Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter, Twilight, and Instant Star.
name:Heaven (yes my parents are that weird there not even religous)
i will be changing my pen name because of some things that i really dont want to go in to. my old one was JommyIsthebest
age:i am old enough to be offended by people that ask
state i live in: maine
Super star links :
play list of songs http://pl.st/p/23766173963
Jude's date outfit http://www.polyvore.com/judes_first_date_with_mason/set?id=59816384
the real deal stuff
Bella's room: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_OAh4Xl94vrU/SsU0Lq103rI/AAAAAAAANH0/0FVF1xjSEwE/s400/hcStevenGambrel12.2.jpg
Bella's dress for the concert http://img.dawanda.com/Product/145/145767/full/1200985543-264.jpg
Bella's shoes for the concert http://www.alternative-footwear.co.uk/shoes/shoes_files/image001.jpg
Play list of songs: http://www.playlist.com/playlist/19238952971
(Bella's costume http://www.lingeriediva.com/sexy-costumes/sexy-vampires/vampire-vixen-costume )
(Esme's costume http://www.lingeriediva.com/sexy-costumes/nurses/bedside-nurse-pc-set )
(Alice costume http://www.lingeriediva.com/sexy-costumes/gangster-girls/players-club-pinstripe-dress-set )
(Bonny’s costume http://www.lingeriediva.com/sexy-costumes/french-maid-costumes/french-maid-fifi )
(Carlisle costume http://www.lingeriediva.com/sexy-costumes/mens-costumes/sexy-surgeon )
(Emmett costume http://www.lingeriediva.com/sexy-costumes/sexy-vampires/fang-bangin-fun-vampire-costume_2 )
(Edward costume http://www.lingeriediva.com/sexy-costumes/couples-costumes/victorian-man )
(Jasper costume http://www.lingeriediva.com/sexy-costumes/gangster-girls/gangster-rob-n-banks)
Zodiac Sign: Cancer
Enjoys:harry potter twilight my friends
you can find me at http://harrypotterfanfiction.com/viewuser.php?showuid=162123all harry potter fanfictions!!
10 facts about me!!
1) I love harry potter if you don't you can suck my imaginary dick
2) twilight is my second fav book but harry potter trumps all
3) we wiped the stage with the other chorus's!! at the chorus trip
4) aar is my #1 band
5) you mess with my friends you mess with me(insert gerr here)
6) i have a big fear of spiders
7) I love yaoi fanfics
8) my fav couples are:
harry/ remus(insert yummmmm! here)
9)my least fav
harry/that cow ginny(insert shudder here)
10)on youtube my name is nicky10006 look me up on both hpff and youtube
16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
Read this and ask yourself: Is that really fair?
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtorhang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.
Re-post this on your profile if you play music so loud so you can sing along and no one will hear you! then add your name to the list! HiDiNgFrOmYoU JommyISthebest
92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.
If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you approve gay-marriages put this in your profile and add your name to the list:
Gaara's-pandachan101, art-is-a-BANG-2-hard-to-resist, Lee-All-The-Way, Starship13, Wistful-Dreamer, Calypphire, Shadow-Ravin, BlackPheonix913, Valerya Potter, Dowash, Phoenixsapphira, JommyISthebest,
There are no sexualities. You love who you love and that's that. It's not restricted to one gender, no matter what gender it is. If you agree with me, copy & paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai ChOpstIcKsXOXO, RadicalEd57, Fierygirl0, tsukiko3000,Neonzangetsu, chaosthesith89,JommyISthebest
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mttaer in waht oredrthe ltteers in a wrodare, the
olny iprmoatnt tihngis tahtthe frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raedit wouthit a porbelm.
Tihsis bcuseaethe huamn mnid deosnot raed
ervey lteterby istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyasthought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile
hey y'all i am having like major brain block if any one has ideas for love in strange places it would be welcome
what do the harry potter adults think of you?
Albus Dumbledore wishes you hadnt joined Voldemorts side.
Lord Voldemort sees you as his most valuable Death Eater.
Minerva McGonagall wonders how such a good student turned out so evil.
Severus Snape is madly in love with and would do anything for you and is the only person who understands you.
Rubeus Hagrid thinks youre strange.
Horace Slughorn thinks you were one of his best students.
Sirius Black secretly loves you and curses Severus for being the one that got you.
Remus Lupin doesnt understand why Sirius loves you since youre evil.
Bill Weasley isnt totally convinced youre not that evil.
Lucius Malfoy thinks youre a great Death Eater.
Bellatrix Lestrange doesnt trust you and tries to convince Voldemort youre a traitor.
witch marauder is the one for me?
He's very intelligent, and quite bookish, but he's very caring and he defends those he cares about.He's quite attractive too, only he's so quiet that most girls didn't notice him!
witch harry potter teacher would i date? z Lupin. Smart, a little sad, quiet and understanding, with a warm heart and heavy burden.
What do the Harry Potter Characters think of you? (For the Girls!!)
You enjoy spending time with friends and finding trouble. Or does trouble find you? Here's what others think about you:
Harry: I love her and she's agreed to be my girlfriend. I'm so happy!!
Hermione: She's my sister and I love spending time with her.
Ron: Harry's lucky. She's so much fun to be around.
Ginny: I hate her, she has Harry and I want him to be mine!!
Fred & George: She helps us test things out even if it's embarrassing.
Neville: She's nice enough to help me out! Harry is one lucky guy!
Draco: Potter's girl. Enough said.
Remus: She's a lovely girl. I see her as another cub just like I see Harry. He found a girl that is smart and beautiful.
Sirius: I'm so proud of my godson. If I was only younger...no I see her as my daughter and Harry had better keep her!
Minerva: Such a sweet girl. Very smart. Wonderful practical work!
Snape: Very talented in Potions. Not that I'd ever tell her.
Dumbledore: I see her as an auror!
Voldemort: I'll kill her and Potter!
What do the Harry Potter Characters think of you?
Harry: He's your friend, but you two don't really talk much.
Ron: Ron is alway on his toes around you for fear that you'll prank him.
Neville: He doesn't really pay attention to you.
Draco: He hates because you are always pranking him. He would hex you if he ever got the chance.
Crabbe and Goyle: They hate you the same way Draco does.
Fred and George: They both really like you, but George beat Fred to you. You are dating George, and you two are happy. The three of you are always pranking.
Percy: Percy doesn't really like you because you're as bad a pranker as Fred and George and he doesn't approve of the way you 'throw your life away'.
Hermione: She's the only reason you ever study anymore. You two are good friends.
Ginny: She usually sees through the tricks you and the twins play. You two laugh whenever one of Fred or George's tricks backfire, or when they get blamed for your pranks.
Luna: Luna doesn't know you except that you like to play pranks on her.
Cho: She hates the pranks you play on her.
Pansy: Pansy hates you because Draco hates you.
Sirius: He finds your pranks funny and will often help you make them better.
Dumbledore: He is the reason you're still in school.
McGonagall: She wishes you would stop goofing off and at least TRY to do well.
Lupin: Lupin tries to stop you from pranking, but it never really works.
Snape: He can't stand the pranks you pull off in the dungeons.
Hagrid: He'd like you a lot better if you didn't keep scaring his creatures with your pranks.
Most Gryffindors: Try to stay on your good list so they won't get pranked.
Most Slytherins: Are the ones you prank.
Most Hufflepuffs: Have heard your reputation.
Most Ravenclaws: Are afraid to get pranked.
Your House: Gryffindor
Your Boyfriend: George
Your BFF's: Fred
Your Enemies: Most Slytherins
You know you live in 2009 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your studen ID number on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or facebook
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
Black and White: A black man was talking to a white man and said: "I'm black. When I was born I was black. When I grew up I was black. When I'm sick I'm black. When I go in the sun I'm black. When I'm cold I'm black. When I die I'll still be black. But you: When you were born you were pink. When you grew up you were white. When you're sick you're green. When you go in the sun you're red. When you're cold you're blue. When you die you'll be purple. And you have the nerve to call me colored. "
We interrupt this profile for an important message to one who has passed on. He will be remembered dearly.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
A moment of silence.
ONLY IN AMERICA...
...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance
...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks
...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front
...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8
...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter
...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke
...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages
...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place
...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures.
Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts:
No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class
Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. “Polishing my wand” in the common room is not.
“Liften Separatis Crotchum” is not a real spell.
If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.
I will not call the DADA teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.
When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can be only ONE!”. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled “Firewhiskey”.
It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape’s personal postbox.
I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.
I will not refer to the Accio charm as “The Force”.
Albus Dumbledore’s proper title is “Headmaster”, not “My Liege”.
I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I foresaw her death.
If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.
I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
I will not tell first years that Moon Prism Power is a basic Transfiguration spell.
I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.
I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
I will not sing “We’re off to see the wizard” when sent to the Headmaster’s office.
The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.
I shall not give Professor Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
I may not chase Seamus Finnegan around school in search of his ‘Pot o’ Gold’. Nor am I allowed to tell people he’s a leprechaun on steroids.
I may not refer to Sirius Black as ‘Seriously Black’.
I am not allowed to ask First Years if they need help ‘polishing their wand’. No matter how funny their reactions are.
I get plenty of exercise: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
Like Daddy always said: If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit!
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it.
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning 'to rip out a mans genitals through his wallet'. - Robin Williams
I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I'm on my last one.
Everyone has the right to be stupid. Some people just abuse the privilege
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall out of a window...I laugh.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. - Winston Churchill.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match it for me at kick boxing.
I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.
The most dangerous enemy is that which no one fears
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
If you can't beat them, join them. If you can't join them, bribe them. If you can't bribe them, blackmail them.
Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
Admit nothing, deny everything, demand proof - then blame a Private.
The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.
If at first you don't succeed - cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!
Consciousness - that annoying time between naps.
Smile - it confuses people.
I reject your reality and substitute my own.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up."
A friend trys to help you when you get hurt, a true friends sits there laughing their ass off saying, 'Dude, you're an idiot!'
A friend will bail you out of jail, a true friend will be there next to you saying "damn that was fun!"
A friend will tell you when your wrong, a true friend will wait for you to screw up so they can laugh in your face.
A friend will encourage your choices in life, a true friend will write them down for black mail.
A friend will help you study for a test, a true friend will help you procrastinate studying for a test.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. - Oscar Wilde
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.
Incoming fire has the right of way. - War Laws
I don't fight with idiots; they bring me to their level then beat me with experience.
I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
Laughter is the best medicine... or is it the wine?
Are you going to kiss me, or do I have to lie in my diary?
Beans beans are good for your heart! The more you eat the more you fart!
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station... "
This poem is really sad so be prepared...
My name is Chris.
I am three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't do a wrong
I can't speak at all
Or else im locked up
All day long.
When im awake im all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home
When my mommy does come home
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe i'll just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's bar.
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the wall
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And run to the door
He's already locked it
And i start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken,
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much to late
His face has been twisted
Into a unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door
While i lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor
My name is Chris
I am three,
Tonight my daddy
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILDABUSE, COPY THAT POEM INTO YOUR PROFILE!!
You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!-That happens alot with me and my friends! litrally! I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.-Totally One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons-I agree!
What I lernt from Twilight
!1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine. 2. The future is not set in stone. 3. Men are crabby when they're hungry. 4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear. 5. True love knows no boundaries. 6. Some people are just danger magnets. 7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love. 8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle! 9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them. 10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes. 11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day. 12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain. 13. Family is about more than just blood. 14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing. 15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising. 16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings. 17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity. 18. There are exceptions to every rule. 19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid. 20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy. 21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's. 22. Cold hands = Warm heart. 23. Not breathing is uncomfortable. 24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair. 25. Romeo was an idiot. 26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day. 27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone. 28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with. 29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
Random But VERY true Facts!
"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton
"Man must wait long time with mouth open for roast duck to fly in." ancient Chinese proverb "What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" –Unknown "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown “I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for." --Jasper Carrott "Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." --Will Rogers "I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it." –Unknown "Perfection is a waste of time." --Kim De Coite Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work?' Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?'" –Unknown "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein That is the truest sign of insanity--insane people are always sure they are fine. It is only the sane people that are willing to admit that they are crazy." --Nora Ephron “You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.” – Unknown “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Unknown “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” – Unknown “He who laughs last didn't get it.” – Unknown “When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown "A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." Herm Albright Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.
"There's no such thing as a stupid question, until you ask it." -That-Guy-With-The-Glasses
When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up! Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you! Woman: But would you stay there?? I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again. I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals. There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that idiot upside the head Pass it on... Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. "Love your enemies! It really pisses them off" Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." A good friend picks you up when you fall,a best friend picks you up and then trips you again." Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin. Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"
Friends offer chips.Closer Friends give you fries.Best friends steal them from you. A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?" Jasper Whitlock I love you! Oops! Did I say that out loud? You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead... I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes. I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride) Natalie-07 (Jack Sparrow, I know I know he's older then my dad but it's not like we're actually dating!) Silverstar's Shadow (Kratos Aurion (like practically every other girl who plays ToS religiously), Yuan (damn the people who decided to never tell you his last name!), Sirius Black (not Gary the Old Man... I imagined him to look a little more like Adam from Three Days Grace... hehe... Ahem.), Draco Malfoy), AsterEris:Firefall'sLegacy(Jasper Cullen...sigh), AviorHyrax (Fell from fell...I love him, I know, hes a wolf...can't I have my dream? Murtaghlaughing really hard right now Aster..., Mr. Darcyawwwww, i love him, again, still laughing,artemis fowl, Victor, from Cathy's book/key(I have a lot more but still), MiracleJade (Legolas from Lord of the Rings, Murtagh from Eragon movie (sucked) and Kisten from Kim Harrison books), xXxNyte-chanxXx (Edward Cullen-Twilight duh...Ian MacPhie-Love at Skate series)Edwardcullenrocks(Edward Cullen-twilight, Yuki and Kyo Sohma-fruits basket, and Alexander Sterling-vampire kisses series)Cocoloco123(Jasper Hale/Whitlock-Twilight )
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. The few people who would die laughing if the newest fashion was not breathing are brilliant Good friends give you a ride. Close friends buy you a car. Best friends are the getting-away-from-the-scene-of-the-crime driver. We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really good at one thing, staying strong. WARNING:Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head. NOTE:Do use an axe to kill a fly on ur enemies head Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public Always forgive our enemies - nothing annoys them so much. Emo kids have cool hair Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. I called your boyfriend gay.he hit me me with his purse
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. "He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron." "They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?" "People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual." "When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE
my imaginary friend doesn't like you either i hate it when the voices argue with my imaginary friends Smile. It confuses people.
hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it. flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss. Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left. Every rule has an exception. Especially this one. Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything. The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45. Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as the go by. When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade. Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship. Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them. Don't mess with me I've got a stick. I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have Somebody needs a Happy Meal. Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Jasper is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows with your friend just to see who knows more names. Crazy is when u start to sing a old song that no one under 60 should know, in public.Crazy is when everything goes quiet and your friend and you bust out laughing and everyone stares. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock! "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?" Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow "Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again To put it nicely, I hope you choke "True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream" Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn I'm not insensitive, I just don't care True love isn't free, but i'd pay anything to have it real life isn't full of happily ever afters, just bursts of happiness that don't last very long If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem. The world is cruel... get used to it! Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal. If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler. The evil gnomes poked me in the but with a stick. Hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things and no good thing ever dies, except my dog scruffy, he got hit by a car. Welcome to the world of very scary fearies! For those who think fearies are innocent little creatures... Killing gnomes with sporks! Would you like a cookie? So would I. You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear. Checking away messages. It's like stalking, but no one knows you are doing it. I even have people's names on my buddy list that I don't know, but I hear they have really good away messages. Some people really put their all into away messages. There are the people who document their every move: "I am taking a shower, but when I get out, I am going to pee, shave, and then iron my pants. Call me if you need me before I go to the mall at 2pm." Then there's the creative one: "I am away from my computer right now." And of course there's that one from the really cool guy: "Yo its friday night, I am drunk, and not sittin up lookin at away messages" Funny how that guy never seems to go idle. Don't take it personally.. but you smell like an ice cube Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck. A day without sunshine is like... night. A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?" A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water! Behold the mighty...chihuahua? Busy polking my neighbor with a spork. shes really old and wrinkly this is fun muahahaha Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!! Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls. Feeding my pet old person right now...! Hello. You have reached The Autopsy-profile. If you are already cut open, Press 1.If you are ordering a new body, Press 2.If you are ordering a cut body, Press 3.If you are picking up a body, Press 4.If you chose none of the options above, please stay on the profile. You will soon be tracked down and picked up in a nice cozy black 'sleeping-bag'.Have a nice day and thank you for choosing Autopsy-profile! I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect! I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I? I do what cheerios tell me. I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'. I'm a little teapot short and stout; here is my hande, here is my...other handle? crap. now i'm a sugar bowl I'm bartending at an AA meeting I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you! (haha just like Edward Cullen!! :D) I'm knocking on heavens door.. voice in background: "Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!!" me:" That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont look at me like that..." I'm out driving with my keys in an electrical outlet... If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth. My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet... Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions. The first time I was chatting with someone online, they asked me "asl?" I tried to sound it out and got realy ticked of and started warning them because I thought they were calling me an asshole. yo-yos were invented as a weapon I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. If you're forced to choose between two evils, choose the one you've never tried before. ;) What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Lunamione7, Sunshine0235, Edwardcullenrocks,Cocoloo123
30 Important Lessons Learned From Twilight and should be Kept in Mind
1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. A Porsche 911 Turbo makes a really great bribe.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for others.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.
You know you're addicted with Twilight if...
You start going up to random people to tell them you want an Edward.
You think your next door neighbor either looks like a vampire, or really is a vampire.
You try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them.
When you see a box labeled "Forks", you think there's something imported from Forks, Washington in there.
You use Twilight for every single school project that pops up. (I tried this. Us Twilighters made a group and made our activity all about Twilight. Those Anti- Twilight had to suffer when it was out turn to present! It’s major fun!!)
You break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't glitter in the sun like Edward.
You promise your friend that if he can find you an Edward, you'll give him the answers to your homework for the rest of your school-life.
When your best friend's mom drives fast and you scream, "OMG! You drive fast! You're a vampire and you didn't TELL me?"
You drink red drinks and yell, "Whoo! I'm a vampire! But I'm a vegetarian one, because I don't kill people! Only red berries!"
You plan on naming your children after characters in any of the books in the Twilight series.
You walk around school looking for pale-skinned, inhumanly beautiful classmates with red or gold eyes.
You see a shadow, think its Edward, and start talking to it.
Before you go to sleep at night, you start thinking about Twilight before you can fall asleep.
You have a dream at night and are ecstatic when you realize it's about or related to Twilight.
Then you realize you forgot a huge part of it and you start hating yourself for forgetting.
You compare every guy you meet to Edward and are honestly disappointed when they never measure up. (Pfft ya.)
You see the name Edward- then you and your friends starts to freak out. (Been there, done that. Very fun!)
You always defend Twilight when someone says it sucks.
For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon, you acted as a missionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had read them.
If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it, because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever".
If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight is the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them.
You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story (and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off.
For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk about.
You try to think of a way to talk about Twilight with your friends.
The space in your bookshelf where you place your Twilight books is like a sacred place.
You don't want anyone to borrow, even touch, them in fear of them getting destroyed.
You create codenames for you, your friends and your enemies using the names of Twilight characters, so no one will know what you are talking about.
You began reading fan fiction as a desperate attempt to read something about Twilight, when you had already finished the books.
Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a vampire.
Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.
You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people who don't understand it just haven't read the book.
When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought it was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh.
Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Saga.
You copy down pictures of Twilight and save it.
You can't believe that most people haven't read the books.
When you found out about Midnight Sun you had a mental breakdown.
You know you're hopelessly obsessed, but you don't care, since its TWILIGHT!
55 things to do in elavators!
1. CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2. STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3. WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4. GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5. MEOW occasionally. 6. STARE at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7. SAY ‘ding!’ at each floor. 8. SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9. MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10. STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11. WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12. TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13. DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14. WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15. PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16. ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17. HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18. DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19. BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20. PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. 21. SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22. CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. 23. MAKE car race noises when someone gets on or off. 24. CONGRATULATE all for being in the same lift with you. 25. GRIMACE painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" 26. WALK on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 27. WHILE the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently. 28. LET your cell phone ring - don't answer it. 29. WALK into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..." 30. TAKE shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't. 31. ASK people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer. 32. ALSO in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting. 33. ENTER the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat. Act offended when they tell you you’re not wearing anything and accuse them of lying. 34. TELL people that you can see their aura. 35. WHEN the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again." 36. ANNOUNCE in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 37. DRESS up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time...” 38. START breathing heavily and grab your chest when someone walks in. Then stumble out gasping for air 39. WHEN someone comes in ask them to press 5 or 6 different floors 40. GET in and don't press any buttons. Wait for the elevator to be called somewhere and repeat 39. 41. IF you are the only one in the elevator, press all of the buttons and stand, staring at the door, waiting for someone to come. 42. LAUGH maniacally whenever anyone looks at you and say you're here for the mental health convention. 43. LAY down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play. 44. LEAVE a box in the corner, and when someone gets on; ask them if they can hear ticking. 45. WEAR a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. 46. LISTEN to the elevator walls with your stethoscope. 47. DO the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved. 48. PLACE potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not feng shui." 49. HUM the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again. 50. BRING a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers. 51. DRUM on every available surface. 52. WRITE a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter. 53. SAY "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it. A few seconds after, put it back in your pocket and announce to other passengers that you were talking to your pet monkey in jail. 54. COME on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..." 55. EVERY time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
Proof of the Existence of Stupidity
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Oh, but that saves so much time!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be...)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with head colds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (And I'm taking this why?)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (Hmm...Something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to what? No doors?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (Captain Obvious strikes again)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
30 Good Reasons why GIRLS are always the BEST
1. We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, free dinners, free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. Its possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We have ways of getting what we want easily.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We have style.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. There's the saying "Ladies first."
The Logic behind Rock, Paper, Scissors
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to "magically wrap around" Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody! A rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shoot, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.”
Do YOU remember the 90s??
Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it. You're a 90's kid if you remember:
You remember watching -Doug -Ren & Stimpy -Pinky and the Brain -AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! -Rockos modern Life. -Animaniacs -Gargoyles
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!
" You just cant resist finishing this . . . "in west Philadelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember -Step by Step -Family Matters -Dinosaurs -Boy Meets World
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
When everything was settled by -rock paper scissors or -bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or -ms. mary mack
When kick ball was a daily activity.
When we used to obey our parents
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You remember The Original Game Boy.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching -The Magic School Bus -Wishbone -Reading Rainbow -and Ghostwriter on PBS
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads and Splashers Gum.
You remember watching -the 1st Batman -Aladdin -Ninja Turtles -ghost busters
You remember Ring Pops.
you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
You remember boom boxes .vs. cd players.
Making those little paper fortune things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
One word. . . . . . . .trolls.
Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of -Rugrats -Wild Thornberry's -Power Rangers -Rocket Power.
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You collected Beanie Babies.
You remember Carebears You know that Lambchop's song never ended.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
Everyone watched the WB.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . . Before the Internet & text messaging . . . Before Sidekicks & iPods . . . Before PlayStation3 or X-BOX 360 . . . Before Spongebob . . . Before Tupac was shot.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
You had slap bracelets!
You Actually played outside until it was dark!
Way back. Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Post this in your bulletin if you remember these days . . . .
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot.
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someones liver?')
After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Sticks off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)
Everyone is entitled to being stupid, but you just abuse the prviledge.
I would say "screw you" but I think to many people already did.
I am really trying to imagine you with a personality. Oops, I can't.
Not the brightest crayon in the box, now, are we?
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Your a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal.
You just won't leave me alone, will you? You know, people like you are the reason why people like me need medication.
Is it time for your medication or mine?
Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me beautiful, What happened to you?
List 5 reasons why I shouldn't talk to you. And then read them over and over.
If stupidity was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."
7. My mother taught me IRONY "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me WEATHER "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me: ENVY "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me: ESP "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me: HUMOR "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22.My Mother taught me: Genetics "I swear you're just like your father."
23. My Mother taught me about my Roots "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My Mother taught me Wisdom "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about Justice "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"
10 Commandments of a Teenager
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. (Why wait that long) 2) Thou shall not do drugs. (Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.) 3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart. (Wal-Mart has a bigger selection) 4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism. (Destruction has a bigger effect) 5) Thou shall not steal from your parents. (Everyone knows grandma has more money) 6) Thou shall not get into fights. (Just start them) 7) Thou shall not skip class. (Just take the whole day off) 8) Thou shall not strip in class. (Hooters pays more) 9) Thou shall not think about having sex. (like Nike says, "Just do it") 10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street. (Just leave ‘em in the middle)
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him, brings him to you and forces him to marry you til death do you part.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"
A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"
A friend wipes your tears when your rejected. A best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"
A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!" or "Dang, we screwed up."
A friend will always be like "well you deserve better". A best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days".
Try Not To Cry
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
Her name was Aurora She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive
Her dad was a drunk Her mom was an addic
t Her parents kept her Locked in an attic
Her only friend was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair
She always talked to it When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it Not a peep of sound
Until her parents unlock the door
Some more and more pain She'll have to endore
A bruise on her leg A scar on her face
Why would she be In such a horrible place?
But she grabs her bear And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die
She sits in the corner Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is My life always sinking? "
Such a bad life For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten For anything she did
Then one night Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped As hours went by
Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy One that she made
She thrust the blade Right into her chest,
" You deserve to die You worthless pest! "
The mom walked out Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear And again started crying
Police showed up At the small little house
They quickly barged in Everything was as quiet as a mouse
One officer slowly Opened a door
To find the sad little girl Lying on the floor
It must have been bad To go through so much harm
But at least she died With her best friend in her arm
If you hate child abuse, post this on your profile.
.••) .•) .•).•) .•)
(.• (.•(.•(.•(.•(.• Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, died, or is living with cancer
my grandmother died of cancer on my dads b-day he was like 7 wish i could have met her... luv you grammy
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination!
i would just like to say this bunny has made the jump to facebook and is on his way to world domination!
'Never Argue With A Woman'
One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after
several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar
with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to
read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.
Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the
woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.
What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.
'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think
A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle.
Girl:Slow down, i'm scared.
Guy:No, this is fun.
Girl:No it's not, please, it's so scary.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl:I love you, slow down.
Guy:Now give me a big hug
She gave him a big hug
Guy:Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, It's really bothering me.
The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people
were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the
breaks weren't working, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she
loves him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live, even if it meant that he would die
STOP STSEREOTYPES! IF YOU HATE STEREOTPYES AND WANT THEM TO STOP, COPY THIS LIST INTO YOUR PROFILE AND ADD ANY MORE STEREOTYPES YOU'VE HEARD.
I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s butt.
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a concieted snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a TOMBOY, so I MUST be a lesbian
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST eat spaghetti and meatballs everyday
I'm an OUTCAST, so I MUST be a jealous loser
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be obsessed with boys and gossip
I'm a red head, so I must have a fiery temper!
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be frigid
I'm SHY, so I MUST NOT have any friends
I have a lot of GUY friends so I MUST be dating them all"
I did not write all of these write these, but I do hate stereotyping!
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.
98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile..
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
My best friend is insane, if you think your best friend is insane, put this in your profile.
If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile.
Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, put this in your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile..
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.
If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. (My word was 'for')
If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur pro!
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile..
A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"
A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!..
If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile..
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile
If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile
IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA HURT SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree!!
If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.
If you want Bella to become a vampire, copy this into your profile .
If you think that losers hate/don't get the Twilight series, copy this into your profile. (I'm the exception-I love Twilight but I'm still a loser :)
If you think that the Twilight series is the best known book series to woman (And man)... copy this into your profile.
-If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
-There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you think Jasper is an emo vampire (really HOT emo vampire)...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile!
u are absolutly in love with Stephanie Meyers Fictional Character Jasper, Copy and Paste this into your Profile.
If you are a member of the unofficial Jasper Whitlock Hale Fangirl Club, copy and paste this into your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak
--/ /-\ \--put this
-- -- --on your
-- -- --account if
-- -- --you know
--\ \-/ /--someone
--\ / //--who is sick
--/ //-or has
--/ /\ \--died of
--/ /--\ \--cancer
I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself beter with words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.
PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, creative-writing-girl13, Jasper 1006, DubbleV,Derangedpixie, Back Away Slowly Then Run, WhiteWolfLegend, Severusismyman