; Bounce; Boom; Pictures; Violent Pornography; Fuck the System - System Of A Down
River Below; Fallen Leaves; Devil In A Midnight Mass - Billy Talent
Pretty Toy - Velvet Acid Christ (makes me think of 4ofCups with the fantabulous fic. :P)
Fat Lip - Sum 41
Animals; Follow You Home; Figured You Out - Nickelback
Near To You; Almost Lovers; Liar Liar - A Fine Frenzy
Fake It - Seether
Burn; Ka-boom Ka-boom; Doll-Dagga Buzz-Buzz Ziggety-Zag; (S)aint; This Is The New Shit; This Is Halloween; Man That You Fear; mOBSCENE; Ah heck nearly ALL of his songs - Marilyn Manson
Oblivion; The Kill; Attack; Saviour - 30 Seconds To Mars
The Ballroom Blitz - Sweet (almighty roflcopter at The Batman's crazy little Joker) And the man at the back is ready to crack! 8D
Homecoming Queen - Hinder (this is more of a Harley song, but there is a line about a "wrong someone" so it's also a Joker song.)
Follow; Evil Angel; So Cold; Breath; Until The End; Had Enough; Sooner Or Later; Away; Forget It - Breaking Benjamin
The Joker - Fat Boy Slim (partly because the video is ridiculously cute)
End Of The Line - Mohair
Breathe Into Me - Red
Psychopomp - The Tea Party
Animal I Have Become - Thre Days Grace
Institutionalised - Suicidal Tendencies
You're Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring
Perfect Situation - Weezer

Basic stuff - my name, nicknames and such
Name: Eh. Kind of pointless writing it here as half my nicknames give it away. ¬_¬ I should do something about it.
Nicknames (here we go...I'll answer to any of these): Shmelton, Shmelly, Shmell, Shmellington, Bum Bandit, Hobo, Vicky, Tricky, Tricktoria, VicTORIOUS! (belted out on a high note), Vickles, Victor, Vicks ("Vaporub?!"), Bumchum... and Smelly Chuck Bucket, apparently...
Appearance: My hair is sort of long, maybe around shoulder-blade-length, curly and mid to dark blonde. It's naturally multi-toned and is frankly a bit crap and frizzy at the moment.
Dress Sense: I love bright colours and especially the combination of red, white and black, so I have two short jackets one red and one black, which I like wearing with my most awesometacular vest top from Primark. It's white and has black printed dots on the front, with black faces along the bottom that remind me of the Boosh monkey masks... My old and slightly misguided dress sense was enormous, comfy hoodies and tenfold-repaired old denim jeans, but no sports brands. EVER. (EDIT: Oh no, look at this, the hoodies are back. But only because one of them is bright purple and another is warm, and the rest have good bands on them.)
Height (or lack thereof): About five foot four and a bit. That bit is very important. I would be mortified if I lost it.

Other Stuff:
Musical Interests (Not all - just the things I listen to a lot): BUTT SCRATCHERRRR?! (sorry) 16 Volt, 30 Seconds To Mars, A Fine Frenzy, Alice Cooper, Alkaline Trio, The All-American Rejects, Annie Lennox, The Bee Gees, Billy Talent, old Black Sabbath, Blur, Brand New, Breaking Benjamin, Chic & Sister Sledge, Chris Rea, Coheed & Cambria, Counting Crows, Craig Armstrong, Cyndi Lauper, Deep Purple, Dolly Parton, Dragonforce, Electric Six, Eminem, Enigma, Enya, Everclear, Foo Fighters, Fountains Of Wayne, The Fray, Gary Numan, INXS, Iron Maiden, Jimmy Eat World, Kiss, Linkin Park, Marilyn Manson, Meat Loaf, Metallica, MJ, Muse, Nightwish, Ocean Colour Scene, The Offspring, Ozzy Osbourne, Panic! At The Disco, Phil Collins, Placebo, The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl (just that Christmas song), Queen, Rammstein, The Ramones, R.E.M., Rise Against, Robots In Disguise, Rob Zombie, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Rufus Wainwright, Scissor Sisters, The Script, Seether, Shinedown, Slipknot, Smash Mouth, The Smiths, Space, Stereophonics, Sum 41, Supergrass, System Of A Down, The Tea Party, Three Days Grace, Tina Turner, Travis, Turisas, The Wannadies, Weezer, Wham!, Wonder Stuff, ZZ Top.

Fillems (in no particular order): The Dark Knight, 28 Days/Weeks Later, Monty Python, Batman '89, Die Hard 3, Shrek 1/2/3, I Robot, the Scary Movies, Toy Story 1/2, The Lion King 1/2, Brother Bear, Subway, The Nightmare On Elm Street, Pirates 1/2/3, Pitch Black/Riddick, The Pacifier, The Fifth Element, Rocky Horror, Dick Deadeye (that 70's/80's cartoon mash up of G&S musicals), Shaun Of The Dead, Hot Fuzz, Plunkett & Macleane, the original Italian Job and Planet of the Apes, The Full Monty, The Blair Witch Project (JOOOOSH!! roflcopter), The Lost Boys... I AM going to think of even more after I finish typing, which just goes to show how unorganized my mind can be.

Telefizzle (again, no particular order): The Mighty Boosh, Batman (the old 60's shows which were frankly magic, with the well-padded Batman and leggy Robin, and when they walked up buildings it was only the floor), Batman TAS, The Batman, Black Adder, Red Dwarf, Being Human, The Vicar Of Dibley, French & Saunders, Absolutely Fabulous, Porridge, Friends, Two Ronnies, other Ronnie things, QI, House, Time Team, Mr Bean, Top Gear, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Brainiac, Scrubs, 8 Simple Rules, Less Than Perfect, Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Room 101, Have I Got News For You, Mock The Week, Doctor Who, 3 Men In Another Boat, Scrapheap Challenge, Friends, Robot Wars.

Most-used words and expressions: Generally anything that might be shouted at a time of great excitement, such as "Joyous!" or "Righteous!" or "Put that frigging pie down!"

Random crap facts about me that you probably aren't even interested in: I can be anywhere at any time and I will suddenly get the urge to laugh if I see anything remotely funny or peculiar, or if I remember something that happened months and months ago. This has earned me some strange looks from time to time. I also laugh at REALLY inappropriate moments, such as people stubbing their toes, dropping things, walking into things, falling etc.
I'm kind of ambidextrous, using my left hand for writing and drawing and my right hand for everything else.
I'm terrified of dropping things, spillages and generally making a mess, because it always ends in stressful wailing from all parties.
I get unreasonably fixated with things, people, films or games. At one point it was The Lion King after rediscovering my old VHS video round my dad's house just before he moved near Bridgwater. Right now I'm deliriously obsessed with Discworld, my (probably wildly inaccurate) ideas of university and anything to do with Batman. Luckily, so are several friends.
I get nervous when I have to ask if what I'm doing is correct, for example at school if I didn't understand something I would sit very still and quiet until the teacher went over the answers or someone else asked what to do.
I love to please people. If I make a mistake I feel slightly guilty, really awkward and totally out of place.
I can't stand loud clangs such as saucepans clashing when I empty the dishwasher - I have to get my mum to do the pots and pans for this reason. I think it's because the noise just goes on reverbrating and it makes the hairs on my neck stand on end...maybe I shouldn't admit to that.
I have high-functioning Asperger's Syndrome. I used to spend hours doing online personality tests, because I liked the way they were set out and I liked finding out whether the quizzes were accurate.
I love collecting quotes, bumper stickers, anything like that. At one point I used an old homework diary and filled it with funny and thoughtful quotes from fanfictions. My bedroom door is covered from top to bottom in bumper stickers and badges that I have printed off the internet, and I collected a huge number of bumper stickers and set about organising them by genre in a Word document on my old old laptop, which broke a couple of years ago. This old old laptop had Windows 95 on it, which was even more glorifulous than 98. It also had about four gargantuan fanfictions I had spent a considerable amount of time writing, among them a completely original story of my own. Astoundingly, it never occured to me to save anything on there...but then it could only use floppy disks, and just one of my stories - well, it had over 70 chapters (each about ten pages long), to give you an idea of its size...

My userpic is mine. :D The link to the person who made my old BFQOTY avatar is here: http://community.livejournal.com/nomorewolfie/23815.html

RANDOMNESS
YOUR ROCK STAR NAME:
(first pet and current street)

YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME:
(grandfather/grandmother on your moms side and your favorite candy)

YOUR "FLY GURL/GUY" NAME:
(first initial of first name and first two letters of your middle/surname -if u have no middle name-)

YOUR STAR WARS NAME:
(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of your moms first name and the first 3 letters of the town you grew up in

YOUR TERRORIST NAME:
(middle name/surname -if you have no middle name - spelled backwards and your mum's first name spelled backwards)

YOUR SUPERHERO NAME:
("the", your favorite color and favorite drink)

Mine:
Rockstar Name: Lady Lomond

Movie Star Name: Gwendoline Chupa-Chup

"Fly" name: VJA (lol wut)

Star Wars name: Barvijuslo

Terrorist name: Enaj Htiduj

Superhero name: The Purple Ruby Wine (was going to be Captain Morgan)

Copy and paste stuff:

If you have a secret phrase you use to greet someone, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you laugh at horror movies, copy this into your profile. JOOOSH! Can't take it seriously... but I won't watch it on my own.

If you've ever fallen asleep in class or an exam, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile :D

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. I do this rather a lot... thank you, Terry Pratchett.

Jiggajigjig shamalla! XP If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgotten what you were doing - then started walking away and remembered - copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied something from someone else's profile, copy this onto your profile!

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, greyhound beheading, bear-baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation (or you've done it), copy and paste this into your profile.

Grammar Nazis will rule the world someday. If you are a Grammar Nazi, put this in your profile.

No one's perfect. If you know and like that you're not perfect, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you hate any type of discrimination, put this in your profile.

Copy and paste this if you think that most people nowadays have no concept of manners or citizenship.

STUFF

Opening credits: This Land Instrumental - The Lion King OST (I don't care if I'm too old to like it. -_-)

Waking up: Slutgarden - Marilyn Manson

First day at school: Satellite of Love - Whoever did the original

Making a best friend: No More I Love You's - Annie Lennox

Average day: If I Was Your Mother - Bon Jovi

First date: Gun Love - ZZ Top (YUSS! XD)

Falling in love: (Can't Get My) Head Around You - The Offspring

Fight scene: The New Transmission - Lostprophets

Breaking up: Don't Stop Believin' - Journey (oh noooo)

Secret Love: Play Crack the Sky - Brand New

Prom: Smokin' In the Boy's Room - Motley Crue

Graduation: Love Today - MIKA XD

Death of a close friend: King Of Pride Rock - The Lion King OST (oh GO AWAY you silly Disney songs!)

Mental Breakdown: Valkyrie Missile - Angels and Airwaves

Driving: I Love to Boogie - T-Rex (what the crocodile HAT?!)

Flashback: Bitch School - Spinal Tap

Getting Back Together: A Town Called Hypocrisy - Lostprophets

Wedding Scene: The Child In Us - Enigma

Birth of a child: Fight For All the Wrong Reasons - Nickelback

Learning a lesson: Chelsea Dagger - The Fratellis

Car crash: In My Blood - Starsailor

Final Battle: Purple Hills - D12 (again, wut?)

Death Scene: Castles In the Sky - Ian Van Dahl

Funeral song: Liberate - Slipknot

Credits: All I want (not on Splinter) - The Offspring

Deleted scenes: Perfect Situation - Weezer