FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| Swetlana |
About me: I don't write I just read and review... for now. Name: Not Swetlana Age: 109, 3, 2387, 23, 67...none of those. Height: I'm not SHORT! Everbody else is freakesly TALL! Favourite books: The Stravaganza Trilogy, Gemma Doyle Trilogy, Ranger's Apprentice, Temeraire, Lord of the Rings, Sergej Lukjanenko, Michael Scott, The Vampire Chronicles and all books by Juliet Marillier. Favourite Characters: Luciano (Stravaganza), Rodolfo (Stravaganza), Aragorn (LOTR), Armand (Vampire Chronicles), Louis (Vampire Chronicles), Jasper (Twilight), Carlisle (Twilight), Sirius (Harry Potter), Remus (Harry Potter), Brom (Eragon), Gemma (A Great and Terrible Beauty), Kartik (A Great and Terrible Beauty), Jacou (The lost child), The Gorgon (A Great and Terrible Beauty), Halt (Ranger's Apprentice), Tug (Ranger's Apprentice), Crowley (Ranger's Apprentice), Rue (The Hunger Games), Katniss (The Hunger Games), Dustfinger (Inkheart), Temeraire (Temeraire) The sorting hat says that I belong in Ravenclaw! Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose intelligence is surest." Ravenclaw students tend to be clever, witty, intelligent, and knowledgeable. Want to know which house you're in : http://www.personalitylab.org/ It is very scientific and better than other tests. Favourite Parings: Armand/Marius - Vampire Chronicles Quotes: Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up "God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’? When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door," When there's a will, I want to be in it. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do. Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. Love your enemies! It really pisses them off. Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that. Suicide is a way of telling God, "YOU CAN'T FIRE ME, I QUIT!" Few woman admit their age; fewer men act it. Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid. They say "guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well, I think the gun helps, 'cause if you just stood ther and yelled BANG, I dont think you'd kill too many people. So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil? I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept! I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there. Three wise women would have stopped to ask for directions, got to the stable on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, cooked the dinner, and then there would have been peace on earth. Money can't buy happiness. It just buys everything you need to achieve it. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its pupils. Since light travels faster than sound, it explains why people appear bright until you hear them speak. Librarians are the one terrorist group you don't want to mess with - Michael Moore Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls… and poles… and other stuff… If you can't fix it with duck tape you haven't used enough! If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher. A wise man once said,"I don't know, go ask the women!" Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, is too dark to read. If all else fails, read the instructions. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet cool people... then kill them. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. "Life is like photography, you develop from the negatives. Without fear there is no courage. If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome I apologize and I'm sorry are the same. Unless you’re at a funeral A room without books is like a body without a soul Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. There is a light at the end of every tunnel….just pray it’s not a train I smile because I have no idea what is going on. "When in doubt...Cheat...Repeat until caught... ... ... Then lie." If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over. Whatever you are, be a good one. You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for. Have the courage to live. Anyone can die. "I reject your reality and substitute my own." -Adam Savage, Mythbusters If you're going to do something wrong, have fun doing it. There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate. "I've stopped listening, why haven't you shut up?" I already took over the world, they just don't know it yet Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity...though i'm not so sure about the universe. My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone. There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Tea in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day. “Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it, we go nowhere”-Carl Sagan Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. . . . It’s about learning to dance in the rain. Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months. He who laughs last thinks slowest Those who cannot remember the past are going to spend a lot of time in mall parking lots looking for their cars " The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think." " The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them." - Robert Frost Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon. “If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.” If ya can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. “Don’t judge a book by its cover or a person by their scars” When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch, but not too bright Remember there is no I in team. (but there is an M and an E) The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ~Herm Albright Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure. The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." —Voltaire I find "good morning" contradictory If you can't convince them, confuse them Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life To read or not to read, that is the question. I intend to live forever. So far, so good... Save the whales. Collect the whole set. Don't follow me, I'm lost too Did you know sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity. If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. The fearless are merely fearless. People who act in spite of their fear are truly brave. Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then! "After all is said and done a heck of a lot more is said than done." "At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote." War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you. When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." –Bill Watterson "Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing." Men are the only living creatures who can think of absolutely nothing and still breathe. Cats are smarter than dogs. You couldn't get nine cats to pull a sled. You can't spell 'funeral' without 'fun', nor 'manslaughter' without 'laughter'. Cats were once worshiped as Gods by the Egyptians. They have not forgotten this. You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me. "From the day I was born to the day I die the only side I'm on is my own!" "History is a one-sided story and the winners write the tale." "There are three sides to every situation. Their side, your side and the truth." "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde Buckle up, it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?" "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left Those who criticize our generation forgot who birthed it. We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they learn how to live in the same box. Stand up for what you believe in, even is it means standing alone. A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give an eulogy. Roses are red, Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one!" Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway. Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere. To say of what is that it is not, or of what is not that it is, is false, while to say of what is that it is, and of what is not that it is not, is true. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. "Who ever said that words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary." Don't let your mind wander, Its too little to be let out alone. The difference between humor and tragedy is that humor is when it happens to someone else." "Minds are like parachutes — they only work well when opened." Better to write for yourself and have no public than to write for the public and have no self. --Cyrit Connolly Just because you don't know something doesn't make you stupid. It just means there is room left to wonder. In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on. --Robert Frost The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement. "I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." "Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect." Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't. "Fascists dress in black and go around telling people what to do, whereas priests..." "The tooth fairy teaches kids that they can get money from selling body parts. I blame her for prostitution." I'm not insensitive, I just don't care I don't take orders, and I don't deliver death wishes. If you wish to die, kill yourself. If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle. I think they named oranges before they named carrots. "Hey, what are these?" "They're Orange." "What about these?" "Ah Shit!" The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you. A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that individuality is the key to success. Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting. ~Peter Finley Dunne Let's not become so worried about not offending anybody that we lose the ability to distinguish between respect and paranoia. ~Larry King The word "good" has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man. ~G.K. Chesterton "Not only does the English Language borrow words from other languages, it sometimes chases them down dark alleys, hits them over the head, and goes through their pockets” The English language brings out the best in the Irish. They court it like a beautiful woman. They make it bray with donkey laughter. They hurl it at the sky like a paint pot full of rainbows, and then make it chant a dirge for man’s fate and man’s follies that is as mournful as misty spring rain crying over the fallow earth. — T.E. Kalem Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. — Evelyn Waugh Women never lose there guard by compliments even if men think they do, but when you compliment a man, he comes runnning ino your arms. Person 1" I've changed my mind. Person 2: Great, does this one work better? Quotes from books/movies: "Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies."~Willy Wonka~ "You can't always argue with all of the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they aren't paying attention." -Brom, Eragon "You wouldn't believe how many magicians are killed by mad rabbits. It's much more common than you might think." Angela - Brisinger "DOOMED! They're all doomed. Notice I didn't say what kind of doom it was, so whatever happens to them, I will have predicted it. But we can’t live in the light all of the time. You have to take whatever light you can hold in the dark with you -- Great and Terrible Beauty Will Turner: This is either madness... or brilliance. Me, I'm dishonest. And you can always trust a dishonest person to be dishonest. Honestly. But it's the honest ones you have to look out for, because they're the ones who will always do something stupid. ~Pirates of the Caribbean~ "The entire history of human existence has always been a battle between wisdom and stupidity." ~His Dark Materials: The Amber Spyglass "Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know." ~Foaly, Artemis Fowl, Book One~ Jump off the cliff. It'll be less messy that way. ~ Gilan, from the Rangers Apprentice series "Aaaah, when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born."-Ron-HP It crosses my mind that Cinna's calm and normal demeanour masks a complete madman. ~The Hunger Games~ I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! -Dory from Finding Nemo Who's more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him? ~Obi Wan Kenobi in Star Wars~ This is a place of mystery...a sanctuary. Every book, every volume you see here has a soul. The soul of the person who wrote it and of those who read it and lived and dreamed with it. Every time a book changes hands, every time someone runs his eyes down its pages, its spirit grows and strengthens. ~The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon~ "But with all these books written about it, why isn't this theory more widely known?" "These books can't possibly compete with centuries of established history, especially when that history is endorsed by the ultimate bestseller of all time." Faukman's eyes went wide. "Don't tell me Harry Potter is actually about the Holy Grail." "I was referring to the Bible." Faukman cringed. "I knew that." - Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code Brian: Please, please, please listen! I've got one or two things to say. Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway. I keep trying to kidnap Jasper, but Alice is always at his window with a bat. How does she kn…ohhh, right! “I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures.” -Bella Swan-Twilight When Edward goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Harry Potter. Pandora: Are you a man still? Lestat: Well, think about Adam in the Bible, I mean this guy is the Wimp of All Time saying to Almighty God, the Creator, Yahweh Who made the stars, 'The woman gave me to eat!' I mean-pa-lease. Lestat: I despise you! I ought to destroy you-finish what I started when I made you. Turn you into ashes and sift them through my hands. You know that I could do it! Like that! Like the snap of mortal fingers, I could do it. Burn you as I burnt your little house. And nothing could save you, nothing at all. "I live lies because I cannot endure the weakness of anger, and I cannot admit the irrationality of love." - Marius in Blood and Gold “Stop looking at my buttons!” Lestat de Lioncourt—to Louis upon his transformation into a vampire. “A singer can shatter a glass with the proper high note…but the simplest way for anyone to break a glass is simply to drop it on the floor.”-Marius “I’ve always been my own teacher. And I must confess I’ve always been my favorite pupil as well.”-Lestat "I tell you, we would be hard put to determine what is more evil- religion or the pure idea. The intervention of the supernatural or the elegant abstract solution! Both have bathed this earth in suffering; both have brought the human race literally and figuratively to its knees." Questions of life: Does it really count in court when an Atheist is sworn under oath using a Bible? Why is it that when we are humming, and we block our noses, the humming stops? Do we really hum through our mouths or our noses? Isn't it strange that Halloween is the one day a year that your parents tell you to take candy from strangers? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialised? Can blind people see their dreams? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead? Why is the alphabet in that order? If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into? If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are these "others" here for? How is it possible to have a "civil" war? Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first? Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems? If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches? Why do alarm clocks “go off” when they start making noise? Why is it called quicksand when it sucks you down very, very slowly? What color hair do bald men put on their driver’s license? Why do we put our suits in a garment bag and our garments in a suitcase? When two airplanes almost collide, why is it a “near miss”? Shouldn’t it be a “near hit”? How can something be both “new” and “improved”? Why do we shut up, but quiet down? Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice? How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? "Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?" How come abbreviated is such a long word? Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is? Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"? Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98? Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear? If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops? If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future? If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable? Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do? Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside? Why do you go "back and forth" to town if you really must go forth before you go back? Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Mental Hospital Phone Menu Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital! If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you. If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever. If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up Words of Wisdom It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbour’s newspaper, that's the time to do it. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. If you lend someone 20 and never see him again; it was probably worth it. If you haven't much education you must use your brain. Never mess up an apology with an excuse. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Wisdom comes from good judgment and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. A closed mouth gathers no foot. Duct tape is like the Force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. Never miss a good chance to shut up. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving. Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick. Copy: Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO! Scientists are meanie-bo-beenies. If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile. I AM IN SIRIUS DENIAL! SIRIUS IS NOT DEAD! AND I WILL NOT LET YOU SAY OTHERWISE! If you too are in Sirius denial then copy and paste this into your profile. Because Denial is not just a river in Egypt! If you think that Harry should have remained dead in DH like any other normal person then copy and paste this into your profile. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile If mythical creatures exist (dragons, unicorns, phoenixes, etc.), copy this onto your profile! If you would kill to have wings, post on profile. If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile. Munchkins of all worlds unite! If you're short and proud, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love England, Ireland and Wales, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. ／l、 This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. 1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning. If you support gay marriage and want to show it, paste this into your profile. | |||||||
Netherlands