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Short self description. I'm fifteen, bespectacled, blonde (or brunette - it's debatable) and five foot seven. That's about all you're going to get, unless of course you befriend me via the internet in a way not unlike how a stalker would befriend a young girl. Because then I'll tell you everything.

Do not expect regular updates. Ever. I write when I feel like it. Sometimes not even then.

For the sake of clarity, let's just list my various internet links.

Fanfiction (FYI, you're already there.)

Fictionpress (Let's face it. Fictionpress accounts are much less potentially embarrassing than Fanfiction accounts. We've all been in this situation. Me: ... and I do some writing in my spare time. Just to post online, you know. Acquaintance: Oh, really? On what site? Me: Erm... Fictionpress. I do some Fictionpress writing.)

Twitter (Just in case you'd like to know the specifics of my day to day life. Sure makes stalking easier.)

Youtube (Get this, right? TeamVampire was already taken! What kind of a twisted individual takes such a lame username?!)

Blogspot (Second time's the charm.)

Artemis Fowl Confidential Forums (Oh, yes. What can I say? I was bored.)

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Incomplete Stories

The Pensioner of Azkaban

Genre: Humour/Parody.

Summary: AU, AH. Wizards are just a figment of Sirius's overactive imagination. Azkaban is an old age home and he tries to escape in order to avenge Lily and James, who aren't quite as deceased as he thinks.

Notes: Previously titled Harry Potter and the Pensioner of Azkaban. Changed because Harry's hardly gonna be in it. Then again, it's not like I've planned it out. Anyway, I am working on it, but Writer's Block is a terrible thing.

The Great Pudding Downpour of '98

Genre: Humour/Parody.

Summary: AU, AH. Prequel and side shot to The Pensioner of Azkaban. The arrival of a new inmate - erm, retiree - at Azkaban is always cause for excitement among its residents, but when Sirius Black moves in, James Potter's world takes a bizarre turn.

Notes: This is new and exciting, isn't it? JulyPie's idea. I think it's brilliant so far, but it's slow going. 3000 words in over 7 months isn't particularly impressive. Oh, but how hilarious was that inmate/retiree joke in the summary? Sometimes I am just too much!

If Harry Apparated To Forks, Washington

Genre: Fantasy/Adventure.

Summary: Harry Potter/Twilight crossover. Before Breaking Dawn, during Deathly Hallows. Just a normal day in Forks for Edward and Bella, then wizards appear in their meadow - some friendly, some not. Problems arise as the two worlds begin to intertwine... ON HOLD.

Notes: Oh, yes. On hold. Lack of inspiration, motivation, appreciation... For the story, that is. I get plenty of appreciation. No promises on a continuation.

Savin' Me

Genre: Drama/Romance.

Summary: House, M.D./Twilight crossover. Prior to season four and New Moon. Bella Swan is just another patient for House. Inconsistent symptoms, strange medical history - a standard enough puzzle. Her boyfriend, however, is another matter entirely.

Notes: Don't know what I'm thinking, really. Another Twilight crossover? And a serious one, no less. But I'd like to try my hand at writing House, and I find crossovers easier in the way of plot points. Mostly bits and pieces at the moment. As with everything, no promises on updates.

Harry Potter and the Revised Laws of Drink Driving

Genre: Humour/Parody.

Summary: AU. 10-year-old orphan Harry Potter lives with his magical relatives, the Dursleys, having been left there after his parents were murdered by You-Know-Who. But on his 11th birthday, he is informed that his parents actually died in a car crash and he is a Muggle with a place at a prestigious school of technology.

Notes: Ah, now this one does have Harry in it. Please be advised, though, that the title (and summary) is subject to change. Anyway, I found the idea interesting and, regardless of whether or not it's been done, I'm gonna give it a go. May be quite a while before it's posted. Again, it's just bits and pieces, held together with thoughts and snicker inducing imaginings.

Also, don't steal anything. I'm paranoid and extremely prone to revenge. It's quite the combination.

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